IWS: A Birthday with Barbed Wire & Blood

A Birthday with Barbed Wire and Blood

What do you do when you gather to celebrate eight years of amazing memories of the best in Canadian hardcore wrestling? Well, if you are the International Wrestling Syndicate, you try and create eight year’s worth of memories in one night.

I do not know if we managed to cram a full eight years into one night, but we must have come awfully close. Body Count 2007 was a show that people will remember for a long, long, long time. It was a night when some old friends returned and some old friends said goodbye. It was a night of champions. It was a night of barbed wire and blood and boobies.

Body Count 2007

June 16th, 2007

Bogey’s World

Montreal, Quebec, CANADA

Attendance 287

Pictures of the show are here:

http://syndicatewrestling.com/images/iwsshows/matchsummaries/0706/index.html

WARNING – These photos are for MATURE Audiences. Not for the weak of stoumach.
I am fairly confident that the following has never happened to Val Venis:

http://syndicatewrestling.com/images/iwsshows/matchsummaries/0706/9/pic079.jpg

Not safe for work. Also, (OUCH!) painful to look at.

Yes, that is real barbed wire.

Yes, Sexxxy Eddy is crazy… but you knew that.

Yes, the Evil Ninja is EVIL~!

Results Quick and Dirty
Shayne Hawke vs. Jimmy K

Shayne Hawke won in 6:39 with the Tomahawk.
Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno & Stupefied) vs. SLI 2007 (Kenny the Bastard and Fred la Merveille)

The Super Smash Brothers beat SLI 2007 in 10:42 when Player Uno and Stupefied combined for a an elevated spike pile driver on Kenny the Bastard.
Twiggy vs. Shane Matthews

Twiggy beat Shane Matthews after 4:23 with a wheelbarrow converted into a victory roll.
The Destiny of Hi-5 Match – Bogey’s Steet Fight: Kid Kamikaze vs. Beef Wellington

Hi-5 must break up forever since Kid Kamikaze made Beef Wellington tap to the Kamikaze Klutch B after 12:19.
Mixed Tag Team Match: EXesS and Tomassino vs. ALF Champion Stefany Sinclair and Vanessa Kraven

EXesS was trapped in Stefany’s butterfly lock when Shayne Hawke ran in and hit Stefany in the head with a chair. EXesS quickly scored the easy pin on Stefany for the win at 14:27
IWS Canadian Title Match: Max Boyer vs. IWS Canadian Champion Dan Paysan

Max Boyer won in 11:47 to become the 7th IWS Canadian Champion.
Pierre-Carl Ouellet, Brick Crawford and IWS Number One Contender “Paranoid” Jake Matthews vs. Kevin Steen, PWG Champion El Generico and IWS Champion Viking Jake Matthews pinned Viking at 15:58 after giving him the Regal-plex through a table.
IWS Tag Team Title Match – No Ropes Barbed Wire Match: IWS Tag Team Champions The Hardcore Ninjaz vs. Scarred and Sexxxy (The Green Phantom and Sexxxy Eddy)

The Hardcore Ninjaz retained their titles with the help of a returning Arsenal. The Evil Ninja pinned Sexxxy Eddy at 18:04.
**************************************************

Detailed Results for IWS Body Count 2007
Before the show, Bloodstream Part One was played:

http://www.syndicatewrestling.com/media/bloodstreams/2007/bs07062


Body Count 2007 began with Shayne Hawke facing off against Jimmy K in only the K-Man’s second match in the IWS. Shayne Hawke was just back from a very successful tour with CHIKARA and the experience obviously helped improve both Hawke’s skill and his confidence. Despite a valiant attempt from the toilet skirt wearing foot stomping goth weirdo, Jimmy K, Shayne Hawke was able to pull out the win dodging a top rope move by Jimmy K and immediately nailing him with the Tomahawk for the win.

The downfall of Fred la Merveille has always been his inability to take anything seriously including himself and that doomed his relatively new team with Kenny the Bastard, the SLI 2007. Worsening the situation was the fact that Fred and Kenny were acting as individuals while Player Uno and Stupefied, the Super Smash Brothers, were acting as a team. Don’t get me wrong, Fred and Kenny had their moments in this very competitive match, but at this moment the Super Smash Brothers are simply a more advanced team than SLI 2007. The Super Smash Brothers won as a team isolating Kenny the Bastard and then planting him with a double team elevated spike pile driver for the win.

