WWE Monday Night RAW 02 27 2012

WWE RAW – February 27, 2012 – Portland, Oregon
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler

C.M. Punk + Chris Jericho: C.M. Punk was introduced, but he was confronted by Chris Jericho before his match. Jericho said he never had to say he was the best, because the people said it for him. Jericho said he was one of a dying breed of performers that toured the world, learning skills, and becoming stars before they got to the WWE. Jericho said they were a breed of performers that were given nothing and took everything. Jericho said he got a chip on his shoulder because of it, but he didn`t give a damn because he was the best. Jericho said Punk did the same thing just because he was a Chris Jericho wannabe. Punk said he hasn`t stolen anything from Jericho; adding everything he has he fought for and earned. Punk said Jericho wasn`t the first wrestler to call himself the best, and reminded Jericho of Bret Hart – who used to say he was the Best there is the Best there was and the Best there ever will be. Jericho said he was at a whole different level than Punk has ever faced before. Jericho said for 22 years he has stayed on that level and faced every legend and every Hall of Fame performer. Jericho said he`s had dozens of championships, dozens of class matches, and dozens of steal-the-show WrestleMania matches. Jericho said he is the deserved best at everything he does! Punk said he watches Jericho and his body language screams infuriority. Punk asked who Jericho was trying to prove, implying that he is trying to prove it to himself. Punk said confidence in something he never lacked, and thought Jericho never lacked, until now. Punk said Jericho looks at him and sees someone who did all the same things as him and has now surpassed him. Punk said Jericho knows that he`s never been the man like he`s is the man now. Punk said Jericho says he is the best at what he does and he (Punk) says he is the best wrestler in the world. Punk said he was born this way and this is what he does. Punk said Jericho chooses to write books, do radio, and make music. Punk said while he was swimming with sharks, Jericho was dancing with stars! Jericho said when he was dancing with stars, all he thought of was Punk ripping him off. Jericho said he came back to the WWE for one reason, to embarass Punk on the biggest stage of them all and prove that he is the best in the world at what he does. Punk said he doesn`t need Chris Brown, and Jericho doesn`t need Mickey Rourke. Punk said the only thing they need is both of them in a ring to find out who the best in the world really is. Punk said it could be the greatest wrestl?ing match in history. Punk said after he wins, it won`t be the end of the world, it will just be the end of Jericho`s world.

WWE champion C.M. Punk vs. World Heavyweight champion Daniel Bryan w/AJ Lee ended in a No Contest: John Laurinaitis & David Otunga accompanied Daniel Bryan to the ring and JL joined in on commentary. Theodore Long & Santino Marella also came down and Long joined in on commentary. After a while, the insignificant goofs at ringside got involved and Daniel Bryan tried to leave with his belt. Sheamus ran down and shoved Bryan back in the ring to get GTS`d by Punk! John Laurinaitis got in the ring and called for the bell. JL and Long started shoving each other as their assistents tried to keep them apart. Punk went up to the ramp to gloat, but was attacked by Chris Jericho and slammed on the stage! Jericho put Punk in the Walls of Jericho on the stage and cranked it. Two referees came out and asked Jericho to please please pretty please break the hold.

Kelly Kelly defeated Nikki Bella:

John Cena + The Miz: John Cena was immediately interrupted by the Miz, who had something to get off his chest. The Miz said nobody has worked for the WWE as hard as him for the last year, but yet his name has yet to be called on for WrestleMania. Miz said he was going to prove to everybody that he IS WrestleMania-worthy by beating the man he beat in the main event of last year`s WrestleMania. Because I`m the Miz and I`m awesome.

John Cena defeated The Miz with an Attitude Adjustment and STF submission:

WWE Tag Team champions Epico & Primo w/Rosa defeated Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger w/Vickie Guerrero and Kofi Kingston & R-Truth to retain the WWE Tag Team titles: Kane came out after the match and destroyed Primo, Epico, Dolph Ziggler, and R-Truth.

John Laurinaitis & David Otunga + Theodore Long: Theodore Long came in and JL told him to GET OUT! Long said there was a rumor JL won`t be running RAW next week. JL said there was a rumor Long won`t be running SmackDown! cause he`ll be fired. Long said it wasn`t a rumor than JL is a horses ass!

