WWE Monday Night RAW 10 31 2011

WWE RAW – October 31, 2011 – Atlanta, Georgia
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler

EARLIER TODAY (TAPED): The Rock answered John Cena‘s request to be his tag team partner at the Survivor Series PPV. Rock said both Cena and himself represents an era and a generation. Rock said his answer to Cena was HELL NO! Rock said he didn’t want to slap Cena’s hand he wanted to slap Cena’s face! Rock then started to think about it and listen to his Twitter. Rock said Team Bring It hates The Miz & R-Truth, and it’s all about what the people want. Rock said the people want to see Miz & Truth get their asses kicked at Survivor Series so Cena’s wish will come true! Rock accepted!! Rock said Miz & Truth are badasses and challenged them to do it against The Rock. Rock said the other reason he has accepted is so that Cena can stand on the apron and witness the Rock laying the smack down on Miz & Truth. Rock told Cena to watch and learn how a real man gets it done!! The Rock & John Cena at Survivor Series, never before, never again… if you smell what the Rock is cooking!!

C.M. Punk defeated World Heavyweight champion Mark Henry by DQ: They showed a clip of Mark Henry’s superplex on Big Show at Vengeance, where they broke the ring in a planned stunt. Jerry Lawler was excited to say he’s never seen anything like that before (but he must have forgotten when Brock Lesnar did it to Big Show back in 2004, and it was 100 times better). John Laurinaitis came out and said C.M. Punk now has to defeat Mark Henry to get a WWE title shot at Survivor Series. A few minutes into the match, Alberto Del Rio sent Ricardo Rodriguez in the ring to assault Mark Henry with his shoe. Ricardo did as he was told and got Punk disqualified. Punk realized what happened and dove onto Alberto! Ricardo pulled him off and Alberto ran away, leaving Ricardo to pay the price! Punk threw Ricardo into the ring where Mark Henry delivered a World’s Strongest Slam!

Teh Muppets (Kermit the Frog & Miss Piggy) + Vickie Guerrero & Dolph Ziggler + Santino Marella + KellY Kelly: Kermit welcomed everyone to Monday Night RAW, and Miss Piggy called herself the original Diva. They were immediately interrupted by Vickie Guerrero & Jack Swagger. Swagger threatened to make a ham sandwich out of Miss Piggy. Kermit told Swagger they didn’t want any trouble with him or his mother. Vickie freaked out. Santino came to the rescue. Santino said Swagger should not be picking on Kermit or the beautiful Miss Piggy, but he should be warming up. Santino said Swagger has a match tonight with HIM. Kermit said “Good luck, Santine” and Swagger yelled “can it frog” and closed Kermit’s mouth. Swagger said he doesn’t care about that, because he will have Dolph Ziggler in his corner. Santino said Dolph had a one on one match with Zack Ryder tonight! Kermit yelled “woo woo woo!” and Piggy said “you know it!” Kelly Kelly came out next dressed as a uhhhhhh cowboy pirate. Kelly walked past Piggy and kissed Kermit on the lips!

Eve Torres (as “Robin” from Batman & Robin) defeated Kelly Kelly (as a cowboy pirate) and Rosa Mendes (as a Cave Woman) and Aksana (as Morticia Adams) and A.J. (as Kitana from Morgan Kombat) and Kaitlyn (as “Michael Hayes?”) and Alicia Fox (as a Sailer) and Beth Phoenix () and Natalya Neidhart (as the Queen of Harts) and Tamina (as an Egyptian Goddess) and The Bella Twins (as The Super Mario Brothers): WWE Diva’s champion Beth Phoenix (as the Queen of the Ring) joined Cole & King on commentary. I guess the winner gets a title shot as usual. The final four were Kelly, Eve, Alicia, and Natalya. Alicia was eliminated. Kelly was eliminated. Natalya was eliminated, making Eve Torres the number one contender! Beth was pissed off at Natalya, but they got together to confront Eve. Alicia & Kelly stood by Eve’s sides and the heels backed down.

The Muppets (Dr. Bunsen Honeydew & Beaker) + Christian + Sheamus: The Doctor had a new energy drink that would give Santino speed, power, agility, and fresh breath. He told Beaker to get it to Santino. Beaker ran into Christian, who bullied Beaker and stole the drink. Christian poured it out and said ‘better luck next time nerd!” Sheamus showed up and Christian walked away. Sheamus made friends with Beaker, who he is apparantly related to (get it, they look alike).

