Shannon: Final Resolution Predictions

HeadLocker — Jay Shannon

My Final Resolution Predictions

Our resident philosopher, Jay Shannon, gives his thoughts and predictions on TNA’s December PPV.

TNA is offering up yet another monthly Pay Per View. This time around it’s the Frontline ersus the Main Event Mafia, plus another round of Feast or Fired.

I’m not particularly impressed with the feel of this show. I’m expecting major disappointments and Creative playing it safe. Let’s take a look at all the ins and outs of Final Resolution.

The Beautiful People (Angelina Love and Velvet Sky) & Sharmell v ODB, Taylor Wilde & Roxxi

The Backstory: ODB insulted Sharmell on the debut episode of ODB’s Angle. ODB suggested that Booker (Sharmell’s hubby) had left his boots by her (ODB’s) bed. Sharmell went off like a wildcat and accepted a match against ODB. After the fact, Sharmell realized that her facing ODB was like battling a tank with a fly swatter. Sharmell called in Angelina Love and Velvet Sky to help her battle the Trailer Park Princess. The match was then a 3-on-1 battle. On the final Impact before Final Resolution, Taylor Wilde and Roxxi offered to help even up the sides. They didn’t want anything for assisting ODB. The Beautiful People, however, had a request for their services. Love and Sky requested Booker T’s outrageously gaudy locker room as their own if they could help Sharmell win. Booker was hot about the idea, but Sharmell soothed her hubby and the deal was struck.

My Predictions: Taylor’s on a definite de-push, right now. Roxxi is just spinning her wheels in TNA. ODB has had her 15 minutes. This is going to likely be the opener match, so the Main Event Mafia needs a win to set the pace for the night. Since Sharmell is the mascot/valet/den mother of the group, she needs to pin someone to get the night started. I expect ODB to get sprayed in the eyes and Sharmell does a simple roll-up (a slap in the face to Taylor) to take the win.

Predicted Winners: Sharmell, Angelina Love and Velvet Sky
Predicted Grade: C-

Abyss & “The Blueprint” Matt Morgan v Beer Money, Inc.
TNA Tag Team Championship Match

The Backstory: Abyss and Morgan have been climbing the ladder towards the tag belts. Beer Money have been holding onto their gold like a pre-ghost Scrooge. storm and Roode tried to sabotage the team by getting Abyss plastered on Impact. Abyss is being pushed as the weak link of the group.

My Predictions: I’m seriously afraid that TNA is working towards another stupid Innocent corrupted by alcohol story with Abyss. I think that Sunday will be the first chapter in that badly written book. Abyss will stagger to the ring, drunker than a sailor on his first leave (nod to my step-father and his war stories). Morgan will basically have to go it alone for most of the match. Abyss will stumble into the ring to help his partner, only to get taken out by the D-U-I.

Predicted Winners: Beer Money
Predicted Grade: 90 Proof…oops D

Christy Hemme v Awesome Kong
TNA Knockout Championship Match

The Backstory: I must have nodded off during Impact. Somehow, Christy Hemme came from being eye candy in the Rock and Rave Infection to a brief feud with the Beautiful People. From there, she focused on Awesome Kong’s Knockout title. Kong needs more victims, so I guess Hemme is as good as any.

My Predictions: A lot of people might expect a twist in this one. TNA’s new acquisition, SoJo Bolt, could run down to the ring and help Hemme win the gold. It’s not going to happen. This is going to be a match to help push Kong’s brutality and dominance. Hemme will get a few moves in. She might even hit the FFG Leg Drop. When it all comes out in the wash, Kong hits the Awesome Bomb and/or Implant Buster to eliminate the ex-Playboy pretty. Expect Bolt to run out, after the match, to save Hemme from a horrid assault. That opens the door for Bolt v Kong.

Predicted Winner: Awesome Kong
Predicted Grade: C

Eric Young v Sheik Abdul Bashir
X-Division Championship Match

The Backstory: Eric beat Bashir for the belt, a few weeks ago. The decision was reversed due to the ref’s, Shane Sewell, biased officiating. Eric gets another shot at the belt on Sunday. Bashir has already tried to take out Eric to prevent the match from going down.

My Predictions: It all comes down to who wears the striped shirt on Sunday. If it’s Slick Johnson or Earl “I need new glasses” Hebner, then Eric has a decent shot at taking the belt. Since Bashir isn’t part of the Main Event Mafia, Eric gaining the X-belt could help take the Respect War in a new direction. I expect Shane Sewell to be the ref for this one. He will have issues with Bashir during the match. I shiver at the thought of Bashir refusing to compete and losing on count-out without a match even being conducted. Eric would win but not get the belt. The option I’m actually expecting is Jim Cornette comes out and tells Bashir that if he doesn’t defend, he’ll be stripped of the belt. Bashir then strikes Sewell to get himself disqualified. That sets the stage for Bashir v Sewell. No matter which way they go, Eric isn’t taking home the gold.

