TNA IMPACT 04 23 2009


Location: Orlando, Florida (Universal Studios)
Date: April 23, 2009 (Taped: April 21)

DARK MATCH: Awesome Kong defeated Sarah Stock..

Jeff Jarrett + Mick Foley: “TNA Founder” Jeff Jarrett came out with the World Heavyweight title belt and introduced the NEW champion, Mick Foley! Foley came out wearing a suit and asked Jarrett to let the fans enjoy it while it lasts. Foley thanked the camera man for helping him at Lockdown and said he would have a job in TNA for life. Foley said his consequences were physical, but Stingers consequences were emotional. Foley said after the match, Sting was an emotionally shattered man, and it’s safe to say they wouldn’t see Sting in the iMPACT Zone for a while. Foley asked for a round of appluase to show some respect for Sting. Jeff Jarrett somewhat reluctantly presented Foley with the TNA World Heavyweight title. Jarrett said six months ago when Foley signed on as executive shareholder neither of them dreamed of these circumstances. Jarrett informed Foley that TNA management has decided that his first title defense would be at Sacrifice in a four-way. Jarrett explained that each participant in the match will be putting something on the line worth “sacrificing” for the TNA championship. Jarrett said the challengers would be determined by who is willing to put the most on the line… Foley called it the ultimate sacrifice. Foley asked who TNA management is (isn’t it Jim Cornette?). Foley pointed out that he and Jarrett are TNA management, and he doesn’t remember discussing it with anybody. Foley asked what ever happened to good old one-on-one matches, and accused Jarrett of being jealous. Foley said that part of Jarrett resents that he is champion. Foley said since Jarrett booked him at Sacrifice, then he will book Jarrett in a match tonight. Foley booked Jarrett in a “Cactus Jack Smack Attack” match with Scott Steiner. Foley said he would sit with Mikey (Tenay) & Donnie (West) to “add a little color” to the match.

Lauren Brooke & The Beautiful People (Angelina Love & Velvet Sky & Madison Rayne): New TNA Knockout’s champion Angelina Love celebrated with Velvet & Madison and said everybody can kiss their asses.

Don West & Team 3-D (Brothers Ray & Devon): Team 3-D thanked all the fans around the world, and called Beer Money the future of tag team wrestling. Ray said they were proud to be apart of a company where the tag team division is alive and well. Ray said the division isn’t as strong as it could be so they would start a Team 3-D Tag Team tournament with teams from around the world competing for $100,000 and a shot at their tag team titles…

Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode & James Storm) defeated Lethal Consequences (Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed):

Jeremy Borash & The Main Event Mafia (Kurt ANgle & Scott Steiner): Kurt Angle said nobody beat them at Lockdown, and claimed they beat themselves. Steiner said he held himself responsible, because Angle trusted his judgement. Steiner apologized to Angle and then cut a promo on Jeff Jarrett for rejecting his offer to join the Mafia..

Jeremy Borash & Jeff Jarrett + Eric Young: Jeremy Borash stooged on the Main Event Mafia, telling Jeff Jarrett that Scott Steiner was really upset with him.. Jarrett said he made a business decision at Lockdown, pointing out that the originals may be young and make mistakes but they go out every single night and bust their butt! Jarrett said “screw Scott Steiner! screw the Mafia! And screw Mick Foley!” just before Eric Young interrupted him… Young said he wasn’t trying to be a pain but he’s looking for a shot. Jarrett said they got a lunatic for a TNA champion, and there are bigger issues on the table. Young said he was one of the originals, not looking for a handout, but only looking for a shot. Jarrett told Young to go find a tag partner for the Team 3-D Tournament.

CROSS THE LINE CAM: Cameras followed Mick Foley leaving Lockdown as TNA champion at Lockdown, driving home and being greeted by his hot wife. Then the next morning saying good bye to his kids as they boarded the bus for school and telling the bus driver about his match at Lockdown.

Lauren Brooke & Kevin Nash & Jenna Morasca + Booker T & Sharmell: Lauren Brooke asked Kevin Nash if he was worried about ring rust, and he said his girl Jenna has kept him in the target heart range. Sharmell and Jenna started argueing until the men got involved. Nash shook hands with Booker and said now was not the time or the place and left. Sharmell ordered Booker T to take care of it!

CROSS THE LINE CAM: Cameras followed Mick Foley into a local store with the TNA belt over his shoulder. Foley asked if they ever had a World champion come into the store, and the owner said Mick was the first and the only!

Jeremy Borash & Jeff Jarrett: Jeremy Borash tried to ask Jeff Jarrett about Scott Steiner again when A.J. Styles & Christopher Daniels interrupted. Styles apologized for ever doubting him, and Daniels thanked Jarrett on behalf os his family. They shook hands and Jarrett told Borash “that’s why I do the things I do for those guys.”

Sojourner Bolt defeated Taylor Wilde: Sojo used brass knux to knock Taylor off the top of the ladder and grabbed the TNA contract hanging above the ring..

