August 23, 2009 – Los Angeles, California OFFICIAL QUICK & DIRTY RUN-DOWN:
Beth Phoenix won a 15-Divas Battle Royal (Dark Match)
Rey Mysterio defeated Dolph Ziggler (Intercontinental Title)
Montel Vontavious Porter defeated Jack Swagger (Grudge Match) Chris Jericho & The Big Show beat Cryme Tyme (Unified Tag Team Titles)
Kane defeated The Great Khali w/Ranjin Singh (Grudge Match)
DX (Triple H & Shawn Michaels) beat Legacy (Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes)
Christian defeated William Regal (ECW World Title) Randy Orton defeated John Cena (WWE Championship)
C.M. Punk defeated Jeff Hardy (World Heavyweight Title / TLC Match)
FAN AXXESS MATCH: Primo Colon defeated Chavo Guerrero..
FAN AXXESS MATCH: Hurricane Helms defeated Paul Burchill..
DARK MATCH – 15-DIVA BATTLE ROYAL Beth Phoenix WINS!: Special guest referee Chavo Guerrero tossed Kelly Kelly & Eve Torres out of the ring allowing Beth Phoenix to win the match! All of the Divas attacked Guerrero after the match, and this allowed Hornswoggle to run out and hit a Tadpole Splash!
WWE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH Rey Mysterio defeated Dolph Ziggler to retain the WWE Intercontinental title: Excellent match.
BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW Josh Mathews & Montel Vontavious Porter & Jack Swagger: Josh Mathews said tonight’s match was being called a culture clash. Jack Swagger said everyone knows he is a future WWE champion, and his opponent is an ex-con(vict). Swagger said MVP will be a stepping stone for him. MVP said he wished he had Swagger’s wonderful life while growing up. MVP said he has paid for his decisions (not mistakes). MVP said when Swagger was in the NCAA his prize was a trophy, but when he (MVP) was fighting in prison his prize was to live another day!
GRUDGE MATCH Montel Vontavious Porter defeated Jack Swagger: Good match.
RINGSIDE: They showed Luke Perry (of 90210 fame) sitting at ringside..
INTERVIEW SEGMENT: Access Hollywood’s Nancy O’Dell plugged her “Betty’s Battle” foundation (www.BettysBattle.com) to raise money for ALS (Lou Gehrig disease) and then interviewed Freddie Prince Jr. – who vowed revenge on Randy Orton for the assault on this past Monday on RAW..
UNIFIED TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH Chris Jericho & The Big Show defeated Cryme Tyme (Shad Gaspard & JTG) to retain the Unified Tag Team titles: Before the match, Chris Jericho said there were a lot of celebrities there tonight but that doesn’t impress him. Jericho said he and Big Show are better than celebrities, and are, by far, the most famous people in the building tonight. Jericho bragged about their combined 40 titles, and said Big Show has something very important to say. The Big Show said he had one thing to get off his chest, but he was interrupted by the entrance of Cryme Tyme! Late in the match, Jericho put JTG in the Walls of Jericho. JTG muscled his way to the ropes to break the hold. Jericho tangled with the referee, while Big Show knocked JTG out with a right hand punch! Jericho covered JTG for the 1-2-3 to win the match and retain the Unified Tag Team titles! Great match.
BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW Josh Mathews & C.M. Punk: C.M. Punk said he had a friend in Hollywood who stumbled upon a screenplay about The Jeff Hardy Story. Punk said it culminates with Jeff conquering his demons and beating him tonight in a TLC match at SummerSlam. Punk said it was a feel good story, except for the ending, which is not reality based. Punk said it was phoney just like everyone in this town (Los Angeles). Punk said he was the only real person in the building. Punk said little kids all over the world who idolize the hip cool star, and it doesn’t matter if the hip cool star is some dork vampire in Twilight, or if the hip cool star has a wreckless lifestyle like Jeff Hardy. Punk said they don’t make movies about guys like him because he doesn’t support their society. Punk said he is dismissed because he comes off as preachy. Punk said he has never been preachy, he just speaks the truth. Punk said he’s never written a screenplay but he is going to rewrite the Jeff Hardy Story tonight.
GRUDGE MATCH Kane defeated The Great Khali w/Ranjin Singh: The Great Khali has the Vice-grip on Kane, but he made it to the ropes to break the hold. Kane grabbed Ranjin Singh and pulled him into the ring. Kane pushed Singh into Khali, and the referee put his focus on getting Singh out of the ring. Kane drop-kicked Khali’s knee and hit him with a DDT for the win! Terrible match.
RINGSIDE: They showed super-cute Maria Manounos (of The Today Show) sitting at ringside..
RINGSIDE: They showed not-so-cute Slash (of Guns N Roses fame) sitting at ringside..
RINGSIDE: They showed Robert Patrick (of “Terminator 2” & “The Marine”) sitting at ringside..
