TNA IMPACT 03 03 2011


Location: Fayetteville, North Carolina
Date: March 3, 2011 (February 28th)
Commentators: Mike Tenay & Taz

Dixie Carter + Immortal (Eric Bischoff & Ric Flair & Matt Hardy & Big Rob Terry & Gunner & Murphy) + Hulk Hogan + Fourtune (A.J. Styles & Frankie Kazarian & Robert Roode & James Storm): This much hyped episode of iMPACT started with the appearance of the returning TNA President Dixie Carter. She fought back tears as she thanked the fans who reached out to her for the last several months with support. Dixie said she was there tonight to share the outcome of the court proceedings in Dallas. Dixie admitted that the results did not go their way. Just then Immortal’s music played and Eric Bischoff led his troop to the ring. Bischoff said they allowed Dixie to come out and say good bye to her fans, but didn’t say she could try to put her own PR spin on it. Bischoff said before Dixie leaves he wanted to say he respects her (condesending). Bischoff said even though Dixie is a woman in a mans world, she has one massive set of balls. Ric Flair said this should be called Flair-country, and referred to Dixie as “vibration.” Flair mentioned that if Dixie took his hotal key that night in Orlando, they could have avoided all of this. Flair asked Dixie if social networking gets her off, then informed her that it was their job to get the fans off. Flair did his limosine-ridin’ thing which disgusted Dixie but got cheers from the audience. Flair said they want everything Dixie has because the one with the most toys wins the game. Flair reminded Dixie that there was a Holiday Inn just down the road. Flair then introduced THE Immortal Hulk Hogan, who came out to a standing ovation. Taz said it appears that Hulk Hogan is the man in charge right now. Hogan talked about being in the court room with Dixie today and he now has 100% control of TNA. Hogan said he makes all the decisions now and Dixie is just unemployed. Hogan said people call him an egomaniac but nobody believes their own hype like Dixie Carter. Hogan said Dixie spoon-fed the fans, and they used her to get back on top of the wrestling business (Editor’s Note: Have they checked out the ratings lately?). Hogan said Dixie supplies the money, PERIOD. Hogan said it wasn’t about him and Dixie being partners, it was about him and his real parter, Eric Bischoff, using her to get back on top. Hogan said the only thing Dixie has left is her dignity, and they were going to take that too. Hogan said the one thing Dixie will have left is the fans, but they don’t have a damn thing to say about it. Suddenly Fourtune came out to the stage and Dixie frown was turned up-side-down. A.J. Styles said they can do it the easy way, or the hard way, and Fourtune prefers to do it the hard way. Styles said Dixie Carter was a lady they care about a lot because they gave them each an opportunity in TNA. Styles asked Dixie to leave the ring and then Robert Roode addressed Hulk Hogan. Roode said he couldn’t believe Hogan was the reason he got into the business. Roode said you should never meet your idols because they will always let you down, which is true is he stands there today. Flair took over and told Roode to kiss Hogan’s ass and kiss his ass too. Roode said how about they KICK their ass! Fourtune stormed the ring but they were cut off by security as Immortal taunted them inside the ring.

Immortal (Eric Bischoff & Hulk Hogan & Ric Flair & Matt Hardy & Big Rob Terry & Gunner & Murphy) + Bart Scott from the New York Jets + Dixie Carter & A.J. Styles & Frankie Kazarian + Jeff Jarrett & Karen Jarrett: Some player from the New York Jets showed up and Hulk Hogan introduced him to everyone in Immortal. Matt Hardy, representing North Carolina, volunteered to take care of the guy. They walked off together and ran into Dixie Carter with Styles & Kazarian. They taunted her. Styles & Kazarian sent Dixie away and then got into a fight with Hardy and the football player. As they were being pulled apart, Jeff & Karen Jarrett arrived hand-in-hand smiling from ear to ear.

VIDEO PACKAGE: They showed clips of the events leading up to the Jarrett’s renewing their vows tonight with Kurt Angle walking Karen down the isle.

Eric Bischoff & Hulk Hogan: Bischoff talked to Hogan about some guy from the Network calling him and booking matches for TNA World Heavyweight champion. Hogan said the Network knows he’s in charge now and calls off the shots in the ring from now on. They assumed it had to be Mr. Anderson and agreed that they have to be ready for anything.

Beer Money (Robert Roode & James Storm) defeated Immortal Security (Gunner & Murphy): Beer Money was working hard to get the fans riled up.. after the match, Ink Inc. came out and Shannon Moore cut a promo since he was from North Carolina. Moore challenged Beer Money to a title match at Victory Road. James Storm said they will give Ink Inc. a title shot because they are the best tag team in the business.

