WWE Monday Night RAW 03 09 2009

March 9, 2009 – Jacksonville, Florida
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler

Shawn Michaels + The Undertaker: Shawn Michaels praised the Undertaker’s winning streak at WrestleMania but said when it comes to show-stopping performances, he is no slouch himself. Michaels talked about the ‘video package’ he sent the Undertaker on SmackDown! highlighting his memorable moments at WrestleMania. Michaels said he has never been out-performed on the grandest stage and never will. Michaels said that streaks are meant to be broken, good things must come to an end and nothing lasts forever. Michaels said at WrestleMania, something’s gotta give. The lights went out and a highlight reel of the Undertaker’s greatest WrestleMania moments played over the big screen. When it was over the lights came back on, the Undertaker appeared out of thin air in the ring. Without even turning around, Shawn said “hello Undertaker, I’ve been expecting you.” The Undertaker said that Shawn’s arrogance has clouded his judgement. Undertaker said he respects Shawn, but he’s fought many people he’s respected and they’ve all fallen. Shawn said he and Taker have taken very different career paths and different life paths. Shawn said he shouldn’t have to qualify to compete against anybody at WrestleMania. Shawn listed a bunch of his accomplishments relating to WrestleMania. Shawn said he was still the show-stopper and he cannot wait for this. Undertaker said Shawn has had epic victories at WrestleMania, but then again he’s had bitter defeat. Undertaker said despite all of his achievments, the dream of beating him (Taker) at WrestleMania is a dream that will be soon laid to rest. Undertaker said Shawn is concerning himself with breaking a streak, but he should be concerned with what he (Taker) will do to him physically and what he will do to Shawn’s soul. Undertaker said he doesn’t need to steal the show, but after the match, Shawn will realize that he is the most dangerous entity to ever step inside the ring. Undertaker told Shawn he should have been more careful what he wished for because he has opened hell’s gates. Undertaker was about to proclaim that Shawn would REST IN PEACE, but Shawn cut him off and said he would rest comfortably after WrestleMania knowing that he snapped the Undertaker’s undefeated streak. Shawn reminded Undertaker that he has never beaten him, and added that he never will! Editor’s Note: I thought for sure that was B.S. but I looked it up and Taker has never beaten Shawn in a singles match!

John Bradshaw Layfield defeated C.M. Punk to win the WWE Intercontinental title!: The referee had his back turned and JBL raked Punk’s eyes to get out of the FU and flattened Punk with the clothesline from hell for the win!

Vickie Guerrero & John Bradshaw Layfield + World Heavyweight champion Edge: Vickie Guerrero said he put JBL in that match and now he wants something from him. JBL was much too happy to say no, so he said “fair enough, that’s a deal darlin’!” Edge showed up and wanted to talk to his wife. Edge said he calmed down but he needs to know what John Cena whispered in Vickie’s ear on SmackDown!. Vickie yelled “it doesn’t matter!” Edge said it doesn’t matter as long as he signs his WrestleMania contract, tonight.

Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler interview Randy Orton: Randy Orton was sitting with his tiny plastic wife, Samantha, at his home in St. Louis. Michael Cole asked Randy Orton why he violated his own stipulation on SmackDown! this past week when he and his Legacy partners attacked Triple H. They showed video of the vicious assault just four days ago. Orton said he showed a lot of restaint, saying he could have kicked Triple H or RKO’d him. Orton said he was proud that he had the self control that was necessary to take his rightful place at WrestleMania. Orton said he was confident that Triple H will show up at WrestleMania. Orton said he also thinks HHH will show up on RAW out of pride. Orton said each time he will take a little more out of HHH but leave just enough so he can defend the WWE championship. Michael Cole said they might have some more questions for Orton before the end of the night. Samantha sat there with a soulless expression on her face…. I already want to see Stephanie give her a Billion Dollar Pedigree!

(SmackDown!) Divas champion Maryse Ouellet defeated (RAW) Women’s champion Melina Perez: Divas from RAW and SmackDown! surrounded the ring acting as Lumberjills. Maryse pinned Melina clean in the middle of the ring. After the match, Rosa Mendes tried to go after Maryse (why?) and all the divas jumped in the ring for a huge catfight brawl! They are building towards a 25-Diva Battle Royal at WrestleMania featuring Divas past, present, and future including Sunny, Torrie Wilson, hopefully Trish Stratus & Lita, and there’s a slight chance that Wendi Richter will accept an invitation!

HIGHLIGHT REEL: WrestleMania IV – including Demolition vs. Andre The Giant & Haku where Andre finally turned on manager Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. Plus the epic showdown between Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior!

