The following Women’s Wrestling Write-Up is set for one fall and it is to be written under No Negativity Allowed rules! Hello all, and welcome to the 2nd edition of WWW here at Online World of Wrestling. I am Jack White and although I am not the lead singer of The White Stripes (IT’S NOT EVEN HIS REAL NAME #Thief), I am better as I bring you all the latest Diva, Knockout and Indy news that you need!
This week’s write-up is chock-a-block full of fantastic action that SHUCKY DUCKY doesn’t even come close to describing. I’m struggling to think of what I will award the worst moment of the week this week as everything was so good! This week, I will be looking at Natalya vs Tamina from NXT, Angelina Love vs ODB from TNA Xplosion, the sordid affair involving Dixie Carter and Brooke Tessmacher vs Mickie James vs Tara vs Velvet Sky from IMPACT and A.J even had a little cameo during Smackdown’s main event. So with the itinerary outlined, let’s get on with a terrific tour of this week’s wrestling!
This week’s Opening Contest isn’t really a contest unless you count the scuffle between AJ Styles and Serg ‘Hardcore Country’ Salinas (That’s Dixie Carter’s husband to those not so obsessively interested in Goddess Carter’s life like me) but nevertheless, the second best thing from this week’s TV was the drama behind the private life of TNA’s President!
Lady Carter is seen shouting “YOU ARE FINISHED!” presumably at Kazarian and Daniels and she proceeds to show a chair who is boss by knocking it to one side. Dixie is then seen strutting towards the production cabin and even though she is incredibly angry, she is still incredibly good to the listeners and answers the question of my life, ‘What is the name of the TNA cameraman?’ It’s Brian. After I realise I have been pondering such an anti-climax all my life, I get over it as the director David is next to be slaughtered by Dixie’s tirade of blasphemy and F bombs! Dixie then asks who is responsible for rolling the footage and demands that David (whose 15 minutes of fame are pretty epic) stop looking at her with ‘those eyes’. I imagine the type of eyes she likes to look into are A.J Styles’ come to bed eyes!
We then cut a more calm and collected Carter in the ring and she says that she has been thinking of what to say all week and she knows that someone will be hurt. She then goes to onto say how she feels sorry for Kaz and Daniels as they are so full of hate that they are ruining innocent lives. I’ve just studied Media Law at university and Dixie love, you’ve been portraying a false image for so long now so if Kaz and Daniel were journalists, you wouldn’t be able to sue them, so good luck trying to at least fire them! Dixie then uses a metaphor that Shakespeare would be jealous of as she mentions a big rock being thrown in a serene pond (massive innuendo for her and AJ). She says she will tell the truth tonight but she is cut off by the music of Daniels and Kazarian.
Things get heated between The Fallen Angel and Queen Carter and Daniels shoves Dixie to the ground. A.J Styles then runs and makes the save as the heels flee the ring. Suddenly, the man whose surname is responsible for being the influence of Shelley Martinez’s former character hits the ring (That’s Dixie Carter’s husband to those not so obsessively interested in Goddess Carter’s life like me) and he checks on his wife. Then out of nowhere, Serg decks A.J with a Big Show-esque WMD! Ok, it was just a decent punch, but wow, what a night of drama!
My Thoughts: If you couldn’t already tell from my positivity as I recapped the segment, this opening to IMPACT was beyond epic. From F bombs, to bizarre metaphors to singers punching phenomenal ones, this segment had everything that makes a wrestling storyline entertaining. It is also different to past Employee vs Boss storylines as the Boss is female and she is also in the wrong, even though she is a Face. This week makes me excited about what is to happen next and how Serg and Dixie will impact (excuse the pun) the A.J/Angle vs Daniels/Kaz tag title match at Slammiversary!
Next, we are entering the Midcard Mediocrity section of WWW and up first, we have Natalya vs Tamina from NXT. Can Tamina rebound from her loss to Kaitlyn last week or will Nattie make Tamina tap for the second week in a row? Find out below!
My Thoughts: This match, although in the Midcard Mediocrity section, was only mediocre because there was no storyline substance to it. The match really nice in my opinion and I liked how not only was it technically sound, Natalya also showed off a character in the match. From the pre-match wave to the nonchalant pin attempts to the trash talking when applying the abdominal stretch, Natalya showed how she isn’t just the typical Heel with no personality, she is cocky and confident. Speaking of the abdominal stretch, what a simple idiosyncracy for Natalya to grab Tamina’s leg whilst applying it to make it that more painful. I really, really enjoyed how something so simple could make the move that much more painful.
