ON STAGE (MILLION DOLLAR MANIA) WWE Chairman Vince McMahon + $1,000,000 in CASH: Vince McMahon said he can’t believe he is going to give away a million dollars tonight – adding “I must be crazy!” Vince introduced the money as if it were a character on a TV show – and let’s face it it’s true! Vince revealed that tonight’s password is “WWE Universe,” so when he calls someone who signed up on WWE.com and they say the password then they will win. Vince said that after the first match he would be giving away $200,000 !!!!! This contest is only open to residents of the United States of America – screw you Vince! :)
GRUDGE MATCH Mr. Kennedy defeated Paul Burchill w/Katie Lea: After the match, Katie Lea slapped Mr. Kennedy across the face! Kennedy confronted her, only to get attacked from behind by Paul Burchill.
MILLION DOLLAR MANIA ($200,000 GIVE-AWAY) Vince McMahon: Vince McMahon called somebody, and then accidentally hung up on them because he had a screwy answering machine. Vince called the same guy again and showed a little patience and the guy “Daniel” from California gave the correct password and won $200,000 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NON (WOMEN’S) TITLE MATCH WWE Women’s champion Mickie James defeated Beth Phoenix: After the match, a frustrated Beth Phoenix attacked Mickie James from behind – however, Melina Perez showed up where some latin fire getting some revenge on Beth Phoenix!
MILLION DOLLAR MANIA ($75,000 GIVE-AWAY) Vince McMahon: Vince McMahon dialed another phone number and Justin Guy of Greenville, Tennessee answered and gave the correct password to win $75,000. Gezz Vince, I hope this is worth it!
BACKSTAGE WWE champion Triple H & John Cena: They had a confrontation to hype their match at Night of Champions. John Cena concluded by saying “I’ll see you later,” and Triple H added “Maybe sooner than you think!”
MILLION DOLLAR MANIA ($75,000 GIVE-AWAY) Vince McMahon & Charlie Haas (special guest) + Maria Kanellis + Mae Young: Vince McMahon introduced Charlie Haas and the crowd booed him mercifully – Vince remarked, “hold your applause please.” Vince dailed another phone number and screwed it up, so Vince said Charlie was bad luck. Vince dialed again and screwed it up, but tried again – third time’s a charm! The third time he got a busy signal. Gotta love live television. Vince said “whoever that is, sorry your grandmother just cost you a lot of money.” Vince called for another number and dialed, and it RANG! Donna Rose from Michigan answered and gave the correct password to win $50,000 !!! Vince said if Charlie Haas kissed a Diva then he would give Donna $100,000. Maria Kanellis came out and Charlie jumped at the chance to kiss her. Okay Vince you have to mess with Haas’ marriage for ratings? Vince said he would throw in another $25,000 if Haas kissed another Diva. Mae Young showed up and slobbered all over Charlie’s face – so Donna Rose won $150,000 !!!!
BACKSTAGE PROMO John Bradshaw Layfield: JBL said none of the fans deserve any money, but he is going to give John Cena exactly what he deserves.
SUPER GRUDGE MATCH John Cena defeated John Bradshaw Layfield: Triple H joined Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler on commentary for this match. Mid-way through the match, JBL fell out of the ring and had an unprovoked visual confrontation with Triple H. JBL continued the match with John Cena, but seemed preoccupied with Triple H throughout. JBL focused on Triple H too much, and ended up getting rolled up by John Cena! After the match, Triple H got up on the announce table with his belt and he was soon joined by John Cena. John Cena trash-talked Triple H. Triple H jumped down off the announce table, but then scooped Cena’s legs out from under him and then took off with his belt.
MILLION DOLLAR MANIA ($98,000 GIVE-AWAY) Vince McMahon & Lilian Garcia: Vince McMahon said Lilian Garcia‘s measurements were 38-24-36 – and the total of that is 98, so let’s give away $98,000. Vince dialed the number and screwed it up of course. Vince dialed again and Stephanie supplied the correct password to win $98,000 !!! Jerry Lawler asked, “that wasn’t his daughter, Stephanie, was it?”