Mike Rotch, the IWS play-by-play man, would like me to inform the world that Stupefied’s new pants were inspired by Vega from Street Fighter 2.

After the match, Above Standards (Carl Choquette and Eric Lauze) came to the ring to celebrate an Anniversary. Not the IWS’ Eighth Anniversary, but Above Standards First Anniversary in the IWS. Choquette crowed triumphantly that no one expected them to last longer than one show, but here they were IWS veterans. Which makes them kind of like a rash that just will not go away. A Stupefied stage dive provided the antibiotic to get rid of Above Standards on this night.

Could someone, anyone, convince Carl Choquette to keep his clothes on? I don’t care if the man has DD breasts; I have no interest in seeing them, not even if he freakishly lactates.

To chants of “We Want Pornstar”, Twiggy came to the ring and called out the owner of the IWS, PCP Crazy F’N Manny, the man responsible for firing Twiggy’s former tag team partner in the Rock and Cock Express, Pornstar Juan. Summon the Devil and he will appear, except in this case he sent one of his henchmen, Shane Matthews. An impromptu match broke out after Twiggy called Shane “The Human Bobble-Head”. I have frequently mentioned that Twiggy has the arsenal, the passion and the brains of Dusty Rhodes; he just lacks the mass of Dusty Rhodes. On this day, it was Twiggy’s brain (and a cunning instinct for using his opponent’s mass against him) that gave Twiggy the win. After he survived Shane Matthews initial offensive onslaught, Twiggy converted a wheelbarrow into a victory roll for the pin.

After the match, a returning Jagged chased an incensed Shane Matthews from the ring with a chair. Taking the mike, Jagged made a brief, but heartfelt promo that ended with Jagged concluding, “Shane Matthews was RIGHT!” and following up that bomb with a clothes-line that damn near took Twiggy’s head off. The reunited 2.0 gave Twiggy their finisher The Sweet Taste of Professionalism and announced that at the IWS’ next show Summer Slaughter 2007 they would be challenging for the IWS Tag Team Championship against the team that survived the No Ropes Barbed Wire Match.

Two things to mention here: First, how cunning are 2.0 to lay in wait for the perfect opportunity to reform and claim a title shot. Wait until the Hardcore Ninjaz and the Green Phantom… and Sexxxy Eddy kill each other in a No Ropes Barbed Wire Match and then take your shot. Secondly, the theme of this show was apparently “Work Llakor” because Jagged has been feeding me anti-Shane Matthews propaganda since January, most recently describing to me, just last Thursday, in graphic detail how he torments Shane on indy wrestling road trips.

Throughout his career, the one wrestler that Beef Wellington has never had real success against is his best friend, Kid Kamikaze. With the fate of their team hanging in the balance, Beef brought in some unexpected help: former WCW star Buff Bagwell, or rather a life-size poster of Buff Bagwell taped to a table. Rather like a real-life Buff Bagwell match, he did not do much and proved completely unhelpful to his partner, as Kid Kamikaze drove Beef Wellington through Buff and the table, weakening Beef enough to force him to tap moments later to what Double K calls the Kamikaze Klutch B. Despite being unhappy with the result of the match (the Kid Kamikaze win breaks up Hi-5 forever) the fans at ring-side immediately concluded that this was the best match that Buff Bagwell has ever been involved with.

We knew going into Body Count 2007 that EXesS had recruited his protégé, the Hulking Tomassino to be his tag team partner against Association de Lutte Feminin Champion Stefany Sincliar. We did not know who Stefany’s partner would be until she cancelled out EXesS’s Hulk by bringing out her own Hulk, or rather She-Hulk, in Vanessa Kraven. EXesS’ matches have been well… excessively violent lately and it only raised the violence level to put a man with a hand the size of a frying pan against a woman with the reputation of hitting as hard as if she was using a frying pan to hit with – instead of her bare hands. With Tomassino neutralized, Stefany appeared poised to win trapping EXesS in a pretty (and pretty effective) butterfly hold… until Shayne Hawke hit the ring and hit Stefany in the back of the head with a chair. EXesS’ pin was a pure formality.

