TNA Impact (11/12) Insight

HeadLocker — Jay Shannon
TTNA Impact (11/12) Insight
Our resident philosopher looks at the lead-in to Turning Point edition of Impact

TNA was filled with Legends, this week, including Super Dave Osborne. Dr. Stevie and Daffney put their careers on the line in this lead-in to Sunday’s Pay Per View. Also, the final pieces of the puzzle were cemented into place for Turning Point 2009.

The show opened with a recap of the Hulk Hogan/Dixie Carter alliance. Dixie told the roster to either follow her or leave. TNA hinted about major changes that were coming to TNA.

This Week’s Episode: Three’s A Crowd

In Mick Foley’s office, Mick talked with Super Dave Osborne about SDO’s new show on Spike. Foley also pushed him upcoming book (summer 2010). Dave was allowed to book one match. Dave wanted to book a couple matches but Mick wouldn’t give in. Mick gave Dave his office chair. Jay Lethal stormed in to talk to Mick, only to find Super Dave. Jay recognized him as his alter-ego, Marty Funkhauser. Jay wanted to know who he was facing. Jay called for Hogan. After Jay left, Super Dave and JB got into a discussion about twittering. Super Dave, like me, prefers the phone to twittering and texting. Just ask my grandsons. (smile)

Mick Foley came out to join the announce team for the opening match. Mike Tenay and Taz brought up that Mick was unaware of the relationship between Dixie and Hulk, at first. Tenay mentioned that Foley wasn’t at the big TNA company meeting, last week. Taz questioned Foley about his ignorance of Hogan coming to the company. Before Foley could answer, Dr. Stevie’s music echoed off the Impact Zone. The Zombie Hot, Daffney, walked out wearing a tiny, green, sparkly top hat. The Monster, Abyss, then stormed to the ring.

Dr. Stevie d Abyss
Career Threatening Match (if Dr. Stevie loses, he’s gone from TNA)

Abyss caught Stevie with a huge boot to the face. Both Abyss and Stevie missed Corner Splashes and Abyss rolled up Stevie for a two. Abyss lifted Stevie for a little Shock Treatment. Abyss didn’t get to pull the switch because Stevie went to Abyss’ eyes. Stevie came off the ropes and clipped the knee of Abyss. Stevie stomped on the injured knee. Stevie tried, several times, to pin Abyss. Abyss kicked out. Speaking of kicks, Stevie hit the Big Stevie Kick on Abyss. Stevie couldn’t get the pin. Abyss with the Goozle but Stevie kicked the bad knee of Abyss to get free. Abyss caught Stevie with the Black Hole Slam. Suddenly, the lights went out in the Impact Zone. When they came back on, Abyss was laid out. Stevie crawled onto Abyss to take the pin. Huh?

Grade: B-

Dr. Stevie taunted Abyss as Daffney slid a chair into the ring. Foley left the announce table to help Abyss. Foley was pounding on Stevie and checked on Abyss. The lights went out a second time. There was a fireball, thrown by…RAVEN! Raven hit the Evenflow DDT on Foley. The New Flock was born! TNA went to break.

Jay’s Thoughts: A Hardcore/ECW Reunion? With Raven, Stevie, Rhino, Team 3D and Taz in TNA, it would be easy to set up an ECW faction. With Hogan coming in, could an ECW v nWo 2010 be in the offing? Raven just added all kinds of new fuel to the fire. Welcome back, Scotty.

JB tried to talk with Raven and company. Dr. Stevie took over the stick and screamed at the fans. Stevie said he was in TNA to stay. Raven talked about setting Terry Funk on fire in the past because Foley got involved. This time he decided to burn Foley, directly. Raven went on one of his psychotic rants. “Quoth the Raven…Nevermore!”

Taz and Tenay talked about Hogan, again. Tenay said Sting would address the Hogan situation, next week. It led to a video piece about Sting’s possible retirement. Perhaps, Sting will make a final decision, next week.