IN THE RING (THE HIGHLIGHT REEL) Chris Jericho + Shawn Michaels: Chris Jericho said his guest tonight was a hero of his and has become somewhat of a mentor to him recently. Shawn Michaels limped out, selling injuries from his Stretcher match with Batista at One Night Stand. Jericho got on Michaels’ case about lieing to everybody about his knee injury. Michaels said he said he would do whatever it took to win the match, and technically only lied to Jericho. Jericho said the fans would rather boo an honest man and cheer for someone like Shawn Michaels. HBK! HBK! HBK! Jericho asked “How does Shawn Michaels turn into such a lieing cheating pathetic little worm of a human being?” Jericho suddenly, without warning, attacked Michaels and they had a long intense brawl until Jericho kicked Michaels between the legs! Jericho (officially heel) told Michaels “the worst is yet to come,” before ramming Michaels head-first into the Jeritron 3000 television screen! Somewhat reminiscent of Michaels throwing Marty Jannetty through the barber shop window fifteen years ago!
NON (WORLD TAG TEAM) TITLE MATCH Umaga & Gene Snitsky defeated World Tag Team champions Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes: Shocker. After the match, Ted DiBiase Jr. came out to the stage and pointed out that Rhodes and Holly aren’t on the same page. DiBiase Jr. suggested they get their act together fast because their time as champions is running out. DiBiase Jr. said in two weeks there will be new World Tag Team champions – “and that moment will be just like me…. SIMPLY PRICELESS!”
MILLION DOLLAR MANIA ($2 GIVE-AWAY) Vince McMahon & Trevor Murdoch & Jillian Hall: Vince said they would have WWE Idol with Trevor Murdoch and Jillian Hall. Murdoch started singing, “Take your Money, and Run!” and Jillian cut him off and started singing…. I have no idea what. Vince dialed the number and some woman named Sara from Texas on the line gave the correct password to win….. $2 !! Yes TWO DOLLARS! Poor Sara, email me, and I will double it and send you $4. I would love to hear from you to find out how WWE treated you!
MILLION DOLLAR MANIA ($200,000 GIVE-AWAY) Vince McMahon: Vince (what a cruel bastard) dialed another number and Joshua provided the correct password to win $200,000. Joshua blurted out the words “HOLY SHIT!” when Vince told him how much money he had won!
TAG TEAM MATCH Cryme Tyme (Shad Gaspard & JTG) defeated Santino Marella & Carlito Cool: What a shame.
MILLION DOLLAR MANIA ($51,998 GIVE-AWAY) Vince McMahon & Cryme Tyme: Vince McMahon dialed another phone number and the guy gave the password and won $51,998 !!! Money money, yeah yeah! Money money, yeah yeah! I hate Cryme Tyme.
NON (WWE HEAVYWEIGHT) TITLE MATCH Jeff Hardy defeated WWE champion Triple H by Countout: John Cena joined Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler on commentary, since Triple H joined commentary during Cena’s match earlier. Later in the match, Triple H hip-tossed Jeff Hardy over the announce table onto John Cena’s lap! Triple H threw Jeff Hardy in the ring, but John Cena pulled Triple H off the ring apron causing him to get counted out! Triple H got up and confronted John Cena, but Jeff Hardy leaped over the top rope and took out both champion AND challenger!
MILLION DOLLAR MANIA ($250,000 GIVE-AWAY) Vince McMahon: Vince McMahon thanked the fans in attendance, the fans watching on the USA Network, and the USA Network. Vince said he would give away another $1,000,000 next week and fans have to re-register on WWE.com – Vince dialed another phone number and the guy “Steve” gave the correct password to win $250,000 – aka a quarter of a million dollars!!!!!! Vince = Crazy.