TNA IMPACT 04 16 2009


Location: Orlando, Florida (Universal Studios)
Date: April 16, 2009 (Taped: March 30-31)

A.J. Styles + Jeff Jarrett + The Main Event Mafia (Kurt Angle & Kevin Nash & Scott Steiner & Booker T): A.J. talked about losing to Scott Steiner two weeks ago following a miscue by Jeff Jarrett. Styles said it was an honest mistake and it’s water under the bridge. Styles addressed the “rumors” concerning Jarrett (joining the Mafia) and wanted to make sure they were on the same page. Jarrett came out with his guitar in hand, and Styles said he just wanted to know if Jarrett would be on his wise inside Lethal Lockdown. Jarrett said he was insulted that A.J. would even ask that question. Jarrett said Styles was implying that he would turn on him, and that is what is wrong with the young wrestlers. Jarrett said A.J. had a lot of balls to question his authority three days before Lockdown. Styles apologized, and Jarrett said he didn’t want an apology. Jarrett said Styles would find out where his loyalty lies tonight when the forth member of Team Jarrett is revealed – and he is a former TNA “champion.” The Main Event Mafia came out and Kurt Angle said he wanted to be up front with Jarrett about something. Angle said Kevin Nash can’t wrestle tonight because the doctor will not clear him before the PPV. Angle “respectfully” asked Jarrett if he could replace Nash in the match tonight. Styles said it was bullcrap, and said if Nash can’t wrestle then they automatically get the man advantage. Angle said he didn’t know A.J. was in charge tonight. Jarrett said he appreciated the heads up on Kevin’s medical condition. Jarrett said he would allow Angle to take Nash’s place against the forth member of Team Jarrett. Don West pointed out that Jarrett didn’t even put up a fight!

Lauren Brooke & Sheik Abdul Bashir w/Kiyoshi & NO LIMIT: The Sheik said that Kiyoshi & NO LIMIT joined his cause because they were tired of playing the victims in this country (America). The Sheik said everybody will take them seriously after Lockdown..

Homicide (w/Hernandez) defeated Chris Sabin (w/Alex Shelley) and Yujiro (w/The Sheik & Kiyoshi & Naito):

PARKING LOT: Brother Runt (Spike Dudley) & Balls Mahoney showed up at the iMPACT Zone via taxi!

Jim Cornette & Lauren Brooke & Abyss + ODB & Cody Deaner: Abyss said he wanted to get his mind off his problems tonight, and Jim Cornette tried to explain to Abyss what Dr. Stevie is doing to him. ODB (w/Cody Deaner) barged in and complained about not having a match on iMPACT in a couple weeks. Didn’t Cornette hired Tracy Brooks to handle the Knockouts so he didn’t have to. Cornette told Abyss to find a girl, and ODB to find a guy, so they can have a mixed tag team match. Cody Deaner wanted to be ODB’s partner, but ODB asked him why he was still hanging around as he was only supposed to get ONE NIGHT with ODB. Deaner said he knows ODB is into him, and Cornette told them to get a room..

Mike Tenay & Jeff Jarrett: Jeff Jarrett said Mick Foley was a 20+ year friend and he went on to go to heights nobody else has ever been. Tenay talked about Jarrett & Foley trying to pull Sting away from the Mafia until Foley ruined it by smashing Sting with a steel chair. Tenay plugged the Jeff Jarrett DVD, which includes a match 20 years ago against Cactus Jack. Tenay said he noticed when Scott Steiner talked to him, that Jarrett listens very closely. Jarrett said he goes back 20 years with Steiner, and that he was close with his wife and daughters. Jarrett said his friendship with Steiner has been driven apart by business, but he has realized in the last few weeks that he has to take care of himself..

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is the part of the show where TNA needs to jump right into another match, and NOT go to another useless repetitive backstage segment. Alas, the company with so much potential, and so little brains, cuts to yet another repetitive backstage segement with the Main Event Mafia (starring Kurt Angle).

Jeremy Borash & The Main Event Mafia (Kurt Angle & Scott Steiner & Kevin Nash w/Jenna Morasca): Kurt Angle said he didn’t matter who the forth member of Team Jarrett was, he was still guaranteeing victory tonight!

Awesome Kong & Raisha Saed & Taylor Wilde defeated Angelina Love & Velvet Sky & Madison Rayne: After the match, Awesome Kong threatened to cut the hair of Angelina Love, but Velvet Sky & Marison Rayne came to her resue. They destroyed Raisha and Taylor Wilde separately and triple teamed Kong. Kong mounted a come-back until Angelina sprayed her eyes with something! Angelina knocked a blinded Kong out with the Knockout’s belt! Angelina proceeded to snip off large clumps of Kong’s braided hair! Wow, those took YEARS to grow!

BACKSTAGE: Awesome Kong threw a fit..

ROUGH CUT: Team 3-D in New Japan Pro Wrestling..

