April 5, 2009 – Houston, Texas OFFICIAL QUICK & DIRTY LINE-UP:
The Colon Brothers defeated John Morrison & The Miz (Unification)
C.M. Punk won the 5th Annual Money in the Bank Ladder Match
~C.M. Punk vs. Kane vs. Mark Henry vs. Montel Vontavious Porter~
~Christian vs. Finlay vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin~
Santina Marella won the 25-Diva Miss WrestleMania Battle Royal Chris Jericho beat Jimmy Snuka & Ricky Steamboat & Roddy Piper
~Chris Jericho beat up Ric Flair … Mickey Rourke knocked out Jericho~ Matt Hardy defeated Jeff Hardy (Brother vs. Brother Extreme Rules Match)
Rey Mysterio defeated John Bradshaw Layfield (WWE Intercontinental Title)
Undertaker defeated Shawn Michaels to extend the streak 17-9 (Dream Match) John Cena defeated Edge (c) and The Big Show (World Heavyweight Title)
Hall of Fame 2009 Introductions plus a Stone Cold Steve Austin beer bash! Triple H defeated Randy Orton w/Legacy (WWE Heavyweight Title)
WWE/WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE UNIFICATION DARK MATCH WWE Tag Team champions The Colon Brothers w/Brie Bella defeated John Morrison & Mike Mizanin w/Nikki Bella to win the World Tag Team titles: This match was pulled from the PPV at the last minute and was presented a dark match for the live crowd.
MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH C.M. Punk (RAW) defeated Kofi Kingston (RAW) and Kane (RAW) and Montel Vontavious Porter (SD!) and Shelton Benjamin (SD!) and Christian (ECW) and Fit Finlay (ECW) and Mark Henry (ECW): As usual there was a lot of crazy stunts with the ladders, but it ended with C.M. Punk becoming Mr. Money in the Bank for the second year in a row!!
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE: Kid Rock performed for 15 minutes..
25-DIVA BATTLE ROYAL (MISS WRESTLEMANIA) Melina Perez vs. Mickie James vs. Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix vs. Rosa Mendes vs. Jillian Hall vs. Layla El vs. Maryse Ouellet vs. Michelle McCool vs. Maria Kanellis vs. Gail Kim vs. Eve Torres vs. Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella vs. Natalya Neidhart vs. Alicia Fox vs. Katie Lea Burchill vs. Tiffany vs. Sunny vs. Victoria vs. Torrie Wilson vs. Molly Holly vs. Jackie Gayda vs. Santina Marella: The winner of the match would be crowned Miss WrestleMania. Kid Rock took up so much time that none of the Divas got introductions; the bell rang and they started fighting! Mae Young was the special guest ring announcer and the injured Candice Michelle accompanied her to ringside. There was one guy in the match and they barely acknowledged it, because it was obviously Santino Marella. In a shocker, the mystery woMAN won and the announcers pretended that they didn’t know who it was. In a shocker, the mystery woMAN won after dumping Beth Phoenix & Melina Perez at the same time. She called herself Santina Marella – Santino’s twin sister. Santina was crowned Miss WrestleMania as girlfriend Beth Phoenix fumed at ringside. Santina started dancing after she was crowned Miss WrestleMania..
3-ON-1 ELIMINATION HANDICAP MATCH Chris Jericho vs. Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka & Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat & “Rowdy” Roddy Piper w/Ric Flair: Hollywood actor Mickey Rourke was shown taking his seat in the front row to support the Legends as they battle Chris Jericho. Ric Flair led his troop of WWE Hall of Famers to the ring. Ricky Steamboat looked awesome. Jimmy Snuka looked old. Roddy Piper wrestled in a t-shirt. Chris Jericho made Jimmy Snuka tap out to the Walls of Jericho. Chris Jericho eliminated Roddy Piper next. It came down to Jericho vs. Ricky Steamboat, as Ric Flair started to get concerned at ringside.. Steamboat did his famous “skin the cat” and sling-shotted himself over the top rope onto Jericho! Steamboat is spectacular! Jericho missed a Lionsault. Moments later, Jericho put Steamboat in the Walls of Jericho, but Steamboat rolled out of it. Steamboat got nailed with the Code-breaker and Jericho pinned him 1-2-3 to win the match. Flair shook his head and ripped off his jacket before sliding into the ring. Flair brawled with Jericho and repeatedly chopped him (wooo!). Jericho back-dropped Flair and gave him a Code-breaker! Jericho kicked Flair out of the ring and asked for the microphone. Jericho said he was the best in the world and just eliminated the Hall of Fame wash-outs and then pointed at Mickey Rourke. Jericho said Rourke plays a tough guy in the movies, but he (Jericho) is a tough guy in real life. Jericho challenged Rourke to come into the ring and fight him. Jericho called Rourke a coward, and he popped up out of his seat. Rourke played to the crowd and took off his jacket (he doesn’t look like Randy The Ram anymore). Rourke took his time getting in the ring, and had some heated words with Jericho. Jericho and Rourke sized each other up, and Rourke started throwing punches like a boxer (his background). Jericho put up his dukes, and threw one punch but missed, allowing Rourke to knock him out with one punch!!! Ric Flair jumped back into the ring and raised Rourke’s arm in celebration. Rourke put his arm around the Nature Boy and took a walk around the ring. If you haven’t already, go see The Wrestler.