Tamina was also trigger happy with chops in the match and Nattie took some stiff shots, which I loved. Tamina’s comeback was also unique by reversing the Sharpshooter and kicking Natalya out of the ring allowing her to eventually seal the deal with the Superfly Splash. Overall, a great showing from both women who both deserve more than what they have at the moment.
The second and final part of this week’s Midcard Mediocrity is A.J’s inclusion in the Smackdown main event from this past Friday. Check it out below.
My Thoughts: We all know A.J’s past with Daniel Bryan and her recent infatuation for CM Punk but flirting with Kane too? WWE is doing everything and more with A.J right now and I CANNOT fathom what she is going to do next. On Monday, I thought she was perhaps working with Kane yet tonight she cost him the win, throwing a 10,000th spanner into the works! What’s going to happen next week? I doubt even Sherlock Holmes could guess!
Next up, it’s THE DEATH SLOT! DUN DUN DUN! Ok, I don’t know why I’m trying to be more dramatic that Dixie Carter’s love life as I cannot physically do that so let’s just get on with the worst moment of the week, which to be honest, isn’t that bad. The barely watched TNA Xplosion often gives us rare Knockouts gems but sadly this week, they gave us a lump of coal as Angelina Love squared off against ODB. See what happened below and you have been warned, there is a lot of ODB slapping her bits!
My Thoughts: This match was alright but just felt kind of boring to me. Some of ODB’s signature moves (like the Fall Away Slam) weren’t the match and I didn’t care too much for Angelina’s offence either. There was a commercial break in the middle of the thing which made things even worse as the match was quite short for Knockouts standards and Eric Young’s constant involvement is just excruciating to watch and most of the time, Angelina didn’t take advantage of when the ref’s back was turned, so I felt this was a waste opportunity.
This match also brings me to my WTH of the Week. I’d like to ask right now, WHAT THE HELL are TNA doing with Angelina Love?! As much as I’m not her biggest fan, she is a 5-time Knockouts Champion and she is stuck as the least interesting character on the IMPACT roster. Her split from Winter was completely unexplained which really irked me and now Angelina seems to be stuck in creative Limbo. Is she a Beautiful Person again? Is she still a drugged up psycho, just not under the guidance of Winter? It’s not too late for TNA to explain what went on between ‘Angelinter’ and I think those two deserve the screen time to explain what went down.
Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s time for your Main Event of the evening! This week’s ME is courtesy of TNA IMPACT and is a Number 1 Contender’s Fatal 4 Way match. Who will face Gail Kim at Slammiversary? Find out below.
Brooke Tessmacher, Mickie James, Tara and Velvet Sky are seen talking backstage before Brooke Hogan takes centre stage and seriously licks their arses about how beautiful they are. Brooke announces the 4 way match and rambles on like how non-wrestlers talk to wrestlers and she says that the Knockouts are tough and could knock her out. Cue laughter from the Knockouts (hahaha, no) and then Hogan mentions that now she is in charge, the Knockouts will be getting more media coverage and it’s going to start with Velvet Sky appearing in some country music band’s new video, Montgomery Genitalia or something. Our Queen of Country Mickie James is not impressed and if looks could kill, Velvet would be long gone!
(Skip to 28:40 of the same video)
After a whole body shot of CHRRRRRISSSSSSTTEEEEE HEUUUUMMEE (as she would announce herself), the Knockouts enter the ring for their match. ‘Hardcore Country’ is first down the ramp and she looks stunning tonight. Following the music legend that brought us the classic ‘Strangers And Angels’, the woman who sets pigeons free across the world, Velvet Sky enters the Impact Zone. Next to the ring is a newly renamed Miss Tessmacher (to stop confusion between her and Brooke Hogan) and she has a new tron and t-shirt, which she proceeds to throw on the camera lens. So hot. Last but not least, Tara or as Christy Hemme calls her ‘TAAAA’ struts her way to the ring and the match is under way.
TNT trade a series of blows with Mickie and Velvet with Tara knocking down Mickie and Velvet knocking over Brooke. Tara then turns her attention to the pigeon exclusive version of Snow White and her and Brooke whip Vel Vel across the ropes, only for Velvet to kick Tess in the chest whilst Mickie thrusts Tara to the mat with a hair pull. Mickie and Velvet then clothesline the former Knockouts Tag Team Champions before they turn their attention to each other. Knockouts Champion Gail Kim makes her presence felt in the Impact Zone which distracts Velvet. Mickie rolls up Vel but she only gets a two count. Mickie tries to pin Velvet again as we go to a commercial break.
