TNA IMPACT 07 23 2009


Location: Orlando, Florida (Universal Studios)
Date: July 23, 2009 (Taped: July 20-21-22)

Taz: Taz talked about wrestling for a little promotion called ECW and sustaining some career ending injuries. Taz said that time was cut short for him and then he called hundreds of matches for the WWE. Taz talked about sitting at home and flicking on TNA wrestling. Taz said he saw the second coming of Taz when he saw Samoa Joe. Taz said he and Joe had a lot in common, but there was one difference – Joe would show remorse for his opponents. Taz said he was not capable of remorse. Taz said he reached out to Samoa Joe and said he could bring him to the next level. Taz said he became the teacher, and Joe became the student – then Joe was on everybody’s radar. Taz said that Kurt Angle and the Main Event Mafia pursued Joe the hardest. Taz said tonight Samoa Joe could bring some more gold to the Mafia when he becomes the NEXT TNA X-Division champion!

Homicide defeated Samoa Joe w/Taz by DQ to retain the TNA X-Division title: Samoa Joe snapped and punched the referee and then put Homicide in the Rear Naked Choke. The referee called for the bell and everyone acted like Joe had won the match, but Homicide was declared the winner by disqualification instead. Joe continued the assault on Homicide until Hernandez returned to TNA to confront Joe. Taz instructed Joe to back out of the ring, saying the Mafia only does things on their own time.

Jeremy Borash & Mick Foley: Mick Foley said Kurt Angle said all the right things to TNA management and now he is the golden boy. Foley said he doesn’t know why but maybe Kurt can explain why.

The Main Event Mafia (Kurt Angle & Scott Steiner & Kevin Nash -w/Jenna Morasca- & Booker T -w/Sharmell-) + “TNA Executive Shareholder” Mick Foley: Kurt Angle said it was ironic when he arrived today that everybody in the back was on their best behavior. Angle said nobody was getting fired. Angle said the Main Event Mafia and TNA executives are willing to work together to give the fans the best possible show. Angle wondered what would happen if the Main Event Mafia left TNA, then said they would end up with a bunch of losers who would ride the Titanic right into the iceberg. Angle said TNA needs the Main Event Mafia. Angle said the Mafia has a special present for the fans tonight. Angle said Kevin Nash and Booker T & Scott Steiner are willing to put their titles up for grabs for the fans’ entertainment. Angle addressed Mick Foley, saying the TNA executives agree that he is taking up space in the office. Mick Foley came out and said everyone makes mistakes. Foley said he wouldn’t tap out at Victory Road but Angle did make him tap. Foley said he wanted to go home until he heard that Angle was at the TNA offices. Foley praised the Mafia saying they backed up their reputations at Victory Road. Foley said everyone in TNA, including himself, dropped the ball last Sunday. Foley said he was the wrestler he used to be but Angle was the better man. Angle claimed that Foley has been working the TNA office for ten months. Angle said he and Joe outsmarted Foley at Slammiversary and put an end to that. Angle said there was one last thing he wants for Foley. Angle held up a set of keys to Foley’s office and booked a “Keys on a Pole” match where Foley has to fight for his job tonight.

Lauren Brooke & The British Invasion (Brutus Magnus & Doug Williams & Rob Terry): Brutus Magnus said he struck a deal to get a rematch with Team 3-D next week, and they will also put another nail in the coffin of the TNA originals tonight..

Kevin Nash defeated Amazing Red to retain the TNA Legend’s title:

Lauren Brooke & Hernandez + Homicide: Hernandez cut a promo on the Main Event Mafia & the British Invasion. Hernandez said that he had Mick Foley & Jeff Jarrett’s back because Jarrett gave him his big break. Homicide came in and confronted Hernandez for helping him (what?). Hernandez said Homicide was gonna get killed, and Homicide claimed he would be okay. Then they started argueing in Spanish. It was more like brothers fighting as opposed to a tag team breaking up..

Jeremy Borash & Mick Foley: Mick Foley was upset that he tapped to Kurt Angle because of a moderately sprained ankle. Jeremy Borash asked Foley if he was ready to put his job on the line in a match with a moderately sprained ankle? Foley got fired up and said his body wasn’t made for “Keys on a Pole” matches. Rocco & Sally came in and said they were there for Mick Foley tonight. Foley told them to put duct tape over the “MEM” on their shirts.

Lauren Brooke & Tracy Brooks: Tracy Brooks said she missed being around TNA and said she has been in Hollywood doing a movie. Tracy said Mick Foley has allowed her to resume her position as TNA Knockout LAW. She is looking CUTE.

The Main Event Mafia (Scott Steiner & Booker T w/Sharmell) defeated Big Rocco & Sally Boy to retain the TNA World Tag Team titles: The jobbers were on a roll and one of them actually hit Scott Steiner with a splash from the top rope but Sharmell pulled the referee out of the ring! Steiner made a come-back and won the match for the Main Event Mafia. The fans in the iMPACT Zone must be on drugs cause they were going wild for Big Rocco & Sally Boy..

