Shannon: ECW (1/6) Extreme Examination!

HeadLocker — Jay Shannon

The ECW (1/6) Extreme Examination!

Our resident philosopher, Jay Shannon, runs down all the action and adventure of the Tuesday Night Delight, ECW.

ECW emanated from the Big Easy, New Orleans. The Main Event was Matt Hardy v Mark Henry.

Jack Swagger d Finlay

Jack took out Hornswoggle during the match by tossing the dwarf into the retaining wall. Finlay tripped out at the assault on his “son”. The distraction allowed Jack to grab a serious advantage. They fought inside and outside the ring. Jack tried for the Gut Wrench Powerbomb but Finlay countered it. Finlay went for a Jackknife pin for a two. Jack tried to launch Finlay with an Over-head Belly to Belly. Finlay countered with a Headbutt. Finlay clubbed away at Jack. Jack got knees up to stun Finlay. Jack Swagger surprised the Nawlins crowd by catching Finlay with the Gut Wrench Powerbomb.

Grade: A

Jay’s Thoughts: Jack really shined in this battle. Finlay was also allowed to look good in his losing effort. The attack on Hornswoggle provided the perfect out for Finlay. This was an almost perfectly booked match. Major kudos to to all involved in this opening match. Sadly, the rest of the show didn’t keep up the momentum that this battle started.

Teddy Long and Tiffany were talking. Jack Swagger came in and bragged about his winning streak. Teddy wouldn’t let Teddy speak. Teddy told Jack to “shut up a minute”. Teddy told Jack that he’d get his shot at the ECW title.

Katie Lea Burchill, looking awesome in neon blue, waited for her opponent. She got her wish when the former wedding planner, Alicia Fox, danced to the ring. She had Gabriel with her. Katie Lea had her “brother”, Paul.

Katie Lea Burchill d Alicia Fox

Karie Lea kicked away at Fox . fox came back with some hard Knife Edges and a Monkey Flip. Fox hit a Crossbody. Paul distracted Fox, which allowed Katie to get in a cheap shot. Katie rolled Fox in and tried for the pin. Fox rolled up Katie for a two. Fox hit a Step-up Dropkick. Fox hit a Standing Ax Kick. Katie sent Fox into the ropes. Katie finished off the Dance Dance Revolutionary with a Inverted Backbreaker and Roll up.

Grade: C+

Jay’s Thoughts: The ending of the match was seriously weak. Alicia is a great valet. She’s hot and sexy. She needs to stay on the outside. Katie Lea is another of those decent female wrestlers who is badly being misused. She joins Natalya and Victoria in the sad little club. This was just a fluff filler match

ECW came back with the Raw Rebound. It focused on the Raw Main Event. Randy Orton and Chris Jericho were hot that Shawn Michaels and JBL seemed to be in cahoots. They felt JBL should be removed from the Royal Rumble World title match and Shawn should be out of the Royal Rumble match. Stephanie made a match pitting Orton and Jericho against Shawn and John Cena. JBL asked Shawn to take out Cena and he would be financially set for life. The match teased Shawn eliminating Cena, but it never went down. Cena and Shawn won the match. JBL then said Shawn and Cena would square off, next Monday.

The crimson fog brought out The Boogeyman. He was set to face Brett Barnes. Boogey had his face painted similar to the old Al Jolson Blackface, with the addition of bright red ears. Boogey foamed at the mouth as the bell sounded.

The Boogeyman d Brett Barnes

Barnes got a couple of shots in but Boogey shook it off. Boogey smashed Barnes in the head. The youngster went to the ropes but Boogey yanked him to the middle of the ring. Boogey pitched Barnes into the corner at full speed. Boogey hit a Short-arm Clothesline. Boogey hit a Flying Clothesline/Splash in the corner. Boogey then put the poor victim out of his misery with the Pump Handle Powerslam.

Grade: C

Jay’s Thoughts:Boogeyman is such a throwback to the Carnival Days of the WWF. He is a talented guy lost behind a creepy character. There is just no way he can be taken seriously. Again, it was another filler match to put Boogey in the Goldberg Spot.

Boogey grabbed his canvas bag and pulled out a fist full of worms. He spat them into Barnes’ face. striker sounded as if he was going to lose his lunch when that was done.

Mark Henry and Matt Hardy walked backstage They were set to square off, next.

ECW came back with another video piece about the Mr. Kennedy movie. They promo’d it in much the same way that they did The Marine and The Condemned. I saw the DVD on Tuesday afternoon at the local Superstore. I thought about getting it…and then threw South Park, Season II, in my cart. I figure that the movie will end up next to See No Evil, The Condemned, The Marine and just about every other WWE film…in the $5 bin…within a few months.

Matt Hardy came out to a huge pop. The showed the run-in by Jack Swagger from last week. Mark Henry and Tony Atlas stomped from the back. Mark had a look of pure meanness on his face.

Matt Hardy d Mark Henry

Mark went after Matt with power moves. Matt tried to counter with speed. Mark tweaked his knee during the match and Matt focused on it. Matt chopped down the redwood-sized legs of The World’s Strongest Man. The end was quite predictable. Matt tried for the Twist of Fate but Mark shoved him off. Matt caught Mark with a Second Rope Bulldog. Matt tried, once again, for the Twist of Fate but Mark converted into a Front Drop Suplex. Mark missed the Big Splash. That allowed Matt to nail the Twist of Fate to take the win.

Grade: B

Jay’s Thoughts: Mark looked good until he hurt his leg. This gave Matt a chance to slip in and take over. The seemed to finalize the feud between the two. It is possible that Mark is getting ready to take some time off. Matt is heading to a feud with Jack Swagger.

Final Grade: B-

Jay’s Final Thoughts: ECW was actually backwardly booked. Swagger v Finlay was more of a main event than Mark v Matt. WWE really needs to reshuffle some of their people. Jack is about the brightest star that they have, right now. Ricky Ortiz has faded into oblivion. Braden Walker was a bad joke that left a bad taste in the fans’ mouths. D.J. Gabriel is still an unknown quality. The show is getting stale, again.

–Jay Shannon
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