And we’re back and what a way to return from a commercial break. Tara has Velvet in the Tarantula submission and Mickie charges along and slams Tara in the face with a Baseball Slide Dropkick. Gail Kim is introduced to the commentary table as Mickie James looks to be setting up Velvet Sky for a Mickie-DT but Tessmacher rolls up Mickie for a near fall. Gail proceeds to start off my OMG of the Week as she starts to exude charisma as if it was air she was breathing! Gail informs Mike Tenay that she has beaten all 4 of these girls before and she is the longest reigning champion in Knockouts history. Meanwhile, Miss Tess hits a sick neckbreaker on James and goes for a pin but Sky breaks it up. Gail continues to make me laugh as she professes that she is a legend and it is a privilege for anyone to step foot in the ring with her. Amen to that Gail!
Velvet and Tessmacher trade blows back and forth before Velvet dumps Tessmacher out the ring like a piece of rubbish and Tara sneaks behind Velvet with a schoolgirl, but only gets count of two. Gail Kim then says that the fans love her (we do!) and she is to start a trend #AskGail after the match and she will answer the fans’ questions! In the meantime, Tara’s shoulder is answering the nightmares of Velvet’s stomach as the Widows Peak Freak batters Sky in the corner. As Gail continues to sing her own praises like a true heel champion should do, Tara applied a Boston Crab to Velvet. As the pigeon lover is writhing in pain, Mickie James then fixes a Dragon Sleeper on Tara! Then, a double submission turns into a triple one as the teasing and touching Tessmacher locks a headlock on Mickie! Tazz more or less ruins the moment by describing it as a “hot Octopus” as apparently Octopi have 16 legs now and as the move breaks down, Velvet gets a two count on Tara.
TNT are thrown out of the ring as Gail Kim labels herself a ‘ninja’ (#DEAD) whilst Velvet hits Mickie with a Headscissor Takeover. The former BFF of Lacey Von Erich then runs toward Mickie, but is caught with a flapjack by the 2-time Knockouts Champ. The 5-time Knockouts Champ is then dumped hard out of the ring by Tara who then goes for a top-tope Moonsault on Velvet! Tara flips… but MISSES and although Gail nearly bigs Tara up by describing the move as “kind of athletic”, she states that she never crashes and burns.
Tara is then face-to-face with her TNT partner and the two start knocking the daylights out of each other! The former Victoria gets the better of the exchange and manages to hit the former Extreme Expose dancer with her Spider’s Web Sidewalk Slam. Tara then goes for her shimmy moonsault but Velvet attacks her and delivers a sharp looking DDT. Velvet turns around and HARDCORE COUNTRY nails her with a Thesz Press. Mickie then knocks the Montgomery Gentry out of Velvet with a Mick Kick but then starts talking trash instead of covering her. Mickie has her back turned away from Brooke Tessmacher who then delivers a SICK looking Tess Shocker and gets the 3 count!
My Thoughts: WOW x 287. This match delivered on every level. We had tag team partners squaring off, high flying action, stiff physicality, some incredible selling (Mickie made the Tess Shocker seem like a gunshot) and some superb character development from Mickie and most importantly Gail. Gail’s brilliant banter is definitely my OMG of the Week because for years, some mutes has spoken more than Gail and tonight she just let all of the character from inside of her out. Gail has the sarcastic heel down to a tee and often commentary takes away from what is going on in the ring, but Gail’s complemented the match perfectly. I am seriously looking forward to Slammiversary now and I do believe that Brooke will Tess Shock the world and pick up the gold in her hometown.
And on that predictive notion, the second Women’s Wrestling Write-Up is done and dusted. Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter at @Jack5326 and remember to join me again next week for your one stop shop for everything Women’s Wrestling. See you later!
– Jack White
Jack White is a 19 year old Broadcast Journalist studying at the University of Sunderland in England. After being a wrestling fan for over 10 years, Jack took to Twitter to express his opinions and from there, he ended up being a panelist on the former weekly wrestling podcast ‘This Week in Divas’. Now, Jack joins OWW to showcase his enthusiasm for pro wrestling in the form of the Women’s Wrestling Write-Up.