Jeremy Borash & Mick Foley + Eric Young: Mick Foley prepared for his match by visualizing his keys on top of an invisible pole. Eric Young came in and said he has been unprofessional. Young said he should have taken care of his personal problems with Jeff Jarrett privately. Young said Foley was fighting for his life at Victory Road and he realized he should be fighting for TNA too. Young apologized to Foley and said he wanted to go back to work for TNA. Foley put Young in the 10-man tag team match later on the TNA Originals team.

Lauren Brooke & Tara w/Poison (the taratula): Tara said she doesn’t need the $50,000 but there are a lot of charity’s that does need it. Tara said she was in the Mafia Battle Royal to prove that she is the BEST. Tara said referee Slick Johnson will be on the outside and said if he wants some of this he will get some free of charge..

Tracy Brooks wins a spot in the Main Event Mafia!: The winner of the match would become the “chosen one” for the Main Event Mafia and also receive $50,000. Wouldn’t Sharmell and Jenna Morasca have a problem with that? “TNA Knockout LAW” Tracy Brooks was the special spandex referee. Participants included Amazing Kong, Sarita (Sarah Stock), Taylor Wilde, ODB, Alissa Flash (Cheerleader Melissa), Sojourner Bolt, Daffney, Angelina Love, Velvet Sky, Madison Rayne, and Tara. —- Daffney was eliminated. Madison Rayne was eliminated (Slick Johnson payed extra attention to Madison), ODB was thrown over the top rope but Cody Deaner caught her and put her back in the ring (Slick Johnson ejected the Deaner from ringside), Sojo Bolt was eliminated by Taylor Wilde. Valvet Sky was eliminated by Tara. Main Event Mafia member Kevin Nash walked down with a check for $50,000. Taylor Wilde was eliminated by Alissa Flash. Alissa Flash was eliminted by Sarita. Angelina Love was eliminated by ODB. ODB was eliminated by Amazing Kong. Sarita was eliminated by Amazing Kong. Amazing Kong and Tara fought as the final two but out of nowhere Tracy Brooks dumped them both over the top rope and celebrated! Kong & Tara continued to brawl on the floor. Kevin Nash declared Tracy Brooks the “chosen one” for the Main Event Mafia and presented her with the $50,000 check. After the match, Tara smacked referee Slick Johnson and gave him a low-blow!

Lauren Brooke & The Beautiful People (Angelina Love & Velvet Sky & Madison Rayne) + Cody Deaner + ODB: Angelina Love said it should be them “servicing” the Main Event Mafia and complained about Tracy Brooks winning the Battle Royal. Velvet Sky said everyone was jealous and throwing obsticals in their way. Madison Rayne complained about ODB tonight (I guess that is their next feud). Cody Deaner came in and said if they have a problem with the ODB then they have a problem with the Deaner. Angelina tried to seduce the Deaner but then Velvet kneed him in the crotch! ODB made the save and proclaimed “I hate those whores!”

RINGSIDE: Mike Tenay was handed a note saying Sting will get his last title shot at Hard Justice against TNA champion Kurt Angle in a triple threat match with either Matt Morgan or A.J. Styles..

Lauren Brooke & TNA Originals (A.J. Styles & Christopher Daniels & Eric Young & Robert Roode & James Storm): A.J. Styles said they’ve been doing it for seven years and they dropped the ball at Victory Road. Styles said tonight they TAKE BACK TNA!

The British Invasion (Brutus Magnus & Doug Williams & Rob Terry) & Sheik Abdul Bashir & Kiyoshi defeated TNA Originals (A.J. Styles & Christopher Daniels & Eric Young & Robert Roode & James Storm): A.J. Styles was about to finish off Brutus Magnus, but Eric Young (who is Canadian) stabbed the TNA Originals in the back and turned heel again! Eric Young gave A.J. Styles a pile-driver and has seemingly joined the Foreign Contingent!

TNA World Heavyweight champion Kurt Angle vs. Mick Foley ended in a No Contest: Mick Foley limped to the ring and looked like he had tears in his eyes. Supposedly the only way you could win was the grab the keys. Foley actually knocked Angle out with a Superplex and began to climb the pole to get the keys. Suddenly the Main Event Mafia hit the ring. Well Samoa Joe sprinted, Scott Steiner stumbled, Taz waddled, Kevin Nash walked, and Booker T probably pranced. They destroyed Foley, and Angle slapped him across the face! Angle told Foley “your next card will be your last card.” Bobby Lashley came out and the Mafia acted like he was with them with hugs all around. Angle gave the thumbs down sign and told Lashley to finish Foley. Lashley lined up but then took out the entire Main Event Mafia!!!