WRESTLEMANIA QUICK & DIRTY RESULTS:
Mr. Kennedy won the 3rd Annual Money in the Bank Ladder Match
The Great Khali defeated Kane (Super Heavyweight Grudge Match)
Chris Benoit defeated Montel Vontavious Porter (U.S. Title Match)
The Undertaker defeated Batista (World Heavyweight Title Match)
The ECW Originals defeated The New Breed (8-Man Tag Team Match)
Bobby Lashley w/Donald Trump defeated Umaga w/Mr. McMahon
~~(Battle of the Billionaires — “Hair vs. Hair Match”)~~
~~(Special Guest Referee Stone Cold Steve Austin)~~
~~(Vince McMahon had his head shaven complately bald!)~~ Melina Perez defeated Ashley Massaro (WWE Women’s Title Match) John Cena defeated Shawn Michaels (WWE Championship Match)
FREE FOR ALL PRE-SHOW: Hosted by Todd Grisham..
Video Package hyping the World Heavyweight title match between Champion Batista and The Undertaker..
Video Package hyping the Battle of the Billionaires match featuring Vince McMahon and Donald Trump..
All eight guys quickly started to brawl and spilled outside the ring where Fit Finlay jumped on them from the top rope. A few of the participants made early attempts to climb the ladder but were unsuccessful at retrieving the briefcase. King Booker found Hornswoggle’s 2-foot ladder under the ring and somebody bloodied C.M. Punk’s forehead with it. The Hardy Boyz were the first to use the bigger ladders as weapons against their six opponents inside of the ring. Edge suplexed Matt Hardy onto two ladders. Mr. Kennedy missed a Kenton bomb and cracked the back of his head. The Hardyz set up a ladder and both climbed each side and started punching eachother at the top of the ladder. Finlay got up and pushed the ladder over, sending the Hardyz crash downward. Edge started spearing everybody! Edge went to spear the bloody C.M. Punk who leap frogged it and then did the whirly bird special with the ladder. Edge slide the extra tall 15-foot ladder into the ring and started to climb up but Randy Orton pushed him over! Edge was laid out on a ladder on the floor and Jeff Hardy did a crazy leap off the 15-foot ladder onto Edge (ouch!). Edge was stretchered out while Randy Orton started RKOing several guys in the ring and then climbed up the ladder. Orton RKO’d Punk off the top of the 10-foot ladder. King Booker then Bookended Orton from the top! Queen Sharmell interfered and King Booker was about to get the briefcase but Matt Hardy threatened to attack her. Finlay had blood coming from his head when he nailed Matt Hardy with a Celtic Cross right on a folded ladder. Finlay was having a hard time climbing the ladder so Hornswoggle showed up and climbed up the ladder for him. Mr. Kennedy showed up and delivered a stiff-looking Green Bay Plunge on Hornswoggle that absolutely murderd poor Horny! Punk alomost reached the briefcase but Mr. Kennedy rammed him with another ladder knocking him to the mat. Kennedy climbed the ladder with Punk underneath and snatched the briefcase to become Mr. Money in the Bank!
INTERVIEW: Todd Grisham interviewed Mr. Kennedy……Mr. Kennedy said that all the champions in the WWE should grow eyes in the back of their heads because he is coming for them! Mr. Kennedy said that nice guys finished last and proclaimed, “I am Mr. Money in the Bank…………………………..BANK!”
SUPER HEAVYWEIGHT INTERPROMOTIONAL GRUDGE MATCH The Great Khali defeated Kane: A few minutes into the match, Kane found the meat-hook under the ring but didn’t get to use it right away. Kane fought with The Great Khali and slammed him in the ring as a tribute to Hogan/Andre at WrestleMania III. The Great Khali defeated Kane with a big time tree-slam and then started choking him unconscious with the chain.
BACKSTAGE: Cryme Tyme wanted to cheer up Eugene so they got him three hookers — oh wait that’s Kelly, Layla and Brooke. Eugene wasn’t cheered up until Johnny Mae Young & Fabulous Moolah showed up and started dancing with Eugene. “The Doctor of Style” Slick then showed up, followed by Hall of Famer Dusty Rhodes, Jimmy Hart, and IRS (Mike Rotundo), plus Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat.. Howard Finkel, Sgt. Slaughter, and God knows who else showed up for the dance party and Ron Simmons interrupted with his trademark catch phrase, “DAMN!”
WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH Chris Benoit defeated Montel Vontavious Porter to retain the WWE United States title: MVP came out with brand new ring gear (same style, different color) with some cheerleaders. MVP had Chris Benoit’s number but couldn’t put the champion away and win the U.S. title..
BACKSTAGE: Donald Trump was shown with Miss USA Tara whatshername. Trump was on the the phone complaining that Vince McMahon couldn’t even provide some food for him. The Boogeyman showed up and the Miss USA girl ran away screaming but Donald Trump just sat there no-selling it..
VIDEO PACKAGE: They showed clips off the Hall of Fame Ceremony that took place the previous night in Detroit..
IN THE RING: Lilian Garcia announced that they set a new Ford Field record of 80,103 fans in attendance.. The actual attendance at Ford Field was 74,867. (Super Bowl 40 in Detroit drew 68,206 by comparison)..