Jeremy Borash & Jeff Jarrett: Jeremy Borash tried to ask Jeff Jarrett about Scott Steiner again when referee Slick Johnson interrupted.. Johnson said there was a call from one of Jarrett’s daughters and there was a problem at home – something about school…

Velvet Sky & Madison Rayne + TNA Knockout champion Angelina Love + Awesome Kong (w/Raisha Saed): Velvet Sky officially welcomed Madison Rayne into the group (a name so idiotic I refuse to type it here). Velvet then introduced the NEW TNA Knockout champion, who defeated Awesome Kong at Lockdown, Angelina Love! Velvet asked Angelina if there was anything she wanted to say to her adoring fans. Angelina took the mic and thanked all of her fans for supporting her. Angelina gave an arrogant speech concluding with the classic, “they like me! they really like me!” Velvet called out the dancing boys. Three hunks wearing wifebeaters came out and stripped for Angelina until Awesome Kong (w/Raisha Saed) showed up. The Beautiful People scattered, so Kong destroyed one of the boy dancers!

CROSS THE LINE CAM: Cameras followed Mick Foley into a massage parlour, getting a massage from blind massuse. She is legitimately blind, and really sexy. Foley tried to pay her with a $1 but she caught him and he gave her the $20.

A.J. Styles defeated Kevin Nash w/Jenna Morasca: Kevin Nash had a bionic elbow pad to protect his staph infection. Jenna Morasca was really hot before, but they have Diva-sized her and now she just looks generic. Sorry, Jenna, I know you’re reading this. Nash actually used the elbow pad as a weapon during the match. Midway through the contest, Booker T (led by Sharmell) came down to ringside. Sharmell distracted the referee while Booker T took Styles down with an Axe-kick! Nash was about to give Styles the power-bomb, but referee Rudy Charles disqualified Nash for Booker T’s interference!

Eric Young & Jethrow Holiday defeated NO LIMIT (w/Kiyoshi & Sheik Abdul Bashir): “The Outlaw” Jethrow Holiday is the WWE Superstar formerly known as Trevor Murdoch.

Lauren Brooke & A.J. Styles + Samoa Joe: Lauren Brooke said it looked like Kevin Nash had A.J. beat until Booker T interfered. Styles spotted Samoa Joe and went over to talk to him. Styles asked Joe what his problem was. Styles said they were friends, so what’s up? Joe said there are no friends, just the nation of violence… Joe was wearing the black towel around his neck (like Taz)..

Dr. Stevie (Richards) & Abyss & Lauren Brooke: Lauren Brooke asked Stevie Richards when he became a psychiatrist or was he studying to become one while he was in ECW. Dr. Stevie tried to defend himself with words, and Lauren fired back at him. Dr. Stevie said he was a recovering addict as well, and Chris (Abyss) came to him because he has experienced his pain. Lauren said it doesn’t give Stevie the right to abuse him. Dr. Stevie told Lauren they need to help Chris transfer his aggression elsewhere. Lauren told Dr. Stevie to continue……

Mike Tenay & Christopher Daniels: They are calling him just “DANIELS,” which I find stupid so I will only refer to him as “Christopher Daniels” on this website. Daniels talked about his friendship with A.J. Styles, and being apart of the TNA X-Division. Tenay put Daniels in the same category as Kurt Angle, Bret Hart, Dean Malenko, and Eddie Guerrero. Daniels talked about being fired two years ago and going home and blaming everybody but himself. Daniels said he was at home and watched iMPACT and listened to the Main Event Mafia. Daniels said he realized this was the opportunity to put his name in the upper echelon..

CROSS THE LINE CAM: Cameras followed Mick Foley around the airport acting like an arrogant World Heavyweight champion.. Foley walked through the metal detector and the alarm went off, then took off his belt and said “could it possibly be this?” just bringing attention to his prized championship…

Jeff Jarrett defeated Scott Steiner: TNA World champion Mick Foley came down with a chair and joined Mike Tenay & Don West on commentary. There were weapons scattered throughout the iMPACT Zone, including barbed wire wrapped around 1/6 of the six sided ring. The finish saw Jarrett smash his guitar over Steiner’s head (and go zero reaction from the fans). Jarrett pinned Steiner and sold a hamstring injury. Kurt Angle ran down and planted Jarrett with an Angle-slam! Angle applied the Angle-lock to Jarrett and Steiner applied the Steiner-recliner at the same time. Foley said he would go protect the TNA Founder. Foley slid into the ring and whacked Angle from behind with the chair! Angle & Steiner retreated, but then Foley clobbered Jarrett with the steel chair!

Jeff Jarrett (w/A.J. Styles & Christopher Daniels) + Kurt Angle & Scott Steiner + Bobby Lashley: Jeff Jarrett said he doesn’t have anybody to blame but himself. Jarrett said six months ago he knew Foley was a whack-job. Jarrett said it wasn’t business any more, it was personal, and Foley has broken a personal relationship. Jarrett said next time he sees Foley he’ll shove a pink slip up his ass! Suddenly, Bobby Lashley showed up and it looked like he was buddies with Kurt Angle again…