Alissa Flash came out for the next match. Her opponent was the Playboy Playmate, Traci Brooks. Tenay talked about how Traci’s future has been thrown into chaos by the dissolution of the Main Event Mafia.

Alissa Flash d Traci Brooks

Traci shoved Alissa and the two then Collar and Elbowed. The danced their way to the corner, forcing the break. Flash choked Traci with the boot. Traci seemed to have an injured arm. Flash went to work on the injured right arm. Tenay stated that the right arm was a disability since birth. TNA hadn’t mentioned it in the past, out of respect to Traci. Alissa with the Shoulder Breaker. Flash with the Clutch DDT. Flash slammed the right arm into the mat and Flash slapped on a modified Fujiwara Arm Breaker to force the submission.

Grade: C+

Traci attacked Alissa, after the match, hitting her with fists and obscenities. Traci called for a trainer to check her arm. A mystery figure walked backstage. The legendary member of the Hart Family would face Jay Lethal, next.

Jay’s Thoughts: I’m hoping Traci ends up back in the middle of the search for the Knockouts title. She reallygot the raw deal with the whole Mafia thing. She also kinda got done wrong by Playboy, as well. She deserves a real break.

Jay Lethal came out to a new Tron video. The music was the same. This was the first Black Machismo Invitational match. Lethal was in his silver Macho robe. He waited in the ring to face…Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart. Neidhart is now billed from Calgary, instead of Reno, NV.

Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart d Jay Lethal
Black Machismo Invitational Match

Jay looked shocked at the arrival of The Anvil. Jim moved Jay to the ropes and pounded away. Jim with a Back Body Drop. The crowd chanted “You still got it!” Jim missed a Corner Splash and Jay hopped up to the top rope. Jay hit an Ax Bomber on The Anvil. Jay’s right thigh was heavily bandaged. Jay with the Savage Punches. Jim caught Jay with a weak Clothesline, which Jay really sold. Jay grabbed Jim by the head and jumped over the ropes. Jim’s throat was brought down over the top rope. (Another Randy Savage favorite). Hmm…could a certain Legend be in the offing to face his imitator? Just thinking out loud. Jay with a big Running Elbow Smash to the face. Jim ducked a second one and lifted Jay for the Powerslam. 1-2-3!

Grade: B

Jay’s Thoughts: It was great to see Neidhart in action. He should be in the WWE Hall of Fame but that probably will never happen. He’ll go in just about the same time Marty Jannetty gets the nod. I can only imagine this is part of Hogan helping his friends.

Lauren tried to discuss with Bobby Lashley about his issues with Scott Steiner. Before Bobby got started talking about his wife, Crystal, someone ran out to tell Bobby that there was an emergency in the truck. Bobby went out with the tech guy. Bobby ran to the truck to see a video from Steiner. Scott said he stayed away from the Impact Zone to smarten up Bobby. Scott suggested that Crystal was in love with him. Scott said he found out that Crystal was in room 305 at the local hotel. Bobby rushed out to go get his wife. Bobby took off in his car. A camera crew followed him. TNA went to break.

Super Dave was on the phone. Super Dave asked about Foley. JB said Foley had been rushed to the hospital for his burns. Super Dave asked JB to put together the best match possible. JB brought up the X-Division, which Super Dave liked.

The Beautiful People came out for an 8-Knockout match. They were joined by Awesome Kong. On the other side were ODB, Sarita, Taylor Wilde and Tara.

