TNA IMPACT 09 17 2009


Location: Orlando, Florida (Universal Studios)
Date: September 17, 2009 (Taped: September 1 & 2)

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Mick Foley arrived at the iMPACT Zone with his two sons, and elsewhere Kevin Nash also arrived at the iMPACT Zone by himself..

RINGSIDE SEGMENT: The show opened with the Motor City Machine Guns taking a seat at their personal commentary position, and Mike Tenay expressing his displeasure. Tenay saw the “FTW” on Taz’s shirt and remarked that this was “more like WTF.” Taz praised Tenay for a good one.

The Beautiful People (Angelina Love & Velvet Sky) defeated Tara & Christy Hemme: Midway through the match, Madison Rayne came down to ringside with a brown paper bag. Velvet Sky stopped what she was doing to yell at her! It seemed like Madison took a swing at Velvet, but she sprayed Christy in the eyes with hairspray! The Beautiful People took advantage and scored the victory to move on to the finals of the tournament. After the match, Madison Rayne stepped in the ring and held up the brown paper bag, which had “I’M SORRY” written on it. The Beautiful People welcomed Madison back into their group….

Lauren Brooke & Pope D’Angelo Dinero: Lauren said it was apparent that The Pope has some sort of problem with SUICIDE. The Pope said it was true, and he has extended the opportunity to enlighten him. The Pope said everyone is dealing with the darkness, and is faced with rough times. The Pope said SUICIDE has created his own personal hell, and Pope is going to reach down and ressurect him, only to pimp slap him straight back to hell!

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero defeated SUICIDE: The Pope finished SUICIDE off with the DDE (D’Angelo Dinero Express) – which is the same as the Elijah Experience from WWE..

Lauren Brooke & World ELITE (Eric Young & Homicide & Sheik Abdul Bashir & Kiyoshi & The British Invasion): Eric Young said what they did was based soley out of love for a brother that’s lost his way. Young said they didn’t turn Homicide on Hernandez – Hernandez turned Homicide on Hernandez…. Young said it was Homicide who brought Hernandez into LAX, and Hernandez bit the hand that fed him. Young said he would do whatever it takes to open Hernandez’ eyes, and if that means cracking his skull, then so be it! Young said he is obligated to face Hernandez at No Surrender, but he will never fight a brother. Homicide cut a promo saying Hernandez changed and is not his brother. Homicide said that World Elite was his familia… Homicide said he would live and die for World Elite.. Bellidat!

Rhino + Brother Devon + Brother Ray: Rhino was in full heel mode. Rhino said he wasn’t looking for the spotlight and never worried about politics. Rhino said TNA decided to give Rhino a little push and exploit his personal demons (drinking). Rhino said everybody moved ahead and TNA gave him Jesse Neal. Rhino said he liked Jesse’s story and agreed to train him, and TNA heard about it and exploited it. Rhino said he stood by Jesse Neal and he humiliated him, so he had to kick his ass! Rhino talked about MMA-undefeated Bobby Lashley at No Surrender. Rhino said two weeks ago he saw Dixie Carter on TV talking to Lashley, and asked when was the last time Dixie talked to HIM? Rhino told Dixie that his name was THE WAR MACHINE and added “get that straight, toots!” Team 3-D’s Brother Devon came out and said it sounds like Rhino is crying like a little bitch! Devon said he told his brother to relax in the back so he could try to talk some sense into Rhino. Devon said Rhino’s deal with Jesse Neal had nothing to do with politics. Devon remembered a young Rhino joining ECW and Team 3-D took him under their wing. Devon said when Rhino messed up, they told him his mistakes, corrected them, and they moved on. Devon said they believed in Rhino, and the people believed in Rhino. Devon suggested they go to the back and talk about old times and put this behind them. Devon said they have a history and they have something that could help TNA become the greatest company in the history of the business. Devon extended his hand and suggested they go have a good time. Rhino took his hand, but then snapped and attacked him! Brother Ray hit the ring to save his brother and got some shots in on Rhino before they were all separated..

Hernandez defeated World ELITE (Sheik Abdul Bashir & Kiyoshi): After the match, Homicide ran down and got in Hernandez’ face while Eric Young snuck in and bashed him with a steel chair! Homicide placed the feast of fired briefcase over Hernandez’ throat and Young bashed it with the chair! Hernandez started to foam from the mouth!

Lauren Brooke & ODB: Lauren said that ODB and others have built the TNA Knockouts division and Cody Deaner is trying to knock it down. ODB said all the Knockouts have busted their ass to make their name, not only in the company, but in the business. ODB told Cody Deaner to forget their good times in the past, she will never let him make a mochary of the Knockout’s title..

