TNA IMPACT 03 04 2010


Location: Orlando, Florida (Universal Studios)
Date: March 4, 2010 (Taped: February 16th)
Commentators: Mike Tenay & Taz

VIDEO PACKAGE: This package showed Ric Flair’s outrage with Hulk Hogan giving Abyss his WWE Hall of Fame ring. Also the beat down Hulk Hogan and Abyss receieved before issuing the challenge to Ric Flair and A.J. Styles for a tag team match on TNA’s first Monday night iMPACT.

A.J. Styles & Ric Flair & random woman + Hulk Hogan & Abyss + Eric Bischoff: Ric Flair said he wanted to give something back to the Hulk Hogan and TNA. Abyss and Hogan strolled down to the ring, where they will be receiving a gift. Flair told Hogan he is going to be hooked up tonight. Hogan shooted back and said he doesn’t need one of Flair’s hits of Viagra. Hogan called A.J. a “wannabe Flair.” Hogan said he promised when he came to this company that he would not lace up his boots, but the way Ric Flair and A.J. Styles have been acting has changed the whole complexion. On March 8th, he and Abyss will be taking Flair and A.J. to school. There’s only one thing he wanted to ask these jabronies, “whatchaaaa gonna do when”….. Abyss took the mic and finished it, “when Hulk Hogan & Abyssmania run wild on you!” (The crowds reaction told it all), and Flair went off saying forget it and will beat him on National Television for the first time ever on Monday Night! A.J. said times have changed, and now he is the champ. He asked Hogan if he’s going to sacrifice his reputation to face the Phenomenal One. Flair said he’ll see them Monday and started to leave, but Bischoff came out and interrupted! Bischoff looked pissed and said A.J. is going to defend his title in a fatal 4-way against Pope, Abyss and Desmond Wolfe. A.J. looked livid!

Jeremy Borash & Desmond Wolfe & Chelsea: Desmond Wolfe wanted to know if JB has ever found a fiver in his pocket — he believed it’s called “serendipity.” The Sound of Music claimed that when a door is closed, a window is opened — well that’s bullocks. When someone closed a door on Wolfe he kicked it down, beat up whoever closed it, go upstairs, yelled at the bird and told him to close the window as it’s getting a little chilly. A.J. Styles has become a model champion, but, despite what Flair said, Wolfe can become the man without beating the man — he can pin Abyss or “Poop” Dinero. Chelsea said that she wanted the Hall of Fame ring Abyss is wearing, and Wolfe said that he’ll make that happen, because whatever Chelsea wants, Chelsea gets. (Editor’s Note’s: Mr. Wolfe is a very good promo talker)

Eric Bischoff & Jeff Jarrett: Eric Bischoff was discussing starting a professional football league that’ll compete with the NFL on the phone but said that’s a crazy idea. Jeff Jarrett came in, and Bischoff said that he has to talk to the chef. Jarrett agreed that the chef was here, and that the rumour going around the locker room was that last week’s show saw some of the best burgers ever served in catering. Bischoff commented that Jarrett doesn’t seem to mind, and Jarrett agreed that whatever Eric threw at him he’ll still be there. Jarrett suggested that they go back to the business of professional wrestling to get things flowing. Bischoff was glad Jarrett wanted to get things flowing. Bischoff handed Jarrett a plunger and told him to be the janitor. Jarrett said that he’s been here since day one and seen all the TNA janitors, but Bischoff was looking at the best right now.

Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode & James Storm) defeated TNA Tag Team champions Matt Morgan & Hernandez and The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin) and Generation Me (Max & Jeremy): The ending came when Morgan took a moment to showboat at Hernandez. But that only gave Max time to roll into Beer Money’s corner and he tagged Storm. Storm hit Morgan with the Last Call Super Kick as Roode came in for a School Boy and the win. Hernandez was upset at Matt Morgan after.

Eric Bischoff & Sean Morely & Slick Johnson: Bischoff was seen complaining about pushing Jarrett, but he doesn’t seem ready to break. So since Jarrett wanted to get back to wrestling, Bischoff booked him in a match tonight against Sean Morely. He forgot to tell Jarrett, but that’s no matter. It’s No DQ and falls count anywhere match, and Bischoff believed Jarrett can be found in the men’s room. Bischoff suggested Morely go finish the job, and Morely seemed happy to follow the instructions..

Hulk Hogan & Kurt Angle: Kurt Angle said that he has a little problem, and suggested that Hulk let Kurt take care of Flair and A.J. on Monday night. Since Hulk arrived he has been a huge boom to this company — just look at what he’s has achieved with Abyss. Hulk’s too important to be risked out there against A.J.; he should stay in the back and do his job, and let Kurt do his work out there in the ring. Hulk said that this is his last chance, and he has to know that he can get by these guys. Kurt respected that, so they shook hands.