TAG TEAM GRUDGE MATCH DX (Triple H & Shawn Michaels) defeated Legacy (Ted DiBiase Jr. & Cody Rhodes): DX has a really elaborate expensive entrance, with a truck load of pyro. They drove some army vehecles into the arena with “armed” soldiers to secure the area. They actually fired rounds into the air with their guns. More crazy green pyro went off and DX entered the arena on top of a TANK! Shawn Michaels layed down and fired the cannon from between his legs to make it look like.. well you get the idea. It was really quite impressive, and the highlight of the night for most people. When they finally made it to the ring, they did their DX gimmick on the microphone. It was a long match, and Legacy managed to hang in there with DX the entire time. Every time DX looked to get on a roll, Legacy would do the right thing to stop it. It’s like Legacy read the book on DX. The finish saw Triple H take out Ted DiBiase by clothelining him over the announce table. In the ring, Shawn Michaels super-kicked Cody Rhodes and pinned him to win the match! Michael Cole called it the greatest match of DX’s career. It was a great match, but Cole definitely over-sold it.
ECW WORLD TITLE MATCH Christian defeated William Regal (w/Vladimir Kozlov & Ezekiel Jackson) to retain the ECW World title: Christian won the match in eight seconds with a Killswitch before the challenger could even take off his jacket. After the match, Ezekiel Jackson planted Christian with his Uranage finisher, then Vladimir Kozlov planted Christian with HIS Uranage finisher! William Regal then put Christian in the Regal Stretch to get some heat for a future rematch.
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Randy Orton defeated John Cena to retain the WWE championship: Late in the match, both men were exchanging punches and Randy Orton got desperate. Orton shoved the referee and got intentionally disqualified. Lilian Garcia made a bonehead mistake and announced Randy Orton the winner and NEW WWE champion (was she even watching the match?) but then corrected herself. Lilian announced that Vince McMahon ordered that the match be restarted, and if Orton got DQ’d he would lose his title! A few moments later, Orton grabbed his belt and got intentionally counted out. Once again, Vince McMahon ordered that the match be restarted and if Orton got counted out he would lose his title! Orton avoided the Attitude Adjustment and pinned Cena with his feet on the ropes, but a second referee ran down and got the match restarted for a third time! John Cena clotheslined Orton and put him in the STF with full pressure on the neck. Right at the climax of the match, a fan (later revealed to be Brett DiBiase) jumped in the ring and on top of the referee before he was taken out by security. Orton snapped Cena’s neck with an RKO on the ropes and followed up with a second RKO in the ring! Orton covered Cena for the 1-2-3 retain his WWE championship in controversial fashion! Incredible match!
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TLC MATCH C.M. Punk defeated Jeff Hardy to win the World Heavyweight title: The stage, entrance path, and ringside area were filled with various tables, ladders, and chairs – all legal within the confines of a TLC match. They said there have been eight TLC matches and Jeff Hardy has been in five of them. They failed to mention that Hardy has never won a TLC match either. The bell rang and within a minute they were utilizing the ladder as a weapon. The crowd changed “we want tables” and Jeff Hardy went for a steel chair (can’t listen to the audience, you must follow the script). The first big spot came a few minutes into the match when Hardy set up Punk on a table at ringside. Hardy jumped off the top rope for a splash, but Punk moved off the table and Hardy crashed through it! Punk lifted a 12-foot ladder into the ring and set it up. Punk began to climb, but Hardy caught up to him. Hardy made a sprint towards the top but Punk pulled him down – Hardy reversed it on the way down and planted Punk with a power-bomb! Hardy started to climb the ladder and touched the belt just before Punk pushed the ladder over, sending Hardy crashing into the ropes. Hardy took an awkward bump on that one. Punk nailed Hardy with a Super-plex on top of the collapsed ladder (ouch!). Hardy landed perfectly on the ladder, and Punk hit the edge, so Punk got the worst of that one. Hardy hit the Twist of Fate in the middle of the ring. Hardy climbed to the top rope for a Swanton-bomb but Punk got his knees up! Hardy is really taking a beating in this match. Punk hit a running knee in the corner, but Hardy grabbed him and dumped him over the top rope through a table on the floor! Hardy started to climb the ladder, but Punk spring-boarded and knocked Hardy off. They spilled out to the floor and traded weapon shots, including some pretty vicious chairshots. Hardy put Punk on the ECW announce table and set up a 15-foot ladder next to it. Hardy climbed to the top of the ladder and did a psychotic Swanton-bomb straight down onto Punk through the table!!! HOLY SH*T! chants sounded throughout the Staples Center. They put Jeff Hardy on a stretcher and began to carry him out, but he pulled himself off and willed himself back into the ring just in time to meet Punk at the top of the ladder. They exchanged punches until a limp Hardy crashed and burned down to the mat, allowing Punk to snatch the World Heavyweight title!! C.M. Punk stood over the fallen Jeff Hardy celebrating with the World Heavyweight title when the lights went out. When the lights came back on, the Undertaker had switched places with Hardy in the ring! He got up and choke-slammed Punk in the middle of the ring!