Alissa Flash defeated Cody Deaner: All of the TNA Knockouts acted as Lumberjills, and immediately put the boots to the Deaner when he was thrown out of the ring! Sojo Bolt & Roxxi gave Deaner a double-suplex on the metal ramp. Traci Brooks, who turned her back on the entire Knockout division was directing traffic and everybody was listening to her (hole in the storyline?). Finally they pushed the Deaner into the ring, where he was easily pinned by a devilishly sexy Alissa Flash. Suddenly, Amazing Kong and Tara started to fight at ringside, and so did Madison Rayne and Christy Hemme! The Deaner backed up the ramp screaming at the ring full of Knockouts, but he was knocked out from behind by ODB!

Lauren Brooke & Kevin Nash: Lauren talked about the buzz online about Kevin Nash’s OPEN CASTING for the World Tour. Lauren said lots of women, and some men, and sending in applications. Suddenly a blonde bimbo walked up and handed Nash her portfolio and he quickly ignored Lauren and paid attention to her. Lauren thought Kevin should get his priorities straight, and focus on his match with Mick Foley. Another bimbo (brunette this time) showed up and Nash flipped through her pictures. Nash put his hand on Lauren’s knee and gave her a glass of wine and told her to relax. Nash said he was looking for Cinderella, and Lauren could jump to the head of the line. Suddenly, an ugly plus sized woman walked in and sat on Nash’s lap. Her boobs literally fell out of her shirt and instead of cutting tape they just blurred the screen.. totally completely 100% lame pointless segment.. my guess is Nash is booking again..

Jeremy Borash & Mick Foley: Mick Foley said he will take back TNA and start by taking back his Legend’s title tonight. Foley said they may see the return of an old friend tonight – HAVE A NICE DAY!

Kevin Nash defeated Mick Foley by DQ: Late in the match, Abyss came down wearing the blue flannel waving a barbed wire baseball bat! Abyss jumped in the ring and Nash bailed out, but the referee disqualified Foley and awarded the match to Nash. Foley was pissed at Abyss for costing him his opportunity at regaining the Legend’s title.. Foley took back his bat and walked out on Abyss…

Lauren Brooke & Team 3-D (Brothers Ray & Devon) & Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode & James Storm): They talked about their feud over the past year, and said they had mutual respect for each other. Team 3-D said whoever wins tonight gets an advantage in the Steel Cage match at No Surrender. Blah blah blah passionate speech, end segment..

Lauren Brooke & Abyss: Abyss was freaking out about Mick Foley turning his back on him. Abyss was so worried that Foley was mad at him that he started ripping out his own hair..

Scott Steiner (w/Booker T) & Brutus Magnus (w/British Invasion) defeated Robert Roode (w/James Storm) & Brother Ray (w/Brother Devon): The finish saw Rob Terry distract the referee while Doug Williams snuck in and bashed Robert Roode with a title belt – allowing Brutus Magnus to score the pinfall to win the match!

ON LOCATION: At a gym somewhere in Colorado, Bobby Lashley proclaimed that he would knock Rhino out at No Surrender..

Sarita & Taylor Wilde defeated Awesome Kong & Raisha Saed: Raisha Saed was pinned and Awesome Kong was NOT HAPPY! After the match, Lauren Brooke interviewed Sarita & Taylor at ringside… Taylor said one more hurtle to jump and she and Sarita will make history at No Surrender!

Jeremy Borash & TNA World Heavyweight champion Kurt Angle: Jeremy Borash hyped the main event at No Surrender. Kurt Angle said in order to be the best in the business, you have to beat the best – and HE is the very best! Angle said you can love or hate him but he always gives his all in the ring. Angle said he will not, and cannot, be defeated at No Surrender..

HARD SELL: No Surrender 2009..

Lauren Brooke & A.J. Styles & Sting: Lauren said Sting has been a mentor to A.J. Styles, and asked what it was going to be like when they’re in the ring against each other at No Surrender fighting for the TNA championship. Sting said he will give it his all this Sunday, and A.J. wouldn’t have it any other way. Styles professed his respect for Sting, and added that this Sunday he feels like it’s HIS TIME..

TNA X-Division champion Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan ended in a No Contest: TNA World Heavyweight champion Kurt Angle joined Mike Tenay & Taz on commentary for the match.. Late in the contest, the fight spilled out of the ring and Morgan got a little too close to Angle. Angle snapped and attacked Morgan, while Christopher Daniels ran down and brawled with Joe! It was an intense situation, with TNA security trying desperately to separate Morgan and Angle, but they kept breaking loose and jumping on each other.. Angle kicked Morgan right between the legs and Angle-slammed him though a table!