Shannon: The (2/17) ECW Extreme Examination!

HeadLocker — Jay Shannon

The (2/17) ECW Extreme Examination!

Our resident philosopher, Jay Shannon, takes a look at the post-No Way Out edition of ECW

ECW opened with a look at last week’s arrival of Christian. Captain Charisma made fun of Jack Swagger’s pronounced lisp and then informed Swagger that he was there to take Swagger’s title. Swagger ended up fighting Christian, later in the night. The match was a back and forth contest that had so many nearly falls. Finlay nailed Swagger in the leg with the Shillelagh and then Christian caught the champ with the Unprettier.

The Boogeyman slithered his way through the crimson and gold smoke to face his next foe. Boogey had his canvas bag full of worms. His opponent was Paul Burchill. Paul had his sister, Katie Lea, at his side. Paul was forced into this match, thanks to Paul cutting a profanity-laden rant on a lighting tech during a photo shoot.

Paul Burchill d Boogeyman

The Finish:
Boogey was distracted by Katie Lea. Paul went off on Boogey with monstrous punches in the corner. Paul hit a Flying Knee shot into the chest of Boogey. Boogey came back with a big Clothesline and hit a Running Back Elbow in the corner. Boogey sent Paul to the other corner and hit a Splash. Boogey nailed a huge Powerslam on Boogey. Boogey turned to check on his worms and Paul snuck in with a Rollup to steal the win.

Grade: C (for Creepy Crawlers)
Jay’s Thoughts Once again, ECW kills the unbeaten streak of one of its stars. It’s the same thing they did to Ricky Ortiz, Jack Swagger, and just about everyone else that has walked through the doors in the last year or so. Burchill didn’t really elevate himself in this match. Boogey really didn’t fall all that far down the ladder. Neither are true threats to the ECW title. This was basically a filler match.

Boogey stalked Katie Lea as Paul escorted his sister away from ringside. Grisham and Striker talked about Swagger’s luck over the Irish. Hornswoggle became the key to the loss. Next week, Christian will face Jack Swagger for the ECW title.

The screeching guitar and Hendrixian vocals signaled the arrival of The Miz and John Morrison. John was set to wage war against the Hardcore Legend, Tommy Dreamer. Dreamer is in the worst slump of his career.

John Morrison d Tommy Dreamer

The Finish:
John rolled Tommy back in the ring and kicked at the ribs and back. John logged in a Twisted Shinu-Numaki. Tommy fought to his feet but John hit a Kneelift. Tommy reversed a Suplex. The Miz distracted Tommy but Tommy still managed to pay tribute to Class of 2009 Hall of Famer (and long-time friend), Terry Funk, with the Hangman’s Neckbreaker. Tommy hit a back body Drop and then Whipped John to the ropes. Tommy hit his Running Faceplant and then lifted Morrison onto his shoulders. Morrison went to the ropes but missed his Chuck (named for Chuck Norris) Kick. Tommy locked in the Inverted Pump Handle Back Suplex. Tommy went to the top rope but Morrison beat on him. Tommy pushed Morrison off the ropes and went for the Ax Bomber. Morrison kicked Tommy in the ribs and finished him off with the Moonlight Drive.

Grade: B+
Jay’s Thoughts: I’m really not thrilled with how they are working Tommy, right now. He’s lost the last 4 matches in a row. They really need to start building him up to face either Swagger, Christian or whoever is holding the ECW strap come June. If he happens to win the ECW strap without having some sort of win streak, it’s going to make him look even weaker than this losing streak make him look.

Miz returned to party with his partner. Tommy was so frustrated with himself. Finlay and Hornswoggle worked out in the back. Christian came in to talk to Finlay. Hornswoggle ran off. Christian was worried that Hornswoggle might be a distraction. Finlay told Christian to keep his end up and forget about Hornswoggle.

ECW ran a highlights video for No Way Out. I ordered the show for myself and several friends. This show was absolutely amazing.

ECW returned with a cool video package for Evan “Air” Bourne. Bourne is coming home to ECW. Glad to see the kid’s coming back soon.

Speaking of Kidds, Tyson Kidd (aka T.J. Wilson) walked to the ring with his main squeeze, Natalya. If you haven’t picked up the new Best of Saturday Night’s Main Event, it’s got a great segment where Natalya talks about her dad, Jim Neidhart. Kidd’s opponent was Caden Mathews.

