TNA IMPACT 09 24 2009


Location: Orlando, Florida (Universal Studios)
Date: September 24, 2009 (Taped: September 21-22)

PARKING LOT (EARLIER TODAY): Eric Young & World Elite arrived in the parking lot in a limo and the Sheik & Kiyoshi were attacked by Hernandez!

The Main Event Mafia (Kurt Angle & Kevin Nash & Scott Steiner & Booker T w/Sharmell & Traci Brooks) + World Elite (Eric Young & Homicide & Sheik Abdul Bashir & Brutus Magnus & Doug Williams & Rob Terry): Kurt Angle said at No Surrender the Mafia retained MOST of its gold. Angle said he was the only one not holding his gold, but maintained that he did NOT lose his TNA World Heavyweight title. Angle said he was not beaten by A.J. Styles, he was screwed by Matt Morgan. Angle said during the bulk of the match, out of the goodness of his heart, he saved Morgan on many ocassions. Angle said he had no idea why Morgan knocked him out with the big boot. Angle said he asked for it, and got a match with Morgan at Bound For Glory. Angle said the Mafia was still the most dominant force in the history of the business. The World Elite joined the Mafia in the ring and objected to Angle claiming they were the most “dominant force.” Young remembered Hernandez beating up Angle and almost Border-tossing him off the stage. Young wondered what would have happened if he (Young) didn’t show up and save his life. Young said he bailed Angle out, and tonight he is going to return the favor. Young said last night Hernandez attacked an unarmed man, and now the doctor said he should be out for at least six weeks. Young suggested he and Angle join forced to take Hernandez out tonight! Booker T interrupted and said the Mafia rules TNA, and Eric Young just lives here. Booker T said he never liked Young or his “romper room gang” and told them to pack up and leave! Young said he wasn’t concerned what Booker thought about him or his men. The Mafia guys had to hold Booker back from getting into a big brawl and Angle got him under control. Angle admitted that Young did him a favor at No Surrender, and he is a man of integrity so he will tag with Young tonight. Angle shook hands with Young to seal the deal..

SUICIDE defeated Pope D’Angelo Dinero: The Pope (with his ribs taped) attacked SUICIDE from behind during SUICIDE’s entrance (which is what SUICIDE did to the Pope at No Surrender). The Pope used a tamborine as a weapon against SUICIDE. A few minutes later, SUICIDE did a Spring-board, but the Pope caught him with a crazy mid-air spear by jumping off a chair! They kept going and SUICIDE hit the SUICIDE-solution on the Pope on a trash can for the win!

Lauren Brooke & Team 3-D (Brothers Ray & Devon): Brother Ray said he was pissed off at Rhino. Brother Devon said he doesn’t care what happened to Rhino. Devon said he tried to reason with Rhino last week, and he took a cheap shot. Devon said tonight Rhino has to look him right in the face and take that cheap shot. Devon said they were going to do it like they used to do it!

Lauren Brooke & Kevin Nash: Lauren Brooke said it wasn’t very champion-like when he beat Abyss by tasering him in the crotch. Nash defended himself and asked Lauren what her fascination was with the freak. Nash said he likes people that are freaky, and gave Lauren a glass of wine. Lauren said she was trying to be professional, but took a drink of the wine anyway. Nash continued to smooth talk until a couple midgets walked in and Nash said “imagine how big it will look in their small hands.” Lauren was disgusted and Nash said the “Big Sexy tour continues!”

Brother Devon vs. Rhino ended in a No Contest: Rhino sprinted to the ring but he was blind-sided by Brother Devon who was hiding behind the guard rail. Devon was busted open pretty bad and the referee counted both men out of the ring. TNA security had to run down and pull Devon off of Rhino. Devon broke loose and went after Rhino, whose wounds from No Surrender were opened up. Brother Ray ran down to play peace-maker and ordered TNA security out of the ring (when did he have any authority?). Ray talked about standing on the Frontline together just a few months ago, and asked why they are fighting each other? Ray said the people would rather see them fight together. Ray told Devon to shake Rhino’s hand because it was OVER. Rhino and Devon shook hand and Ray raised both their arms to celebrate. Suddenly Rhino bounced off the ropes and GOREd Brother Ray!

Lauren Brooke & Hernandez: Lauren asked Hernandez who his tag team partner was going to be tonight. Hernandez said he didn’t need a tag team partner, but Matt Morgan showed up and offered to be on Hernandez’s team against Kurt Angle & Eric Young.

Jeremy Borash & Mick Foley: Mick Foley was still whining about somebody destroying the photo of him and Jeremy Borash. Borash showed Foley their TNA trading card, and said he knows a guy that is selling them on the internet for $300. Borash added that he works here (implying that it was Don West). Foley suggested that the guy might be the person who destroyed their photos.

