April 2, 2010 – Las Vegas, Nevada
Announcers: Todd Grisham & Matt Striker
[ REVIEWED BY SHANE ST. GERMAIN ]
IN THE RING World Heavyweight champion Chris Jericho + Edge + Jack Swagger: Chris Jericho said he was still the World Heavyweight champion… and he was the best in the world at what he does. Chris said he told them that he was genetically superior and that they were all just like Edge, and he was right! Chris said last Sunday he wrestled a perfect match and proved he was the greatest champion of this generation or any other. Chris said he dismantled Edge piece by piece like clockwork and stayed World champion. Chris said after the match in a cowardly act, Edge attempted to permanently injure him by standing him on the announce table and spearing him through the dasher boards. Chris said as he was lying in a jumbled heap in the corner, an innocent victim asking himself what he did to deserve that, all he heard while he could barely breathe and internally bled was 70,000 fans chanting Edge and spear! Chris said it’s because them and Edge are all the same, they have never been successes or reached their potential as human beings, and as a result they are losers! As a result Edge is a loser and Chris is the champion because he is an honest man who always says and does what he is going to do and that’s why he still has this (holds up title). Chris said he stands there not to tell them he told them so, but to tell them IT IS SO! Edge came down to the ring and said Chris made a valid point. Edge said he and the fans do have a lot of things in common; they love watching Chris get speared! Edge said he thinks they’d all love to watch Edge spear Chris again tonight! Edge said he wants a rematch, and he wants it right now! Chris asked if that’s what they all want, but he doesn’t care what they want! Chris said he had his chance on Sunday but he lost, so that puts Edge at the back of the line, because he’s a loser. Chris said nothing Edge says or does will change that. Chris said before he tears that Achilles one more time to get out of the ring now! Edge attacked Chris and tore off his suit to reveal taped up ribs. Edge hit the impaler DDT, and got ready for the spear. Edge nailed the spear! Edge left looking proud of himself. Suddenly, Jack Swagger ran up behind Edge and nailed him with the briefcase. Jack started yelling for a referee into the mic that he’s cashing in his money in the bank!
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH Jack Swagger defeated Chris Jericho to win the World Heavyweight title!: Jack Swaggger hit Chris Jericho with the gut wrench powerbomb and won the World title!!! Jack stood there with the title looking possessed after.
TAG TEAM MATCH John Morrison & R-Truth defeated Cryme Tyme (Shad Gaspard & JTG): Shad and Truth started off. Shad tried for a gorilla press slam but Truth slipped out of it and hit the axe kick, before tagging in Morrison. Morrison instantly hit star ship pain and they won! After the match, JTG checked on Shad. Shad got mad at JTG for not breaking up the pin. JTG got in Shad’s face so Shad hit him with a big boot! Shad punched JTG for a bit, followed by the STO. Shad slowly walked away looking possessed, as that seems to be the theme of the night.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT World Heavyweight champion Jack Swagger + Tony Atlas & Mickie James & Slam Master J + Shelton Benjamin: Jack walked past Tony, Mickie & Master J and they all said congratulations. Jack walked past Shelton and said they should call HIM the gold standard now.
BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW Josh Mathews & Shad Gaspard: Josh said Shad and JTG were together for a long time. Shad cut him off and said there was no more Cryme Tyme, it’s his time now. (Editor’s note: I wonder if he means time to be on the future endeavors list?)
NON (WWE INTERCONTINENTAL) TITLE MATCH WWE Intercontinental champion Drew McIntyre vs. Matt Hardy never really got started: Drew attacked Hardy on his way into the ring and threw him into the steel ring post. Drew hit the future shock on Hardy, posed with the belt, and then walked away, looking possessed…
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT Vickie Guerrero & Team Lay-Cool (WWE Women’s champion Michelle McCool & Layla El): Vickie and Lay-Cool agreed WrestleMania was amazing. Vickie said she’s mad because everyone keeps calling her frog splash the hog splash. Michelle said if anything it should be called the cougar splash and they continued acting like 8 year olds before Swagger walked in. They all clapped and Swagger asked for Long. Vickie said she was the consultant and asked what he needed. Swagger said since he was the new World Heavyweight champion he would like to have it addressed live tonight. Vickie congratulated him again and said he could have all the time he wanted out there. Swagger then tried out for fear factor by kissing Vickie on the cheek. Swagger moved onto the next round by not vomiting on the carpet and left. Vickie and Lay-Cool acted like little girls, agreeing that Swagger was going to make a great champion.
