The iMPACT (5/14) Insight

HeadLocker — Jay Shannon
The iMPACT (5/14) Insight)
Our resident ring philosopher brings you all the highlights and sidelights from this week’s TNA TV show.

Booker T got ready for his “I Quit” match against A.J. Styles by warming up with a former tag team specialist. Mick also had a video that he wanted to share with the fans. Plus, Awesome Kong would compete in an intergender match against Kute Kip. Let’s get to it.

The show opened with a video promoting the Sacrifice stipulation on the World title match. Sting will put up his wrestling career. Kurt will offer up his leadership in the Main Event Mafia. Mick is putting up his title, of course. A fourth man would join the battle, soon.

This Week’s Episode: Nightmare at the Asylum

Mick Foley came out to talk to the Impact Zone and the home audience. Mick Tenay talked about an incident between Foley and Jarrett, earlier. Mick showed off his TNA title. Mick talked about the other people that he was going to fight. Mick then switched to talking about Jeff Jarrett. Mick said Jarrett would not be a part of Impact, tonight, for the first time. Mick said he was partially responsible for Jeff’s absence. Mick said that there was a DVD of a ugly incident that happened in Nashville. Mick showed off the disc. Mick didn’t know if he should play the dark and disturbing footage. The crowd chanted “Put it on!” Mick said that the fans deserved to see what was on the DVD. Mick said that his thoughts were focused on Jeff Jarrett, tonight.

JB talked with the Main Event Mafia. Kurt Angle was missing. Kurt was in Hollywood to do a movie. Scott took over as the mouthpiece of the Mafia. Scott rambled about being the Lion King. Scott put Booker up against Jethro Holliday. Kevin talked that Jenna would back the Mafia, if Sharmell was exiled from the Mafia. Booker was irate at the thought of his wife being booted from the group. Scott tried to play peacemaker. TNA went to break.

JB chatted with Mick in the office. JB asked what was on the DVD. Mick blew him off as he removed a picture of Jeff from the wall. Mick wanted JB to teach him “the eyes” and he would tell him what was on the DVD. JB started talking about Three’s Company and other weird stuff.

Eric Young came in and tried to get some attention. EY demanded a chance to prove himself. Mick booked EY against Samoa Joe.

Tenay sent it to last week, when Lethal Consequences accused (Christopher) Daniels of being Suicide. Daniels Daniels made fun of Creed, who was beaten bu Suicide. Daniels said that he wasn’t Suicide. Daniels then accused Jay Lethal of being TNA’s biggest joke.

Chris Sabin, seconded by Alex Shelley, came out for the first match of the night. Sabin was set to battle Daniels.TNA has dropped by Daniels first name and his Fallen Angel nickname. I have to assume the removal of The Fallen Angel nickname may well have to do with Nancy Benoit, who spent many years as the Fallen Angel.

Daniels d Chris Sabin

The Finish:

Daniels nailed the STO as Lethal cheered Sabin on. Daniels tried for the Angel’s Wings but Lethal reached under the ropes and grabbed Daniels’ ankle. Sabin whipped Daniels to the ropes and followed him in, catching him with a Kneelift to the ribs. Sabin went to the High Rent District and blasted Daniels with a Springboard Clothesline. Sabin tried for the Cradle Shock but Daniels fought free. Sabin Dropkicked the knee. Sabin tried for a Tornado DDT off the ropes but Daniels blocked it. Daniels nailed Shelley, who had crawled onto the apron, with a Flying Fore-arm. Daniels blasted Sabin with an Enziguri and Uranage Slam. Daniels hit the BME to take the win!

Grade: A

Jay’s Thoughts: Daniels looks great and wrestles great. The problem is that he just seems a bit lost in the whole TNA landscape. Over time, he will likely work his way back to the top of the rock. Right now, he just seems to be spinning his wheels. This whole Suicide storyline really isn’t helping his return. I will hope that Styles drops the Legends belt at Sacrifice and then starts tagging with Daniels. They would be a great addition to the tag ranks.

TNA ran a video package about Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett talked about sacrificing it all to create TNA. Jeff said it was more than a passion, it was his life.

Mick and the refs were talking backstage. Mick dismissed several of the refs for a match. Mick talked about Earl Hebner being shifty. Mick brought up the Montreal Screwjob. Mick told Earl that Joe was not to be disqualified, no matter what. Mick wanted revenge against Eric for crossing him.