TNA World Heavyweight champion A.J. Styles + Sting: A.J. Styles said it’s been seven years and here he is TNA World CHAMPION! (Editor’s Note: I guess he doesn’t remember the first three World titles he won). Styles dedicated the title to the fans, and also dedicated it to the ICON, his mentor – STING! Styles asked Sting to come out and share his moment with him. Sting came out as Steve Bordon (no face paint) and said there is no need to share the spotlight with anybody because A.J. deserves it! Sting presented the “NEW World Heavyweight champion A.J. Styles” and exited the ring. A.J. stopped Sting and told him “I know what you did.” A.J. said Sting had the choice to pin Kurt Angle, but he chose to take out Matt Morgan and allowed A.J. to become champion. Sting said A.J. wrestled the match of his life at No Surrender and deserved the title. A.J. said Sting did something that noone does in this business (Editor’s Note: well, not since Samoa Joe did it a few months ago for Angle). A.J. said Sting passed the torch. A.J. said he would give Sting the chance to wrestle in front of his friends and family in California for the World title at Bound For Glory. Sting shook hands with Styles. A.J. Styles said if you want to be the best you got to beat the best, and Sting is MORE than the best, he’s an ICON! A.J. suggested they give the fans something they’ll never forget..

Sarita & Taylor Wilde defeated ODB & Tara: ODB brought her newly won TNA Knockout title to the ring with her. A few moments into the match, Awesome Kong walked to ringside and brawled with Tara. Sarita & Taylor finished off ODB to win the match. Tara ran back to the ring, but it was too late, and ODB confronted her. ODB and Tara exchanged words and butted breasts as they threw to commercial.

Jeremy Borash & Mick Foley & Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed: Mick Foley & Jeremy Borash were interrogating Jay Lethal w/Consequences Creed because he was selling the trading card online for $300. Lethal claimed his alibi was that he was getting it on with Liz (that’s a scary thought). Lethal got fed up and walked out with Creed. Borash said he thinks it was Alex Shelley.

TNA X-Division champion Samoa Joe defeated Homicide (submit) and Christopher Daniels: This match was meant to get the old Ring of Honor fanbase excited. Due to the Mafia-World Elite alliance, Joe and Homicide had a loose affiliation. Joe was about to pin Daniels, but Homicide stopped the referee’s count. Joe punched Homicide, but Homicide fired back with a Hangman Neckbreaker. Homicide yelled at Joe, who no-sold it and jumped up to his feet. Joe hit an overhead suplex and made Homicide choke out with the Rear Naked Choke..

Matt Morgan & Hernandez defeated Kurt Angle & Eric Young: Sheik Abdul Bashir (w/Kiyoshi) joined Mike Tenay & Taz on commentary for the match. The finish saw Matt Morgan go for a Carbon Footprint on Kurt Angle, but he moved and pulled Eric Young into the line of fire! Young got blasted, and Hernandez pinned him to win the match! After the match, the Sheik & Kiyoshi confronted Angle, saying “we had a deal!” – but Angle knocked them out with two weak punches (way to put up a fight guys). The three members of the British Invasion came down to confront Angle, but the presense of Booker T & Scott Steiner allowed Angle to walk away safely.. Editor’s Note: I feel like the World ELITE just got buried….

Jeremy Borash & Mick Foley & Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin: Mick Foley & Jeremy Borash were interrogating the Motor City Machine Guns about the destroyed portrait. The Guns said they were doing play-by-play at ringside that night, but suggested the check the video tape – reminding Foley that he got Kip James to install cameras a few weeks ago. :

NEXT WEEK: Traci Brooks vs. Christy Hemme in a Battle of the Playboy Models..

Lauren Brooke & HAMADA + Alissa Flash: Lauren prepared to interview HAMADA through an interpreter, but was immediately interrupted by Alissa Flash. Flash complained that TNA only interviews Knockout’s that come from other countries. Alissa wanted the company to change her name from “Future Legend” to “The Welcome Mat” and asked what she had to do to get an interview. HAMADA challenged Alissa to a match, and Alissa walked off. Lauren apologized to HAMADA, but Alissa returned and beat the crap out of her! Alissa tossed HAMADA down about ten rows of bleachers – that was a crazy stunt! Alissa was going crazy when she was dragged off by TNA security..

Kevin Nash & Daffney + Dr. Stevie: Kevin Nash was hitting on Daffney and she acted like she was going to “go down” on him, but she ended up elbow smashing him in the crotch! Dr. Stevie showed up and tasered Nash’s crotch and choked him out over stealing his $50,000 at No Surrender. So does this make Kevin Nash a babyface, now?

“The BOSS” Bobby Lashley defeated “Outlaw” Jethro Holliday by Submission:

Lauren Brooke & Abyss: Abyss was euphoric, talking about teaming up with Mick Foley tonight. Abyss said winning the Tag Team titles with Foley would be the best night in the history of his life!

The Main Event Mafia (Scott Steiner & Booker T) defeated Mick Foley & Abyss: Mick Foley came down and placed his barbed wire bat and a VHS tape on the announce table and asked Mike Tenay to keep an eye on it. Abyss started the match and fought hard against the Main Event Mafia. Foley tagged in and got all fired up, but then turned and took Abyss down with a DDT! The Mafia pinned Abyss to retain their TNA World Tag Team titles!!

Mick Foley & Abyss + Jeremy Borash: Mick Foley grabbed the VHS tape off the announce table and confronted Abyss, saying it was Abyss who broke into his office and destroyed the portrait of him and Jeremy Borash. Foley smashed the VHS tape over Abyss’ head and bloodied him up pretty bad! Foley also blamed Abyss for costing him the Legend’s title. Borash came down and tried to reason with Foley, saying Abyss had learned his lesson. Foley grabbed the barbed wire bat and bashed Abyss with it, before yelling “NOW he’s learned his lesson!” Abyss sat up with blood pouring out of his head screaming “WHY??????”