Three things to mention: One, Mike Rotch and I are totally opposed to the booby abuse displayed in this match. Two, Tomassino’s second story enziguri – still sick. Three, I had just about decided to stop calling “Le Maudit Roux” Shit-Hawke either “Le Maudit Roux”: or Shit-Hawke. I figured that after doing so well in CHIKARA that he had earned my respect. Well, he earned my disrespect right back again with one chair shot. Maudit de Callisse d’Asti de Roux.

At this point Beef came back out to announce, “I started in the IWS back in April 2002. In five years, I missed just one show. I have never given my school the commitment that I gave the IWS. I never gave any of my jobs that much effort. I never gave any of my relationships that much heart. I never gave anything what I gave to the IWS. I gave everything that I’ve got to this company… And I can’t do it anymore. I am taking some time off. You won’t see me for a while. I am just glad that I got to go out the way that I came in, wrestling my best friend Kid Kamikaze.”

Allow me just to say, that I knew this was coming for a long time and that for the good of the company Beef put this off when really he should have taken a break six months ago. There was a time when this company was falling apart. Manny was distracted; I was sick; a lot of guys were either retiring or taking time off for school or getting so many outside bookings that they were gone for half of our shows. When that happened, for more than a year, Beef literally did everyone’s job for them. If he had not stepped up, there might not be an IWS right now. I am sad to see him go, but he has earned his rest.

For those who care about these sorts of things… (Hi Mom!) At this point in the show, Kid Kamikaze came over and threw me off colour commentary so that “Someone who actually knew something about wrestling could take over.”

Max Boyer and Dan Paysan have had their confrontations before, but never with so much on the line, never with so much emotion and never in front of an IWS crowd. I have seen there other matches against one another and this was by far their best. In their previous meetings, Boyer had only ever been able to beat Dan in the States; Dan had always emerged victorious in Canada. At Body Count, Max finally got that particular monkey off his back, getting the win and becoming the new IWS Canadian Champion. The Canadian Title has been since its introduction at Extreme Dream 2005 our most competitive belt, its champions have always been fighting champions. I expect no less from Maxime Boyer. His first challenge may be his toughest however as former IWS Canadian Champion Kid Kamikaze used his power as IWS colour commentator to book himself as Max Boyer’s first opponent at Summer Slaughter 2007.
Before the huge six man tag, Bloodstream Part Two (minus the Twiggy promo) was played:

http://www.syndicatewrestling.com/media/bloodstreams/2007/bs07061

The Steen promo is AMAZING.


Throughout his career, Pierre-Carl Ouellet has been known as an ass-kicker – an innovative, agile, athletic ass-kicker – but still an ass-kicker. In the biggest six man tag match that the IWS has ever had, PCO directed traffic and used Jake Matthews and Brick Crawford and IWS Owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny as virtual puppets to lay waste to his opponents. It is a shame that so much ingenuity and so much strength has to be used for evil and not good. As for our heroes: Kevin Steen, El Generico and Viking? They fought with honour, they fought with courage and at times they fought with the upper hand, but the numbers told. Not just the three hundred or so pounds that they were giving up to the veteran heavyweights, but the additional numbers of D-Vyn and Lollipop and most of all of Manny at ringside. Ultimately, it was their presence that provided the distraction that gave Jake Matthews the chance to hit Viking with a regal-plex through a table for the pin and the win.

Jake Matthews is the first man to pin Viking in more than a year. He is the Number One Contender for Viking’s title. If he can duplicate that feat during Summer Slaughter 2007 he will become the new IWS Champion and will claim the new IWS title belt that Manny has had made, but refuses to put around Viking’s waist.

After Viking was pinned, Manny led a verbal and physical assault on Viking, Steen and El Generico. A returning Franky the Mobster came to the rescue, but he seemed to be a little bit too little, too late. Manny was crowing victory when the lights went out and the “God of War” Damian hit the ring sending Manny running for cover with his army.

To the biggest pop of the night, Damian announced that after a year of drinking beer and watching Japanese wrestling DVDs in his basement that he had missed hurting people alongside his best friend Viking. He told us (in French) that he was back to do what he does best: hurt people and that he and Viking were forming the Angry Quebeckers.