Predicted Winner: Eric Young (by DQ), Bashir keeps his belt
Predicted Grade: C-

Chris Sabin v Alex Shelley v Homicide v Hernandez v Jimmy Rave v Lance Hoyt v Shark Boy v Curry Man v B.G. James v Cute Kip v Sonjay Dutt v Jay Lethal v Consequences Creed v Petey Williams
Feast or Fired Match

The Backstory: There are 4 briefcases available. There are 3 championship contracts and one pink slip (termination papers). The four men who claim the cases will have to face their fate. Last time out, Christopher Daniels got fired. B.G. James won the tag title shot, Scott Steiner traded away a World title shot for a X-Division shot. The World title shot went to Petey Williams.

My Predictions: This is going to be severely chaotic. I figure that the cases are going to go to Curry Man, Sonjay Dutt, Homicide and Petey Williams. Since Williams is getting ready to feud with the Mafia, I expect him to get the World title. Homicide will end up with the X-Division shot. Sonjay will get the tag title shot and have to find a partner. Curry Man will get his second pink slip (since it’s well known that Christopher Daniels is Curry Man.

Predicted Winners: Curry Man (Fired), Homicide (X-Division), Dutt (Tag Team), Williams (World)
Predicted Grade: A+

“The War Machine” Rhino v Kurt Angle
Special Enforcer: Mick Foley

The Backstory: Rhino has taken the lead as captain of the Frontline group. Kurt is the leader of the Main Event Mafia. Kurt Angle wants to face Jeff Jarrett and has put his career on the line to do it. If Rhino beats Angle, Angle is out of TNA. If Angle wins, he gets Jarrett at Genesis. Mick Foley is going to serve as special guest enforcer to keep the Main Event Mafia at bay.

My Predictions: Kurt Angle is in the hottest clique in wrestling. TNA just released his new DVD. Only an idiot would book him out of the company. Rhino has only won a handful of big matches since joining TNA. He is usually the guy that everyone beats. Kurt was all cryptic about having someone in his corner. I’m expecting one of three people to aid Kurt: Frank Trigg, Christian Cage or Mick Foley. Foley would be the best choice. Trigg is so obvious. I’m not clear on where Cage stands with TNA. I’ve read so many different reports that I’m just not sure. Mick Foley is going to join the Mafia, someday. I feel it in my old bones. Final Resolution might be a good place to have him make his move. No matter what happens, Kurt stays in TNA and faces Jarrett at Genesis.

Predicted Winner: Kurt Angle
Predicted Grade: B+

Sting, Booker T, Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner (The Main Event Mafia) vs. Samoa Joe, A.J. Styles and Team 3D (TNA Frontline)

The Backstory: Team 3D swerved the Mafia and joined the Frontline. They offered to join Joe and Styles to put the Mafia in it’s place. TNA threw in a fun twist in this match. If the Frontline wins, A.J. Styles gets to be the champ.

My Predictions: TNA seems intent to let Sting run with the title for awhile. This match is going to set up the next round of feuds in TNA. I’ve run every possible scenario through my mind over the past few days. The obvious would be Team 3D to switch over to the Main Event Mafia. I’ve also thought about Samoa Joe snapping at the thought of the TNA title going to Styles, not him. I’ve even thought about Sting losing his focus over Styles’ father and all that stuff.

When I forced myself to finally sit down and make a choice, it seems pretty easy. sting will keep the belt. Booker and Steiner are going to do the lion’s share of the actual battling in the match. Booker will take the win over Styles with the Ax Kick after a chaotic end match with everyone getting involved. Styles will next focus on Booker’s Legends title, while Sting moves on to the person who wins the Feast or Fired’s World Title shot.

Predicted Winners: The Main Event Mafia
Predicted Grade: A-

Final Grade: B-
Final Thoughts: Final Resolution is going to be a mediocre show. the fans aren’t going to get what they really want to see. I can only hope that TNA doesn’t botch the Feast or Fired match, like they did the last time. The Mafia is going to come out smelling like a rose on Sunday. The titles are going to stay where they are, with the possible exception of the X-title. This card is just a set-up for Genesis.I know that I’ll be waiting for this one to hit the DVD rental market.

–Jay Shannon
[email protected]
(12/6/08)