BROTHER VS. BROTHER – EXTREME RULES Matt Hardy defeated Jeff Hardy: Jeff Hardy did a twist off the top rope and Matt smashed him on the butt with a chair. A few minutes later, Jeff put a trash can over the top part of Matt’s body and smashed him with a crutch. Another couple of minutes later, Jeff set Matt on a table at ringside, then set up a second table on top of that. Jeff did a psychotic splash off the top rope, through the first table, through Matt, and through the first table. Insanity. A couple of ladders were introduced into the match, to go along with a chair, a trash can, and some other weapons. Jeff set up both ladders, one big ladder next to one giant ladder. Jeff climbed the big ladder and leap-frogged over the giant ladder landing on his ass after Matt moved out of the way. Matt recovered and gave Jeff a Twist of Fate with Jeff’s neck wrapped in a folding chair. Matt scored the 1-2-3 to win the match!! Jim Ross pointed out that Jeff took one risk too many…
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Randy Orton was shown preparing for his Championship match with Triple H tonight with Legacy members Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase Jr. standing in the background….
WWE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH Rey Mysterio defeated John Bradshaw Layfield to win the WWE Intercontinental title: JBL came out and said months ago he declared he would return to Texas as a champion (holding up his Intercontinental title). Jericho said Texas has no champion and proceeded to insult all Texans. JBL said Texas needs hope, and along comes their hero – JBL! JBL said he would give Texas the treat and be proud of the fact that he is their hero. JBL said he would win his match and then hop a plane back to New York still their hero. Rey Mysterio came out with a new mask reminiscent of the Joker. JBL attacked Mysterio before the bell. JBL wanted to start the match as soon as possible. When the bell rang Mysterio had a burst of energy and defeated JBL in about 21 seconds!!!! JBL stayed in the ring as Mysterio grabbed his belt and celebrated all the way to the back.
IN THE RING: John Bradshaw Layfield stood up and said he had something to say… JBL looked around and it looked like he was getting emotional, but then he looked flustered and speechless. JBL got pissed and yelled “I QUIT!” JBL dropped the microphone and peered into the crowd as they quietly sang “na na na na hey hey hey good bye.”
DREAM MATCH The Undertaker defeated Shawn Michaels to extend his streak to 17-0: The pre-match theme seems to be the line “it’s hell trying to get to heaven.” Shawn Michaels had a pretty sweet entrance, being lowered from a above on a small playform in Godlike fashion. The Undertaker had his usual entrance. About fifteen minutes into this classic confrontation, the Undertaker locked on the Last Rites submission – but Shawn Michaels scrambled to the ropes to escape. A minute later, Michaels did a moonsault off the top rope but missed and crashed on the floor. The Undertaker dove over the top rope, and Shawn Michaels pulled the cameraman in the way. It was a scary moment though because Undertaker landed like a dart head first onto the floor mostly unprotected. It took Undertaker an extremely long time to get up and Shawn Michaels desperately wanted to win by Countout. Miraculously the Undertaker got to his feet and slid back into the ring. Michaels went for a super-kick but Undertaker hit a choke-slam, and only got a 2-count. The match continued with Michaels avoiding a Last Ride, but couldn’t avoid a second attempt. Michaels once against kicked out after a two count. Undertaker went to the top rope and missed a flying elbow (one of Shawn Michaels moves). Both men struggled to their feet. Michaels went over the top rope and tried to skin the cat. Undertaker snatched Michaels off the ropes and gave him a Tombstone in the middle of the ring! He only got a two count, and the expression on his face was that of shock and amazement. Undertaker got serious and pulled down his straps (Lawler’s gimmick). Undertaker dragged Michaels to his feet and set up for a second Tombston. Michaels reversed the Tombstone into a DDT. Michaels dragged himself up to the top rope even though he was exhausted. Michaels connected with the flying elbow off the top rope! The Undertaker kicked out after a 2-count. Shawn Michaels set up and connected with an epic super-kick!! Undertaker kicked out after a 2-count!! They began exchanging chops and punches. Undertaker took Michaels down with a boot to the face. Michaels squirmed out of another Tombstone attempt. More classic back and forth action. The crowd is really into this contest. Michaels did a moonsault off the top rope and Undertaker caught him and dropped him with a Tombstone and scored the 1-2-3 to end this sure-fire Match of the Year! The Undertaker is officially 17-0 at WrestleMania.