My Judgment Day Predictions

HeadLocker — Jay Shannon
My Judgment Day Predictions
Our resident philosopher, Jay Shannon, breaks out the crystal balls, tea leaves and lucky coin to try and predict the outcomes of the latest WWE Pay-per-view, Judgment Day.

Well, the WWE is ready to force feed the fans the monthly Pay Per View. This time, it’s Judgment Day. I’m not all that impressed with this show, but I’ll go through the matches and give my opinions and predictions.

C.M. Punk v Umaga

Backstory: Umaga returned from an extended time away from the ring to attack Punk. Punk was about to cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase, when the Samoan Bulldozer rushed in and took out the Straight Edger. Umaga has attacked Punk, several times, since. Punk’s Money Briefcase is not on the line in this one.

Prediction: Strangely enough, this is the toughest match for me to call. Punk has been on a major roll for over a year, now. He has won the Money in the Bank match, two years in a row. Umaga has been a mid-carder since being taken down by Bobby Lashley and John Cena. I think this is going to be the surprise match. This will be a set-up match for a later contest where Punk will put his Money briefcase on the line. I think Umaga will actually take out Punk in the surprise upset of the night.

Predicted Winner: Umaga
Predicted Grade: B-

Rey Mysterio v Chris Jericho
Intercontinental Championship Match

Backstory: Rey took the I-C title from JBL in one of the quickest matches in Wrestlemania history. Jericho has spent the last few months battling veterans to help cross-promote The Wrestler. Now that he’s been moved to Smackdown, Jericho wants Rey’s I-C gold.

Prediction: Jericho has had several high-profile wins in the last couple of months. He should be due for a loss. Rey has had a see-saw couple of months, beating JBL but losing to Mike Knox and Kane. Jericho’s over-confidence will be his downfall. This match won’t be quite as quick as the Wrestlemania battle but the outcome will be similar. Rey Rey nails the 6.1.9, Drops the Dime and keeps his title.

Predicted Winner: Rey Mysterio
Predicted Grade: A

Christian v Jack Swagger
ECW Championship Match

Backstory: Christian returned to the WWE after almost 4 years in TNA. He went to ECW and set his sights on Jack Swagger and the ECW title. After a few failed attempts, Christian scored the win at Backlash. Swagger has whined like a school girl with a pimple on prom night about being cheated out of the title. Swagger is determined to take back his title.

Predictions: I think Swagger just might take the title. The reason for the win is Tommy Dreamer. Tommy would get a better reaction if he took out the heel Swagger versus the face Christian. Also, having Tommy take the title opens the door for Vladimir Kozlov to step in and take the gold (well, platinum) from Tommy in a move that would garner him maximum heat. Sadly, Christian may get the short end of the stick in this whole deal.

Predicted Winner: Jack Swagger
Predicted Grade: B-

John Cena v Big Show

Backstory: Show attacked Cena at Backlash. He threw Cena into a 7,000 Watt Spotlight. That attack cost Cena his World title. Cena’s hurt but ticked off. Show is looking to work his way up into title contention. He wants to use Cena as a stepping stone.

Prediction: Cena’s scheduled to do another movie (God only knows why). He needs an excuse to disappear for awhile. I think Cena is going to play this one hurt. He was hobble to the ring and put up a decent-looking fight. Show will annihilate Cena and send him into injury limbo. Cena will show up shortly before Summerslam to challenge the WWE champ, likely Batista.

Predicted Winner: Big Show
Predicted Grade: B-

Edge v Jeff Hardy
World Heavyweight Championship Match

Backstory: Edge slipped into the Elimination Chamber match at Backlash and took the World title. Jeff won a Four Way Elimination match to earn the shot at Edge. Edge took Jeff’s WWE title, a few months back, after Matt Hardy turned on his brother, Jeff. Jeff has been looking to take the gold back from Edge, ever since.

Prediction: First of all, I’m not a fan of either of these two. I really could care less who wins this one. Jeff’s push has faded like a summer tan in January, so there would be no reason to give him the belt. C.M. Punk is waiting in the wings to take the title from Edge. If Smackdown had creative writers, Jeff would upset Edge for the belt. Punk would then make a heel turn and cash in the Money in the Bank contract to beat the wiped-out Jeff. Since they have the writers that they do, expect Edge to pull some shenanigans to keep his belt.

Predicted Winner: Edge
Predicted Grade: B-

Randy Orton v Batista
WWE Championship Match

Backstory: Orton took out Batista, several months back. Orton then went on a vendetta to destroy Triple H and the McMahon family. Batista has been enlisted as an “unofficial family member” to take out Orton.

Prediction: One word sums it up…disqualification. I’d bet my Pitbull, Molly, that Orton keeps the strap by a DQ decision. It’s going to happen one of two ways. 1. Batista snaps and refuses to listen to the ref. The ref calls for the bell and Orton keeps the belt. 2. Batista is poised to take the title, when Rhodes and DiBiase run in. They just aren’t going to put the strap on Batista, yet. He will eventually take the belt (either at Night of Champions or Great American Bash), setting up Batista v Cena II (probably at Summerslam).

Predicted Winner: Randy Orton (by DQ)
Predicted Grade: C

Final Grade: B-
Final Thoughts: This PPV just doesn’t do it for me. On paper, the battles should be fantastic. With the exception of the Rey v Jericho match, the card is going to be mediocre, at best. I might rent this turkey when it hits the DVD rack, but I just can’t force myself to pony up the green to order the PPV. I respect the stars for being able to perform but the writers are going to mess this one up, big time.

— Jay Shannon
[email protected]
(5/14/09)