WWE RAW – March 12, 2012 – Cleveland, Ohio
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler
IN THE RING
Jerry “The King” Lawler + John Cena: The King announced that tonight they would have a Rock’N’Rap showdown between The Rock and John Cena. King said lets get started with some Thuganomics. John Cena came out with his old school “Doctor of Thuganomics” gear. Cena did a cheesy rap talking trash about the Rock and then left after the punchline.
“The Great White” Sheamus defeated Dolph Ziggler w/Vickie Guerrero: During the match, Josh Mathews interviewed World Heavyweight champion Daniel Bryan (w/AJ) up in the skybox. They are painting him as abusive towards AJ. He actually said “AJ loves me, and the feeling is mutual.”
MIXED TAG TEAM MATCH
David Otunga & Mark Henry defeated Santino Marella & Aksana: Interim RAW General Manager John Laurinaitis joined Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler on commentary to talk about the Team Laurinaitis vs. Team Long match at WrestleMania. When the deck was stacked against Team Long, Teddy came down to protect Aksana. Long pushed JL backwards over his chair to the floor. Santino was about to finish off Otunga with the Cobra when Mark Henry was tagged in and he demolished Santino for the win. Afterwards, Otunga & Henry picked on Santino until Kofi Kingston hit the ring and he was beaten up too. R-Truth ran down next and he got beaten up as well. John Laurinaitis introduced Mark Henry as the newest member of Team Laurinaitis.
Eve Torres & Zack Ryder + WWE Diva’s champion Beth Phoenix: Zack said when Eve kissed him last week he got confused because he was calling her all week and she wasn’t returning his calls. Zack asked if Eve was trying to play him. Eve said Zack was playing himself, and suggested they be friends with benefits. Beth Phoenix showed up and complained that the Bellas & Alicia were on Access and not her. Beth threatened to pay host Maria Menunos a visit on Access! Eve said that was a good idea. Eve excused Zack from the scene. Beth said she admired how Eve pulled Zack’s strings. Beth said she could have Zack wrapped around her pinky too, and asked if Eve minded. Eve said she did mind, and walked off.
John Laurinaitis & The Miz: The Miz approached JL and asked when he was going to put him on Team Laurinaitis. Miz introduced the star of TV’s Psych, to help convince JL to put him on the team. JL booked Miz in a match where if he wins he gets a place on the team at WrestleMania.
Funkasaurus Brodus Clay defeated Jinder Mahal:
IN THE RING
Shawn Michaels + The Undertaker + Triple H: Shawn came out and talked about what happened last week with Triple H and then called out the Undertaker. Shawn will referee the Taker/HHH “Hell in a Cell” match at WrestleMania. Undertaker suggested that HHH was putting words in his mouth. Taker said win or lose, he will accept the outcome of WrestleMania, but will not tolorate Shawn sticking his ego into it. Taker said if the outcome isn’t pure, he promises there will be hell to pay. Shawn said Taker calls it destiny, but he (Shawn) calls it irony. Shawn said isn’t it ironic that he could be the one to turn Taker into a failure. Shawn said isn’t it ironic that he can still be the guy to end the streak. Taker said he will beat HHH in the cell… the streak will continue… and he will officially end an era! But if Shawn doesn’t do the right thing, he will officially end SHAWN! Shawn broke free of Taker’s grasp and patted him on the shoulder before leaving the ring. Shawn was met by Triple H up on the stage. They exchanged glances and Shawn exited. HHH looked down at Taker in the ring and gave him the DX “suck it” gesture.
NON (WWE CHAMPIONSHIP) TITLE MATCH
WWE champion C.M. Punk defeated The Miz: The guy from PYSCH was the special ring announcer. He gave an elaborate introduction to the Miz, who is from Cleveland. Punk won the match, so Miz still doesn’t have a match at WrestleMania.
ON SCREEN: After the match, Chris Jericho came up on the big screen and said he found a little deep dark secret about C.M. Punk this week. Jericho said the reason Punk is ‘straight edge’ because his father was an alcoholic. Jericho said Punk was terrified that he will end up like his father, but alcohol is in his blood. Jericho said he has found something that gives Punk nightmares. Jericho suggested that was why Punk got all those tatooes. Jericho said Punk will drink eventually and he will be the one to make him drink. Jericho said he will turn Punk into a broken man. Jericho said after WrestleMania he will be WWE champion and Punk will be just like his father – a pathetic damn drunk!
NON (WWE UNITED STATES) TITLE MATCH
Randy Orton defeated WWE United States champion Jack Swagger w/Vickie Guerrero: After the match, Kane’s pyro hit and this freaked Orton out a little bit.
IN THE RING (THE ROCK CONCERT)
The Rock: The Rock came out with his guitar and milked the crowd response. Rock showed off his goosebumps. Rock called John Cena a sellout for what he did earlier tonight. Rock said that wasn’t the real John Cena, the real John Cena looks like what would happen if Vanilla Ice banged a teletubbie. Rock said tonight was about something special. Rock sat down and picked up his guitar. Rock said it wasn’t about rap because everybody knows Cleveland ROCKS! Rock started singing a bunch of trash-talk about John Cena. Pretty entertaining stuff. Rock sang several “true stories” about John Cena. The crowd was eating it up, because it was hilarious. Rock said the only way to end the Rock Concert is to sing a song for the millions and millions of Rock fans out there. Rock then led the crowd in singing WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU! Rock hyped his match at WrestleMania to end the show!