VIDEO SEGMENT: Mick Foley was at etiquette school: his coach asked him to help with her coat, and he tried to button it. She suggested that he take it off, and he was surprised. She wanted to know what image he’s going for, since if it’s scary then he’s got it down. Mick said that he’s going for “vintage hardcore legend.” She wanted to see his walk. She suggested he button his jacket when he walks and unbuttoned it when he sat down. Mick thought it would be more efficient to just leave it unbuttoned. She also wanted to do something about his hair, but he’s afraid that if he cuts it people will see that he really has gentle eyes. They discussed a tailor for his suit. Editor’s Notes: Pointless

Sean Morely & Slick Johnson: They approached the bathroom door and Sean Morely told Slick Johnson to ring the bell. He did it after some hesitation.

Sean Morely defeated Jeff Jarrett: Sean Morely attacked Jeff Jarrett from behind throwing him into the walls and door. Jarrett had a brief comeback and asked “what the hell are you doing Slick?” Slick Johnson replied “a match.” Morely landed a kick but missed Jarrett by a couple of centimetres in reality; he picked up the win after slamming the door onto Jarrett a few times. Sean Morely pinned Jeff Jarrett quite disturbingly. Editor’s Note: This was Sean Morely’s last TNA appearance.

Christy Hemme & Pope D’Angelo Dinero: Christy Hemme recapped The Pope winning the eight card stud tournament at Against All Odds and then being attacked by A.J. and Flair two weeks ago.. She mentioned the match tonight. He had some big plans for Lockdown, but why wait for tomorrow when you can take care of it today. Pope suggested that if that big-nosed Flair gets involved Pope’ll reach all the way back to the 1980’s for a very special pimp slap. The Pope has spoken!

VIDEO PACKAGE: The British Invasion being troubled in the past few weeks with Big Rob Terry.

Big Rob Terry defeated Doug Williams: champion v champion but non title. Rob Terry picked up the win after reversing the rolling chaos theory into a choke slam. This was a TNA speciality match lasting under two minutes, ‘vintage Russo’. After the match, Brutus Magnus sneaked up from behind and he and Doug Williams gave Rob Terry a beat down.

Jeff Jarrett & medic + Eric Bischoff: Jeff Jarrett was being looked at in the back. Bischoff took the place of the medic and yanked Jarrett’s arm.. Bischoff said that Jarrett wanted a match, so he gave it to him. Jarrett complained about it being in a bathroom, not the ring.. Eric Bischoff said he wanted a match in the ring, he can have one. Bischoff just hoped he’s a fast healer, as that match will be later tonight.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Mr. Anderson was walking around with a fake Olympic Gold Medal.

VIDEO SEGMENT: Back to Etiquette Classes for Mick Foley. Foley balanced a book on his head, but his coach wanted him to walk loosely with it on. He said that his book, Countdown to Lockdown, was coming out in September 2010. She said she only read classics, but there will be plenty of classic about his new book. He sat down, but she wanted him to get back up and try the jacket unbuttoning again. After all those years of dropping elbows he needs her help to get up. She then wanted him to help her out with her chair, but she needed to help him up yet again. She explained that they’ll practice a “B & D—bread and drink”–set up. Editor’s Note: Painful.

VIDEO PACKAGE: Mr. Anderson & Kurt Angle rivalry..

Mr. Anderson + Kurt Angle: Mr. Anderson came out to Kurt Angle’s music wearing a cookie sheet attached to a chain that read ‘loser’, a sports cap and fake gold medal. Anderson (impersonating Angle) said that he is the greatest wrestler in the world today—oh it’s real, it’s damn real. Most of us know that he’s also the most injury-prone wrestler in the world today — in fact he thought he has broken his neck for the seventeenth time. Once before he broke his neck while tying his shoe, one time while walking his dog, and one time he pushed too hard when taking a dump he broke his freaking neck. One time while he was drinking a Yoohoo, and then one time in band camp…but enough about that. Angle suddenly appeared and stormed down to the ring. Anderson tried to cut him off as he entered the ring, but Angle fought through with clotheslines. Anderson rolled out of the ring. When Angle followed him, he got a face full of beer from some cup. Anderson started to beat him back into the ring, dropped his straps, and hit a Olympic Slam. Anderson took the Warrior medal off Angle’s neck and put it around his own.