SINGLES MATCH Dolph Ziggler defeated The Great Khali w/Runjin Singh: Dolph Ziggler tried running around Khali, but got punched hard. Khali chopped Ziggler a few times. Khali hit Ziggler with the big boot. Ziggler managed to lock in the sleeper hold from hell off the top turnbuckle but Khali easily slammed him down. Ziggler jumped up and locked it in again. Ziggler actually knocked out Khali with the sleeper hold! Khali grabbed a mic after the match and said some stuff in a different language. Runjin said that Khali has been doing a lot of soul searching and it’s time for him to go back home to India, spend time with the family, regroup, and when he returns he’ll become World champion again.
IN THE RING Straight Edge Society (C.M. Punk & Luke Gallows & Serena): Luke told everyone to open their ears and listen, Punk saved him and he can save each and every one of them. Luke said to take a look at the transformation he’s made since taking the pledge. Luke said all of his impurities have been washed away, so pay attention. Luke said the time to make a change in your life for the better is right here and now! Serena told the fans to show some respect. Serena said Punk is perfect in every way, he is selfless, and remarkable. Serena said Punk is a healer, and if you would just take a moment and look into his beautiful eyes you would see that he is not blinded by a world of sin and addiction like they are. Serena said Punk can save you, just like he saved her and Luke. Serena said if it weren’t for Punk, her and Luke would be like the fans. Serena said when she looks around the crowd, she sees a sea of demons, but when she looks at her savior, she sees an angel. Punk said if there was ever a city that needed to be saved, they were in it now (Las Vegas). Punk said he envies the people sitting at home because they aren’t there. Punk said if you don’t know and haven’t been there, you can get an alcoholic beverage 24 hours a day 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Punk said you can smoke in any public place without reappraisal. Punk said those fans were like white sheep following the herd like some prophecy that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Punk said that’s a lie, this town is a lie, and it’s full of liars just lying to each other, just like Rey Mysterio. Punk said what happened on Sunday (WrestleMania) wasn’t supposed to happen. Punk said he was supposed to save Rey but now Rey is out there lying to himself. Punk said whether Rey knows it or not he needs straight edge. Punk said like all the people there, Rey needs C.M. Punk. Punk said Rey was to be his shining light to show all of those people that anybody can be saved by straight edge. Punk said he wants Rey to know that he’s not going to give up, and that Rey should grant him a rematch. Punk said he knows the kneejerk answer will be no because there’s nothing in it for him, but Punk said he’s willing to sacrifice something important. Punk said he’s willing to give something free of chemicals (like shampoo), Punk said it’s something that represents his position as leader of the SES. Punk said if Rey grants him one more match and if Punk loses he’ll sacrifice his hair. Punk said that’s how much he cares about Rey. Punk said he’s willing to sacrifice a piece of himself just to save Rey.
DIVAS TAG TEAM MATCH Beth Phoenix & Tiffany defeated Team Lay-Cool (WWE Women’s champion Michelle McCool & Layla El w/Vickie Guerrero): Michelle and Tiffany started. Michelle and Layla made fun of Beth before walking into a toe drag. Tiffany hit a monkey flip, and tried for a second at the turnbuckle, but was thrown to the ground. Layla tagged in and they hit a double stroke of sorts on her. Tiffany managed to get the hot tag and Beth cleaned house. Beth hit an airplane spin on Layla before hitting a big lariat. Layla tried for a kick but missed and ended up in the glam slam, followed by a pin!
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT SmackDown! General Manager Theodore Long & Chris Jericho: Teddy was watching the TV when Chris came in and demanded that Teddy reverse the decision and give him back his title. Teddy said he’s not going to reverse the decision but asked if he wanted a rematch tonight. Chris said he’s hurt and can’t wrestle tonight. Chris said Swagger isn’t going to get away with this.
BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW Josh Mathews & The Hart Dynasty (Tyson Kidd & David Hart Smith & Natalya) + World Heavyweight champion Jack Swagger: Natalya said they couldn’t be more excited for this opportunity and they knew they wouldn’t let anybody down. David said it was an honor seeing Stu inducted into the hall of fame, and it was a privilege to be a part of Bret Hart’s match. Tyson said now it’s their time to carry on the tradition of the Hart family. Swagger walked in front of them and posed with his title.
IN THE RING Kane: Kane said he was getting bored, and when he gets bored, he becomes frustrated, and a frustrated monster isn’t healthy for anyone. Kane said he needs someone to take his frustration out on, and the more the better! Kane said tonight he’s going to take on the entire NXT roster! Kane said starting now!
8 ON 1 ELIMINATION HANDICAP MATCH Kane defeated the NXT Rookies (Skip Sheffield & David Otunga & Daniel Bryan & Wade Barrett & Michael Tarver & Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel & Darren Young) by DQ: Back from commercial, Daniel Bryan was starting against Kane. Daniel hit Kane with some kicks before being pushed away. Daniel continued to hit kicks before being caught and body slammed, followed by a drop kick. Daniel tagged in Darren Young. Kane threw around Darren before Wade entered the ring. Tarver distracted Kane so Wade could get the upper hand. Wade wound up running into a big boot and getting eliminated. Back from commercial, Skip was trying to match Kane’s strength. Kane picked Skip up for a powerslam and Heath blind tagged himself in. Heath ended up jumping into a chokeslam and getting eliminated. Michael ran in and was thrown over the top rope by his throat! The rookies began plotting and surrounded the ring. They all charged Kane and Daniel locked in a sleeper hold, the referee ended up disqualifying the rookies. Kane continued to try to fight back and Daniel hit a missile drop kick on Kane! They held Kane down while Skip hit a running splash and Justin hit the 450 splash! Kane got up and they all ran away, Kane chasing them looking….like a man possessed.
IN THE RING World Heavyweight champion Jack Swagger + Chris Jericho + Edge + SmackDown! General Manager Theodore Long: Jack Swagger had a folder with him. Swagger said this is the first of many state of the world championship addresses he will be giving. Swagger said he’s prepared a few statements. Swagger congratulated everyone on being a part of history; this night may now be the apex of their lives. Swagger said they were all witnesses to when he first became champion. Swagger said he would be champion for an extremely long time, so if he’s them he would show some respect until this speech is over. Swagger said all his life he’s been the odds on favorite in everything. Swagger said as a 2 time all American wrestler at the University for Oklahoma he set an NCAA record for most pin fall victories. Swagger said within 4 months of joining WWE he was the ECW champion. Swagger said it didn’t matter how many people were in the money in the bank ladder match, he still would have won. Swagger said he didn’t plan on this, but it couldn’t have come at a better time. Swagger said he’s a replacement for Shawn Michaels as the greatest living wrestler on the planet. Chris Jericho finally stopped this boring promo by coming out. Chris told Swagger to give him back the belt, talking to him like he was a dog that stole the paper. Swagger said it’s his now and Chris can’t do anything about it. Chris said he is the champion, not Swagger. Chris said Swagger has committed the biggest crime in WWE history by stealing the belt. Chris said Swagger is so lucky he’s injured right now, but he heals fast! Chris said when he gets better he’s going to take the belt back from him. Chris asked the parasites if they understood what he was saying. Chris said he wants this travesty righted right now! Edge came down to the ring. Edge told Swagger to face him and be a real champion. Edge said he doesn’t think Swagger would be champion if it wasn’t for Edge. Edge said if anyone can appreciate cashing in money in the bank it’s him. Edge said Swagger should face someone who’s not injured and afraid. Chris said Edge has no right to request that match, Chris told Edge he’s got no right to request that match, Edge had his chance but Chris beat him. Edge said he hit Chris with the 2 spears that caused him to be ex-champion. Teddy Long came out and said they have a situation. Teddy said Chris has a rematch he doesn’t want. Teddy said Edge can take it, but he doesn’t have a rematch. Teddy said next week Chris and Edge will go 1 on 1 and the winner of that match will get a World heavyweight championship match with Swagger. Chris hit the code breaker on Edge, so Swagger hit Chris with the gut wrench powerbomb, and repeated the process on Edge! Show ended with Swagger posing.