Hello OWW readers and welcome to Women’s Wrestling Write-up, a brand new week-in-review of all things women’s wrestling. I’m Jack White (@Jack5326 on Twitter, shamelessly plugging myself already!) and each and every week, I will be looking at the highlights of a week inside the squared circle. I will offer opinion on the WWE Divas, TNA Knockouts and on occasion, I hope to cover indy action aswell so look out for some WSU and Shimmer coverage and I may look at Joanie Laurer’s upcoming ‘tapings’ (just kidding, no-one needs to see the She-Hulk unleashed!) So before I continue to ramble on about Chyna and her blue movie bad self, let’s explain the format of WWW!
Depending on the number of segments from the previous week that I will recap, I hope to rank segments in the following order: Opening Contest, an enjoyable segment that whilst not the best of the week, will kick off my column in a positive light (as when it comes to the Divas divison, positives are few and far between!); Midcard Mediocrity, which will feature bland and generic run-of-the-mill moments; the Death Slot, which is where the worst moment of the week will be featured and this part of the column gets its name because it’s right before, THE MAIN EEEEVEEENTT! The Main Event is exactly what it says on the tin, the stand-out moment of the week! I will also be naming my OMG and WTH moments of the week, which will basically be me ranting like I’m a recently released superstar telling all in sordid shoot interview. And I will warn you now; I can get very opinionated and if I want a certain storyline to happen, WWE better well listen!
This past week (Wednesday 30th – Monday 4th) was pretty lacklustre for women’s wrestling unfortunately, unless your name is A.J Lee. I will be discussing A.J’s bonkers behaviour from RAW a few days ago and I will also be looking over Tamina vs Kaitlyn from NXT, Alicia Fox vs Beth Phoenix from WWE Superstars and I will give my thoughts on the storylines in TNA that would give Days Of Our Lives a run for its money. Without further ado, cue Lillian Garcia tripping over and ring the bell!
This week’s opening contest is from WWE Superstars and pits the funky and flamboyant Alicia Fox against ‘The Glamazon’ Beth Phoenix. Will Beth gain some momentum as she sets her sights on Layla or will our Princess Of China wannabe strut her way to a win?
My thoughts: This was a stellar performance by these two Divas and shows exactly what both can do when given more than 28 seconds in the ring. Alicia was crisp and fluid and looked the best she has in a long time. I loved her comeback which featured some incredible dropkicks and I also enjoyed that she used the Northern Lights Suplex on Beth. Beth is one of WWE strongest Divas so by allowing Alicia to use that move on her, it made Alicia come across as strong aswell as sassy and athletic. Beth was her usual reliable self and I enjoyed her work in the match, other than the botchy looking Glam Slam, yet I think the camera angle more or less saved it from looking too ineffective. Also, it’s great that the Glamasuits are making a comeback (I guess they’re in this season). They are definitely better than Alicia’s roadkill headwear and I’m sure OWW Radio’s David is smiling like a Cheshire cat somewhere knowing his Glamazon is looking FIIIINE once again!
Onto the segments that make up this week’s Midcard Mediocrity now and the spot this week goes to the antics of TNA’s IMPACT Wrestling! TNA was live last Thursday and the debut of Brooke Hogan was set to be a one not to miss. Did Brooke live up to the hype or did her segment bomb more than her single ‘About Us’?
My thoughts: Hmm, is it just me or was everyone expecting a little more than just some cringe-worthy, safe mic time? There are definitely some positives to come out Brooke’s arrival. I think she will make for a fun character and I see her turning into a spoilt brat heel in the future, however in her debut night, she did NOTHING with the Knockouts. If Dixie and Brooke were so passionate about the division, don’t you think they would get their hands dirty straight away and make some matches? For what it was, it was fine which is why it sits in Midcard Mediocrity this week. Other goings-on this week were a backstage segment involving Madison Rayne discussing her crush and my OMG moment of the week, Dixie Carter f-bombing like she was on an episode of Real Housewives! Firstly to discuss Madison, I am more of a fan of Madison’s character as opposed to her in-ring work so I am excited to see where this storyline is going. A managerial and occasional wrestler role for her wouldn’t be a bad thing in my mind, and it’s great to see a company giving some spotlight to a character who isn’t in the main picture. Take notes WWE creative! Now onto the woman I love to hate and hate to love, Dixie Carter! I hope that made sense but if it didn’t, it’s quite appropriate as Dixie’s stories in the past have been nothing short of cray (look at me channelling Kanye West, don’t ask me why I just did that though, I have no clue!) and this one is no exception. Once again, I am interested to see where Dixie’s sultry shenanigans with A.J Styles are headed, although I was a bit disappointed that she didn’t call anyone a ‘smugsh**’ again; I guess she saves that line exclusively for Eric Bischoff!
