HeadLocker — Jay Shannon
My TLC Predictions
Our resident philosopher analyzes the various matches and predicts the winners and losers of the latest “gimmick” PPV. He’ll also throw in a few future storyline ideas that he feels might come about after this show.
Well, the WWE is back with another silly PPV based on a single match concept, Tables, Ladders and Chairs. Most of the matches will have one or more of the TLC components involved. Let’s take a look at all this and try and sort out what the heck the WWE was thinking.
Christian v Shelton Benjamin
Ladder Match for the ECW Championship
Backstory: Christian is well into his second reign as champion. After an extended (and boring) series of matches against William Regal, Shelton Benjamin stepped in as the new number one contender. Both Christian and Shelton have sworn that this match will steal the show.
Predictions: This match does have the potential to blow the roof off the place. The sad thing is the ECW title is all but worthless, these days. The rumors are flying that ECW is due to be eliminated in the very near future. The show may well be replaced with a Future Champions of Wrestling show. I think that Shelton and Christian will give it all that they have. In the end, I expect William Regal to some how get involved and help Christian retain. Shelton and Regal will feud for the top contender spot and Christian will look towards a program against either Zack Ryder or Vance Archer.
Predicted Winner: Christian
Predicted Grade: A-
Michelle McCool v Mickie James
Backstory: Mickie got sent to Smackdown during a recent trade deal. She’s been looking to take the Women’s title from McCool. McCool has been doing her best to humiliate Mickie in the last few weeks.
Prediction: Mickie is getting ready for a major push for her upcoming country music CD. Our local radio guys, Bob and Bender, are just oohing and aahing over it. Logic would say that Mickie should take the strap to be in a higher profile spot. I don’t expect that to happen. McCool will use some underhanded tricks to keep her strap. McCool goes on to battle Beth Phoenix and Mickie becomes the next Tanya Tucker.
Predicted Winner: Michelle McCool
Predicted Grade: B-
Kofi Kingston v Randy Orton
Backstory: Randy blamed Kofi for the loss of his WWE title. He jumped Kofi and threw him into a retaining wall. Kofi came back and destroyed a new race car that Legacy had given Randy. They’ve been trading wins in this nowhere feud.
Predictions: This is your “Who the heck cares?” match of the night. This feud is already stale. There is nothing to be gained by a win on either side. Expect Orton to take this one after a somewhat decent battle.
Predicted Winner: Randy Orton
Predicted Grade: B
John Morrison v Drew McIntyre
Intercontinental Championship Match
Backstory: Drew was hand-picked by Vince McMahon to become the next big WWE superstar. Morrison took the I-C strap off Rey Mysterio, after Rey got in a little trouble with the Wellness Program.
Predictions: I really don’t see Morrison losing to Drew, at least on the first try. Morrison will get pretty banged up by Drew but will slide by and keep his strap. Expect several rematches in the upcoming weeks and months
Predicted Winner: John Morrison
Predicted Grade: B+
Jeri-Show v D-X
TLC match for the Unified Tag Team titles
Backstory: Chris Jericho and Big Show have been mocking D-X for never holding the tag straps. D-X has gone round and round with both members of Jeri-Show, both in singles and tag matches.
Predictions: I originally expected Jeri-Show to hold the tag belts until Edge returned and teamed with either Christian or Randy Orton to go after the belts. I don’t think the WWE is willing to wait that long. Jericho is already being pushed for upcoming title shots against Undertaker. I think the “Bad Boys of Wrestling” just might surprise everyone and take the belts. Since Shawn is winding down his career, this would be a good way to go out. Of course, there is a possibility that they could lose and a feud might start building. Nah, give D-X the straps.
Predicted Winner: D-X (New Champs)
Predicted Grade: B+
John Cena v Sheamus
Tables Match for the WWE title
Backstory: Sheamus won a tournament to find a number one contender from a bunch of guys who have never held the top belts. Sheamus took out just about everyone in the Battle Royal final to get this shot. He’s attacked Cena, several times, and left him knocked out in the ring.
Predictions: I have a funny feeling that this is going to turn into a two part match. Sheamus will take the belt from Cena in their first battle. Cena will cash in his rematch clause after a break to catch his breath. In the second match, Cena will win back his belt.
Predicted Winner: Sheamus, then John Cena
Predicted Grade: A-
Undertaker v Batista
Chairs match for the World Title
Backstory: Batista came back from an injury and headed to Smackdown. He turned heel when he turned against his old friend, Rey Mysterio. Batista had attacked ‘Taker, several times over.
Predictions: This is the onlyone that I’ve had trouble predicting. Undertaker can really only work short programs, due to mounting injuries. Batista would be a decent choice to take the belt. He could take out Taker and then feud with Taker’s “brother”, Kane. He would also have Rey Mysterio waiting to battle him. Taker could take several months off to be at 100% for Wrestlemania 26. I’m going to give a hard-fought victory to Batista. The options for future storylines are just too good to pass on the title switch.
Predicted Winner: Batista
Predicted Grade: A
Final Grade: B-
Final Thoughts: These “gimmick” PPVs really don’t work for me.They are far too limiting for match options. I would much rather have the return of Starrcade for the December PPV. Better yet, forget the PPV all around and give storylines the proper time to build.
— Jay Shannon