Scott Steiner talked with Jenna. He asked her to stop the battle against Sharmell. Jenna told Scott to tell Booker to pull in the reins on Sharmell. Scott offered to set up a meeting between the two women to work out their differences.

TNA ran the Mick Foley Sacrifice video package.

Don and Mike talked the rest of the night’s card. They then sent it to Lauren, who talked with Angelina Love. Lauren mentioned that Awesome Kong had decimated the Beautiful People over the past two weeks. Love got irritated when Lauren suggested that Love was begging someone to come in and help her against Kong. Love said that, last week, she was talking “to the only man I can trust”…Kute Kip. Kip came out and said that he was back in TNA to stop Kong. Kip said he did not like Kong stretchering out “his girls”. Kip challenged Kong to a stretcher match for later in the show. Kip said he was “keeping it real”.

The Cross The Line Cam followed Jeff Jarrett and his kids around. Jeff and his youngest played on a Jet Ski and then talked about dance class. It was cute, but what it had to do with wrestling is beyond me.

Back to action (finally). Eric Young did not look happy as he came to the ring. Joe came out with his head draped in a black towel. Joe has been talking with a mystery man, lately.

Samoa Joe d Eric Young
No DQ Match

The Finish:

Eric and Joe fought on the floor. Joe grabbed a chair but Eric slammed Joe’s face into the steel. Joe threw the chair at Eric’s head. Joe rolled Eric back in the ring. Joe threw a hard fist. Eric tried for a Roll-up but Joe converted it into the Kokina Clutch. Earl finally called for the bell when he determined that Eric was out cold.

Joe picked up Eric and carried him out of the arena. TNA went to break. Out back, Joe threw Eric into the trunk of the black car. Joe told the driver to take off, with Eric in the trunk.

Grade: B

Jay’s Thoughts: Poor Eric. He’s gotten so done over by TNA. I actually hope that the the kidnapping of Eric, which followed this match, will lead to a new, tougher Eric. As for Joe, he just continues to slide further and further down the ladder. I hope whoever the “mystery man” in the black car is, he helps Joe’s career. I have my thoughts on who it is, but it’s a little too early to tell.

Mike Tenay talked with Sting. Tenay admitted to being surprised at Sting putting up his career. Sting said that it seemed like the right thing to do. Sting said he came to TNA for respect and change. Sting said he underestimated Mick Foley. Sting admitted that it would be “All or Nothing” for him at Sacrifice.

Don West talked about upcoming shows. TNA then sent it to Taylor Wilde and Lauren at the restaurant for Taylor’s date. Taylor still didn’t know who her date was. Daffney showed up as the “mystery date” and attacked Taylor. Daffney said Taylor would battle her in the Monster’s Ball match at Sacrifice. Lauren got Daffney to back off as TNA went to break.

TNA sent it to another video package with Jeff Jarrett and his kids. I agree with Don West’s comment of “Yawn”. Jeff picked up his older two kids at school. They made fun of Booker T, calling him “Booger T”. Jeff got several shots in on Mick Foley during this boring video piece.

Returning to the ring, Kute Kip showed up for the Hour Turner match of the night. He was set to battle Kong in a Stretcher Match. Kip had Angelina Love with him. Kong then came out with Raesha Saeed as her second.

Awesome Kong d Kute Kip
Intergender Stretcher Match

Before the bout, TNA showed Kong’s dismantling of Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky. Kip looked at the stretcher and got back in the ring. He hopped around and stared at Kong. Kip moved Kong to the corner but gave a clean break. Saeed distracted Kip, which allowed Kong to Splash him in the corner. Kong then hit the Kishi Rump Shaker on Kip. Kip Goozled Kong and tried for the Uranage. Saeed rushed in the ring and hit the Low Blow. Saeed slid a chair in the ring. Kong walloped Kip, twice, with the steel chair. Kong then slid the chair around Kip’s head. Kong hit a pair of Big Splashes onto the chair. Kong rolled Kip onto the stretcher for a ridiculously quick Squash.