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE 3-WAY MATCH John Cena defeated Edge (c) and The Big Show to win the World Heavyweight title: Chavo Guerrero wheeled Vickie Guerrero down to the ring in a wheel-chair. Edge’s entrance was normal. Big Show’s entrance was normal. John Cena’s entrance was very unique. About 2000 white guys dressed like John Cena marched down and lined the isle and did the “you can’t see me” sign as Cena made his way to the ring. The stock holders will be happy that WWE didn’t blow a million dollars on Cena’s entrance like they did in recent years. There was a group of fans cheering for Edge, so Jerry Lawler said there must be a bunch of fans who traveled down from Canada. A few minutes into the match, Edge was thrown out of the ring and Chavo wheeled Vickie around to check on him. On the other side of the ring, Cena did a leg-drop off the top rope onto Big Show on the floor. Edge recovered and starting fighting Cena in the ring. Chavo got involved in the match, so John Cena gave him an F-U on the floor! In the ring, Big Show got tied up in the ropes and Cena went on the offensive with Edge. Big Show struggled as he watched Cena hit the five-knuckle-shuffle on Edge. Vickie jumped out of her wheelchair and jumped on the ring apron to scream just as Cena was about to hit an F-U. Edge got out and pushed Cena towards Vickie, Edge ran at Cena, who moved, and accidentally speared Vickie off the apron! Big Show escaped the ropes and dominated both Edge and Cena. Big Show choke-slammed Edge. Cena almost gave Big Show an F-U but he failed. Edge jumped off the ring steps and speared Big Show through the safety barrier. Edge and Cena back in the ring and Cena put the STF-U on Edge. Big Show helped Edge make it to the ropes and then dragged Cena out of the ring. Big Show tried to finish Edge with a Bonzai elbow drop but Edge moved out of the way. Cena and Edge wisely teamed up to knock Big Show out of the ring, but Edge quickly turned on Cena. Cena FU’d Big Show, and then FU’d Edge on top of Edge. Cena pinned Big Show to win the World Heavyweight title!!
WWE HALL OF FAME INTRODUCTION: The WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2009 was introduced…. Dory Funk Jr., Terry Funk, “Cowboy” Bill Watts, Howard Finkel, “Birdman” Koko B. Ware, Kevin von Erich (representing the von Erich Family), Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat, and Stone Cold Steve Austin!! The Rattle Snake got emotional and you could see his lip shaking. Austin, who was wearing a suit, left the stage early and came back wearing an Austin 3:16 shirt and drove a four-wheeler down the ramp and around the ring a couple times. Stone Cold drove back up the ramp and then put it in reverse back to the ring. Austin got in the ring and gave himself a good old fashioned beer bash!!! Austin shared a beer with Jim Ross and took his hat ( but then gave it back ). Austin tossed his beer cooler in the ring and proceeded to down some more beers while paying tribute to the fans. Austin got back on his four-wheeler and drove back up the ramp with his fist raised high in the air. Austin cracked open a couple more beers on the stage and drank them before making his exit. How can you not love that man!
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT MATCH: Triple H passed Shane McMahon & Vince McMahon on his way to the ring..
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP GRUDGE MATCH Triple H defeated Randy Orton to retain the WWE Championship : There was a stipulation that if Triple H was disqualified or counted out he would lose his title – that includes use of the sledge-hammer. Midway through the match, Triple H was tempted to use weapons but stopped himself when threatened with a disqualification. Triple H cleared the Spanish announce table and set up for a Pedigree, but Orton back-dropped HHH onto the English announce table. Orton DDT’d HHH off the table onto the floor. They ended up back in the ring and Orton started to punish HHH. Orton hit an RKO. The referee was knocked out and Orton brought a sledgehammer into the ring, but HHH responded by kicking Orton in the head! HHH picked up the sledge-hammer and cracked Orton in the face with it! HHH got rid of the weapon and started punching Orton in the head. Triple H hit the Pedigree and scored the pinfall to retain the WWE championship. Finish kinda fell flat.