ECW Homecoming Examination

HeadLocker — Jay Shannon
ECW Homecoming Examination
Our resident philosopher takes a look at the highly-promoted Battle Royal and other matches on a special edition of ECW

After weeks of promotion, ECW presented the ECW Homecoming,. 8 superstars battled in an over-the-top-rope Battle Royal to determine the number one contender to the ECW title.

The show opened with an explanation of the multi-week tournament. The video featured all the men who had qualified for the Battle Royal.

Rosa Mendes came from the back. The skinny little Costa Rican danced around for a dead crowd. She then called out the man for ending Tommy Dreamer’s career…her am or…her papacito…Zack Ryder. Zack came out and rubbed noses with Rosa. Zack said it was a big night because he was know the “Heart and Soul of ECW”. Zack said he was above the ECW title.

The music of the Hurricane rang out. The “Emerald Guardian of ECW” came down to confront Zack. Hurricane called Zack “Citizen WooWoo”. Hurricane said he was sent from a galaxy far away to ask Zack to shut up. Hurricane called Zack the “rear end of ECW”. Zack wanted to know if Hurricane was serious. Rosa started blathering at Hurricane. He asked her to press “1” for English. She slapped him. Hurricane blasted Zack, knocking him out of the ring. ECW went to break.

Zack Ryder d Hurricane

The Finish:

Zack reversed an Irish Whip but ate a boot in the corner. Hurricane with a Missile Dropkick and a Thesz Press. Hurricane with a hard European Uppercut after being Irish Whipped to the corner. Hurricane with a Flying Clothesline. Hurricane went to the top rope but Zack caused him to fall. Zack took out Hurricane with the Zack Attack.

Grade: B+

Jay’s Thoughts: Zack continues to get pushed. I’m wondering if he is going to be the one to convert ECW over into the new organization that is being rumored to be coming in the spring. It would fit the whole Future Champions of Wrestling motiff.

C.M. Punk talked about his interesting opportunity to come back to ECW and win the ECW title, again. Punk said he wanted to win the ECW title to bring the Extreme Brand to an end and create his own “Straight Edge Society”.

Goldust came out for the next match. My wife was impressed with Goldy’s robe. I told I’d like it, if it were in Jade Green. Goldy faced Trent Barreta.

Trent Barreta d Goldust

The Finish:

Trent slid out of the ring and Clotheslined Goldust. Trent threw Goldust back in the ring and slapped on a Camel Clutch. Trent released the hold and dropped two Power drive Elbows into Goldy’s chest. Goldust began to fight back with punches and a Back Body Drop. Trent with an Irish whip. Goldust Power slammed Trent. Goldust with punches and two Clotheslines. Goldust came off the ropes with the Goldustin Uppercut. Goldust with another Inverted Atomic Drop. He followed that up with a Running Bulldog. Trent kicked out at two. Goldest went for the Director’s Cut but Trent flipped over. Trent Back Elbowed Goldust from the corner and hit a wicked Flying Knee to the jaw to knock Goldust out cold.

Grade: B+

Jay’s Thoughts: Barreta amd Croft are on the wrong show. They need to be somewhere that has a tag team division. I can only imagine that Barreta and Croft are being prepped for the new FCW, if that goes through.

In the back, William Regal and Ezekiel Jackson stood. William talked about Jackson’s abilities being biblical in proportion. Jackson started quoting scripture about how he was going to take out his opponents. Kane walked backstage. The Battle Royal was next.

Josh and Byron talked about Mike Tyson on Raw. Tyson tricked Chris Jericho into a battle against D-X. Tyson ended up knocking out Jericho.

The newly-engaged Tiffany strolled from the back. Congrats to her and Drew McIntyre on their upcoming nuptials. She introduced the ECW Homecoming Battle Royal. She brought out Christian to commentate on the match. he got a great pop from the Green Bay crowd. Christian brought some intelligent questions for the announce team to ask him. The combatants began to arrive for the battle. C.M. Punk came out first. Yoshi Tatsu was the next to arrive. EC took a break as the rest of the men came from the back.

Ezekiel Jackson v Yoshi Tatsu v Evan Borne v Kane v Matt Hardy v Shelton Benjamin v Vance Archer v C.M. Punk
ECW Homecoming Battle Royal

Archer and Shelton started fighting even before the match got started. Josh called Kane “a walking Doomsday”. Ironic, since one of Kane’s earliest characters was a masked man named Doomsday. Half the men jumped Kane as the bell sounded. Kane swatted them away and caught Evan coming off the top rope with the Goozle. He pitched Evan out of the ring in mere seconds.

Evan Bourne — Eliminated

Christian got cranky when Josh talked over him, calling the match. Kane tried to send Punk over the ropes but Punk held the middle ropes and kneed his way free. Vance tried to throw out Matt but Kane made the save. Jackson attacked Matt but got attacked by Yoshi. Shelton tossed Punk over the ropes but Punk landed on the apron. Matt tried, twice, to La Bandera Jackson over the ropes, with no luck. Vance attacked Punk. Shelton Shouldered Vance in the corner. Punk and Yoshi got into a kick-fest. Punk tried to Duplex Yoshi over the ropes and to the floor. Yoshi came back with kick and threw Punk over the top rope. Punk landed on the apron and oozed back into the ring. ECW took a break.

Kane was being double teamed as the show returned. Kane kicked at Matt. Jackson tossed Punk over the ropes. Punk made it back into the ring. Shelton tossed Vance over the ropes and onto the apron. Vance battled against both Matt Hardy and Shelton Benjamin. Shelton caught Vance with a variation of his Paydirt finisher, eliminating himself and Vance at the same moment.

Grade: A

Jay’s Thoughts: The reality didn’t quite match the hype. The match was very good but could have been better. The match time was decent but the eliminations were too clumped together. I’m honestly glad to see Jackson get the win. It’s time for some fresh faces in the title picture.

Regal joined his charge in the ring to taunt Christian. Ezekiel Jackson will now face Christian at Royal Rumble.

Final Grade: B+

Final Thoughts: A nice mix of matches and no Abraham Washington. Christian v Jackson should be a good opening match at the Royal Rumble. The entire roster deserves a run in the actual Rumble match. I think Shawn Micahels is going to win it, but that’s for another day.

Peace

— Jay Shannon
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(1/14/10)