Grade: C

Jay’s Thoughts: Eric Young thought he got a raw deal? Kip, once one of the best tag men in the business, is now reduced to jobbing to Kong? Kip really needs to head back to the WWE and reunite with HHH and Shawn as an expanded D-X. It really says a lot about the Knockout Division to see Kong playing part of this silliness. She is such a better talent. She’s unlikely to be scouted for the WWE, thanks to their desire for talent-deprived, plastic princesses. That’s rather sad. A match pitting Kong against Beth Phoenix could steal any show. Such is life in the mixed up world of pro wresling.

In the back, Scott talked with Sharmell. Scott lied and said that Jenna would apologize. When Sharmell walked off, JB questioned Scott about how he would handle it when neither woman apologizes. Scott just looked confused as the video switched to a talk between Lauren and Team 3D. Ray was talking about how great the tag division was in TNA. He trash talked the WWE, slightly, about having to face the same teams, over and over. Out of nowhere, the British Invasion came out and assaulted Ray and Devon. Sheik Abdul Bashir was with them, as well.

It was time for another video about the night life in Nashville. After looking around for awhile, he ran into JB at a bar that offered offered Nude Karaoke (ok, I’m road tripping to Nashville).

Back to some serious business, it was time for the second Semi-final match in the Team 3D Invitational Tag Team Tournament. The British Invasion team came out first. Brutus Magnus and Doug Williams came out in cool Union Jack tights and robes. Rob Terry was at their side. TNA looked back at B-I’s attack on LAX. They sent Hernandez to the sidelines, with a vicious attack. B-I also took the Feat or Fired briefcases from the Latinos.

Amazing Red made his entrance. Glad to see the kid back in action. The lights went out and Suicide showed up on the announce table, freaking out both West and Tenay. Suicide then slid into the ring,

The British Invasion d Suicide & Amazing Red
Team 3D Invitational Tag Team Tournament Semi-Final Match

The Finish:

Suicide drilled Doug Williams with a Springboard Back Elbow. Suicide hit the Rolling Hills. Red caught Brutus with a Missile Dropkick. The former Gladiator went to the outside. Red then perfectly executed a Flip Dive onto Brutus. Suicide set Doug on the top. Doug shoved Suicide off the ropes. Out of nowhere, Sabin and Shelley rushed the ring and hit Dual Superkicks, as the ref was distracted. Doug hit a Bombs Away Kneedrop off the top rope to move on in the tournament.

Grade: A-

Jay’s Thoughts: I’ll make my first Sacrifice prediction, right now. The Brits are going to win the tourney. I was hoping that TNA was going to partner Brutus with Matt Morgan to form the Gladiators team. I think the pairing with Doug and Big Rob Terry is going to work better. I definitely dig the flag outfits. I’m a major flag person. I have a Union Jack (sent to me from England), a Mexican Flag, US flag, Confederate flag and the framed Texas flag seen in all the World Class DVD promos. Heck, even the character I created on one of the PS2 wrestling games wears tights like the B-I. I would really like to see the Brits get a decent push.

The Guns attacked Red, after the match. Sabin and Shelley signed that they were going to remove the mask. Lethal and Creed ran down to join the Guns. TNA went to break before Suicide could be unmasked.

Jay had the stick. Jay said he was going to unmask Suicide. The four men surrounded Suicide. Suicide started to escape but the four men caught him. The crowd screamed…”Take it Off”. Before they could unmask him, Daniels ran down to help Suicide. The two men cleaned house.Daniels hit the Angel’s Wings on Creed. Daniels and Suicide shook hands. Daniels told Suicide “you owe me one”.

TNA ran the Jeff Jarrett Sacrifice video, again.

JB waited as Sharmell and Jenna to make amends. The two were ready to shred each other, as Scott called for help. Too funny.

No Limit came from the back to face Kevin Nash. Nash came out to his own music, not the Mafia’s theme. Nash looked in the best shape that he’s been in in years. There was barely a limp as Kevin walked down the ramp.

Kevin Nash d Yujiro & Naito (No Limit)
2-on-1 Handicap Match

No Limit started with the Double Team. They used various Dropkicks against Nash.. Nash caught Naito off the ropes and hit a Chokeslam. Nash then used various Elbow Smashes on Yujiro. Nash hit a Big Boot on Naito. Nash removed his protective elbow Pad and then detonated the Jackknife Powerbomb on Naito. Nash got an easy pin.

