Impact (4/23) Insight

HeadLocker — Jay Shannon
The Impact Insight for 4/24/09
Ourresident philosopher, Jay Shannon, took a look at the actions and changes over on TNA.

TNA has a new World Champ, Mick Foley. Tonight, Mick had several surprises in store for TNA. Plus, a former Extreme Superstar made his first Impact appearance and a former WWE Tag Team champion showed up, under a new identity.

TNA opened up with a look back at Lockdown. It was filled with multiple title changes. Team 3D won their 22nd World title. Angelina Love shocked the world by taking the Knockouts title from Kong. Mick Foley defeated Sting for the World title. Plus, Bobby Lashley arrived in TNA.

This week’s Episode: Cactus Crosses the Line

Jeff Jarrett made his way out to the ring. He was carrying the TNA World title belt. Jeff called out the new TNA World champ, Mick Foley, after the crowd rocked the house with a “T-N-A” chant. Mick came out in a suit and turtle neck shirt. The crowd cheered for the Hardcore Icon.

The crowd broke out in a “Fo-ley” chant. Foley said that this was what he and Jeff had been waiting for. Foley took the camera from the camera guy and put him on camera. Foley then acknowledged Sting for the battle. Mick talked about the 25 stitches in his eye. Mick said Sting was a broken and emotionally bankrupted person. Mick said that Sting would not be back in the Impact Zone for quite some time. Foley asked the fans to show respect to Sting. The crowd chanted for the Stinger to come to the Impact Zone. Jeff then handed the belt to Mick Foley. Jeff couldn’t believe that Mick would be holding the World title. Mick told Jeff, six months ago, that he was looking for a career outside the ring. Jeff should have known that Mick couldn’t stay outside of the ring.

Jeff then told Mick that he would be battling in a four-way match at Sacrifice. The three opponents for Foley would be based on what they would be willing to sacrifice for the World title. Foley said that he was going to be in an Ultimate Sacrifice by who’s authority? Foley wanted to know who TNA management was? Foley wasn’t happy about the lack of 1-on-1 matches in TNA. Foley said Jeff was full of “peanut butter and Jealous” (I love that quote). Foley said that Jeff resents Mick becoming a General, instead of being just a soldier. Mick said that since Jeff booked him in a match, Mick would book him in a match, despite Jeff’s torn hamstring. Mick said that, in tribute to Cactus Jack, he would put Jeff in a “Cactus Jack Smack Attack” match. Mick would pick some “toys” to battle…Scott Steiner! Mick said he would sit with Mike and Don to watch the brutal battle.

Lauren talked with the Beautiful People. They were throwing a huge party to celebrate Angelina’s Knockout Title win. Velvet said that they were going to throw a Hollywood-level party, later in the evening.

Don West talked with Team 3D about a major announcement. Ray wanted to thank the fans of TNA. Ray then thanked Beer Money for their efforts and called them the Future of Tag Team Wrestling. Ray understood that the tag division was lacking. Ray announced the Team 3D Tag Team Invitational. The winner would get a trophy, a check for $ 100,000 and a future title shot at the World tag belts.

Beer Money came out for a Quarterfinals match in the Team 3D Invitational Tag Team Tournament. No Jacqueline or Boozer Cruiser. They were all business for this battle. They faced the team of Lethal Consequences.

Beer Money d Lethal Consequences
Team 3D Tag Team Invitational Quarterfinal match

The Finish:

Lethal tagged in and hit a series of Running Fore-arms to the face of Roode, who had also tagged in. Lethal went to the top and nailed a Missile Dropkick to Roode’s chest. Storm accidentally dropped an elbow on his own partner. Creed and Lethal hit several double team moves to neutralize Storm. Lethal then hit the Lethal Combination on Roode. Roode kicked out at two. Storm caught Lethal with the Last Call to the back of the head, after Lethal tried for the Muta Backspring Elbow off the ropes. Roode and Storm took out Lethal with the DWI (Inverted 3D) to advance.

Grade: A-
Jay’s Thoughts: On this week’s OWW, I made the comment that I consider Team 3D the best team in the history of wrestling. Currently, I would put Beer Money about a step and a half behind them. Roode and Storm have that Odd Couple thing going, where they work, even though they shouldn’t. When they turn off the comedy antics and get down to wrestling, there are very few teams that can take them out.

