WWE Monday Night RAW 03 23 2009

March 23, 2009 –
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler

DARK MATCH: WWE Women’s champion Melina Perez defeated Jillian Hall..

“The Nature Boy” Ric Flair + Chris Jericho: Ric Flair opened the show pumping up the crowd with sounds of woooooo!! Flair accepted Chris Jericho’s challenge to face Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat, and Jimmy Snuka at WrestleMania, adding that he (Flair) will be at ringside to watch the Legend’s shut Jericho up once and for all! Jericho’s voice came over the sound system talking about watching Flair, Piper, Steamboat, and Snuka 25 years ago. Jericho eventually showed up on the big screen saying he would show Flair exactly what he is signing up for. Jericho walked around backstage cutting a promo on Flair using refences to “the Wrestler” movie. Jericho made his way out to the ring to tell Flair that he was washed up. Jericho said he would beat Flair’s friends at WrestleMania. Jericho said Mickey Rourke will be there to watch the carnage that he caused. Jericho said Piper, Snuka, and Steamboat will be remembered by a whole new generation as a bunch of washed up legends. Flair said they refused to be told when it was over. Flair said they love to be respected for their accomplishments. Flair said they respect the people who have respected them. Flair said he will be so proud to stand by his Hall of Fame peers and friends when they beat Jericho. Flair said he was looking forward to standing in the middle of the ring at WrestleMania and inviting Mickey Rourke in the ring. Flair said 70,000 fans in Houston and millions around the world will go WOOOOOO! Jericho sucker-punched Flair down to the mat. Jericho started attacking Flair and ripping his suit off. We’re supposed to believe nobody in the locker room would run out and help Flair? Jericho bloodied Flair and placed him on the announce table. Jericho stole Flair’s shoes and threw them into the crowd. Jericho bashed Flair as Jerry “The King” Lawler begged him to stop! Jericho bashed Flair’s head into the ring steps. Jericho grabbed a TV camera and smashed Flair in the face with it! The fans chanted “you suck!” at Jericho as he stole Flair’s prized gold watch – which was given to him by Vince McMahon last year (they later said Shawn Michaels gave it to him, but I think Vince gave one to both Flair and Michaels). Jericho put it on the ring steps and smashed it into pieces with his foot! I still find it hard to believe nobody would come out and help Flair. Just doesn’t make sense.

Jeff Hardy defeated Dolph Ziggler: After the match, Jeff Hardy told his brother that what he just watched was not extreme, but what he will get at WrestleMania 25 WILL BE!

TAPED PROMO: John Cena was in California doing the Tonight Show so he did a pre-tape segment cause RAW wouldn’t be RAW without some Cena content. Cena read a raunchy poem about the Edge-Vickie-Big Show love triangle..

HIGHLIGHT REEL: WrestleMania 21..

C.M. Punk & Kofi Kingston & Montel Vontavious Porter & Christian defeated Shelton Benjamin & Fit Finlay & Kane & Mark Henry: After the match, Finlay brought a ladder into the ring and bashed everybody with it!

MOVIE TRAILER: 12 Rounds, starring John Cena..

Todd Grisham & Randy Orton: Randy Orton said HHH says he is a coward, but he’s not the one who attacks people in their own homes. Orton asked if a coward would put his hands on somebody elses wife like he did. Orton told HHH to remember who he is dealing with. Orton said after tonight nobody will be able to call him a coward.. Orton said the entire family brought this on themselves…

Edge vs. The Big Show ended in a No Contest: After Edge’s introduction, Vickie Guerrero came out in a wheel-chair pushed by Chavo Guerrero – selling injuries she suffered when she was speared by Edge on SmackDown!…. Before the match, John Cena came up on the big screen and said he wants to watch them beat the hell out of each other. Cena said both Edge and Big Show are impressive but they act like they need the love of Vickie Guerrero. Cena gave them a pep talk and told them to fight like men…. After a few minutes, Vickie Guerrero ordered Chavo to jump in the ring and cause a disqualification. Chavo was thrown out of the ring and Big Show knocked out Edge with one punch!

Rey Mysterio defeated William Regal w/Layla El: John Bradshaw Layfield came out and joined Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler on commentary. JBL called them “King” and “Queen” – haha! After the match, Mysterio knocked JBL off the ring apron!

The Undertaker + Shawn Michaels (on screen): The Undertaker said Shawn Michaels’ bold and brash behavior has taken their issue to a whole new level. Undertaker said Michaels’ obsession has impaired his ability to decifer between what is fantasy and what is reality. Undertaker said it was true he has never beaten Shawn Michaels in a one-on-one match, but reminded everybody that the last time they wrestled he spent five months at home in agonizing pain! Undertaker said when Shawn starts to question his own fate, just remember it was him who opened the gates to hell. Shawn Michaels’ music played and the Undertaker was very irritated. Shawn came up on the big screen standing in a cemetary and cut a promo on the Undertaker about staying one step ahead. Shawn said he wanted to breathe the air, and proclaimed that he was not intimidated by the Undertaker. Shawn talked about some of the victims from the Undertaker’s 16-0 WrestleMania winning streak. Each one was represented by a grave. There was a fresh grave set aside for him to bury the Undertaker’s streak after WrestleMania 25. The tombstone read “16-1” as Michaels proclaimed REST IN PEACE! The Undertaker was shown in the ring seething with fury, confusion, and possibly doubt?

Mickie James (w/Kelly Kelly & Melina Perez) defeated Santino Marella (w/Beth Phoenix & Rosa Mendes): Santino Marella hyped the “Miss WrestleMania” 25-Diva Battle Royal at WrestleMania 25! Santino whined about sexual discrimination, and got an opportunity to qualify for the match. Santino said if he beats Mickie with one hand tied behind his back then he was going to WrestleMania! After some brief comedy at Santino’s expense, he was pinned by Mickie with help from Melina & Kelly…. poor Santino belongs on the Mania card!

RINGSIDE SEGMENT: Jerry Lawler challenged Chris Jericho to a match next week!

WWE champion Triple H vs. Randy Orton & Ted DiBiase Jr. ended in a No Contest: Randy Orton & Ted DiBiase double-teamed Triple H briefly. H went to get his sledge-hammer, but Cody Rhodes popped out from under the ring and made it a 3-on-1 assault. All three members of Legacy hand-cuffed Triple H to the top rope and continued to destroy him! Randy Orton grabbed the microphone and said there was only one person who could save Triple H now. Orton grabbed a sledge-hammer from under the ring, and threatened to bash HHH’s head in. Stephanie McMahon ran down with a frantic look on her face (not winning any Oscars). Stephanie begged Orton to “please don’t do it, Randy!” Stephanie was looking hot in jeans and t-shirt though. Orton looked at Stephanie, and she realized she was surrounded by Legacy. Orton pulled Stephanie into the ring with her ankles on the second rope and drove her head-first into the mat! Triple H stood there hand-cuffed to the ropes unable to save his wife, who was literally inches away from him. Orton rolled Stephanie on her back and pushed her further away from Triple H. Orton threatened to pound Stephanie’s head with the sledge-hammer. Orton got down on his knees and started kissing Stephanie, sending HHH into a fit of rage. Orton crawled over so that his face with an inch out of HHH’s reach to taunt him. Both men got to their feet as HHH reached out but could not make contact with the man he hates with a passion. Orton held up the sledge-hammer and suddenly bashed HHH in the jaw with it!!! Orton then surveyed the damage he caused in the ring, before retreating with a demonic look of satisfaction on his face!