Jeff Jarrett & Karen Jarrett + Eric Bischoff: Jeff & Karen were talking about their wedding cake when the bathroom door opened and Eric Young was sitting on the toilet asking if he could be the best man, maid of honor, ring bearer, or at least the flower girl. Karen refused and Jeff shut the door saying “it’s just Eric.” Then they stuck their tongues in each others mouths sucked face.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Kurt Angle showed up with his little boy in pretty good spirits.

Velvet Sky w/Angelina Love defeated Sarita w/Rosita: It didn’t take long before Angelina Love & Rosita were ejected from ringside and sent backstage. Velvet avoided “certain death” and hit a DDT for the 1-2-3 to win and save her career! Angelina returned and congratulated her BFF (Best Friend Forever).

The Beautiful People (Velvet Sky & Angelina Love) + Robbie E & Cookie & Angelina (from the Jersey Shore) + Sarita: Suddenly Robbie E came out with Cookie & Angelina from the Jersey Shore TV show. Oh boy two Angelina’s – this might get confusing. Cookie said a few months ago the Beautiful People brought in J-Woww (from the Jersey Shore) and beat her up 4-on-1. Cookie said she brought some back-up in the form of Angelina – J-Woww’s nemesis from the Jersey Shore. Angelina said it figures Love & Sky would hang out with J-Woww because it takes a slut to know a slut. Angelina challenged Jenny (aka J-Woww) to a fight on iMPACT next week because she got her kicked off the Jersey Shore. Velvet said they will deal with her later because they had to go celebrate. Velvet tried to leave but Angelina kicked her on the butt. Velvet jumped on Angelina for a catfight. Sarita jumped in to help along with Cookie & Robbie E to beat up both of the Beautiful People. The heels took off and Angelina Love got back on the mic challenging Sarita, Cookie, and Angelina to a six way against Angelina (Love), Velvet, and presumably Winter next week.

BACKSTAGE PROMO: Mr. Anderson said his head is in the ring and predicted that the Network has chosen him for a title shot tonight. Anderson said the Network realized they made a mistake by giving RVD a title shot last week because he will bring ratings. Anderson said sometimes good things happen to assholes!

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Eric Young found Orlando Jordan and said he had huge news. Orlando wanted to show off his new shirt that says “I Love Tag Teams.” Young said he was Jeff Jarrett’s best man and ring bearer, while Orlando is going to be the flower girl. Young lost the ring and accused Orlando or stealing it. Young took Orlando down and grappled with him. Orlando told Young to check his shoe, and sure enough, that’s where the ring was. Young said it was a test and Orlando was still his best friend!

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Ric Flair entered Jeff Jarrett’s dressing room and talked to him about the ceremony tonight. Flair was almost as pumped as Jarrett, but wanted to talk about the honeymoon. Jeff said the Nature Boy is an expert in honeymoons, but he’s never had one like this. Jeff said he got VIP tickets to Harry Potter in Orlando with all five of the kids. Flair couldn’t believe it and suggested flowers, wine, dinner, and ligerie instead. Jeff said Flair didn’t understand what their relationship is about.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Kurt Angle was taping his hands and talking to his little boy. Someone came in and Kurt asked them to look after him for the rest of the night.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Hulk Hogan was sitting backstage talking to someone on the phone, most likely some guy from the Network. Hogan spoke badly about Mr. Anderson and explained that surprises don’t always equal ratings. Hogan told the guy “yes sir, I get it” and hung up.

Eric Young & Orlando Jordan + Jeff Jarrett + Kurt Angle + Karen Jarrett: Eric Young was the ring bearer and Orlando Jordan was the flower girl. Jeff Jarrett came out first but he was immediately attacked by Kurt Angle from behind! They fought up to the stage close to Karen’s wedding cake. Jarrett almost fell onto it a couple times. Angle knocked Jarrett down and threatened to destroy the cake. Karen came out and jumped on Kurt’s back and screamed at him for ruining her wedding day. She slapped Kurt and he grabbed her and slammed her face down into the multi-layer wedding cake! Kurt Angle gets the last laugh! Thank God they didn’t do a lame drawn-out boring wedding segment!

