WWE SmackDown 08 15 2008

August 15, 2008 – Norfolk, Virginia
Announcers: Jim Ross & Tazz

DARK MATCH: Elijah Burke (new gimmick) defeated ECW’s Stevie Richards..

Jeff Hardy defeated WWE United States champion Shelton Benjamin by DQ: Montel Vontavious Porter pushed Jeff Hardy off the top rope for the DQ, then went for the big running yakuza kick but missed and accidentally kicked Shelton in the head! Jeff Hardy planted MVP with a Twist of Fate and flattened him with a Swanton-bomb!

Vickie Guerrero & Victoria: Vickie Guerrero was sitting in her office worried about getting ambushed by Edge or the Undertaker when Victoria came in to console her.

Natalya Neidhart & Maryse Ouellet defeated Michelle McCool & Maria Kanellis: Michelle McCool came into the match and was handling both Natalya & Maryse by herself. It caught up to her though, as she focused too much on Maryse, and Natalya used a double-leg take-down to pin McCool (the Divas champion).

THE Brian Kendrick w/Ezekiel Jackson defeated Scotty Goldman: Scotty Goldman is the famous/former ROH wrestler known as Colt Cabana. It’s great to see Classic Colt on WWE TV, but what kind of a name is “Scotty Goldman?” Colt, I mean Scotty, used the famous Butt-butt during the match but the announcers didn’t know what to call it. THE Kendrick was the winner of the match. After the match, Kendrick helped Goldman to his feet so that Ezekiel could destroy him with a running body-check.

Eve Torres & WWE champion Triple H: Triple H started cutting a promo on the Great Khali when Kenny Dykstra interuppted. Triple H said that Kenny picked the wrong day and the wrong guy.

The Great Khali & Ranjin Singh + Triple H: The Great Khali cut a long promo in his native language as the fans repeatedly chanted, “what?” Ranjin Singh translated saying that Triple H is great but no one is greater than the Great Khali. Ranjin said the WWE championship is Khali’s only focus and Triple H was an easy obsticle. Ranjin told Triple H to get out of the WWE while he still has his health. Triple H showed up for his scheduled match with Kenny Dykstra.

WWE champion Triple H defeated Kenny Dykstra: Ranjin Singh joined Jim Ross & Tazz on commentary and the Great Khali stayed at ringside to play mind games with Triple H. Kenny Dykstra was returning from an injury that has kept him out of action for four months. Kenny hasn’t even been on television since January (8 months ago) when he was aligned with Victoria – that seems like forever ago. Triple H squashed poor Kenny like a 230 pound BUG and immediately went after the Great Khali. Ranjin Singh tried to intercept but Triple H grabbed him (Ranjin) and tossed him into the ring. Triple H threatened to punch Ranjin’s lights out until Khali lumbered into the ring. Triple H took the fight to Khali, but could not execute the Pedigree on the Giant from India. Triple H knocked Khali out of the ring and flexed his gigantic muscles.

The Big Show defeated Ryan Braddock: Ryan Braddock was previously known as “Brad Bradley” in IWA Mid-South, Bradley Jay in Deep South Wrestling, Jay Bradley in OVW & FCW, and now Ryan Braddock on SmackDown!. They portrayed him as a confident rookie going against the “biggest athlete in the WWE.” The Big Show hit all his trademark offense but knocked Braddock out with a right hand punch to the face (isn’t that illegal?).

Montel Vontavious Porter: MVP cut a promo on Jeff Hardy, bringing up all of Hardy’s heartships, including his dog (Jack) dieing in a house fire. Lame.

Vickie Guerrero & Victoria: Vickie Guerrero said even after Edge cheated on her she still loved him a little bit, but after what he did to her last week she never wants to see Edge again. Vickie suddenly got very nervous and wanted to leave the arena right at that moment. Victoria got up and wheeled Vickie out of the office.

R-Truth: R-Truth (aka Ron Killings) talked about being in prison and realizing he had to turn his life around and make the nightmare go away. He said you have to dream your future before you can build a future. Today I am strong, but tomorrow I’ll be stronger, and that’s the truth.

Vickie Guerrero & Victoria + Edge: Vickie Guerrero was appauled that the driver of her limo was not around to open her door. Edge popped out of the limo and Vickie freaked out and fell out of her wheel-chair. Edge got down on his knees and verbally harassed his wife and helped her back into her wheel-chair. Edge started pushing Vickie Guerrero around like a roller coaster as she freaked out with terrible acting that makes Torrie Wilson look like an Oscar winner.

Vladimir Kozlov defeated Festus w/Jesse: This was the first person that Vladimir Kozlov has wrestled that he actually measures up with. It was quite a battle of BIG MEN. Festus flew accross the ring, but Kozlov rammed him with a head-butt to the chest.

Edge & Vickie Guerrero: Edge was pushing Vickie Guerrero around in the wheel-chair knocking things over backstage. Vickie’s lame over-the-top bad acting was worse than ever. Her only technique is to squeal like a pig and cover her mouth with her vibrating fingers.

Edge & Vickie Guerrero: Edge wheeled Vickie Guerrero down to the ring and dumped her out of her chair on the ringside floor. Edge sat down next to her and said to look bad and remember the good times. Edge showed a video package highlighting the “good times” that Edge and Vickie had – we need to be reminded? Edge put his arm around Vickie and they laid back on the floor at ringside as Edge got more aggressive and Vickie’s bad acting got more annoying. Edge forced Vickie to apologize to the Undertaker for what they did to him. Edge said Vickie was pathetic (true) and blamed all the suffering of the family on Vickie Guerrero. Edge said his brain is burning from the inside out, but promised that the Undertaker will burn in hell with him. Edge said they shouldn’t wait until SummerSlam, and called out the Undertaker, literally begging him to show his face. Edge said he would show the Undertaker the purist form of hell there is. Edge said that he and Vickie said other vows which also apply to the Hell in a Cell – Edge vs. Undertaker…… TIL DEATH DO US PART! Nice parting shot.