WWE SmackDown! – March 9, 2012 – Uncasville, Connecticut
Announcers: Michael Cole & Josh Matthews & Booker T
[ REVIEWED BY DARBY GATORADE ]
IN THE RING
John Laurinaitis & David Otunga: David Otunga introduced John Lauriniatis, and a steel cage lowered over the ring (to protect them?). Anyway, JL is the General Manager of SmackDown! for this night – as Teddy Long was the G.M. of RAW a few days ago). JL said he should run both shows and tonight he will prove why. JL said Teddy Long never started an episode of SmackDown! with a steel cage match!
WWE UNITED STATES “STEEL CAGE” TITLE MATCH
Santino Marella defeated Jack Swagger w/Vickie Guerrero to retain the WWE United States title: Dolph Ziggler came down and hurt his hand on the cage trying to interfere, but he was ejected by the referee. Swagger had Santino in the Anklelock and Santino tried to crawl out the door. Vickie fought with the referee for control of the door. Santino reversed and sent Swagger falling towards the door, where Vickie accidentally slammed the door on his head (thinking it was Santino)! Santino then crawled out of the ring to win the match and retain his title! Santino hugged Teddy Long on the stage!
John Laurinaitis (w/David Otunga) & Theodore Long: JL booked Aksana vs. Kane. Suddenly Long wanted to bury their differences, and asked him man-to-man not to put Aksana in harms way. JL refused. Long said PLEASE. JL said he never got his apology. Long apologized. JL said wasn’t good enough, and they should settle it in the ring. JL said if Long wins, Aksana will face Kane (that is not a typo).
HYPE: Triple H vs. The Undertaker in a Hell in a Cell match at WrestleMania.
Drew McIntyre defeated Hornswoggle: Drew McIntyre was fired last week, but was brought back by John Laurinaitis to face a mystery opponent to get his job back. They first brought out the Great Khali, but it was a psych-out and Drew’s real mystery opponent was Hornswoggle. Khali sat down at ringside. Drew demolished Hornswoggle and brutalized him before pinning him. Great Khali stepped in and saved Hornswoggle.
Theodore Long & Aksana: Aksana came in with her bad acting saying she was scared. Long said he needs to make an impression on the board of directors and John Laurinaitis needs to be taught a lesson.
John Laurinaitis (w/David Otunga): Preparing for his “match”..
Mark Henry defeated Ezekiel Jackson with the World’s Strongest Slam:
IN THE RING (GENERAL MANAGERS MATCH)
John Laurinaitis (w/David Otunga) vs. Theodore Long (w/Aksana): JL reminded Long that Kane was ready to take on Aksana. JL told Long to be a man and do the right thing and lay down. Long looked at Aksana but refused to lay down. Kane walked down and stalked Aksana but he was intercepted by Randy Orton! JL was livid, and he was rolled up by Teddy Long for the 1-2-3!
Theodore Long & Aksana: They celebrated and immediately left the arena.
NON (WWE TAG TEAM) TITLE MATCH
Kofi Kingston & R-Truth defeated WWE Tag Team champions Epico & Primo w/Rosa:
VIDEO PACKAGE: John Cena vs. The Rock..
Michael Cole + “The Great White” Sheamus + World Heavyweight champion Daniel Bryan: Bryan bragged about beating Mark Henry in a Lumberjack match, then beating Henry & Big Show in a steel cage at Royal Rumble, then winning the Elimination Chamber. Bryan said it was not luck it was his pure knowledge and application of scientific wrestling. Bryan said it was the vegan lifestyle that keeps him mentally and physically fit. Bryan said it was also his charisma and undeniable sex appeal that contributes to his success. Cole pointed out that it takes some luck to win the Royal Rumble. Sheamus said he’s been lucky all his life, and is proud to come from Ireland, but feels lucky to be working in America. Sheamus said he has fought himself back to the top, and never hid behind a 95 pound girl. AJ tried to stick up for herself but Bryan told her to shut up. Bryan said AJ has had nothing to do with his success. Sheamus said Bryan was an arrogant whiny little wimp, and promised to beat him for the World Heavyweight title at WrestleMania.
SIX MAN TAG TEAM MATCH
Randy Orton & The Big Show & Sheamus defeated Daniel Bryan & Cody Rhodes & The Miz: Big Show ended up chasing Cody Rhodes backstage. Sheamus and Bryan also brawled away from the ring area. Randy Orton hit the Miz with an RKO for the win. After the match, Randy Orton continued his brawl with Kane.