Hulk Hogan & Abyss: Abyss not very proud of this, but he didn’t have a very good childhood and wasn’t raised very well. Hogan told him that he doesn’t have to go there, but Abyss wanted to get something off his chest. His mother didn’t want him to watch television, but he always found a way to get to that 8 x 8 black and white TV to watch Hulk Hogan. Abyss begged to see him, and then one day she got him a ticket to see him in the Richfield Colosseum in Cleveland, Ohio.. Anyhow, Abyss watched Hogan get the sold out arena to his feet. But now Abyss has the ring, so he has the Hulkamaniac power, and he can handle things on his own. Hogan asked if Abyss would ever leave him or push him aside. Abyss said that of course he wouldn’t. Hogan said that he and Abyss are one. Wait, what? They share the same blood, and they’re family. Now that Abyss has that ring, he does have the power, and Hulk knows Abyss will protect him. Fans around the world believed in Abyss, and they know that with the goodness inside him Abyss will protect him. When Flair and AJ come at them with all the hate in the world they’ll fight them off. Hogan said that he loved Abyss.

VIDEO PACKAGE: Angelina Love’s troubles with The Beautiful People..

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: This happened earlier in the day. Angelina Love was in a photo shoot when Madison Rayne and Lacey Von Erich attacked. Von Erich held Love as Velvet Sky lashed her with a belt.

Angelina Love + Velvet Sky + Madison Rayne & Lacey Von Erich: Angelina Love addressed Velvet Sky, calling her a *itch! Love told her to come out now, and that she’s not leaving till she does… Velvet came down the ramp, belt in hand. Love went up after her, took her down, and slammed her into the side of the ramp. She slammed Sky into the steel guard rail, the ramp, and the guard rail again. She laid in with the belt a few times, then pushed Sky into the ring. She connected with a bicycle kick, and then grabbed the belt again. Rayne and Von Erich came down to the ring to help Sky. She connected with the belt to Rayne, but is no match for the Ugly Stick. Von Erich and Rayne held Love down as Sky laid in with the belt again a few times. The Beautiful People celebrated in the ring.

Hulk Hogan & Bubba The Love Sponge (He is back!): Bubba said that the problem was that no one will tell Hogan the truth. Bubba said Hogan was the best man at his wedding, the Godfather of his children, and he (Bubba) was with Hogan during his surgeries. Hogan was brought in for his mind, not his wrestling. Hogan said that Bubba bounced back from his hard times. The only thing that never left him was wrestling, so he has to do this. Bubba pointed out that Hulk still has him, Nick, Brooke, and Jennifer (fiance). He promised them he wouldn’t wrestle again, and so he should think long and hard about what’s really important before he gets back in that ring.

VIDEO SEGMENT: Mick Foley’s etiquette coach thought that “Mr. bee-SHOFF” will be pleased, so they practiced a handshake. She wanted to know how he says goodbye to a woman. He said that most guys he knew just sneaked out the back. She suggested he say goodbye, and then he says that he knows the rest – and gave her a big hug! Editor’s Note: Waste of 3 segments could off easily added another match.

VIDEO PACKAGE: The history between The Band (Scott Hall & Sean Waltman) and Kevin Nash & Eric Young. Nash & Young want to sort this out on Monday.

Jeff Jarrett defeated Tomko: No music for Jeff Jarrett. The crowd booed the result of this match.

Eric Bischoff & Hulk Hogan: Eric Bischoff questioned Hulk Hogan about wrestling and said it was a bad idea. He said there’s too much at risk if he decides to go through with his match. Hogan said yet again, this is a one-shot deal and will make or break him.

A.J. Styles w/Ric Flair defeated Pope D’Angelo Dinero and “The Monster” Abyss and Desmond Wolfe (w/Chelsea) to retain the TNA World Heavyweight title: A.J. Styles had The Pope in a figure 4 leg lock and the referee decided to call for the bell even though the Pope did not tap. The Pope has been suffering from a leg injury which he got from the beatdown from Styles/Flair a few weeks ago..

POST-MATCH SEGMENT: Desmond Wolfe decided to join in on stomping The Pope along with A.J. Styles. Abyss came into the ring and took down A.J. and Wolfe. Meanwhile, Flair grabbed a barbed wire bat out from under the ring, with which he whacked Abyss from behind. Wolfe helped in holding Abyss down as Flair hit some more shots. Hogan walked slowly to the ring. Flair tried to get him with the bat, but Hogan gets it away from him and whacked him in the chest. Somehow that burst open Flair’s face, and he was bleeding badly as Wolfe and A.J. retreated. Hogan laid in with right hands to Flair’s bloody face until security guards started storming the ring. Hogan started popping them, and Abyss came over to help. A.J. took advantage of the distraction to pull Flair out of the ring. Hogan got a mic and said that this is just a sample of what’s going to happen Monday — blood will flow like water, till no one knows who Flair is and A.J. Styles will be history.