IN THE RING: Howard Finkel introduced the World Wrestling Entertainment Hall of Fame Inductees Class of 2007…… Jim Ross, “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig, Jerry “The King” Lawler, Nick Bockwinkel, Mr. Fuji, The Wild Samoans, The Sheik, and Dusty Rhodes.. Don Muraco pushed Mr. Fuji’s wheelchair, Larry “The Ax” & Leonice Hennig represented Curt Hennig, and Joyce Farhat represented her husband, the Sheik (who is a Legend in Detroit)..
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH The Undertaker defeated Batista to win the World Heavyweight title!!! For some reason, SmackDown! General Manager Theodore Long acted as the guest ring announcer for this match. The crowd cheered everything that the Undertaker did and booed everything that World Champion Batista did. Batista viciously powerslammed The Undertaker off of one announce table and through a second announce table! The Undertaker took a lot of punishment but kept coming back with big moves only to have Batista kick out. Batista nailed the Batista-bomb but Undertaker kicked out! Batista stood up and couldn’t believe his eyes! A few moments later, The Undertaker planted Batista with a pile-driver and scored the 1-2-3 to win the match!
BACKSTAGE: Stephanie McMahon came into Vince’s locker room to wish her father good luck and brought her baby Aurora Rose along with her. Vince McMahon maniacally told the baby all the graphic & gruesome things he was going to do to Donald Trump. Vince said he smelt something and told Stephanie that the baby “just took a Trump” — Har Har Har..
ECW 8-MAN TAG TEAM MATCH The ECW Originals (Tommy Dreamer & The Sandman & Rob Van Dam & Sabu) defeated The New Breed (Elijah Burke & Marcus Cor Von & Matt Striker & Kevin Thorn w/Ariel): IT was a chaotic train-wreck that ended when Rob Van Dam frog-splashed Matt Striker to win the match! Joey Styles concluded the match with “Oh my GOD! The ECW Originals have just won at WrestleMania!”..
BATTLE OF THE BILLIONAIRES – HAIR VS. HAIR MATCH Bobby Lashley w/Donald Trump defeated Umaga (w/Vince McMahon & Armando Alejandro Estrada): The Battle of the Billionaires, where the losing Billionaire would have his head shaved bald right after the match. The special guest referee was Stone Cold Steve Austin, who has promised there will be a bald billionaire at WM23. Donald Trump came out with former Miss USA Tara Conner as cold hard cash fell from the ceiling for the fans. Armando Alejandro Estrada interfered so Bobby Lashley destroyed him as Stone Cold Steve Austin watched on. Referee Steve Austin was not shy about getting physically involved when either man would not listen to him. Vince McMahon jumped up on the ring apron to complain and Bobby Lashley hit the ropes sending Vince flying! Both competitors were knocked down and referee Steve Austin counted to nine and then decided to stop counting. Shane McMahon came down to check on Vince McMahon, who was still laid out on the floor from taking the fall. Shane McMahon distracted referee Steve Austin and a disoriented Umaga destroyed Stone Cold with a Samoan Spike! Shane McMahon started attacking Lashley and Umaga destroyed Lashley with a running corner Butt-smash! Shane then did a Coast-to-Coast (Van-terminator) and drop-kicking a trash can into Lashley’s face! Shane took his shirt off revealing a referee shirt and dragged Lashley to the center of the ring. Umaga nailed a top rope splash and Shane started to make the count but Steve Austin pulling him out of the ring. Austin got back in the ring and walked right into another Samoan Spike from Umaga to take him down again. Donald Trump ran around the ring and gave Vince McMahon a running clotheline and walked away feeling confident (highlight reel material). Steve Austin dodged a third Samoan Spike and nailed a Stunner on Umaga and Lashley finished off Umaga to win!!!
POST MATCH: Vince McMahon tried to run away but Steve Austin threw him back into the ring and bad-mouthed him in front of Donald Trump. Shane McMahon came to his daddy’s rescue but referee Steve Austin attacked him and gave him a Stone Cold Stunner! Vince snuck away and seemingly escaped his fate until Lashley chased him up the ramp to catch him! Lashley carried McMahon back to the ring on his shoulder where he got a big time Stone Cold Stunner! They all strapped Vince McMahon in the barber chair and shared in the joy of shaving Mr. McMahon completely bald…
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH John Cena defeated Shawn Michaels to retain the WWE Championship: The big pre-match video package to hype this match was probably the best they have ever done in the WWE. A Ford Mustang was shown driving through the streets of Detroit and entered Ford Field and into the arena. The car crashed through a glass WrestleMania billboard and John Cena stepped out with his WWE championship. Shawn Michaels did a spring-board moonsault and bent Cena backwards over the announce table (did not break). Cena ducked a super-kick from Michaels, but the referee took the full brunt of the errant superkick! A bloodied Michaels pushed the envelope and gave Cena a scary spike pile-driver on the ring steps. Cena started bleeding from the top/back of his head as Michaels rolled him back inside the ring. A second referee (Jack Doan) sprinted down to the ring and counted 1-2 before John Cena miraculously kicked out. A few minutes later, Cena managed to execute an F-U on Michaels, but could only secure a two count! They started doing an exciting series of reversals and near falls reminisent of Steamboat vs. Savage at WMIII. Cena locked in the STF-U but Michaels reached the ropes and the referee had to pull Cena off of HBK. Cena started argueing with the referee and lost focus until Michaels connected with sweet chin music! They both struggled to their feet using each other to maintain balance and went into another series of counters! Cena ended up putting Michaels in the STF-U again and eventually Michaels was forced to tap out….. John Cena wanted to shake hands with Shawn Michaels, but Michaels continued to walk away from the ring…