Eve Torres: Eve invited the fans to judge her all they want, because she is a woman living in a man`s world. Eve said she tells men what they want to hear and they love it. Eve said there wasn`t a man in the world who wouldn`t love to be used by her. Eve said it wasn`t her fault that men fall in love with her and are so easily seduced by her. Eve said men crumble at her feet like little puppies begging for affection. Eve said you men should blame themselves for their weaknesses. Eve blew them a kiss.

Eve Torres & Kelly Kelly + Alicia Fox: Kelly was not impressed with Eve`s behavior lately. Kelly said they used to be best friends and now Eve ignores her. Eve laughed at Kelly, and walked off. Alicia showed up and was equally not impressed.

MOVIE TRAILER: Edge starring in Bending the Rules.

The Big Show & Sheamus defeated Mark Henry & Cody Rhodes: Cody Rhodes walked out on his partner because he was afraid of the Big Show.

The Rock + John Cena: The Rock milked the crowd reaction and said he was covered in goosebumps. “I wanna show you something, look at the screen, I want you to look at my arm, this is real. I’m covered in goosebumps because this, this, feels so damn good.” The crowd chanted BOOTS TO ASSES. “Oh, trust me, we’re going to get into some chants all night long, trust me. Okay, now this may come as a shock to a lot of people, especially some people in the back, but I’m not here every single week. I was here every single week for years and years, that was my job and I loved it. The Rock was born and created here in the WWE. and I also know that if it weren’t for the WWE and all of you, The Rock would never exist. When I came back and said I was back and I was never going away, I meant it. Now, did it mean that I was going to be back at every single RAW, every SmackDown!, no, that`s not what was meant, and its not what was ever expected. But if someone in the back, and you know who I`m talkin` to, wants to take that literally, then you go ahead and take it literally. Because you know, unlike you, and you know who I’m talking to, I respect the audiences’ intelligence because they know that I was born in this business, and they know that my heart and soul is in this business, and they also know that I am standing in the middle of this ring, live, for no other reason other than that I love the WWE. And I will always be apart of WWE, and the WWE will always be a part of me. John Cena, you know, for years I used to think that you were a phony. For years I thought there was no way that the guy who graduated from private school all of a sudden became the doctor of thuganomics – he was from the streets, from the hood. But then I realized John, you are not a phony, you are that guy. You’re that guy who came out here last week and ran me down even though I wasn’t even in the building. You’re the guy who came out with all that passion, all that anger, and you said you had to go through a wave of people just to get through to me, when the truth is, John, you have my cell phone number, and you’ve called me before on it. But the ironic thing is that I don’t wanna talk to you on a cell or in public. I see you back there, John, I saw you in catering, I see you eating. I don`t wanna talk to you, I’d much rather slap your lying face with a piece of kung-pao chicken. See, John, you’re not a phony. I don’t even think you’re a bad guy, but what you are is a KUNG PAO BITCH!” The crowd started chanting Kung Pao Bitch! “John, last week you said something that landed on me, and it resonated with me. You said that come April 1st, you were going to fight at WrestleMania for all the people in the back who loved to be a professional wrestler. Let me tell you something. I grew up in the business of professional wrestling, and I was always taught that there was no one that was ever going to fight for me. The only person who fights for you is you. That’s how we learned, that’s how we got better. No one fought for me. Do you think when I was climbing the ladder, clawing and scratching in the WWE, that someone was fighting for me? No. You think when I was coming out to these arenas as a good guy, as a babyface, just like you, and they would boo me unmercifully, just like you, that Stone Cold Steve Austin was fighting for me? No, hell no. You think someone was fighting for Triple H, or Mick Foley, or Randy Macho Man Savage? Do you think that anyone fought for Rowdy Roddy Piper? No, no no no no one had to fight for us, because we were men. But here`s the thing, John, you wanna fight for them in the back, that`s fine, as a matte of fact I prefer it. Because listen to me, John, while you fight for them, I fight for them (the fans).” The crowd chants ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY! “You hear them, John? I fight for the people, the same people who are so tired of having a kung-pao bitch shoved down their throat every single night. By the way, Portland, right now, trending worldwide? Kung-pao bitch. You see, John, listen to them, because they’re tired of you, they tell you every night…. but they’re not tired of being entertained. That’s where I come in, it`s what I do, I love to entertain, I live to entertain. Movie screen, it doesn`t matter, I love to entertain. You see, John, every time we get together, The Rock and the people, we innovate, we break new ground, we trail blaze. When The Rock came back and said you look like a big fat bowl of fruity pebbles, what happened, they started chanting fruity pebbles, and we find your monkey ass on the cover of a cereal box.” The crowd began chanting FRUITY PEBBLES. “When The Rock came back and said that he was going to stick my size 15 boot up your ladyparts, they started chanting ‘ladyparts’ and then trending worldwide, BOOM. You’re welcome, bitch. Hold on a second, we’ve got half the crowd chanting ‘Rocky’ and half the crowd chanting ‘ladyparts,’ which one do you want to chant? Okay, I’ll tell you what, on the count of three, we’ll chant ‘ladyparts’. 1-2-3….. Now we can chant ‘Rocky’, 1-2-3 and…… You see, John Cena, you’re back there right now, I want you to listen to them, what we do we have fun, we entertain, we innovate. What’s the most innovative thing that you’ve done this year? Oh yeah, you changed your jean shorts to camoflauge shorts. But here’s the thing, I`ll tell ya right now, that camoflauge is working, because we can’t find your balls whatsoever. By the way, we’re gonna make history again. ‘Cena’s missing balls’ trending worldwide.”