Lethal and Creed really should shift their focus back to the X-Division. Lethal has slid, big time, since feuding over SoCalVal with Sonjay Dutt. By the way, where the heck did Dutt disappear to? Lethal and Creed work well together but that “spark” just isn’t quite there.

JB talked with the Main Event Mafia about their loss at Lockdown. JB wanted to know how Kurt felt about Jeff Jarrett’s refusal to join the Mafia. Kurt corrected JB by saying that the Mafia beat themselves. Scott interjected to say that he was wrong and he apologized to the Mafia. Scott called Jeff “a sorry son of a B*tch” for choosing the young punks over their 20 year friendship. Scott was livid and stormed off. TNA went to break.

JB tried to talk to Jeff Jarrett about the battle against Scott Steiner. Jeff was incredibly irate about the whole situation. JB told Jeff that Scott wasn’t happy. Jeff said he didn’t care. Jeff said he made a business decision and he stands by it. Jeff said “Screw Scott. Screw the Mafia. Screw Mick Foley”. Suddenly, Eric Young walked up and asked for a chance. Jeff blew him off but Eric wouldn’t let it go. Jeff told Eric to go find Holliday and become his partner for the Tag Team Invitational Tourney. The Outlaw, Jethro Holliday is in fact the former Trevor Murdoch. Jethro’s tag partner supposedly had travel problems. Hmm…? Jethro? Guess Lance could change to Homer Holliday. Then they could be the “cousins”, Homer and Jethro. 50 points to anyone who gets that obscure hillbilly reference. If Homer does show up, they could call their finisher the Winchester Cathedral (1000 points to anyone who gets that one).

Mike and Don ran down the rest of the night’s card.

TNA then went to the Cross the Line Cam, which was following Mick Foley around. It started with Mick checking all the toys and such in his car as he left Philly. Mick went home and checked on his family. Foley talked with his kid’s bus driver as the young Foley headed off to school. Whatever.

Lauren talked with Kevin Nash. Lauren wanted to know if Nash had any ring rust. Nash said the Jenna chick from Survivor had kept Nash’s heart rate in gear. Sharmell and Jenna got into a verbal catfight. Nash said that he was going to get Booker’s Legends title back. Sharmell told Booker to “handle this or I will”.

TNA bored us with another Foley Cam segment. Foley was talking with some local shop owner’s about having a World Champ in their midst. Foley then took a cell call to talk to some guy who had never talked to a World Champ.

JB tried to talk with Jeff, again. Before they could get started, A.J. Styles and Christopher Daniels walked in to thank Jeff for all he’s done for them. Styles said he and Daniels had Jeff’s back.

It was time for the Knockouts Ladder Match. The winner would get a future Knockouts title match if they could get the contract off the hook. Sojo Bolt and Taylor Wilde faced off to try and get the title shot.

SoJo Bolt d Taylor Wilde
Ladder Match for a Future Knockout Title Match match

Highlights:

Wilde grabbed the ladder and set it up. As she started to climb, Bolt caught her. Bolt hit a Belly to Back Suplex off the ladder. Bolt then started up the ladder. Wilde caught her and sent Bolt down with an Electric Chair. Both women were down. Bolt reached into her top (Major kudos to the cameraman for that shot…grin). Bolt slipped steel/brass knuckles over her hand and began to climb the ladder. Wilde was on the other side. Bolt and Wilde fought on the top. Bolt clocked Wilde with the knucks and grabbed the contract.

Grade: C
Jay’s Thoughts: Other than a fantastic camera shot down Bolt’s blouse that made me grin, this match was a waste of tmie. The Knockout division is at it’s lowest level ever. Bolt just doesn’t have what it takesto be a top star in the Knockouts world. Wilde has run her course as a top star. TNA really needs some new women. Why wasn’t Daffney in this match? Where has Roxxi disappeared to?

The Beautiful People were on their way out to celebrate the new Knockouts champion. TNA took a break, first.

JB tried to talk to Jeff but they were again interrupted. This time, Slick Johnson ran in to talk to Jeff. Johnson said that Jeff’s girl, Jocelyn, called about a problem with school.

Velvet pushed the new Beautiful People Trading Cards. Velvet was Barbie Bubbly as she inducted Madison Rayne as a full member of Mi Pi Sexy. Velvet then officially introduced the new Knockout Champion, Angelina Love.