Grade: C

Jay’s Thoughts: Nash really needs to convert over to being a manager. His ring moves are bordering on pathetic. He’s more like Vinnie Vegas than Diesel, these days. Actually, he’s more like an aged Vinnie Barbarino, trying to be the stud with the ladies while making a joke out of himself in the ring.

Nash took the stick. Nash said that the world ran on violence. He said that, at Sacrifice, violence would ride into town under the name…Kevin Nash!

Mick Foley was reviewing the graphic DVD in his office. He has his laptop turned so no one could see it. Foley said that despite TNA’s TV 14 rating, he planned to show the footage.

Lauren talked with A.J. Styles about his upcoming “I Quit” title match against Booker T at Sacrifice. Lauren wanted to know how Styles was preparing for the match. Styles said that he had prepared for this match, all his life. Styles said that his heart was an equal in size to Booker’s ego.

Jethro Holiday came out for the next match. This week, Jethro was living in Maryland. Last week, it was Missouri and before that it was Waxahachie, Texas. Booker T had Sharmell with him for this “I Quit” match.

Booker T d Jethro Holliday
I Quit match

The Finish:

When Jethro wouldn’t quit, Booker pounded on Jethro’s skull. When the ref asked Jethro again, The Outlaw stated “Sharmell looks good naked”. I almost fell out of my chair laughing at that comment. (I would tend to agree with Jethro) Booker had a fit at the insult to his better half. Booker kicked Jethro in the ribs but missed the Ax Kick. Jethro hit a solid kick tot he chest. Jethro beat down on Booker. Booker’s response to if he quit was “Hell No!”. Jethro reversed an Irish Whip. Jethro turned Booker Inside Out with a shoulder. Booker cracked Jethro with a chair as Sharmell distracted the ref. Booker hit the Ax Kick. Jethro finally said “I’m Done” to quit the match.

Grade: A surprising A-

Jay’s Comments: This match was actually fun, despite it being so short. The comments from Jethro were great. I’m just waiting for him to start his singing thing, again. He could do a few songs: Roller Derby Queen (Jim Croce) for ODB. Long Neck Bottle (Garth Brooks) for James Storm, Macho Man (Village People) for Jay Lethal, etc…

Booker, on the other hand, is quickly becoming a lost cause. At least he’s dropped that silly Nigerian accent that he used for awhile. Booker’s another TNA star that would do better to head back to McMahonLand. He’s just too far gone in TNA to be a serious threat to anyone.

Mick Foley was in the production truck. He told the guys to take the DVD and be ready to play it on his command. He told the two guys that if they didn’t play it, they were gone. Break.

Mick Foley walked back down to the ring. Foley warned the video footage was dark and disturbing. Foley sent it to Jeff Jarrett at the old Asylum. Jeff walked around and showed off the place. It felt like Kevin Von Erich touring the Sportatorium. Jeff talked about his grandmother selling tickets and such. Out of nowhere, Mick Foley attacked Mick with an extension cord. Foley stomped down on Jeff and talked about hating Jeff’s old man. Foley grumbled about starving in the Asylum. He complained about making $25. Foley took down Jeff and threw him into a cage door. Mick grinned as he watched himself destroy the TNA Founder. Foley grabbed a steel chair and blith-whapped Jeff’s leg, over and over. Foley did the split personality thing as he left the Asylum. Mick was surprised that the crowd was so hostile towards to him. Mick said that he guess he was partially responsible for the disturbing footage. Mick said that Jeff just learned “Sometimes you can’t go home”.

Segment Grade: D

Jay’s Thoughts: A blind man could see that Jeff Jarrett is going to be the 4th man in the title match at Sacrifice. The attack at The Asylum was a lame concept back in 1989. 20 years later, it’s almost insulting. Mick Foley really doesn’t work as the TNA champ, for me. Heck, I’d be as good a champ as he is, and I’ll only stepped inside a wrestling ring once in my life (to announce at a charity event in my old hometown of Denton, TX).

Final Grade: B

Final Thoughts: There was just way too much fluff video stuff for my liking. The matches were really good but there just wasn’t enough action in the ring. The Jarretts were so syrupy that you could have poured them over pancakes. I’d really like to see TNA rev up the action. There’s a reason I haven’t chosen a TNA star as Wrestler of the Week, in quite awhile. I guarantee you that next week’s choice won’t be coming out of the Impact Zone.

Peace

— Jay Shannon
[email protected]
(5/18/09)