John Cena’s music hit at this point and Cena came out to respond. “Whoa whoa whoa whoa, this is too much fun, I was not gonna miss this! I mean, you actually referred to me as kung-pao chicken. Only The Rock could refer to me as kung-pao chicken, it’s genius, it`s absolutely brilliant, because every single chinese restaurant you go to it’s always there. It’s perfect, Rock, and this is perfect Rock. The Rock comes out and holds the millions in the palm of his hand like only the Rock can do, but I didn’t come out here to swing for the people’s strudel or whatever you’re calling your penis now-a-days. I’m came out here to tell you you’re right. I’m the guy who runs you down when you’re not here. And as usual, just like everything else, you’re only half right, because I’m the guy who runs you down when you are here. You see these people love The Rock, I was one of them, until I got to meet Dwayne Johnson. Dwayne Johnson is a self-centered, egotistical, see-through son of a bitch that wouldn’t give a rat’s ass if this company closed its doors tomorrow. And I`ll tell you something, I don`t need words like respect and loyalty to trend worldwide, just like I don’t need notes for my promo on my wrist. Yeah, nice tattoo. So here is the skinny, April 1st, when the millions, see John Cena vs. The Rock… John Cena is going to be eyeing up Dwayne Johnson. I don’t like Dwayne Johnson. You probably might make your boobs bounce, or arch your eyebrow into something that looks like the People’s Eyebrow, but I’m going to be looking into the eyes of Dwayne Johnson and I’m going to see a man who looks afraid. Because you’re going to be looking at a dude who may not have balls, but a dude who is going to beat the hell out of you at Wrestlemania. Carry on, continue trending.” Cena leaves.

Back to the Rock: “It’s like you John. It’s like you to come out, run your mouth, and then walk away before I slap the lips off your face. I tell you what, you come out here, you wanna confuse the world, you like The Rock, you don’t like Dwayne Johnson, you don’t like The Rock, you like Dwayne Johnson, let me tell you something, you’re back there listening right now, let me tell you this, The Rock and Dwayne Johnson, that is the same man. The exact same man, but the difference between me and you, you come out here and run your mouth about being tough, you’re not tough, and The Rock, Dwayne Johnson, The Great One, the most electrifying man in all of entertainment, it doesnt matter, the only thing that matters, what I’m going to do to you on the biggest stage of them all in the biggest match of all time, The Rock, all the names you wanna bring into it, Team Bring It Worldwide, we’re gonna kick your ass all over WrestleMania, if ya smell what the Rock is cookin’!”