WWE RAW – May 28, 2012 – New Orleans, Louisiana
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler
[ REVIEWED BY DARBY GATORADE ]
OPENING: Show dedicated to men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice in defending the country’s freedom, in honor of Memorial Day.
HIGHLIGHT PACKAGE: John Laurinaitis defeating John Cena at Over The Limit with help from The Big Show, then Cena’s reaction plus Big Show’s explanation from last week’s RAW – which ended with Big Show knocking out Cena backstage.
IN THE RING
The Big Show: Big Show said it was easy making people smile and he didn’t mind doing it. Big Show said what he did was a calculated business decision. Big Show said he is a business man who just happened to be a giant. Big Show said he doesn’t have to smile down because he has an iron clad contract with a big fat bonus. Big Show said that means he can do whatever he wants and doesn’t have to worry about making the fans happy. Big Show said he is not an entertainer he is a GIANT and there’s no one in his league! Big Show said there are no helmet and shoulder-pad wearing football players, toothpick noodle-arm basketball players, phony UFC fighters, or any WWE Superstar who is in his league. Big Show said maybe that’s why nobody came to help him after he was fired. Big Show complained that right after he was fired, Brodus Clay was dancing with the fans. Big Show said Kofi & Truth were having a good time too. Big Show said it was easy for the fans to just move on. Big Show said John Cena disappointed him the most when he didn’t come to help him. Big Show said he thinks everybody thinks he is one big joke. Big Show said Cena hurt him so he hurt Cena – he knocked Cena out twice in 24 hours. Big Show said what he does to Cena at No Way Out won’t be pretty. Big Show if you think Cena’s greatest loss was at WrestleMania to The Rock, or if you think Cena’s greatest beating was at Extreme Rules to Brock Lesnar, or if you think Cena’s greatest embarassment was his loss at Over The Limit to John Laurinatis…. well Big Show will do all three things to Cena at No Way Out and THAT will put a SMILE on HIS face!
NON (WWE UNITED STATES) TITLE MATCH
Alberto Del Rio defeated WWE United States champion Santino Marella: Santino went for the Cobra too early and Alberto put him in the Arm-bar for the win!
Eve Torres & Alex Riley + The Big Show: Alex Riley was hitting on Eve backstage when Big Show showed up. Eve said Big Show can pick his own opponent tonight and it can be anybody. Riley freaked out thinking Big Show would pick him. Big Show said he was safe but wanted to send a message to the locker room. Big Show then rammed Riley head first into the cement wall.
WWE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH
Kofi Kingston & R-Truth defeated Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler w/Vickie Guerrero: After the match, Dolph said he was better than this… and walked out on Vickie Guerrero & Jack Swagger!
The Big Show & Santino Marella + Brodus Clay: Big Show bullied Santino for not caring about him two weeks ago. Brodus Clay showed up and challenged Big Show to pick him tonight! Big Show told him to enjoy his dancing because after tonight he won’t be walking.
IN THE RING
John Laurinaitis & David Otunga & Eve Torres + WWE champion C.M. Punk: JL introduced himself and made the Big Show/Brodus Clay match official. JL then said the Big Show/John Cena match at No Way Out will take place inside a Steel Cage. JL said he has become the most popular Superstar in the history of the WWE. JL then announced that he will be on the cover of the new WWE video game. C.M. Punk interrupted and made fun of JL. Punk said the actual person on the cover of WWE 13 is a lot better looking thank JL, then unveiled the true cover. A large banner unrolled from the ceiling featuring Punk on the cover. Punk said a wrestling video game with an actual wrestler on the cover, what a concept! Punk told JL and his stooges to get out of his ring. Punk said the board of directors have their eye on JL and he doesn’t want to give them any more ammunition. JL looked Punk in the eye and wished him luck.
NON (WWE CHAMPIONSHIP) TITLE MATCH
Daniel Bryan defeated WWE champion Daniel Bryan: Midway through the match, A.J. came down to ringside wearing a C.M. Punk t-shirt. A.J. tried to expose ex-boyfriend Daniel Bryan’s cheating to the referee, but Bryan used the distraction to remove a corner pad. Punk end up going head-first into the exposed metal and Bryan pinned him to win the match! After the match Kane came out and attacked Bryan! A.J. slid a chair into the ring and Punk used it to bash Kane out of the ring. A.J. was impressed and a little turned on.
NON (WWE INTERCONTINENTAL) TITLE MATCH
WWE Intercontinental champion Christian defeated The Miz: Cody Rhodes joined in on commentary and said Christian sits on the fense because classic and contemporary (a polite way of saying he is old). Just when it looked like Christian would win, Cody got up and distracted him. Miz rebounded, but Christian came back and hit the Killswitch! Christian hit a top rope Frog Splash for the 1-2-3! Cody looked not impressed from his view from the stage.
John Laurinaitis & David Otunga & Eve Torres + Theodore Long: They sent Teddy Long away to get coffee so they could talk. JL got on Otunga’s case about losing to John Cena last week, and Eve’s case for not making Sheamus apologize. Otunga offered to take care of Sheamus tonight. JL said he may want to retire in 20 years and he needs people he can depend on. Long came back with Eve’s coffee and she spit it out saying it was cold. Long said it was ICED coffee!
IN THE RING
The Miz + Randy Orton: The Miz complained. Complained complained complained… and refused to leave the ring until he was treated like a Superstar. Randy Orton interrupted and shut Miz up with an RKO!
Vickie Guerrero & Randy Orton: Dolph said he wanted out of the tag team and wanted to be more like Randy Orton. Vickie said she would see what she could do.
PRE-RECORDED COMMENTS: John Cena talks about Memorial Day..
NON (WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT) TITLE MATCH
World Heavyweight champion Sheamus defeated David Otunga:
The Big Show vs. Brodus Clay didn’t even get started: Before the match, Brodus Clay came out and danced with the funkettes. Big Show came out and said Brodus was embarrassing himself. Big Show said maybe Brodus can be the next Doink The Clown. Big Show said the only difference is Doink actually had talent. Big Show down and speared Brodus on the floor and then beat the crap out of him at ringside while the funkettes watched from inside the ring. Eventually Kofi Kingston ran down, but Big Show knocked him out. Big Show then stomped the announce table and used one of the pieces to repeatedly bash Brodus! R-Truth came down and he got beat up too. Big Show choked Kofi and flung him into the safety barrier. Big Show launched Truth into the ring steps. Big Show then flattened Brodus with a knockout punch! Carnage.