The Beautiful People and Awesome Kong v ODB, Taylor Wilde, Sarita and Tara
8-Knockout Tag Team Match

Highlights:

Sky Snap Mared Sarita as the show continued. She then knocked Sky off the apron. Sky missed a Low Dropkick but Sarita didn’t miss hers. During the break, The Beautiful People worked over Sarita’s lower back. Rayne and ODB both tagged in. ODB ran over both Rayne and Sky. ODB also got shots in on Lacey and Kong. ODB got Corner Splashes in on both Rayne and Sky. ODB hit her Bronco Muncher (Bronco Buster) on Sky. ODB then hit the Fallaway Slam on Rayne. ODB Kipped Up, only to be decked by a Clothesline from Lacey. Tara then punched Lacey. Tara got too close to Kong, who popped Tara in the skull. Kong got in the ring and Taylor went for the Crossbody. She might as well have been trying to Crossbody the side of a building, for all the good it did. Kong picked up Taylor and tried for the Awesome Bomb. Wilde got free and attacked Kong. Kong hit a Spinning Implant Buster on Wilde to take the win.

Grade: B

Jay’s Thoughts: Is it me or is the Knockout division getting really boring? The Beautiful People come out, flaunt their sexiness, such as it is, and then stink up a match like cheap perfume. Sarita and Wilde are the first Knockout tag champs but they are dull as dirt. ODB finally wins the Knockout title but no one seems to care.

In the back, JB brought the entire X-Division stars into the office. Super Dave wanted something special for Foley. After the X-Division stars agree, Super Dave dismissed everyone except Don West. Super Dave told West and JB that Homicide (“the guy in the neckerchief”) took some stuff out of the office.

Kurt Angle talked about how great it was that Hogan had joined TNA. Kurt said Hogan knows what works in wrestling and what doesn’t. Kurt said Hogan was incredibly intelligent and would push TNA to the next level. Kurt said Hogan was the “change” in TNA.

TNA went to the hotel room where Steiner was. Lashley ran into the hotel room to check on his wife. Steiner jumped Lashley with a lead pipe. Scott crashed a lamp over Bobby’s head. Scott claimed the Lashley baby had his eyes. Crystal screamed for help.

Kurt Angle’s music went off as Kurt rose from the bowels of the Impact Zone. TNA looked at the attack on Angle, by Desmond Wolfe, three weeks ago. Kurt said his match against Wolfe, on Sunday, might be the most important of his career. Kurt threw major respect to Matt Morgan and A.J. Styles. Angle had no respect for Wolfe for injuring his neck. Angle said Wolfe didn’t take him out and hadn’t proven anything. Angle said he would end Wolfe’s career on Sunday.

Wolfe came on the Tron from a pub. Angle called out Wolfe. Wolfe said he was in TNA to hurt Angle and end his career. Wolfe said he was in TNA to take Kurt’s place in TNA. Kurt talked to Wolfe who didn’t answer. It dawned on Kurt that this was a set-up. He turned to face Wolfe, who had slid into the ring. Kurt ducked the Lariat from Wolfe and nailed a European Uppercut on the Britisher. Wolfe bailed out of the ring after getting bashed. Kurt went out and hit another European Uppercut. The audio from the prerecorded tape kept rolling. Kurt went to town on Wolfe. Kurt grabbed a chair but missed the chair shot. Wolfe with a DDT on the floor. Wolfe picked up the chair and waffled the Olympic hero. Wolfe taunted the knocked-out Angle.

Super Dave was at the announce table for the next segment. After another plug for Super Dave’s new show, Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley and Amazing Red came to the ring. Their opponents were: Kiyoshi, Sheik Abdul Bashir and Homicide. Homicide was carrying a flag-wrapped package. Homicide set it on the announce table and told all three at the announce table to leave it alone.

The Motor City Machine Guns and Amazing Red d the World Elite
Six-Man Tag Match

The Finish:

Homicide came back to the announce table. Homicide took the flag off what had been previously called “roses” to reveal Mick Foley’s barbed wire bat! Security jumped all over Homicide. Kiyoshi and Bashir double teamed Shelley. Shelley fought back and crawled to his corner. Red took the tag and hit a Dual Missile Dropkick on both World Eliters. Red hit a Jumping Spin Kick on Kiyoshi and Bashir. Red blocked the double team by Kiyoshi and Bashir. Red rolled over Kiyoshi’s back to kick Bashir. Red with a Tilt-a-Whirl Tornado DDT. Red with a Twisting Corkscrew Plancha on Kiyoshi. The Guns hit a Sandwich move on Bashir. Sabin held Bashir in a Neckbreaker, while Shelley flew off the top rope with a Crossbody. I’m sure they will come up with a name for that move. Mine? Impressive.