Love waltzed from the back. Love shook her tushie as she entered the ring . She then held the Ivory Belt high up. Velvet congratulated Love on her win. Sky wanted to know if Love had anything to say. Love thanked her fans for supporting her. Love made fun of the fans that supported her. Love pulled a Sally Field moment with the “They like me” bit. Sky said that she and Rayne had dancing boys for Love.

Three Count was reborn as three goofy guys bumped and grinded in the ring. They ripped their clothes off to do a glorified Lap Dance…until Kong showed up. Kong and Saeed stormed the ring. She was madder than Hell about having her hair cut. Mi Pi Sexy left the ring in a rush. Kong stared at them and then went after the Boy Toys. Kong hit the Awesome Bombs on one of the dancers. Kong gets the gold star for that move.

Foley then went to a massage parlor, where a cute blind girl rubbed him down. Jessica, the blind girl, was tipped $100 for taking care of him. Mick originally gave her a $1, claiming it was a $20. Yawn.

Big Sexy, Kevin Nash, walked out with Jenna Whatsherface from Survivor to try and take the Legends belt from A.J. Styles. The crowd was pretty dead for Nash. They woke up, big time, when A.J. Styles came out

A.J. Styles d Kevin Nash (by DQ)
Legends Championship Match

The Finish:

Nash Goozled Styles but Styles broke the hold and caught Nash with the Pele. Styles went for a Springboard Somersault Splash but Nash rolled inwards. Styles hit the bare canvas with a thud. Sharmell and Booker made their way from the back. Sharmell distracted Rudy Charles, the ref, which allowed Booker the hit the Ax Kick on Styles. Nash dropped the straps and lifted Styles into position for the Jackknife Powerbomb. Rudy pulled Styles out of harm’s way and called for the bell. Rudy saw Booker’s actions and DQ’d Nash.

Grade: B
Jay’s Thoughts: The Mafiaseems to be coming apart. Nash really should stick to doing the comedy bits. His legs are wearing out on him and he’s going to end up in a wheelchair, if he’s not real careful. Styles continues to look amazing in the ring. Styles is a match for anyone that the WWE has on it’s roster, right now. He deserves a bigger push but he’s a good support player for the others.

During the commercial break, the Mafia had a meltdown in the back. The women were screaming at each other. Kurt Angle was trying to play peacemaker.

No Limit came out for the Team 3D Tag Team Invitational Quarterfinals. Yujiro and Naito had Kiyoshi and Sheik Abdul Bashir with him. Jethro Holliday came out. Eric Young joined him. I wonder what that does to the big card in Tyler, Texas in a couple of weeks?

Jethro Holliday and Eric Young d No Limit
Team 3D Invitational Tag Tourney Quarterfinals match

The Finish:

Yujiro tagged back in and Bodyslammed Jethro. Yujiro wen t up top but came down to a boot to the face. Eric tagged in and hit Clotheslines on everyone in sight. Eric caught Yujiro with a big slam. Eric almost got the pin. Kiyoshi distracted the ref and Yujiro caught Jethro with an Inverted Back Tombstone Piledriver. Bashir got on then apron to hold Eric. Eric broke free and Yujiro blasted Bashir. Eric then popped Kiyoshi before catching Yujiro with the Crucifix Backslide to advance.

Grade: B+
Jay’s Thoughts: The Dudley Boyz curse strikes again. Trevor has to change his name. At least he got rid of those strange Mutton Chop sideburns. I’d love to see Homer and Jethro face Beer Money and eventually Team 3D. Eric may end up getting to the end in this one, as a thank you for putting over Danny Bonaduce. Eric did beat the washed-up kid star, even though Danny beat him down with nun chakus after the match. No Limit just doesn’t quite fit in the TNA landscape. They are a great team but they’re getting a Yung Dragons-level push.

Lauren talked with A.J. Styles about the match. Styles showed respect to Nash. Styles saw Samoa Joe and tried to talk to him. Joe said he had a problem with everyone and everything. Styles tried to talk about their friendship but Joe said that there are no friends, just his Nation of Violence.

Lauren and Abyss talked with “Dr. Stevie” Richards. Stevie talked abut his intelligence. Stevie was nasty in talking about Stevie’s brutality towards Abyss.Stevie said he was recovering, as well. Stevie apologized to Abyss for the attack on Sunday. Abyss trembled and cowered on the couch. TNA has turned Abyss into a simpering shell of his former self. Sad, isn’t it?