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Hulk Hogan said last week’s ladder match was great but he doesn’t want Jeff Hardy doing ladder matches any more. Hogan explained to Jeff that he’s been branded as a fighting champion and has another title match tonight. Hogan said now that Jeff has the title back everyone is watching him. Jeff said he has a match tonight and Hogan can’t tell him what it is? Hogan said the Network thinks surprising the employees will equal ratings. Hogan said he doesn’t know who it is, and if he did, he’d set him up down the road and have him beat up at the 7-11. Hogan said Jeff stepped it up and he’s their guy. Hogan said Jeff was like a son to him and he has much respect for him.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: The Jarrett’s were freaking out to Eric Bischoff & Ric Flair. Bischoff told Karen to take a shower and redo her make-up because the wedding will still happen tonight. The Jarrett’s stormed out and Bischoff said he hates wedding. Hulk Hogan walked in and asked if Bischoff knows who is challenging Jeff Hardy tonight. Bischoff said he didn’t know, but they had an idea and they had to talk about it.

“Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner defeated “The Freak” Rob Terry:

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Ric Flair & Bart Scott from the New York Jets walked into Kurt Angle’s dressing room. Flair introduced them and Kurt said he was a big fan, but the football player acted like he didn’t know who Kurt was. Flair said Angle thinks he took the torch from him. Flair said he got himself an enforcer and threatened Kurt with getting his ass kicked if he interfered in the Jarrett’s wedding tonight.

Matt Morgan defeated Hernandez by DQ: Referee Earl Hebner disqualified Hernandez for excessive violence after he bashed Morgan hear-first into the ring steps and bloodied his forehead.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Hulk Hogan was yelled at the Network guy on the phone demanding to know who they picked for the title shot tonight. Hogan called for Mr. Anderson to come in and they agreed that they didn’t like each other. Hogan said when Anderson walks in the room he smells money, but Anderson doesn’t get a title match tonight. Anderson flipped out and Hogan told him to calm down. Anderson said he doesn’t care about Immortal, but he just wants his title back! Hogan sat down and pulled out his back brace and said it wasn’t going down tonight. Anderson said Hogan disgusts him and walked out. Hogan yelled to let him know next time he slams a 700 pound giant!

Eric Young & Orlando Jordan + Jeff Jarrett + Karen Jarrett w/Kurt Angle + Eric Bischoff & Bart Scott: Eric Young was the ring bearer and Orlando Jordan was the flower girl. Jeff Jarrett came out next just like he did earlier on the first attempt. The ring was all set up with wedding stuff. “Here comes the bride” played and Karen came out accompanied by her ex-husband, a smirking Kurt! Taz said he has seen some wrestling weddings and they never go well. Kurt “gave” Karen to Jeff and patted him on the back! Kurt stood behind Jeff grinning, probably because Karen was still covered in cake. They did the vows and both said “I do.” The minister asked if there was anyone who objected and the entire building started booing. The minister asked Jeff & Karen to read their personal vows to each other. Jeff read from a piece of paper, saying now Karen is married to a real man. You could see Kurt standing behind Jeff still smiling. Jeff said he will treat Karen like a princess and called her a victim of a man who didn’t deserve her in the first place. Kurt continued to smile. Jeff said all the gold medals in the world couldn’t symbolize his love for her. Kurt still smiling. Karen said Jeff was a real man, unlike another man. Karen said Jeff always made her his first priority, unlike what that other man did. Karen said her big daddy makes sure his princess gets it, and every night he makes sure his princess goes to bed happy – not like that other man. Kurt was still smiling. Karen continued to gush about Jeff, how he talks to her and their kids about their days and doesn’t just want to talk about himself. Jeff asked for the ring and Eric Young took it out of his shoe. Karen was disgusted. Jeff put the ring on Karen’s finger and said he honors her. Orlando gave Karen a ring and she placed it on Jeff’s finger saying she honors him. ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz. The minister pronounced them man and wife and they started sucking face while Kurt continued smiling condesendingly. Kurt asked the minister if they were done, and he said yes they were. Kurt knocked over the podium and pulled out and axe! Everyone scattered and Kurt proceeded to destroy all the wedding junk in the ring with the axe! Eric Bischoff sent Bart Scott out to take care of Kurt Angle. The axe disappeared. Kurt tried to walk away but the football player pie-faced him. Angle snapped and put him in the Anklelock! TNA security ran down and pulled them apart and saved New York Jet Bart Scott’s life! Mike Tenay said the New York Jets have been tapping out since 1969!

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Jeff Hardy vowed to leave tonight with his TNA World Heavyweight title in tact.

Sting defeated Jeff Hardy to win the TNA World Heavyweight title: The mystery challenger sent by the Network was “The ICON” Sting!! Jeff Hardy was shocked and thrown off his game immediately. Sting got Jeff locked in the Scorpion Deathlock early, but Jeff inched his way to the ropes and broke the hold. The match continued for several more minutes before Sting hit the Scorpion Deathdrop on Jeff Hardy and pinned him to win the TNA World Heavyweight title!!!!!