Onto the dreaded Death Slot now and sadly NXT is sitting in it this week. The match that took place featured Maxine on commentary and it saw ‘The Samoan Goddess’ Tamina vs everyone’s favourite bottle spinner, Kaitlyn! It’s unusual to see a Face vs Face match so who will the crowd root for? Will the Superfly Senorita pull it out of the bag or will WWE’s resident two-tone tomboy get the job done? Find out below.
My thoughts: Some people may disagree, but I thought this match was like listening to a lullaby. There wasn’t enough offence for Kaitlyn to be considered a comeback and her win came out of nowhere and to me, it felt flat. Maxine was sadly not on form at the commentary booth either and normally she sounds just as good as she looks, but not this week. Something didn’t really click with me which is a shame as I enjoy the all three girls involved this week. It’s a shame NXT’s storylines have been dropped and I cannot for the life of me understand why but as this season of NXT waits in Limbo ready for the new one to arrive, (featuring Paige, *Anti-Diva screams*), the matches seem to be stuck in the limbo between good and bad too.
Now before I get to the main event full of positivity, I have to get my last negative out of the way. My WTH (WHAT THE HELL??!!) Moment/Opinion of the week addresses Layla. The WHAT THE HELL??!! moment of the week will let you all know what I am pulling my hair out over, so here goes! Is there some missing persons posters that I haven’t seen yet or something? Where is the Divas Champion and where is her personality? Layla hasn’t really been seen in two weeks and sadly (SPOILER ALERT) she isn’t on this week’s Smackdown either. Layla used to be one of the most fun and interesting characters on the roster and now she is barely seen; and when she is, she has been able to showcase about as much charisma as a brick. WWE need to sort themselves out and do something with their champion. Whilst the company is debuting a lot of new stars who will obviously take up time on the broadcasts, that is no excuse to completely ignore a division.
Finally, drum roll please! The combined segments that I have awarded as this week’s main event both star our now psycho pocket rocket, AJ! In recent weeks, AJ has started to turn her attentions to the WWE Champion CM Punk and now it appears that she will be a crucial plot device used to connect CM Punk, Daniel Bryan and Kane. Kane’s inclusion in the WWE Title picture confused me at first, but is he pulling AJ’s strings perhaps? Check out AJ’s involvement in Kane vs CM Punk below and also see her talk to Josh Mathews after the match.
My thoughts: WWE, please do what you’re doing with A.J to other members of your Divas roster please, k, thanks. A.J is by far the most exciting element of the division right now and I am genuinely excited to see where she aligns herself in this feud. Is she just a crazy stalker of Punk or is she secretly in cahoots with Kane? Could she even be ready to shock the world and get back with Bryan? The possibilities are endless and it is incredibly refreshing to see something so unpredictable involving a Diva.
Well, I have nearly come to the end of my first Women’s Wrestling Write-Up and I hope that you enjoyed it! I hope to fully recap each match move-by-move in the future, yet I’ve had a busy weekend away from home to celebrate the end of my second year at university, so I hope you can forgive me for not calling the action like the color commentator I strive to be! Whether you have read only a part of this column or the whole thing, thanks for checking it out and thanks to OWW for giving me the opportunity. Until next time, whether you’re a Diva or a Superstar in life, have a knockout week! See what I did there? It was lame wasn’t it? Damn. Well, whilst I think of a more witty sign-off, have a great week everyone!
– Jack White