WWE Monday Night RAW 12 21 2009

December 21, 2009 – Tampa, Florida
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler

DARK MATCH: Tyler Reks defeating Yoshi Tatsu..

“RAW guest host” Johnny Damon: Johnny Damon has very little charisma, but he welcomed the fans and said he was in charge of the WWE franchise tonight. Damon said they had a few secret Santa’s out there who will grant one WWE Superstar his wish. Suddenly a man in a tiger costume jumped the rail and into the ring, chased by a hot blonde woman swinging a golf club. Oh, I get it… that was a Tiger Woods joke. The blonde chased the tiger all the way backstage, and Damon said “that’s not what I signed up for.” Damon shook it off and called out the Divas!

Melina Perez & Gail Kim & Kelly Kelly defeated Maryse Ouellet & Jillian Hall & Alicia Fox:

LITTLE PEOPLE’S COURT SEGMENT: Shawn Michaels & Triple H met in the empty arena earlier today and found a note telling them to go to the ring. They decided to climb under the ring where it was pitch black. Michaels cracked a couple DX glow sticks and mentioned that they were being sold at the merchandise table and WWEshop.com. They found a light switch and turned the lights on. They were supposed to be under the ring, but they were in a hallway standing up. Triple H said, “who would have thought under the ring would look like this!” The two DX members walked down the hall and found a room marked “Little People’s Court.” They walked in and found a court scene with a little Judge Judy and a jury of little people sitting there. Triple H noticed that the little Baliff looked just like Shawn Michaels. The little Baliff forced DX to sit down, and Hornswoggle entered the court. Hornswoggle started yelling, and Michaels translated that he was sueing them for intentional infliction of emotional distress. Hornswoggle showed video evidence of DX bullying Hornswoggle about gimmick infringement. DX said it didn’t look good for them. To be continued..

Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne & Mark Henry defeated Randy Orton & Legacy (Ted DiBiase Jr. & Cody Rhodes):

Santa Clause & Johnny Damon & Eve Torres & The Bella Twins + Carlito Colon + Chris Masters: Eve Torres & The Bella Twins were doing what they do best, whoring themselves out to the RAW guest host (Johnny Demon). Santa Clause was there too. Carlito came in and started flirting with Eve, but Chris Masters came to her rescue. Santa got between Carlito and Masters and suggested they settle it in the ring. They revealed that Santa was Sgt. Slaughter in costume. Carlito said Santa can’t make matches, so Johnny Damon came in and made the match official!

LITTLE PEOPLE’S COURT SEGMENT: Triple H & Shawn Michaels started to sweat and HHH tried to explain that it was all a misunderstanding. They made a bunch of accidental short jokes and they dug the hole a little deeper. Hornswoggle showed video of when DX asked him to be a member, only to attack him at the end. Shawn Michaels said the court was going to force them to make Hornswoggle a members of DX, but claimed that he was going to have to prove himself. Michaels started saying “if you’re not down with that.. I got two words for ya,” but then all the little people started throwing garbage at him! Triple H & Shawn Michaels ran out of the room and slammed the door behind them. They got the door shut and ran away, climbing out from under the ring again to escape the strange little people’s world. Suddenly something grabbed Shawn’s leg and tried to pull him under the ring, but Triple H pulled him out and they ran away !

John Cena defeated Jack Swagger:

Santa Clause & Johnny Damon: Johnny Damon talked to Santa Clause, this time played by “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes. Montel Vontavious Porter came in and said he wanted to make 2010 the year of MVP. He said he wasn’t asking for a title shot, just the opportunity to earn one. MVP asked for a non-title match with WWE champion Sheamus. They revealed that Santa was Dusty Rhodes. Johnny Damon booked MVP vs. Sheamus tonight!

Chris Masters w/Eve Torres defeated Carlito Colon: After the match, Eve Torres hugged Chris Masters and then pulled out some mistletoe. Eve held it over Masters’ head and kissed him on the lips!

The Tiger & The Bella Twins + Santa Clause & Mike “The Miz” Mizanin + Johnny Damon + Mae Young: The Bella Twins were whoring themselves out to the Tiger (a symbol for Tiger Woods). Then the Miz was shown talking to yet another Santa Clause, telling him to make it count this year. The Miz said he wanted a tour bus with a picture of his face on it, a house in Malibu and a two hotter girlfriends. The Miz said he deserves all of it. Santa was revealed to be IRS (Mike Rotundo), who scolded the Miz for not paying his taxes! Suddenly the blonde woman came in swinging the golf club at the Tiger, shouting “there’s more?” The Miz stormed off and Johnny Damon came in and said thank God he pays his taxes. IRS said “you baseball players are the biggest tax cheats out there.” Then Mae Young showed up wearing a slutty Christmas outfit to give Johnny Damon a big gross wet kiss on the lips! They ended up on the floor, where Damon broke loose and ran away. Mae struggled to get to her feet and yelled “Merry Christmas everybody!”

