TNA IMPACT 08 07 2008


Location: Orlando, Florida (Universal Studios)
Date: August 7, 2008 (Taped: July 29)

Roxxi Laveaux defeated Jackie Moore: Tracy Brooks has been asking Jim Cornette to put her in a position of power over the entire Knockout’s division.

Lauren & Christian Cage & Rhino: Christian Cage said Team 3-D has another chance to end their career, and if they don’t get it done tonight they will have another chance at Hard Justice.

Jeremy Borash & So-Cal Val + Super Eric: Super Eric said that the case of the missing wedding ring has been solved. Eric told “Red” that the ring was with the one who abducted it. Eric said that it was the man she calls GURU – he is the real villain here. Super Eric said, if you find Sonjay, you will find your ring.

Sonjay Dutt defeated Curry Man: After the match, Sonjay Dutt low-blowed Curry Man. So-Cal Val confronted Sonjay about her stolen ring, but he denied everything and backed out of the ring. Shark Boy showed up and tossed Sonjay back into the ring. Super Eric showed up and slammed Sonjay and found the wedding ring inside of Sonjay’s tights. Val screamed at Sonjay, who quickly claimed innocence, telling a bogus story about how it was a message that she was ready to leave Jay Lethal. Sonjay said he was thrilled that Val got her ring back. Val foolishly forgave Sonjay and gave him a hug.

Lauren & Team 3-D (Brothers Ray & Devon) & Beer Money (Robert Roode & James Storm): Brother Ray said having an old fashioned wrestling match would be just like sleeping with Lauren – BORING! Brother Ray cut a promo about the eight man No-DQ match later.

Sheik Abdul Bashir: Sheik Abdul Bashir (formerly Shawn Daivari) cut an anti-American promo all about the oil crisis and sky rocketing gas prices. They should change their slogan to “one nation, under the dollar”..

“Black Machismo” Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed defeated The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin): Consequences Creed scored the pinfall over Alex Shelley to continue his hunt for the TNA X-Division title. Everybody shook hands after the match, except for Alex Shelley, who shoved Consequences Creed in the chest and stormed off.

Karen Angle & Frank Trigg: Karen Angle tried to do a serious interview, but Frank Trigg kept making heel comments about Karen cheating on Kurt Angle and insulting the kind of woman that Karen is. Trigg started to make advances towards Karen, and she resisted and called for security. A security guy (Bruno Sassi) tried to stop it, but Trigg punched him (for real) right in the nose! It was weird because Sassi fell over and then in the next shot Sassi was gone. Eventually Karen stormed off refusing to be harassed any longer.

Jeremy Borash & Kurt Angle: Kurt said that he was a “wrestler” and happened to be the best ever. Kurt said A.J. Styles wanted to go into a Last Man Standing match, so he is not responsible for what is going to happen to A.J. at Hard Justice.

Lauren & The Beautiful People (Angelina Love & Velvet Sky) & Awesome Kong w/Raesha Saed: The Beautiful People harassed Lauren and dismissed her from the interview area. Velvet is wearing one of the best shirts I’ve seen in a long time, which says “OMG WTF” — Angelina said that Awesome Kong is an ANIMAL who loves to eat Chinese (Gail Kim), pure white bread (Taylor Wilde), and obnoxious dirty biatches (ODB). I know, I know, Gail Kim isn’t Chinese!

Christian Chris & Rhino & LAX (Homicide & Hernandez) defeated Team 3-D (Brothers Ray & Devon) & Beer Money (Robert Roode & James Storm): After the match, Brother Ray took out all four guys with a Kendro stick. Robert Roode & James Storm gave Christian Cage the DUI (suplex/powerbomb combo). Devon and Johnny Devine brought a glass table out and set it up in the middle of the ring. Team 3-D wanted to put Rhino through the dangerous table, but Roode & Storm were quicker as they smashed Homicide through the table! Team 3-D seemed upset that their partner stole all the glory!

Taylor Wilde: Footage from Squared Circle Wrestling was used, as well as comments from Gail Kim, Tracy Brooks, ODB, Roxxi, and Bill Demott.

Awesome Kong (w/Raesha Saed & the Beautiful People) defeated Salinas: Mike Tenay announced that Homicide was taken to hospital after being put through the glass table earlier by Robert Roode & James Storm. Awesome Kong destroyed Salinas (with a smoking hot ass) in a less than a minute with an Awesome-bomb. After the match, Angelina Love said that was just a preview of what will happen to Taylor Wilde, Gail Kim, and ODB at Hard Justice. Angelina ordered Kong to “get her again!” and Kong gave Salinas an Implant-bomb! Velvet Sky then got a steel chair and laid it on the mat and ordered Kong to do another Awesome-bomb – yikes! Gail Kim, ODB, and Taylor Wilde hit the ring to make the save. Taylor was paired up with Kong, who set her up for an Awesome-bomb. Abyss came to the ring and confronted Awesome Kong but Raesha Saed stepped in and told Kong to leave the ring. Raesha Saed then slapped Abyss! Abyss picked up the chair and looked at Saed, who looked like a deer caught in the head-lights before slipping out of the ring. A security guard snatched the chair away from Abyss, so Abyss gave him a Black Hole Slam!

Jeremy Borash & Booker T & Sharmell: Booker T said he proved that Samoa Joe can’t beat him at Victory Road. Booker T said that he was THE TNA World Heavyweight champion (Although, technically he is just holding Joe’s belt). Borash asked if Sting was going to be at Hard Justice. Booker T said yes, he would be at Hard Justice, AND he will be here tonight in the IMPACT Zone.

Lauren & Samoa Joe: Lauren informed Samoa Joe that Sting would be there tonight. Joe asked why Sting hasn’t showed his face up until this point. Samoa Joe told Booker T, “the champ is coming for his belt, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Jeremy Borash & A.J. Styles: A.J. Styles took exception to Kurt Angle claiming he turned A.J. into a somebody. Styles said that Kurt Angle jumped on his band-wagon. Styles once again said that he has not slept with Karen Angle. Styles said at Hard Justice, at the end of the night, HE will be the LAST MAN STANDING.

A.J. Styles & Matt Morgan & B.G. James & Samoa Joe defeated Kurt Angle & Tomko & Kip James & Booker T: Kurt Angle (with a trash can) and A.J. Styles (with a ladder) started the match. Two minutes later, Matt Morgan (with a 2X4) and Tomko (with a chair) entered the match. Matt Morgan and Tomko went at it for a few seconds before Morgan chased Tomko out of the building. Two minutes later, BG James (with a chair) and Kip James (with a Dead End sign) entered the match and mostly brawled on the floor. Inside the ring, the ladder was being used by Styles & Angle – and something went terribly wrong when A.J. pushed the ladder into Kurt’s head and sliced him open so bad there was a puddle of blood within seconds! Samoa Joe (with a security baton) and Booker T (with Sting’s bat) entered the match next. Matt Morgan and Tomko fought back to the ring and Morgan eliminated Kip James. BG James was eliminated somewhere along the line. A.J. Styles eliminated Kurt Angle, then Booker T eliminated Styles. A severely bloody Kurt Angle put Styles in the Ankle-lock on the floor. Booker T & Tomko eliminated Matt Morgan. Samoa Joe eliminated Booker T. It came down to Samoa Joe vs. Tomko in a pinfall-submission rules match. Samoa Joe pinned Tomko after a Muscle-buster to win the match as the lone survivor. After the match, Samoa Joe said when he was done with Booker T…. Sting is next! The lights went out and Sting’s music played. Samoa Joe looked around and spotted Sting in the rafters.