WWE SummerSlam 2007

August 26, 2007 – East Rutherford, NJ (Continental Airlines Arena)

Big Red Machine Kane defeated Fit Finlay -Grudge Match-;
Umaga beat Mr. Kennedy and Carlito -Intercontinental Title-;
Rey Mysterio (return to WWE TV) defeated Chavo Guerrero;
Beth Phoenix won a Tri-branded Divas Battle Royal;
MVP vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin -Summer Beer Drinking Contest-;
John Morrison defeated C.M. Punk -ECW World Title-;
Triple H defeated King Booker -The King of King’s Match-
Batista defeated The Great Khali by DQ -World Title-;
John Cena defeated Randy Orton -WWE Championship-;

Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch defeated Paul London & Brian Kendrick to retain the World Tag Team titles:

Kane defeated Fit Finlay: Hornswoggle showed up and jumped into the ring but Kane sat up and Hornswoggle tried to hide under the ring! Kane grabbed Hornswoggle and dragged him into the ring but Finlay used the distraction to regain the advantage. Finlay whacked Kane with the shillelagh but Kane kicked out after two and choke-slammed Finlay for the win!

Vince McMahon & Jonathan Coachman & William Regal & Theodore Long & Armando Estrada: They were throwing “the biggest party of the summer” and Vince McMahon wanted to know where the women were. Santino Marella came in and hinted that he was Vince McMahon’s son before he was told to get out of there! Montel Vontavious Porter came in and said he wanted to issue an open challenge to Matt Hardy tonight. William Regal hinted that he could be Vince’s son – and Vince said he would never “do” an english woman..

Umaga defeated Mr. Kennedy and Carlito Cool (pinned Kennedy after Samoan Spike):

Rey Mysterio defeated Chavo Guerrero: Rey Mysterio (kinda pudgy) was wearing a silver mask, silver pants, and painted his upper body silver. Chavo Guerrero worked over Rey’s surgically repaired knee to the point where Rey couldn’t stand. Rey went for the 619 and fell down, tried a second time but Chavo moved out of the way. Rey recovered and successfully connected the 619 and the West Coast Pop to finally defeat Chavo!

Todd Grisham & King Booker & Queen Sharmell: King Booker said Rey Mysterio was triumphant over Chavo Guerrero and had a fairytale dream come true. King Booker said that HHH’s fairytale will be a disaster and promised HHH will bow down to King Bookah!

Beth Phoenix eliminated Michelle McCool to win the Battle Royal!: WWE Women’s champion Candice Michelle sat at ringside to scout the next challenger for her title. Participants: Maria Kanellis & Beth Phoenix & Melina Perez & Jillian Hall & Mickie James & Victoria & Kristal Marshall & Torrie Wilson & Michelle McCool & Kelly Kelly & Layla El & Brooke Adams…. Kristal Marshall was eliminated by Michelle McCool (one of Kristal’s bridesmaids for her upcoming wedding). The final four were Torrie Wilson (SmackDown!), Melina Perez (RAW), Michelle McCool (SmackDown!), and Beth Phoenix (RAW). It came down to Beth Phoenix (RAW) eliminating Michelle McCool (SD!) to earn a future title shot!

WWE United States Champion Montel Vontavious Porter + Matt Hardy + Stone Cold Steve Austin: Montel Vontavious Porter came out and said that nobody bought a ticket to see a bunch of Divas (so true!). MVP challenged Matt Hardy to a beer-drinking contest in the middle of the WWE ring. Matt came to the ring and both guys cracked a can of beer open but Hardy wanted to say something. Matt said he was a normal guy and proud of it, but he’s not going to try to out-drink MVP tonight. Matt said MVP was allowed to pick a substitute for the boxing match on Saturday Night’s Main Event, so he has picked a suitable replacement and he’s one of the all-time greats in beer drinking. (Broken Glass) Stone Cold Steve Austin came out and toasted Matt Hardy and immediately drank a can of beer! Stone Cold bounced off the ropes, did some push-ups, and jumping jacks, to get warmed up for the contest. Stone Cold was ready to start but he kicked MVP in the gut and gave him a Stone Cold Stunner! Steve Austin then started cracking open multiple beers and threw himself an old fashion beer bash!

Vince McMahon & Jonathan Coachman & William Regal & Theodore Long + Cryme Tyme + Ron Simmons: Cryme Tyme came in and said one of them could be Vince’s son because they like “money money, yeah yeah!” Cryme Tyme, Jonathan Coachman, Theodore Long, and William Regal started dancing around Mr. McMahon.. Ron Simmons entered the room and everything went silent and Simmons looked at William Regal and said DAMN!

John Morrison defeated C.M. Punk by pinfall with his legs on the ropes for leverage!:

Triple H defeated King Booker w/Queen Sharmell: Triple H got an entrance worthy of a WrestleMania. I was surpised that he was less bulky than before! Triple H did a crotch chop. Booker blocked the Pedigree. HHH ducked a spin kick and connected with the Pedigree to win!

Batista defeated The Great Khali w/translator Runjin Singh by intentional DQ: The fans started chanting “Boring!” and Micheal Cole said the fans were just disappointed that Batista was losing. The Great Khali’s translator slide a steel chair into the ring and Khali blatantly used it to get disqualified! After the match, Batista speared The Great Khali and then whacked Khali multiple times with the steel chair!

Vince McMahon & Jonathan Coachman & William Regal + The Fabulous Moolah & Mae Young: Vince McMahon was still in search of the woman who filed the paternity suit against him when someone arrived. William Regal brought in Moolah & Mae Young and Regal said Mae wanted to have relations and have Vince’s child! Mae Young tackled Vince onto the couch and started kissing him as The Coach and Regal pulled her off! Vince decided that he liked the taste in his mouth saying “Old chicken makes for good soup!”

John Cena defeated “The Legend Killer” Randy Orton to retain the WWE Championship: The fans were solidly behind Randy Orton (heel), cheering all of his offense and booing John Cena (babyface) the whole time! Orton dominated Cena, but Cena dodged the deadly punt kick from Orton. Cena applied the STF-U on Orton, but he managed to reach the ropes to break the hold and got up and nailed Cena with a spectacular RKO!! Cena kicked out after a 2-count and got up and nailed Orton with the F-U and pinned him 1-2-3!!

Rob Boor wrote: After the WWE Summerslam went off the air, John Cena grabbed a sign from the crowd which read “If Cena Wins, We Riot” and brought it into the ring. He then proceeded to raise the sign up for everyone to see. Cena then dropped the sign and motioned for the whole crowd to rush the ring. This, in my opinion, was a ballsy move by Cena. Only a few beer bottles were thrown but no WWE fans actually rushed the ring. In my opinion, this shows that WWE fans are smart enough to bring signs like that in but can’t back it up when Cena invited them in, especially after the show was over.