WWE champion Sheamus defeated Montel Vontavious Porter: After the match, John Cena came down and squared off with Sheamus in the ring. Cena said he was there to collect on his rematch, and he wanted it right now! Cena was ready to fight, but Sheamus backed out of the ring. Sheamus stepped back in the ring, only to back out once more and walk backwards up the ramp away from the ring.

Johnny Damon & Vince McMahon: Johnny Damon was getting his make-up retouched after his ’bout’ with Mae Young when Vince McMahon came in. Vince said he just saw what happened between John Cena & Sheamus, and asked what Damon was going to do about it. Damon suggested Cena vs. Damon on next week’s RAW. Vince thanked Damon and shook his hand. Damon asked Vince if there was any truth to Bret “Hitman” Hart hosting a future episode of RAW. Vince said that was bit of a Bah Humbug question..

WWE United States champion Mike “The Miz” Mizanin defeated Santino Clause (aka Santino Marella): Santino Clause came out giving presents (WWE merchandise) to some front row fans. Santino Clause said he has a list and he checked it twice, and right now he doesn’t feel like being nice! The Miz made short work of Santino and won the match. After the match, the Miz stomped Santa’s bag of presents..

John Mathews & The Big Show: The Big Show said he was going to the ring to call out the REAL Santa Clause, and if he doesn’t grant his wish he is going to knock him out!

TRAILER: The Marine 2, starring Ted DiBiase Jr. ..

The Big Show + Santa Clause (Chris Jericho) + Hornswoggle & The Little People + DX (Triple H & Shawn Michaels): The Big Show said tonight’s guest host promised one RAW superstars wish would be granted by one of the secret Santa’s. The Big Show said that one superstar was him, and demanded that the REAL Santa come down and give him what he wants NOW! Santa Clause came down to the ring with a Bella Twin on each arm. Santa looked old and was ackward as he entered the ring – so I’m guessing he’s not a regular wrestler. Santa said the Big Show was too large to sit on his knee, so Big Show got down and let Santa sit on HIS knee instead. Santa asked Big Show if he has been a good boy this year, and he said “yes, I have.” Santa asked Big Show what he wanted for Christmas this year, and he said that he wanted his best friend and tag team partner Chris Jericho back on RAW. Santa said Jericho has been a very bad boy this year. Santa agreed and said if that’s what the little boy wanted then Jericho would be back on RAW next week. Suddenly it became apparant that Santa Clause WAS Chris Jericho. Hornswoggle showed up and pulled off Santa’s beard revealing Jericho to the world. Jericho threatened Hornswoggle, so an army of Little People crawled out from under the ring wearing DX t-shirts to defend Hornswoggle. Jericho went nuts and shoved all of the Little People out of the ring except for one. The last Little Person hung onto Jericho’s ankle until Big Show picked him up and dropped him to the mat with a Side-Slam! And you thought King Kong Bundy at WrestleMania III was brutal? Jericho pushed Hornswoggle back into the ring and wanted Big Show to do the same to him. The crowd began to chant for DX. Hornswoggle started doing the Shawn Michaels stomp in the corner hit Jericho with sweet shin music! Big Show picked up Hornswoggle for a choke-slam but then DX (Triple H & Shawn Michaels) came to his rescue! DX knocked Jericho out of the ring and gave the Big Show a double-suplex! DX looked at Hornswoggle and Triple H said he wanted to squash him! Michaels said it was Christmas. Triple H said he wants to squash Hornswoggle for Christmas. Michaels said the little guy was starting to grow on him. Triple H admitted that he doesn’t hate Hornswoggle as much as he used to. Michaels said they told Hornswoggle to do something big, and what he just did was pretty big. Michaels asked HHH if they could keep him, promising to feed him and clean out his cage every day. Triple H said they had a height requirement to be in DX. Triple H said if Hornswoggle drops the whole court thing, they will make him the official DX mascot! Hornswoggle celebrated! Michaels said “and if you’re not down with that, we got two words for ya!” Hornswoggle yelled “SUCK IT!!!”