Cody Rhodes & Wade Barrett defeated WWE Tag Team champions Air Bourne (Evan Bourne & Kofi Kingston): After the match, Christian ran down to help triple-team the tag team champions until Sheamus hit the ring and cleared the ring of heels!

The Muppets (Statler & Waldorf, aka the two old guys who sit in the balcony): The two old guys made comments about the show. One of them was doing the “what?” chant.

John Laurinaitis + C.M. Punk: John was confronted by C.M. Punk about what happened earlier. Punk asked if that was fair and impartial? Punk asked what John was going to make him do now? John granted Punk his WWE championship match, as long as Alberto agrees to give him one. Punk said that seems fair enough…. he slapped John’s back and left.

VIGNETTE: Brodus Clay..

The Big Show defeated WWE champion Alberto Del Rio: They were playing up that Big Show was not 100% after the Superplex spot at Vengeance. After a long match, Big Show actually hit the knockout punch and scored the clean pin! After the match, C.M. Punk came down and sat down next to Alberto.

C.M. Punk & WWE champion Alberto Del Rio: Punk said he had a yes or no question for Alberto and needs an answer. Punk said before he asks Alberto the question he will put him in the Anaconda Vice and won’t let go until he says yes! Punk asked for a title match at Survivor Series and then put on the Anaconda Vice until Alberto agreed to the match! Punk got up and yelled “HE SAID YES!” but the mic was cut. The mic came back and Punk repeated “in case you didn’t hear, he said YES!”

The Muppets (Fozzy & Gonzo) + Vickie Guerrero & Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger: Fozzy & Gonzo were talking about how big the WWE Superstars were. Gonzo said he could be WWE champ if he put his mind to it. Vickie came in with Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger and they twisted Gonzo into a pretzel.

MOVIE TRAILER: The Muppets movie.

Santino Marella defeated Jack Swagger w/Vickie Guerrero: ANIMAL from the Muppets (best Muppet ever!) was the special guest time keeper/bell ringer. Midway through the match, Beaker popped out from under the ring and gave Santino the energy drink. Santino drank it and spit it in Swagger’s face allowing him to get the 1-2-3!!

Zack Ryder defeated WWE United States champion Dolph Ziggler w/Vickie Guerrero: Ryder initially scored the pin, but Zigglers leg was on the rope so the referee restared the match! There was some commotion with Vickie, but Ryder held on and scored the clean pin on Ziggler once again!

HIGHLIGHT PACKAGE: Kevin Nash assaulting Triple H.. they did a medical update saying HHH would be out of action for at least five weeks. Also, John Laurinaitis re-signed Kevin Nash to a contract (which is what HHH asked for) and Nash will be on RAW next week!

RINGSIDE SEGMENT: Michael Cole got up on the announce table to cut a promo on Jim Ross. Cole claimed JR wasn’t there tonight because he is suffering from imflammatory bowel disease. Cole blabbed on some more like a fool. Cole said a real man like himself would have shown up tonight, but JR isn’t a real man. Cole suggested JR wear a diaper for the battle. Cole extended his challenge until next week!

The Muppets (Statler & Waldorf, aka the two old guys who sit in the balcony): The two old guys said the only thing worse than listening to Michael Cole is… NOTHING!

John Morrison & Miss Piggy + Hornswoggle + Kermit the Frog + Cody Rhodes: Miss Piggy was admiring Morrison’s abs. Piggy wanted to talk over dinner after the show. Morrison said he has plans but has a friend who is totally free. Hornswoggle came in and showed off his tatoo of Miss Piggy on his ankle. Hornswoggle kissed Miss Piggy and she whacked him! Kermit came in and asked Hornsoggle if he was okay. Hornswoggle was in love and went away. Cody Rhodes came in and put a paper bag over Kermit’s head!

John Cena defeated Mike “The Miz” Mizanin by submission: Late in the match, a “fan” wearing a scream mask attacked John Cena. Miz went for the Skull Crushing Finale but Cena turned it into an STF and forced Miz to tap out! The “fan” jumped the rail and got in the ring, where he took an Attitude Adjustment from John Cena. Cena pulled off his mask and revealed that it was R-Truth!