No Surrender 2009 Predictions

HeadLocker — Jay Shannon
My No Surrender Predictions
Our resident philosopher goes through the mediocrity that looks to be No Surrender to find the winners and make a few suggestions about future storylines.

I’m left pretty cold by this year’s No Surrender card. The Knockout Tag Team titles are meaningless. Most of the feuds are rather boring. I will try my best to stay awake as I ponder this snoozefest.

Hernandez v Eric Young

Backstory: Eric set up the anti-American group known as the World Elite. They tried to recruit Hernandez to join their little group. He told them where to stick their offer. The World Elite then convinced Homicide to split with Hernandez, stab him in the back and join the group. Eric still wants SuperMex in his stable, but Hernandez isn’t going there.

Predictions: Eric said he wouldn’t fight his “brother”, Hernandez. Eric will likely bring all the flunkies with him to jump Hernandez. I can only imagine this match will set up Hernandez v Homicide in some kind of Street Fight match at Bound For Glory. This one’s never really going to get started.

Predicted Winner: No Contest
Predicted Grade: C

Abyss v Kevin Nash
$50,000 Bounty Match + Legends Championship Match

Backstory: Dr. Stevie (Richards) put a Bounty on the head of The Monster, Abyss. A few people have tried to collect but failed. Nash. who is always looking for a quick buck, offered to take out Abyss for the 50K. Nash even put his Legends title on the line to up the ante.

Prediction: I’m not sure where TNA is going with this one. I could see Abyss taking the Legends belt, only to have a jealous Foley come back and decide to feud with Abyss over the belt that he feels Abyss stole from him. If TNA has decent writers, that’s how it would go down. Since I’m not sure if Foley will be at the PPV, since he lost his dad, this week, I’m having a real hard time with this one. I’m going to go on the assumption that Foley will pass on the show. I can’t imagine Nash’s monster ego will let him job to The Monster. Since there wasn’t a No-Disqualification stipulation placed in the match, I expect Nash to get DQ’d in this one. Abyss will win but Nash keeps the silly red belt. Nash will then have a little issue with Dr. Stevie, who won’t pony up the 50 Grand.

Predicted Winner: Abyss (by DQ)
Predicted Grade: B- (for darn bloody)

“The Boss” Bobby Lashley v Rhino

Backstory: Rhino has been whining about being placed in lousy storylines and such. TNA responded by serving him up to Lashley on a (dented) silver platter.

Prediction: Can you say squash? I knew you could.

Obvious Winner: Bobby Lashley
Predicted Grade: C-

Taylor Wilde and Sarita v The Beautiful People
Finals of the Knockout Tag Team Championship Tournament

Backstory: TNA had the brillilant idea (slight sarcasm) to create a female tag team championship. They put together 16 women (well, actually 15, as Raisha Saeed and Alissa Flash are the same person) to battle it out. The Beautiful People used Madison Rayne to eliminate Christy Hemme and Tara. Wilde and Sarita took out Saeed and Kong. One slight hiccup in this whole scenario is…The Beautiful People lost Angelina Love, when she couldn’t get her work visa fixed.

Prediction: If Love returns, the Beautiful People will take the belts and annoy the Hell out of everyone in sight with them. If Madison Rayne has to sub for Love, then Wilde and Sarita will take them. I’ve searched every Internet source that I know of and there is no indication that Love will be at the PPV. Therefore, I think Sarita and Wilde will become the first (and hopefully last) Knockout Tag Team champions. Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne will go back to cat-fighting each other

Predicted Winners: Taylor Wilde and Sarita
Predicted Grade: B (as in…But does anyone really care?)

ODB v Cody Deaner
TNA Knockout Championship

Backstory: Cody joins ODB in a tag team match to face then-champion, Angelina Love, and Velvet Sky. The original stipulation was that if Cody or ODB pins one of the Beautiful People, ODB gets the strap. When Cody pinned Sky, he took the belt for his own. ODB’s ticked. The Knockouts are ticked. The fans are bored. (Didn’t Harvey Wippleman pull this same stunt in WWE, like 15 years ago?)

Prediction: ODB deserves her first run with the “knocked up” title. I send my wishes to the Fates that she will not only beat “Cooter” but send that yeah-who hillbilly back to Canada, Alabama or wherever the rock is that he slithered out from under.

Predicted Winner: ODB
Predicted Grade: DD (which ODB will drop on Cody at least a dozen times)

Samoa Joe v Daniels
X-Division Title Match

Backstory: Joe took the X-title from Homicide after joining the Main Event Mafia. Daniels felt stabbed in the back by Joe. Daniels is looking for revenge and the title.

Prediction: Daniels isn’t going home with the gold. The only question is whether Joe will beat him or will Joe get disqualified for the umpteenth time. Since the rest of this PPV looks to be written be amateurs, I’m going to go with Daniels is kicking the stuffing out of Joe, so Joe turns and clocks the ref, pullilng the DQ loss.

Predicted Winner: Daniels (by DQ)
Predicted Grade: B

Beer Money, Inc. v Team 3D v Scott Steiner/Booker T v British Invasion
Lethal Lockdown Steel Cage Match

Backstory: These four teams have formed the core of the current tag team scene in TNA.. The Brits have the IWGP tag belts, while Steiner and Booker carry the TNA World tag belts. This is going to be a tag team war inside the steel cage. It’s going to be structured much like the old War Games concept. The British Invasion have the Man-up advantage.

Prediction: This one’s very tough to call because there’s nothing but pride on the line. Neither set of titles are up for grabs. This is a “Roll the Dice” kinda of prediction. I’m thinking that TNA might be getting ready to turn the whole Main Event Mafia face, especially the United States Olympic hero, Kurt Angle. For that to happen, The British Invasion need to win this one, shafting Steiner and Booker to do it.

Predicted Winners: The British Invasion
Predicted Grade: A

A.J. Styles v Sting v Matt Morgan v Kurt Angle
TNA World title match

Backstory: Styles was ready to quit the business. Sting came out and verbally slapped some sense into A.J. On the other side, Morgan wanted to be in the Main Event Mafia. Kurt played him like a marionette, pulling the strings to make Morgan think he would become a member. Morgan is facing a major face turn, due to his battle with Kurt.

Prediction: Bound For Glory is next month. It is one of the top two shows of the year for TNA. I’m going to go out on a real limb with this one. Sting has gone after the title at the last few Bound For Glory shows. I think he will go after the belt in this year’s edition. That would leave him out as a choice for the title. Morgan and Kurt have issues that don’t require the belt. That leaves Styles. Styles has been doing the whole comeback thing since he was ready to walk away. Taking the title would be the perfect topper to the whole storyline. Styles could then offer Sting the first title shot, at Bound For Glory. Morgan will likely cost Kurt the strap, which will lead to a huge match between the two of them at Bound For Glory.

Predicted Winner: A.J. Styles (New Champion)
Predicted Grade: A

Final Grade: B

Final Thoughts: This show is going to be a Feast and Famine kind of show. Some matches are going to be good, others are going to stink up the arena. TNA is in a major state of flux, right now. This may be about the best that they have to offer. If TNA doesn’t get back on track, there may not be a No Surrender 2010.

–Jay Shannon
[email protected]
(9/19/09)