Grade: A+

Jay’s Thoughts: These are the guys who are going to save TNA from the Hogan Invasion. These men are fast and agile, unlike most of the fossils that Hogan will drag with him into the group.

Lauren talked with Desmond Wolfe. Lauren felt Wolfe might have Kurt’s number. Wolfe didn’t want Kurt’s number, he wanted to replace Kurt. Wolfe said he was a healthier version of Angle. Wolfe swore he would finish the job on Sunday.

TNA looked, again, at Dixie Carter’s address to her troops.

Team 3D came to the ring with their IWGP tag belts. Rhino was with them. Brother Ray talked about Dixie calling for change. Ray said Team 3D was on board with Dixie. Ray talked about taking a chair to Matt Morgan and Hernandez, last week. Ray said he was glad he did what he did. Ray apologized to Rhino for not wanting to believe Rhino’s thoughts about being replaced by the young guys. Ray said Team 3D and Rhino wouldn’t let them get away with it. Ray then called out Morgan and Hernandez.

Hernandez and Morgan came from the back. Morgan said that Ray should come to them,not the other way around. Ray mocked Morgan’s status in the company. Ray called Hernandez “an uneducated Mexican with no green card”. Ouch. Hernandez said he and Morgan took what they’ve gotten in the company, because they can. Ray called for a six man street fight at Turning Point. Ray wanted to know if they had a partner. Morgan called them Team Triple D and Blubber Ray. Devon told Hernandez and Morgan that better get a partner. The call was answered by…”The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero! Dinero put himself in the match. Dinero started preaching about the future being the three of them. TNA went to break after Pope told Devon and the others “The Pope has spoken”.

TNA ran a promo for the Triple Threat World title match between A.J. Styles, Samoa Joe and Daniels. From there, Matt Morgan did a promo for ADHD. 2 of my 3 grandsons suffer from ADHD, so I know what a tough struggle it can be for kids. Morgan told the fans about WWW.CHADD.ORG. That stands for Children & Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.

Lauren interviewed the British Invasion. They would face Beer Money, later in the night. If the Brits were too lose, Beer Money would be placed in the World title match against The Motor City Machine Guns and the British Invasion. The Brits were upset that they were being discriminated against but were determined to fight. Eric Young mocked TNA for not standing behind the suspension that they issued to the British Invasion. Eric said he and the World Elite have no problem with Hulk Hogan,yet. Eric reminded everyone “We Came, We Saw, We Conquered” (spoken in Latin).

Tenay and Taz then ran down the finalized Turning Point card. TNA then went to break. After the break, Hogan did an audio comment about flipping the wrestling world upside down. Don West then ran down some upcoming events.

JB talked with A.J. Styles. JB talked about Daniels being on a different page than Styles. Styles apologized to Daniels for thinking that Daniels had jumped him. Styles said he hadn’t forgotten about the person who jumped him. Styles then went back to Daniels. He accused Daniels of “drinking the Kool-aid”. Styles gave Daniels a title shot, because Daniels asked for it. Styles said he would beat both Joe and Daniels on Sunday.

The British Invasion came to the ring for the main event. Beer Money then rolled to the ring.

