HeadLocker — Jay Shannon
The ECW (3/24) Extreme Exam!
Our resident philosopher, Jay Shannon, looks at the action and drama of another episode of the Tuesday Night Delight, ECW
ECW rolled out the red carpet for the VIP Lounge. Well, at least it’s not the Dirt Sheet. Also, Evan Bourne and Tyson Kidd squared off in a tag team match. Let’s look at all the fun and craziness.
ECW was almost live from Kansas City. Striker and Grisham talked about the VIP Lounge. Before that, Miz and Morrison came to the ring. They had Nikki Bella at their side. ECW flashed back to the confrontation between Miz/Morrison and the Colons. Brie got a face full of apple, by accident. The Bellas went into a Cat Fight that had to make Joey Styles smile. On the other side of the coin, Carlito, with Primo and Brie Bella, came out to battle. Carlito was wearing a Smackdown T-shirt.
Carlito d John Morrison
Carlito sent Morrison to the ropes but the Shaman of Sexy held on. Morrison hit a Flip Kick while holding the ropes but it only grazed Carlito. Carlito Dropkicked Morrison off the apron, into the Lumberjacks. The Lumberjacks, led by Vladimir Kozlov, tossed Morrison back into the ring. Carlito nailed the Back Stabber to take the win.
Jay’s Thoughts: I’m really surprised at how good this tag team feud has turned out to be. It takes me back to the days of the Rock and Roll Express v Midnight Express. Throwing the Bellas into the mix takes it to the next level. I’m thinking that Miz and Morrison will end up with both belts after ‘Mania, but that feeling might change.
Matt Striker and Todd Grisham then discussed the final member of the 2009 Hall of Fame, Howard “The Fink” Finkel. I have to say that Fink’s inclusion was seriously over-due. He is the ultimate voice of the WWE. While Tony Chimel is acceptable as a ring announcer and I will always lust after Lilian Garcia, they are just no Fink. He is the voice of Wrestlemania and every other major event in WWE History. Doing best Fink impression: And now the NEW WWE Hall of Famer: Howard “The Fink” Finkel. Congrats, Finkster.
Grisham and Striker welcomed the crowd back. Grisham made fun of Striker’s really ugly jacket. They then sent it back to Raw, where Randy sunk to new depths by hitting the Orton DDT off the ropes on Stephanie McMahon. Legacy triple-teamed Triple H. Randy even kissed Stephanie after dropping her on her face. Randy finished the devastation with a sledge shot to Trip’s face. The heat just got cranked up, about 1000 degrees.
Grisham and Striker ran down the updated Wrestlemania card. I’ve already got my order in for this one. Grisham then showed highlights from John Cena on the Tonight Show. John got a laugh when he talked about his fear of heights causing him to need fresh pants every 15 minutes. Raw then ran the trailer of 12 Rounds.
Jack Swagger waltzed out for the next match. It was a tag match. I’m wondering if the ECW strap will be defended at ‘Mania? I’d love to see him face Tommy Dreamer and have Tommy win it on the biggest stage of them all. Tyson Kidd joined Jack as his tag partner. I guess ECW is turning Tyson heel. Their opponents were the Heart and Soul of ECW, Tommy Dreamer, and Evan “Air” Bourne. This was just had to be a barn burner.
Tommy Dreamer & Evan Bourne d Tyson Kidd & Jack Swagger
Jack choked Tommy on the corner ropes. Jack sent Tommy to the opposite corner but fell victim to the Funk Neckbreaker. Both men were down and stunned. Tyson and Evan both tagged in. Evan Shouldered Tyson from the apron. Evan flipped over the ropes and sent Tyson sailing with a Hurancanrana. Evan dropped Tyson with a Clothesline and Jack with a Low Dropkick. Evan then nailed a Jumping Spin Kick. Evan clocked Jack with a Step-up Enziguri. Evan went to the top rope but Tyson rushed up to meet him. Evan knocked Tyson off the ropes. Tyson was stunned by the landing. Evan then nailed the Shooting Star Press to take the win. (Yet another superstar, Kidd, loses his unbeaten streak).
Jay’s Thoughts: And another unbeaten streak crumbles. Why can’t ECW allow anyone to build up a decent unbeaten streak? The match was fantastic. It looks like ECW is finally building up Tommy Dreamer towards a confrontation for the ECW strap before his deadline. I hope that Tommy gets the strap. ECW has been the red-headed stepchild of the WWE for so long. It’s time to make it right and put the strap on an ECW Original. Tommy’s the only one left.
ECW ran a really creepy promo for The Undertaker v Shawn Michaels. This is going to be a “coin-flip” match to call. I’m going on record, right now, to say that since Shawn won last year, he loses this year. There are going to be a million close calls in this one.
The ring was filled with the eight men participating in the Money in the Bank match. It was time for the VIP Lounge. Shelton looked less than happy when MVP bragged about being the new US champ. MVP ran down how the Money in the Bank match works. MVP talked about how the winner of the Money in the Bank has always won the title when they cashed in.
Christian said that he allowed MVP to do the VIP Lounge because he didn’t want his Peep Show set destroyed when the brawl broke out. Christian started bragging about winning the Money in the Bank match. Shelton Benjamin interrupted and made fun of MVP’s set. Shelton made fun of MVP’s losing streak. Shelton said that MVP would rather talk than fight. MVP said “Mr. 305” will become “Mr. Money in the Bank”. Punk interjected himself to say that he was the only one in this one to have won a past Money in the Bank match.
Kofi stopped his buddy to say that he (Kofi) planned to surprised everyone. Kofi said he would easily jump up to grab the briefcase. Mark Henry told Kofi that he would be made an example of at Wrestlemania. Mark said once he got the briefcase, no one could wrench it from his hands. Finlay shouted out “I Can”. MVP then wanted to hear what Kane had to say about the situation. Kane grinned, laughed and set off the corner pyro. The ring was bathed in crimson as Kane laughed. Everyone left the ring, except Kane. He just stared up at the briefcase. Fade out.
Segment Grade: C
Jay’s Thoughts: I’m so tired of the main event being one of the silly talk segments. At best, the show should open with this waste of time. The tag match should have been the show closer. ECW has run several weeks of good shows. The last two weeks they’ve ended with nonsense like this.
Final Grade: B
Final Thoughts: As I mentioned, I’m disappointed with the whole talk finish to ECW over the last couple of weeks. ECW hasn’t used Ricky Ortiz in weeks. D.J. Gabriel is fading from view faster than a disco revival. Teddy Long shows up every once in a blue moon. I still think the action is top-notch but the show needs a retooling. It’s still a personal favorite but it’s just a slightly broken toy. A little glue and glitter and it could rival Smackdown for excitement.
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