Don West talked about some upcoming shows.

Mike Tenay talked with Christopher Daniels. They talked about the friendship with A.J. Styles and the early days of TNA. Tenay compared Daniels to Dean Malenko, Bret Hart and Kurt Angle as being one of the top technical wrestlers in the industry. (I completely agree.) Daniels talked about getting Fired and how he blamed everyone in sight. Kurt Angle and the Mafia woke up Daniels. Daniels wanted to be at the top echelon of talent.

Mick Foley walked backstage. He was ready to provide color commentary for the main event…next.

Before the main event, TNA ran a promo for A.J. Styles.

Tenay sent it to one final (thankfully) Cross the Line Cam where Foley was signing autographs in an airport. Foley was giving away photos and cracking bad jokes. Foley’s title belt set off the metal detector at the airport.

Mick Foley waddled his way to the ring.He strolled amongst the trash cans full of “toys” that were waiting for Scott and Jeff. Mike wanted to know which version of Foley would be at ringside. Foley grumbled about the 25 stitches in his eyebrow area.

Big Poppa Pump came out, ready for war. Scott got into it with a fan at ringside. Scott pushed over a trash can and flexed on the ropes. Speaking of ropes, one side of the six sides were wrapped in barbed wire. Jeff then came out with his silver guitar.

Jeff Jarrett d Scott Steiner
Cactus Jack Smack Attack match

The Finish:

Jeff set up a steel chair and tried to use his finisher, The Stroke, to drive Jeff’s head into the seat of the chair. Scott blocked the move and drove Jeff’s face into the chair. Scott slid a trash can over Jeff’s head and then blasted the can with a crutch. Scott tried for the Steiner Recliner but Jeff slipped under and hit a Low Blow. Jeff nailed The Stroke but Scott kicked out. Jeff grabbed a chair and went to the top. Scott bashed Jeff with a can. Scott dropped Jeff, from the top rope, with a Super Samoan Drop. Steiner only got a two count. Scott locked in the Steiner Recliner but Jeff refused to tap. Jeff moved, slowly, to the ropes. Jeff used the ropes to lift Scott for an Electric Chair. Scott just missed the trash can. Jeff rang Scott’s bell with the Silver Guitar. Jeff finished off Scott with The Stroke.

Grade: A-

After the match, Kurt Angle ran down. He hit the AngleSlam on an unaware Jeff. Kurt then cinched in the AngleLock. Scott also locked in the Steiner Recliner. Mick Foley came in and cracked Kurt with a steel chair. Kurt and Scott ran out. Foley then bashed Jeff with the steel chair! TNA went to a quick break.

Jay’s Thoughts: Finally! I’ve been looking for a Foley turn, almost since day one. I have to think that Jeff is going to be one of the men facing Foley at Sacrifice. He will likely put up his spot as “top dog” in TNA against Mick’s title. I’d love to see him dethrone Foley, but he should keep the belt to push himself as the new head of TNA.

TNA reviewed the final moments of the Cactus Jack Smack Attack match. Christopher Daniels and A.J. Styles were in the ring with Jeff. Jeff blamed himself for hiring Mick Foley. Jeff said Mick broke their personal relationship. Jeff said “the next time I see you, I’m going to shove a pink slip up your d*mn *ss”. Suddenly, the Impact Zone went dark. The intro video ran for Bobby Lashley. Lashley stood solidly on the ramp. The Mafia looked thrilled with Bobby’s arrival. Jeff looked concerned. Lashley did not acknowledge Kurt or the Mafia. What side does Lashley stand with? That will have to wait until another day.

Final Grade: B
Final Thoughts: Foley’s now a full heel. Lashley’s an unknown quantity. Joe’s doing the Psycho Hermit bit. TNA is setting the base for some interesting things in the near future. The Mafia is crumbling, or is it? All this and more will be revealed on future episodes of How Russo recycles old WCW and WWE storylines.

TNA seems to be in a state of flux. They really need to get ready for a Thursday night war against WWE Superstars. Currently, the shows don’t run at the same time. If Vinny Mac thinks he can swipe some viewers from TNA, he’ll get WGN to move the show to a better time. The return of Christopher Daniels seems like the first attempt to solidify the roster. By summer, TNA should be at full speed. I look forward to that.

Peace

– -Jay Shannon
[email protected]
(4/26/09)