TNA IMPACT 01 17 2008

Results courtesy of

There are several major news items to report from Thursday’s “iMPACT!” on SpikeTV:

– The big news coming out of the broadcast is the revelation that maniacal manager James Mitchell is actually the father of Abyss! If Abyss didn’t come clean with the secret on Thursday, Mitchell promised the world he would do it himself. Following Abyss vs. Lance Hoyt, Mitchell commandeered a camera crew and let the secret out to the entire world. After Mitchell said this, Abyss apparently had a breakdown and left the arena without offering comment.

– In the three-way main event for a shot at Kurt Angle’s TNA World Heavyweight Championship, Christian Cage won the bout over Samoa Joe and AJ Styles. Samoa Joe was disqualified during the bout for using a steel chair, leaving Cage and AJ to battle it out. However, the referee was wrong to DQ Joe, as AJ actually used the chair, not Joe. Later, Cage got the win – and some revenge – over Styles, earning “The Instant Classic” another shot against Angle at the February “Against All Odds” Pay-Per-View.

– Also on Thursday, “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal and The Motor City Machineguns officially accepted the Street Fight challenge at Against All Odds from Team 3D and Johnny Devine. If Lethal and the Machineguns win, Lethal gets the X Championship back. If Team 3D and Devine win, the X Division will cease to exist in TNA!

– In Women’s Division action, ODB beat Angelina Love in a singles bout. After the win, ODB challenged Awesome Kong for a shot at the TNA Women’s Championship at Against All Odds!

– Kip James demanded that BG James reveal who his partner would be for his upcoming TNA World Tag Team Championship shot, which BG did on Thursday night. BG finally revealed that his choice was his own father, the legendary “Bullet” Bob Armstrong! After the reveal, Kip agreed with the decision and hugged Bullet Bob, the man Kip considers a second father.

– In singles action, one-half of the TNA World Tag Team Champions Tomko beat Eric Young. Following the bout, “Cowboy” James Storm tried to take back his drinking title from EY, but Tomko put a stop to that and backed up Young.

– Also on “iMPACT!”, Robert Roode (with his new CEO Ms. Peyton Banks) defeated “The Guru” Sonjay Dutt. After the match, Ms. Brooks hit the ring to get some revenge on Banks, but Roode stopped her. However, before Roode could inflict any damage on Brooks, Matt Morgan came out to even the odds and chase off Roode.

– In addition, cameras were at Shark Boy’s home to update fans on his medical condition after months of constant punishment and falling into a coma. However, in an amazing turn of events, Shark Boy emerged from his coma during the broadcast – but he was speaking in a strange Texas accent and swearing like a sailor! Check back next week for an update on Shark Boy!