Hello Online World of Wrestling visitors and welcome to the fourteenth edition of the Women’s Wrestling Write-Up! I’m Jack White (@Jack5326 on Twitter, getting my plug in early!) and I am currently listening to Adele’s epic Bond theme ‘Skyfall’, which is rather fitting as WWE and TNA have provided us with a very action-packed and entertaining week of competition.
In WWE, we had a match for the Divas Championship and a double dose of Kaitlyn’s ‘walnut-crushing thighs’ in the ring. In addition to the ‘E continuing to deliver when it comes to their storyline, (OMG SHOCK HORROR), TNA pressed on with their Bound for Glory narrative between Tara and Miss Tessmacher with some added spice in the form of Gail Kim. Also this week, we have notable appearances from AJ Lee, The Funkadactyls and there’s also an NXT match that sees Paige and Audrey Marie square off against Kaitlyn and Alicia Fox. Although not the main focus of this week’s action, could the NXT tag steal the spotlight? What will be this week’s Main Event? What will be my OMG of the Week? Well, it’s about time we found out!
We are kicking off this week in the land where rumours of a sex tape are running wild brother…. Before you have images of Hulk Hogan’s 3rd leg doing a leg drop, (WHY DID I GOT THERE?!), I’ll move swiftly on and get into the details of this week’s Opening Contest: Gail Kim vs. Brooke Tessmacher from this past Thursday’s IMPACT Wrestling. Whilst the match is what I’m grading worthy of the title of this week’s Opening Contest, TNA did their usual super shtick of giving us an additional backstage segment, which are always welcomed, even if they are just to make Brooke Hogan seem of some use (we’d rather see Rosita and Mickie be used!) The locker room scene was pretty side-splitting, and featured Brooke Hogan, Tara and Taryn Tarrell.
My Thoughts: Whilst Tara’s character change has been really entertaining and something much more unique than her already done psycho gimmick, I wish her feud with Tessmacher had been just that little bit more personal. But still, this segment was what it was, and it made Mizz Hogan forget about her dad’s sex tape and allowed the Widow’s Peak Freak to let us all know that her Hollywood boyfriend will be at Bound for Glory this Sunday.
After a fun-filled backstage segment, it’s match time. Gail has lost a series of matches to Miss Tess in the past and will the Knockouts Champ prove to be a thorn in her side yet again tonight? Let’s see.
My Thoughts: What a stellar contest this was. Gail and Brooke have awesome chemistry together and once again, they showed the world how good they can be together. This match was very close to being the Main Event and the fact that it isn’t shows you the calibre of the matches we have in store this week.
The action was as sharp as a nail and as clean as a whistle. Whilst some of it was similar to what we have seen before, (obviously considering we’ve seen this match 943783434643963 times before), there was still elements of this contest that kept it fresh. Gail’s clothesline that rebounded Brooke into the ropes was really unique in that if that normally happened in a match, it would be a botch, and even if it was in this instance, the commentators covered it well and made Gail sound so dangerous; but hey, she is the TRUE Canadian Ninja after all!
Gail also unleashed a new level of cockiness out onto Brooke’s Extreme Expose bad-self as she rubbed her rear end in Tess’ face, mocking the Champ’s ‘Asstastic’ – hilarious! After that, Brooke then proved she can do unique offense of her own as the way she reversed Gail’s basement dropkick into the catapult was very cool. Speaking of very cool, Gail’s sit-out powerbomb towards the end of the match was stunning. In the end, the obvious happened and Brooke picked up the win thanks to her pancake flattener, a.k.a The Tess Shocker.
Before I get into the aftermath, I just want to say that although I really enjoyed the match, TNA need to use more Knockouts. ODB (without EY) vs. Brooke would have been just as effective in my opinion and would have been much fresher than Gail vs. Tess Mark 438. I will officially start a hashtag in the hope that TNA will listen, although my request is something they’ve ignored for months. #WeWantSarita
Just when I thought it was all over, the Black Widow herself, Tara, struck Brooke – complete with her patented menacing look. I was surprised to then see the former Extreme Expose member get the better of the exchange and leave her jealous former BFF laying but that makes this Sunday all the more unpredictable. Mike Tenay stated that Tara’s mystery boyfriend from Hollywood would be present at Bound For Glory come Sunday and who will it be? He could be an unknown and become the next Claire Lynch, *prays to the heavens*, but with the amount of attention being drawn to him, I see him being a famous wrestling star who will help Tara win the belt. Will I be right? We’ll find out on Sunday night.
Next up, we’re venturing into this week’s Midcard Mediocrity and we’re visiting the red-roped arena, Monday Night RAW. This week’s RAW gave us 3 notable segments with the Divas, two of which are worthy of being slotted in this section of the article. Normally, the Divas Championship match that we saw this week would be worthy of being the Main Event, however due to the standard of this week’s action, Kaitlyn vs. Eve is sitting here. But without further ado, here is the match between the girl that looks good to me, Eve Torres, and the girl who is always a hoot at parties, the bottle spinning, Kaitlyn.
