TNA IMPACT 07 16 2009


Location: Orlando, Florida (Universal Studios)
Date: July 16, 2009 (Taped: June 23-24-25)

Mick Foley + Kurt Angle + Sting: Mick Foley said he feels naked without the TNA championship on his shoulder, so he will do his best on Sunday to put it back on his shoulder. Foley said the direction of TNA depends on who wins the main event at Victory Road. Foley called out Angle to face him man-to-man. Foley said it hurt when the Mafia made fun of him for shedding tears when he lost the TNA title. Foley said he knew the Mafia could have torn him to shreds last week but they chose not to. Foley said he did not submit last week, and remembered when Terry Funk made him say I QUIT in Japan. Foley said he would have to be at his best to beat Kurt Angle this Sunday. Foley asked Angle to keep the Mafia out of their match and keep it one-on-one. Angle talked about the young wrestlers being spoiled and getting paid too much. Angle said they were changing their world, a world they are trying so hard to preserve. Angle said it wasn’t just about money, they were trying to help Foley AND Jarrett. Sting came out and said it was a bunch of BULL. Sting said the Mafia stands for money, greed, and a bunch of back-stabbing! Sting said they would find out who has the power to run TNA. Sting asked Foley to book him against Angle tonight one last time. Before Foley could respond, Angle said “Mick Foley says YES!” and Angle tweeked the match and made it a six-sides-of-steel match!

BACKSTAGE: Samoa Joe was shown assaulting Amazing Red!

Amazing Red defeated Samoa Joe by DQ: Samoa Joe beat up Amazing Red all the way to the ring, where the bell rang and the match began. Joe immediately shoved the referee and got himself disqualified. Joe planted Red with a Muscle-buster anyway!

Lauren Brooke & Sarita: Sarita said she has been preparing for TNA by wrestling all over the world so she can be at her best. Sarita said she’s never wrestled Alyssa Flash (aka Cheerleader Melissa), but she always prepares with the same intensity. Sarita said something in Spanish to her Spanish-speaking friends. Sarita is Sarah Stock from CANADA (not Mexico OR Spain). Why can’t wrestlers just be THEMSELVES?

Don West & Sharmell (w/Sojourner Bolt) & Jenna Morasca (w/Raisha Saed & Amazing Kong): Don West called Sharmell the instigator. Sharmell and Jenna exchanged insults for several minutes to hype their catfight at Victory Road. After a while, Sojourner Bolt and Raisha Saed stood up and yelled at each other until Don West got between them! I wasn’t sure about it before, but now I’m definitely buying this PPV! (sarcasm)

Jeremy Borash & Kurt Angle: Jeremy Borash said he doesn’t understand why Angle agreed to a match with Sting three days before Victory Road and then requested that it take place inside six sides of steel. Angle said he wanted to prove to TNA that he is the REAL ICON – not STING. Angle said what Mick said was true, the future of TNA relies on what happens at Victory Road. Angle said for the Mafia to take over TNA they need to win every title, and he’s confident that they will do that. Angle said by this time next week, even JB will be calling him “boss.”

TNA X-Division champion SUICIDE defeated Chris Sabin w/Alex Shelley: After the match, Alex Shelley attacked SUICIDE and Chris Sabin gave him a spring-board leg-drop onto a chair – but then Homicide made the save. Homicide looked at the unconcious SUICIDE and then looked at his Feast of Fired Briefcase (which contains an X-Division title shot). Homicide gave the briefcase to the referee and cashed in his title shot!

Homicide defeated SUICIDE to win the TNA X-Division title: Homicide went for a quick pin but SUICIDE kicked out. Homicide then hit SUICIDE with a Gringo-killa (Verti-breaker) and pinned him to win the TNA X-Division title!!

Lauren Brooke & Homicide: Homicide said he was going to party and invited Lauren to go do some tequilas with him!

The Beautiful People (Angelina Love & Velvet Sky & Madison Rayne) + Tara: Angelina was wearing a bee-keepers suit to protect herself from Tara’s tarantula. Angelina said she has filed a formal complaint with PETER (she meant PETA) against Tara and her tarantula. Angelina said Tara was a big ugly freak show and there was no room for her in TNA. Angelina said the Beautiful People do not recognize Tara’s victory last week because it was a fluke! Angelina said the match wasn’t official and no contract signed, so she was still the TNA Knockout champion. Angelina said she will make it official once again at Victory Road. Tara came out wearing the Knockout title and said she would confirm it this Sunday. Tara said that Poison (the tarantula) took a nap in Angelina’s bee-keeper suit today and she was still there. Angelina started freaking out in the ring and Tara walked down and gave her the Widow’s peak!

Sarita defeated “The Future Legend” Alyssa Flash: It’s going to take some time to get used to Alyssa Flash without her cheerleader gear. Sarita’s debut has been hyped for weeks, and Alyssa set out to spoil it! After the match, Alyssa got the last word in with a slam in the middle of the ring!

Lauren Brooke & A.J. Styles: A.J. Styles talked about Joe turning on TNA at Slammiversary, teaming with Beer Money tonight, and facing Kevin Nash at Victory Road.

The Main Event Mafia (Kevin Nash -w/Jenna Morasca- & Scott Steiner & Booker T -w/Sharmell-) defeated A.J. Styles & Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode & James Storm): Sharmell and Jenna argued with each other at ringside. Kevin Nash eliminated A.J. Styles after a power-bomb. Scott Steiner eliminated James Storm. Robert Roode eliminated Kevin Nash. James Storm tried to get back in the ring but Matt Morgan stopped him! Booker T eliminated Robert Roode. Booker T & Scott Steiner survive! After the match, Sharmell and Jenna started shoving each other and stole the spotlight..

Jeremy Borash & Team 3-D (Brothers Ray & Devon) + The British Invasion (Brutus Magnus & Doug Williams & Rob Terry): Team 3-D cut a promo on the British Invasion.. eventually the British Invasion showed up and said they signed a contract to face Team 3-D at Victory Road at 3-D’s IWGP Tag Team titles will be on the line!

Abyss & Lauren Brooke: Abyss talked about his feud with Dr. Stevie and called Lauren the “best girlfriend ever.” Abyss said he was a pissed off 350 pound monster. Abyss said Dr. Stevie taught him to control his lust for pain, but he failed miserably. Abyss said he liked pain and began sticking himself with thumb tacks as Lauren freaked out. Abyss said he doesn’t need Dr. Stevie any more.. Abyss said he wrote a presciption for Dr. Stevie – one major ass beating with no refills (yikes).

Kurt Angle vs. Sting ended in a No Contest: Jeff Jarrett joined Mike Tenay & Don West on commentary to watch the six sides of steel match. Late in the match, Samoa Joe showed up and knocked out Jeff Jarrett! Joe attacked the outside referee and stole the key to the cage! Joe unlocked the door, entered the cage, and then locked it from the inside! Sting saw Joe and attacked him – then put Joe in the Scorpion Deathlock! The lights went out and an “FTW” symbol came on the big screen (signifying TAZ). Suddenly Joe reversed the hold and he had Sting in the Rear Naked Choke. Jeff Jarrett & Mick Foley tried to get in the cage but Kevin Nash, Booker T, and Scott Steiner stopped them! Meanwhile, Sting lost conciousness in the ring as the show went off the air!