Welcome to the Armpit wrestling quiz for the week of Monday, June 1, 2009. Very sorry we’ve been out for so many weeks, but we’re back now. Things were very busy at my job and I had no time to breathe, but for now it’s back to normal.

In the time this quiz was on hiatus, the biggest heel in the country has become Nancy Pelosi. Pelosi is being accused of lying, and she’s accusing people of lying, and the fingers keep pointing. In (dis)honor of our Speaker of the House, this week’s quiz is on, “Big Fat Lies.”

Oh, and by the way, when Flair “retired” last year, I wrote in this quiz that you’d have to be truly warped in the head to really think he was going to retire. Barely over a year since he “retired,” look who’s back?

Answers from last time:

Ric Flair‘s family was shown all over the Starrcade ’93 PPV, when Flair wrestled Big Van Vader.

-David Flair suffered a serious beating at the hands of the Undertaker.

-Sara Undertaker’s stalker turned out to be Diamond Dallas Page. When DDP unmasked, there was a huge pop in the building. Yet another wrestler and angle WWE dropped the ball on.

-Melanie Pillman once posed for Penthouse. You know you’ve made it in life when you can page through dirty magazines, pick out any girl you like, and arrange to go out with her. How do you think Vince Neil met so many of his girlfriends?

-The Saturday WCW TBS shows were taped at “Center Stage” in Atlanta. It was really a less attractive Impact Zone with tons of squash matches. But before Monday nights were synonymous with cable wrestling, it was all we had.

-Sandman’s son is named Tyler.

Sable once graced the cover of TV Guide. Several others did too, including Hollywood Hogan, Bill Goldberg, Rock, Austin, and Mankind. Wrestling was on fire.

-“Cane Dewey” was a sign someone in the ECW Arena crowd help up shortly after Mick Foley debuted with ECW. Dewey is the name of Foley’s son, and Sandman used to hit a bunch of people with a Singapore cane. The sign bothered Foley to the point he brought it up during his “anti-hardcore” promos in late ’95. Those promos were out of this world, and as Paul Heyman correctly pointed out in the Rise and Fall of ECW DVD, some of the best interviews in wrestling history. I remember watching those promos with my friend in college and our jaws just dropped, while the idiot down the hall (not a wrestling fan) said how boring they were. We looked at him like he was crazy. What’s awesome to one person can be awful to another.

-Of the options we listed: Hogan and Beefcake are NOT brothers, Arn and Ole are NOT cousins, Big Show is NOT Andre’s son, Bob and Crash Holly were NOT brothers, and Hornswoggle is NOT Vince’s son. All the other relationships listed are true.

Here are this week’s questions. No winners will be declared. We’re just doing this for fun and to honor the forgotten world of wrestling history.

1. Hulk Hogan‘s lie in 1991, about only using steroids 3 times (to rehab an injury), sparked one of the most infamous time periods in wrestling history. It eventually led to a federal investigation and trial, in which Hogan testified to being less than truthful when he made that statement. On what late night talk show did Hogan tell that lie on?

2. During that whole media frenzy on steroids and sexual harassment in 1992, give the significance of the figure $1.7 billion. That figure was an enormous lie that the media bought, hook, line, and sinker. Today, no way could that lie go undetected.

3. Shawn Michaels not only lied, he did so on camera. After the Montreal screwjob, Bret Hart walked back to the dressing room and asked Shawn Michaels if he knew about it. Michaels blatantly denied it, and amazingly, Bret looked to believe him. Watch “Wrestling with Shadows” to see it all unfold. What gave it away for me was when Shawn rushed back to the dressing room, acted all upset about what happened, and then at the last minute, raised his hand in victory. Bingo, he knew. Years later, the truth came out. On what WWE TV program did Michaels first admit that he knew about the screwjob all along?

4. Another lie was the screwjob that officially turned ECW from Eastern to Extreme. Shane Douglas won an NWA title tournament, gave a speech in the ring, threw down the belt, and declared himself the Extreme Championship Wrestling champion. The screwee was NWA promoter Dennis Coraluzzo (R.I.P.), who was watching in disbelief from the front row. Heyman’s comment the following week? “He had it coming.” Dennis even cut a short promo for ECW TV about it, which was legit, and probably something he thought wouldn’t end up on TV. I ran into Dennis about a month later, and he still felt really hurt by it. Whom did Douglas defeat in the tournament final to win the title?

Answers will be posted next time.

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