Lauren Brooke & Team 3-D (Brothers Ray & Devon) + Brother Runt + Balls Mahoney: Lauren Brooke called Team 3-D’s match with Beer Money Inc. at Lockdown a match for “World Domination.” Brother Runt walked in and said he wanted to stop by to say how proud he was of his brothers. Runt said he brought a surprise, and in walked Balls Mahoney. Balls talked about them revolutionizing the business together in Philadelphia. Balls talked about family (Raven etc.) and wished Team 3-D the best of luck at Lockdown…

Abyss & Daffney defeated ODB & Cody Deaner: After the match, Matt Morgan attacked Abyss from behind and flattened him with a Carbon Footprint..

Jeremy Borash & Scott Steiner: Jeremy Borash asked Scott Steiner about his deep personal conversations with Jeff Jarrett. Steiner said it was personal and it will stay personal. Steiner said Jeff’s actions by the end of the night will do all the talking..

Mick Foley + TNA World Heavyweight champion Sting: Mick Foley came to the ring and sat down in a chair, which was set up next to another empty chair. The premise here was that Foley would interview his own alter ego, Cactus Jack. Foley snapped back and forth between himself and Cactus Jack like someone with multiple personality. Cactus said that Mick had no guts and no spine. Cactus made repeated insults at Mick Foley’s expense. Cactus said Mick lost the desire long ago, and was sick of Mick cashing checks from writing books about his life and living off the reputation that he formed. Cactus said he didn’t want Mick around when he vanquishes his greatest rival. Foley started to punch himself in the face, one personality trying to shut the other one up. TNA World Heavyweight champion Sting showed up and said Mick was turning a 20-year friendship into an out of control three ring circus. Sting said the scary thing is he believes that Mick believes in what he just did. Sting said he was not intimidated, but Mick just sat there grinning. Mick said that was the Sting he wanted to see. Mick (as Cactus Jack) said Sting was never intimidated by him. Mick said there was one time years ago in Philadelphia the first time he heard a small Cactus chant. Mick predicted that 7 or 8000 fans will be chanting his name at Lockdown. The Main Event Mafia music played, but then Mick (Cactus Jack) attacked Sting from behind! Mick said that the Mafia was not coming to help. Mick said he can play any music he wants because he runs this place! Mick asked for Curry Man’s music to be played while he dropped elbows on Sting. Mick called for Shark Boy’s music and then called for Sting’s music as he made his exit from the six sided ring. Foley found a barbed wire bat under the ring and told Sting he runs this place and he can do whatever the hell he wants! Foley said at Lockdown, he wants to tear Sting apart! Have a nice day!

Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode & James Storm) and Balls Mahoney & Brother Runt + Team 3-D (Brothers Ray & Devon): Cameras found Beer Money Inc. attacking Team 3-D buddies Brother Runt & Balls Mahoney backstage.. the fight ended up inside the six-sided ring where Balls was destroyed and bloodied by a chairshot from Roode. They set up Runt in the tree of woe so that Storm could level him with a vicious chairshot! Roode smashed the bloody balls once more with the chair to knock him out. Storm punched the bloody Runt and DDT’d him on a steel chair! Roode pulled out a table as Storm cracked Runt with another chairshot! Beer Money then gave Runt the 3-D Bomb though the table in the ring! Roode lifted Balls up for one more chairshot but Team 3-D hit the ring and chased them off before further damage could be inflicted..

Team 3-D (Brothers Ray & Devon): As EMT’s checked on Brother Runt & Balls Mahoney, Brother Ray asked Beer Money why they would treat their family like that. Roode shouted “BECAUSE WE CAN!” Team 3-D said that their match at Lockdown would also be a Philadelphia Street Fight..

Lauren Brooke & A.J. Styles: A.J. Styles said he doesn’t know what’s going through Jeff Jarrett’s mind; sometimes it feels like he’s with us, sometimes it feels like he isn’t. Styles said he knows Jarrett built TNA on integrity, and tonight that same integrity is going to show..

Christopher Daniels (representing Team Jarrett) defeated Kurt Angle (representing Team Angle) – decision later reversed (see notes): Jeff Jarrett came out to introduce the forth member of Team Jarrett. Jarrett said this decision was for A.J. Styles and Samoa Joe, but most importantly for the TNA fans. Jarrett welcomed back “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels! A.J. Styles was watching on a monitor backstage, and was elated when his friend was named by Jarrett. After a really great match, Christopher Daniels pinned Kurt Angle to the mat, but Daniels’ shoulders were also on the mat. A.J. Styles ran down and hugged Daniels to celebrate! Angle took a fit and attacked the referee. Jim Cornette came out and teased that he would reverse the decision but then called Angle the LOSER! Angle demanded that Jeff Jarrett come to the ring right now!

The Main Event Mafia (Kurt Angle & Booker T & Kevin Nash & Scott Steiner) + Jeff Jarrett + Daniels/Styles + Samoa Joe: Kurt Angle was joined by fellow Mafia members and continued to demand that Jeff Jarrett come to the ring and justify this. Jarrett said he was in the production truck and watched the tape several times. Jarrett showed the tape, and claimed that Daniels “initiated” the pin (since when does that matter). Jarrett said sometimes he has to make diffult decisions, and proclaimed that Kurt Angle was the winner of the match! Angle hugged Jarrett, as Jarrett resisted. Daniels & Styles were pissed at Jarrett, and Samoa Joe also showed up to confront Jarrett.