I have been so persistent in bugging, well begging, Damian to come back that he threatened to block me on MSN. It was a total and very welcome shock to hear his music hit.

While the IWS broom-boys covered two sides of the ring in barbed wire, Sexxxy Eddy came to the ring to do what he does best. Find a beautiful woman in the crowd (in this case one wearing a very naughty Catholic schoolgirl outfit) and get her to help him take all of his clothes off. In this case, we lucky fans had the pleasure of her taking most of her clothes off too, leading Eddy to do the Hogan call for cheers to see which side of the ring she should flash next. Truly, for eight years in the IWS, Eddy has been a GOD amongst men.
Eddy’s assistant is named Hottie Hollie from http://www.hottiehollie.com/

Kid Kamikaze left the commentary booth at this point, clearing my way to return to close out the show on colour commentary.


The No Ropes Barbed Wire Match was one of the nuttiest, most extreme matches that I have ever seen. Mike Rotch and I had already concluded that we had seen more Barbed Wire bumps than in any NRBW match that we had ever seen and that was before the Ninjaz threw Eddy into the barbed wire. And these were not casual bounces off the barbed wire; these were grown men being thrown, slammed and bombed deeply into the barbed wire. The Green Phantom entered the match looking to exact revenge for the Evil Ninja ripping his arm to shreds with a barbed wire chair… and to win back his IWS Tag Team Titles. Call it a split victory: the Phantom got more than his full share of revenge, but the tag team titles remained elusive.

Sadly, in matches like this, Eddy feels compelled to break out his special occasion trash can, to wriggle it over his head and to attempt the Stupid-Sault – a move with about as much chance of success as Ric Flair going to the top rope. In this case, Eddy never even got a chance to try it. The Ninjaz sensing their opportunity grabbed Eddy in the trashcan, flipped him upside-down and nonchalantly jumped off the apron with the trashcan allowing Eddy’s own weight to pile drive himself into the metal. No doubt Eddy’s ears were still ringing when the Arsenal hit the ring to distract the Green Phantom with Hardcore Ninja Number One as the Evil Ninja got the pin on Eddy to defend the titles.

The Arsenal, Derek Arsenault, is a distant cousin. (My Mom’s Mom was an Arsenault. One of her uncles moved to Cochrane Ontario. Someone else can do the genealogical math.) Point is we’re family and he didn’t even tell me that he was coming back. The return of Tomassino, of Franky the Mobster, of the Arsenal and especially of Damian is a huge influx of talent that is leaving fans buzzing.

I should probably also point out that old school IWS referees, P-Nut and one of the best refs in the indies, Bakais, made a special return for our Eighth Anniversary.

This concluded an enormously successful show that the Hardcore Soldiers of the IWS will be talking about for years.
Already scheduled for our next show Summer Slaughter 2007 July 14th are the following matches:

IWS Canadian Title Match: IWS Canadian Champion Max Boyer vs. Kid Kamikaze

IWS Tag Team Title Match: IWS Tag Team Champions The Hardcore Ninjaz vs. 2.0 (Jagged and Shane Matthews)

IWS Title Match: IWS Champion Viking vs. Number One Cantender “Paranoid” Jake Matthews
The dates that Kevin Steen has confirmed with the IWS:

July 14th, Summer Slaughter

August 18th, Hardcore Heat

September 29th, Blood, Sweat and Beers at the Medley

Plan Accordingly.
The IWS presents: Summer Slaughter 2007, Saturday, July 14th, 2007 at Bogey’s World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie Est (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 pm, show starts at 8:30 pm, tickets are $20 for VIP, $15 for Regular. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail [email protected] .

Our DVDs for each show are released through www.smartmarkvideo.com. Our most recent release is Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 featuring then NWA World Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage – http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/main/index.php?app=ccp0&ns=prodshow&ref=iwsdvd0054&sid=3kk04hkib65w02eal6b66a85q4734bui . Our best-selling DVD from last year is Un F’N Sanctioned 2006 featuring Sabu’s last match in the indies before his re-debut on Raw (two nights later) as well as the crazy hardcore Fans Bring the Weapons match – http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/main/index.php?app=ccp0&ns=prodshow&ref=iwsdvd0043