TNA IMPACT 07 03 2008


Location: Orlando, Florida (Universal Studios)
Date: July 3, 2008 (Taped: June 24)

A.J. Styles & Karen Angle + Team 3-D + Rhino: A.J. Styles said that if Kurt Angle wanted to declare war then he’s got it. A.J. said that Karen Angle shouldn’t have to come to work every week afraid, so Styles called Kurt Angle out to the ring. Team 3-D showed up instead and sa Kurt Angle was out scoring with some really hot chicks tonight. Brother Ray said Karen was the problem, and A.J. is a problem because he’s been sleeping with another man’s wife. A.J. Styles said he hasn’t forgotten what Team 3-D did to him and “payback’s are a BITCH!” Brother Ray called Karen a “whore” and Styles snapped and attacked Team 3-D but was quickly taken down. Team 3-D prepared to put Styles through a table, but Rhino made a surprise return to to save A.J. from the carnage. Rhino (on behalf of Styles & Christian Cage) challenged Team 3-D & Kurt Angle to a Full Metal Mayhem (TLC) match at Victory Road.

BLIND DATE #1 (Workout at the Gym)
Kurt Angle & Date #1: Kurt Angle met his first date at the gym, Tiffany, the “Human Medicine Ball.” Kurt Angle was not impressed with Team 3-D picking this one.

LAX (Homicide & Hernandez w/Salinas) & Hector Guerrero: Hector Guerrero talked about the LAX match against Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode & James Storm) at Victory Road, which will be a Fans Revenge Lumberjack Strap match.

The Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) defeated Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode & James Storm w/Jackie Moore): Before the match, Robert Roode cut a counter-promo on LAX and told Hector Guerrero to “shut up.” The Motor City Machine Guns are taking time out of the World X-Cup to face some regular competition in TNA. The Guns scored the upset victory, and Beer Money Inc. proved they were sore losers by hand-cuffing Sabin and Shelley to the corners and whipping them with leather straps! Roode and Storm whipped the referees, a couple of security guards, Don West & Mike Tenay, and finally whipped the living crap out of ring announcer David Penzer. Jim Cornette interrupted and ordered Roode & Storm to stop under threat of termination. Cornette said they were going to wrestle the two most ticked off wrestlers in the locker room later tonight!

BLIND DATE #2 (Dinner Date)
Kurt Angle & Date #2: Kurt Angle told his date that he was an Olympic Gold medalist and likes to manhandle men. Kurt went on and on about his wife and didn’t even notice that his date was a GUY until Jeremy Borash told him.

Moose (Mickie Knuckles) defeated Roxxi Laveaux: Quite a brutal match between two tough TNA Knockouts! Roxxi was bloodied by the end, which saw Moose pick up her second win in two weeks!

Jeremy Borash & Jim Cornette & Kevin Nash: Jim Cornette convinced Kevin Nash to team up with Samoa Joe in the main event against Robert Roode and James Storm. Nash told Cornette, “good luck telling Joe.”

Jeremy Borash & Jim Cornette & Samoa Joe: Samoa Joe refused to team up with Kevin Nash, saying he doesn’t trust him. Jim Cornette tried to convince Joe that Kevin Nash was good for Samoa Joe. Cornette said he had no choice but to force Joe into teaming with Kevin Nash tonight.

BLIND DATE #3 (Dinner Date)
Kurt Angle & Date #3: Kurt Angle was out with date #3, and he couldn’t stop talking about himself. This girl was actually half decent, but kept excusing herself from the table. Kurt yelled at the girl and accused her of throwing up all the food he bought. The girl said she had a medical condition and Kurt and Jeremy Borash made jokes and laughed at her until she stormed off. Kurt said he was going to kill Brother Ray next time he sees him!

Rey Bucanero w/Ultimo Guerrero (Team Mexico) defeated Alex Koslov w/Shawn Daivari (Team International): Team Mexico = 3 points | Team TNA = 1 point | Team Japan = 0 | Team International = 0 ..

Jeremy Borash & Kurt Angle: Kurt Angle says he has every right to kick Brother Ray’s ass tonight, and he thinks he will do it!

Kurt Angle & Team 3-D + Ivory Snow + Karen Angle + The Beautiful People: Kurt Angle said Brother Ray set him up on three bad blind dates and he wasn’t laughing. Kurt told Team 3-D to come out right now. Team 3-D came out and talked about the challenge issued to them from Rhino for Victory Road. Brother Ray said he picked up a hot girl and was going to use her himself but decided to give her to Kurt instead. A too-skinny blond sauntered out to the ring and Kurt Angle seemed extremely impressed. Brother Ray called her Ivory Snow, the “hottest rat on the block.” Oops, I fell asleep for a minute there. Kurt Angle yelled at the poor girl until she broke down and blurted out “screw you!” Kurt apologized and said he would never touch a woman, but he knew a couple people who would. The Beautiful People (Velvet Sky & Angelina Love) came out and bullied little Ivory Snow and gave her the paper bag treatment. Karen Angle trotted down to the ring and pulled Angelina by the hair and shoved Velvet down to the mat. Karen then went up to Kurt and slapped him accross the face. Team 3-D and the Beautiful People surrounded Karen until Gail Kim & ODB attacked the Beautiful People and Rhino took out Team 3-D.

Booker T & Jeremy Borash: This episode of TNA iMPACT is seriously putting me to sleep. Booker T continues to reprise his King Booker character without calling himself King Booker (which is copyrighted by WWE). Booker T said he has everything in the world, except the World Heavyweight championship.

Matt Morgan: Talking about being signed to a WWE contract and going to Ohio Valley Wrestling where he met his mentor, Jim Cornette. He also talked about being called up to SmackDown! a little too early and being saddled with a stuttering gimmick.

Milano Collection A.T. (Team Japan) defeated Curry Man (Team TNA): Milano Collection A.T. came out with his trademark invisible dog, and Curry Man electrified the crowd with his usual entrance.

Lauren & Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode & James Storm w/Jackie Moore):

(Shantelle) Taylor defeated Raesha Saed w/Amazing Kong: Taylor looked really hot in red, white, & blue. Taylor scored an impressive victory to earn a shot at Amazing Kong’s TNA Knockouts title next week!

Samoa Joe & Kevin Nash defeated Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode & James Storm w/Jackie Moore): Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash found some way to work together, but the body language after the match was not as convincing. Sting made a surprise appearance after the match as he was shown watching Nash and Joe from the rafters above the ring.