Tyson Kidd d Caden Mathews

The Finish:

Caden got a luck Back Elbow in to stagger Kidd. That was almost the only offense that poor Caden could muster. Kidd laced his leg around Caden’s arm and then hit a variation on an Enziguri/Dropkick combo. Caden ended up in the ropes and Kidd nailed a Guillotine Leg Drop over the top rope. Kidd then hit his Springboard Savage Elbow onto the chest of the prone Caden Mathews to score the win.

Grade: B+
Jay’s Thoughts: I really like Tyson Kidd. Ok, he’s got a really goofy hair cut and had to have his name changed but he has a solid wrestling style. Plus, he’s got Natalya (who is one of the loveliest Divas in the WWE) at his side. Tyson really should be going after Shelton Benjamin or C.M. Punk for one of the secondary titles on Raw or Smackdown. I hate to see him get lost in the ECW mix.

ECW was back with another look at Wrestlemanias past. This time it was Wrestlemania XIV. they showed major highlights from the birth of the Attitude Era. It was the first time that Pete Rose got Tombstoned at a Wrestlemania. The main event saw Shawn Michaels fight “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. Mike Tyson was the special ref. Austin blocked Sweet Chin Music and hit the Stone Cold Stunner. Tyson then knocked out Shawn.

Tommy Dreamer sat in the back. Ricky Ortiz came in and tried to cheer up Tommy. Ortiz told Tommy to Rally Up! Ortiz showed respect to Tommy about Tommy’s past.

Grisham and Striker talked about an ECW Original going into the WWE Hall of Fame. Terry Funk was a cornerstone of the ECW. His brother, Dory, has helped train several fantastic stars. Both men held the NWA title (Dory-1969/Terry-1975). These are two of the most respected men in the world of wrestling. As a fellow Texan (transplanted to Nevada), I’m so happy to hear that the Funks are going into the Hall.

Mark Henry and Tony Atlas stomped down to the ring. the World’s Strongest Man was joined by the ECW Champ, Jack Swagger, in a battle against Christian and Finlay. ECW took a break before the faces arrived.

Before the match, the ECW Extreme Rewind focused on Christian v Jack Swagger. Finlay caused a distraction that allowed Christian to nail the Unprettier. Captain Charisma, now billed from Toronto, showed up for the battle. The Peeps signs were all over the place. Finlay came to the ring with his diminutive son, Hornswoggle.

Christian and Finlay d Mark Henry and Jack Swagger

The Finish:

Christian clocked Mark Henry on the fly. When Swagger went to Pearl Harbor Christian, he moved and Swagger popped his own partner in the jaw. Christian rolled up Swagger for a two. Christian used a Drop Toe Hold to send Swagger into the ropes. Christian then stepped up onto Swagger’s back. swagger caught Christian with a Rolling Bell to Belly Suplex. Christian came back with an Inverted DDT out of the Float Over from the Bodyslam. Christian went to the outside to climb the ropes. Mark Henry charged on the apron. Christian stepped around the post and Mark crashed into it. Tony Atlas grabbed Christian’s ankle and Captain Charisma had to kick free. Swagger pulled an Angle Corner Run to grab Christian for the Belly to Belly Superplex. Christian blocked the move and shoved Swagger back into the ring. Christian hit his version of the Benoit Diving Headbutt. Mark Henry made the save. Henry lifted up Christian but Hornswoggle ran in to distract Mark. Mark shoved Hornswoggle down. This angered Finlay, who popped Mark with the Shillelagh. Swagger knocked Finlay out of the ring. Swagger set for the Gut Wrench Powerbomb but Christian countered it into the Unprettier. Matt Striker said the move has been renamed the Killswitch. Count to 100, this puppy’s a done deal.

Grade: A
Jay’s Thoughts: I foresee a feud between Finlay and Christian. Jack Swagger is going to get lost in the middle of all of this. I’m expecting Swagger to drop the belt to Christian in next week’s match. Swagger could then end up in the Money in the Bank. Mark Henry just slides further down into oblivion. The match was really well done. It helped to make them all look strong. Christian is really getting the red carpet rolled out to him. That’s why I just think Christian is going to end up wearing the Platinum and Leather belt.

Christian and Finlay shook hands as Jack Swagger writhed in pain on the arena floor. ECW finished up with a promo for next week’s ECW title match between Jack Swagger and Christian.

–Jay Shannon
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