My Thoughts: This was a really competent match from the girls and told a great story of how Kaitlyn was having to try even harder. Layla was bloody brilliant on commentary and raised a number of points; like why Eve allowed Kaitlyn to have a title match yet she wouldn’t let Layla have one. Kaitlyn is still slightly injured, so Layla did a superb job of putting across Eve phoniness. As for the match, Kaitlyn was strong and her torture rack, whilst a little sloppy, was a cool feature to the match. Kaitlyn’s height doesn’t enable her to be perceived as a truly dominant Diva yet the rack totally cemented her gimmick as the ‘Hybrid Diva’.
Eve’s Indian Heel Hook variation was also nicely done and it made perfect sense for the match to end due to damage being done to the NXT Season 3 Winner’s ankle. Overall, it was a decent showing from the Divas and when we get to what happened on Smackdown, the storyline gets more interesting than if you played Cluedo with Sherlock Holmes!
Another segment that appeared on RAW saw General Manager AJ Lee speak with CM Punk. In what was a quiet week for AJ since Mr. McMahon was around, it was cool to see her interact with the man she once wanted to marry.
Up next, we’re heading to Friday Night Smackdown. Although there wasn’t a match, Kaitlyn and Layla both made a discovery in the Divas locker room, prompting them to take it up with General Manager, Booker T. What did the girls find? And who tipped them off?
My Thoughts: Good god, Layla was excruciating in that segment. Her performance in this segment is my WTH of the Week. Layla was so good on Monday’s RAW and then for her to be this bad on Smackdown, it’s a shame. I think she was trying a little too hard, but I’ll forgive her. But other than that random outburst of negativity, the segment was good – and seeing Teddy Long wearing the blonde wig was funny.
What I found particularly interesting was the fact Aksana was said to have found the wig in Eve’s bag, yet the Lithuanian Lovely wasn’t there in person to explain herself. Obviously, this was just so they could extend the storyline for a little longer and Aksana can be confronted at a later date, but still, I am really happy that WWE are now throwing yet another Diva in the mix. I hope Eve wasn’t the attacker as that would a real anti-climax but now with the inclusion of Aksana and yet more finger pointing at Eve; I really don’t see it being her. Maybe now that other Divas are getting involved, I think there’s just Tamina now that somehow hasn’t wound up in all this chaos. Could there be a reason for that? I guess we’ll find out soon.
Next on WWW is the Death Slot and I’m not going to lie, I was clutching at straws this week as nothing we saw was painfully awful. But don’t worry, I did manage to find something I could roll my eyes at! This week’s dreaded segment of disaster features The Funkadactyls dancing with… Little Jimmy. The segment isn’t hideous yet it was just a bit too ridiculous for me. See if you agree or disagree with me!
We’ve seen action from RAW, Smackdown and IMPACT yet once again; the best match of the week comes from WWE’s developmental show, NXT! This week saw Divas of the future scrap against Divas of the present, as ‘Hell In Boots’, Paige and ‘Softcore Country’ (that’s my own nickname but still), Audrey Marie faced the ‘Little English Muffin’, Layla and the sassy and classy, Alicia Fox. Will the main roster talent show their opponents how it’s done or will the young upstarts score a shock victory?
My Thoughts: What a match! This bout had everything to be quite honest; chain wrestling, a desperate Face battling to tag her partner, fresh moves that we rarely ever see and a fantastic finish that put Paige over beautifully. Although I’m not the biggest fan of Audrey’s in-ring skills and her wristlock exchange with Kaitlyn was a little boring, she acted fantastically tonight. I was totally rallying for her when she was being beat down by Alicia and Kaitlyn. Some of her offense was so unique too, including her reversal to Kaitlyn’s Leglock Full-Nelson. Kaitlyn has won matches with that submission before yet Audrey was the first to make something out of it in the form of her own pinfall. Her Winnick Throw was also pretty unique and William Regal’s reaction was hilarious too. Its moves like that that will earn Audrey a fan base; and good luck to her, she’s been given no character at all and she’s stepping up her in-ring work.
The OMG Moment of the Week was the crowd’s reaction to Paige – by god she is over! Her offense was on-point and the way they set up her roll-up was spot on. She was clever enough to knock Kaitlyn off the apron, proving she’s brainy aswell as stunning! Kaitlyn showed her strength, Alicia showed he viciousness (and her reversal of Paige’s finisher was really cool) and overall, I was VERY impressed with how logical the finish was. Audrey has been battered and bruised and it was realistic for, as soon as she came into the ring to attack Kaitlyn, that she would be tossed right back out – very nice! This was Audrey’s best showing for me and all the other girls were class. The future is bright if WWE book the division right, let’s hope they do!
From Winnick Throws to Theodore Long in a blonde wig, we’ve seen all sorts of antics this week. Can next week top that? With Bound for Glory taking place, I’m sure it will. Will we find out the identity of the WWE attacker? Will we find out who Tara’s boyfriend is? Let’s hope I can tick at least one of those boxes come next week. Until then, in the words of Mike Adamle, uno, dos, ADIOS!