Vickie Guerrero + The Big Show + World Heavyweight champion Edge + John Cena: Vickie Guerrero made it official, and announced the 25-Diva Battle Royal, even though the marks on the Internet have known for the past four or five days already. Vickie first introduced the “challenger” the Big Show. Vickie then introduced the “champion” Edge. Edge talked about attending WrestleMania 6 and watching the Ultimate Warrior vs. Hulk Hogan. Edge said he knows Big Show is better than the Warrior, and he (Edge) is far better than Hulk Hogan – ouch! Edge said he doesn’t care of the people like them, he knows they are the top two superstars in the WWE, and suggested they put the past in the past and create history at WrestleMania. Edge signed the document and slid it across the table. Big Show said he agreed with Edge 100% and signed his name on the document as well. Edge and the Big Show shook hands but then John Cena’s music hit and Cena came to the ring! Edge said it was official, Cena wasn’t in the match. Cena looked at Vickie and said “what, you didn’t tell him?” Edge proposed that he and Big Show take out Cena. Vickie stopped them and said she invited Cena to come out. Vickie said it was only fair to the audience to allow Cena to fight for the title at WrestleMania. Big Show yelled “who cares what the audience thinks!” Cena told Vickie it was time for everybody to know the truth. Cena revealed that he whispered to Vickie that he loves her. Oh gezz. Vickie was like “what the?” and Edge was losing his mind. Cena said he can’t control who he falls in love with. Cena did all of this with a straight face, but I think it’s all a plan to expose Vickie Guerrero as an unfit General Manager. Cena left and Edge said Cena was just trying to worm Cena into a spot at WrestleMania. Edge told Vickie to tear up the contract. Vickie refused. Cena admitted that he didn’t love Vickie, and the sight of her makes him sick. Cena said the truth was he knew the guy who worked the security camera in Boston last week. Cena showed video of Big Show and Vickie kissing backstage at RAW last week and Vickie saying “I hope you win at WrestleMania!” before slapping Big Show on the ass! Edge was pissed….. but isn’t this the same thing he did with Alicia Fox last year? What goes around, comes around! Edge fumed, and Big Show was freaked out, while Vickie cried like a bad soap opera star.

Kofi Kingston defeated Chris Jericho: Late in the match, when Chris Jericho was on his way to victory, “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair‘s music played and the WWE Hall of Famer showed up on the stage! Jericho was distracted by the Nature Boy’s face and was rolled up by Kofi Kingston! Kofi immediately went up to the stage and celebrated with Flair!

Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler interview Randy Orton: Michael Cole asked Randy Orton why he wasn’t at RAW, suggesting he was afraid of Triple H. Orton said he wasn’t hiding from Triple H, and asked why would he tempt himself by being in Jacksonville tonight. Orton said he was showing restraint and that is the only reason he was not there. Michael Cole said that Triple H would be in action tonight.

Todd Grisham & Chris Jericho: Chris Jericho said he wanted his WrestleMania moment next week and challenged Ric Flair to step back into the spotlight next week and face him one last time. Jericho said just like Mickey Rourke’s character in the wrestler, the story of Ric Flair will end forever… next week!

HALL OF FAME ANNOUNCEMENT: They announced that Koko B. Ware will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame! He will be inducted by the Honky Tonk Man the night before WrestleMania 25!

Rey Mysterio & Christian & Fit Finlay w/Hornswoggle defeated John Morrison & Mike Mizanin & Kane: I guess the Miz has forgiven Kane for brutally assaulting him a few months ago when Kelly set him up for a beating from Kane.

Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Jr. defeated Triple H by forfiet: Lilian Garcia introduced Triple H twice, but the WWE champion did not come out to the ring – so Cody Rhdoes & Ted DiBiase were declared winners by forfeit! Randy Orton came up on the big screen and told Rhodes & DiBiase to stop smiling! Orton said he gave HHH too much credit tonight, saying he let everyone down by not showing up. Orton said he was taking it personally, because it means HHH will not show up at WrestleMania either. Orton said if HHH doesn’t show up at WrestleMania, he will send him to the hospital with the rest of his family!

Randy Orton & Samantha + Triple H: There was a knock at the door and Samantha went to answer. Orton yelled “wait Samantha don’t get the door!” Just then Triple H bashed the door in with a sledge-hammer and stalked Orton around the house but he found a good hiding place. Triple H tried to scream at Samantha but she has no charisma and should never be used in the WWE ever again. Triple H searched the house and went upstairs, but then came back down when he heard a noise. Orton jumped out from a hidden storage unit and they brawled all over and destroyed some furniture! Triple H literally tossed Orton out the window onto the front lawn just as police arrived. Triple H was arrested and taken away by police. This was the Austin-Pillman incident all over again except there was no gun. Once HHH was hand-cuffed, Orton tried to go after him but he was held back by police officers.