Beer Money, Inc. d The British Invasion
Championship Challenge Match

The Finish:

Doug drove his knee into Roode’s back. Taz and Tenay pushed Dixie’s new Twitter page. Doug with a Rear Chin Lock. Roode Elbowed free. The Brits tried for the double team but it backfired. Roode hit a Stereo BuffBuster on Brutus and Doug. Storm got the tag. He threw hard rights at both Brits. Storm with the Jawbreaker and Flying Clothesline on Brutus. Storm used a Slingshot to bring in Doug. He then Bulldogged Doug into the mat. Storm with a solid right to the jaw. Brutus reversed an Irish Whip but Storm flipped him up and over the ropes. Brutus landed on the apron. Brutus got a shot in but Storm answered it. Storm then pulled a page out of Randy Orton‘s playbook with the Rope-Assisted DDT. Doug tried for a Kneedrop to prevent the pin but ended up hitting Brutus, by accident. Beer Money took out Doug with the Double Suplex. They did the Beer Money Dance. Roode caught Brutus with an Inverted Atomic Drop. Roode then Clotheslined Brutus into a Back Stabber from Storm. Somehow, Brutus kicked out of the move. Roode slid a chair in the ring. He wanted Brutus to take it, which he did. Doug stopped him from striking Storm, which would have brought the DQ loss. Roode slid into the ring and Beer Money shoved the Brits into each other. Doug was tossed over the top rope and Beer Money caught Brutus with their DWI finisher. This time, Brutus didn’t get so lucky.

Grade: A

Jay’s Thoughts: There were rumors that James Storm might end up back with Chris Harris. I’m really glad that didn’t happen. Beer Money is destined to go down as one of the best tag teams in wrestling history, if some fool writer doesn’t split them up in the next couple of years. They mesh so well with each other in the ring.

Lauren talked with Roode and Storm, after the match. Roode said, on Sunday, Beer Money would prove they were the best tag team, ever. Storm told both the Brits and the Guns “Sorry about your damn luck”.

JB was with D’Angelo Dinero, Hernandez and Matt Morgan. Hernandez thought Dinero was shady. Dinero said he wore sunglasses because his future were so bright. Morgan wanted to know why he should trust a “street pimp”. Dinero said when he gives his word, it’s golden. Dinero felt that Team 3D and Rhino wanted to keep him down, as well as Hernandez and Morgan. Dinero said the three of them would be pimpin’ on Sunday.

Lauren then chatted with Daniels. Daniels was bitter that Styles thought he could attack him. Daniels said that they would always be friends, but this is business. There are not friends in business. Daniels started whining about TNA not supporting him. Daniels said that Styles wanted to fight him, after he was dropped on his head by Joe.

Speaking of Joe, he came out for a non-title match. This was the actual main event of the night. There were just about 6 minutes left in the show. A.J. Styles then came through the shower of sparks.

Samoa Joe d A.J Styles
Non-Title Match

The Finish:

Joe reversed an Irish Whip but Styles hit a Back Elbow. Styles Back Flipped out of the corner but Joe caught him with a Clothesline. Styles kicked out at two. Joe went for another Powerbomb but Styles rolled over the top. Styles then rocked Joe with a Crescent Kick. Styles called for his finisher but Joe turned the Styles Clash into a Back Body Drop. Styles ducked a Clothesline and hit the Pele. Styles went to the top rope but Daniels distracted him. The two argued as Joe smiled. Styles smacked Daniels in the face. Joe slapped on the Kokina Clutch. Styles passed out.

Grade: B

Jay’s Thoughts: This match deserved a good 20 minutes, not 6. I think there is going to be a huge Daniels v Styles feud after Sunday. I also think Samoa Joe is going to get left out in the cold.

Final Grade: B

Final Thoughts: Turning Point should be called Turning Stomachs. It is lining up to be serious sad, as PPVs go. Much like the WWE, TNA is running far too many PPVs. They don’t give stories the proper time to grow and mature. Angle v Wolfe should have taken 3 months to get to the big battle, not 3 weeks. The whole Knockouts thing is a yawn-fest. I realize that TNA is playing it safe, with Survivor Series running next week but the fans deserve better. This week’s Impact was as good as it could be, considering it was a two-hour informercial for a defective product.

— Jay Shannon
[email protected]
(11/13/09)