Before I get into the main point of this week’s blog, let me just say reiterate what THOUSANDS of fans were chanting as the Last Knockout Standing match at Slammiversary came to an end… HOLY $!*# …did those two blow the roof off of the Agganis Arena or what?! Of course I had no doubt that my BFFFFFF would tear the house down but I have to hand it to Taryn Terrell for not only hanging with one of the best women wrestlers of all time, but to have gone so far as to pull off the win, and with a finishing move that made me cringe from my couch! Kudos to these two for continuing to set the bar for the standard of women’s wrestling, as only the TNA Knockouts can do! OH, and while I’m on the topic of Slammiversary, Miss Hogan, shame on you for not doing your homework. Last Sunday aaaactually marked the SECOND EVER “Last Knockout Standing” match. I believe it was Against All Odds 2011 where Mickie James and I had it out in the first ever LKS match. Tsk Tsk Miss Hogan! Do I remember not too long ago, being told that I needed to take time off until I could separate my personal and professional matters? I’m just saying, if you need a little break from the job to get your mind right, I think yours truly is MORE than qualified to take over the position. Think about it.
Now that I’ve painted a nice, detailed picture for everyone of how intense the job of a Knockout can be, I want to break it down a little further. I cannot begin to count the number of times in a single week that I get asked “what advice can you give to a future Knockout?” Or “what can I do to get into the Knockouts Division?” Since my typical answer of “pray… a lot” doesn’t seem to appease the majority of people, I figured I would give my opinion on what it really takes to make it as a Knockout. Obviously I’m not the hire/fire committee, not yet anyway, but being around for the last 4 ½ years gives me a little insight on what works and what definitely does not!
First and foremost, DO NOT attempt to get hired by Impact Wrestling if you have the personality of a rock. One of the biggest reasons that our Knockouts are untouchable is because we are all larger than life personalities. What you see on camera is absolutely what you can expect behind the scenes. ODB is constantly hands on with her goodies and has a drink in hand. Christy Hemme is always over the top happy about everything, every day, all the time (I’m still working with her on the importance of a bad day now and then!) and Mickie James has enough headbands and hair beads to make Pocahontas herself jealous! Put a camera in our faces and some incredibly bright lights above our heads and you’re going to get more personality than you know what to do with. THAT IS WHY PEOPLE HAVE THEIR FAVORITE KNOCKOUTS, because we all have an identifiable personality that a wide array of fans can relate to. Nobody is going to connect with the boring girl. Eww! Who wants to be “that girl” anyway?
Next order of business, LOOK LIKE A STAR! Each and every single one of the girls in the locker room has a level of excellence that they hold themselves to. We all make a routine of going to the gym, we all know what it means to run a brush through our hair (even though ODB sometimes opts not to, she somehow makes it work for her!) and we don’t show up to an autograph signing in ragged pair of jeans and a “hoodie.” You are your own walking advertisement ladies. Invest in a few good sets of wrestling gear, a curling iron, some makeup, and a sense of self confidence. After all, you are applying to be seen by millions of fans all over the world, on a weekly basis. Each of us is a direct reflection of President Dixie Carter, and anyone who knows Dixie, knows that at all times she is a 10! Why shouldn’t her female talent follow suit?!
Last but not least, for the love of all things sparkly and expensive, do your homework before you apply for the job. Taryn Terrell came to the company as a referee but you can bet your back side she had a well-rounded knowledge of what to do if push came to shove. Within a few months of being in the company Taryn is now one of the top contenders for the Knockout Title. Need I point out that she also came with an abundance of personality, and she’s easy on the eye? Case in point! Miss Tessmacher, came to the company as Eric Bischoff’s secretary, ended up being a 2x Knockout Champion. You can come to day one on the job with personality out the wazoo and a look that belongs in magazines, but if you trip over your own two feet stepping into the ring, you’re in trouble if someone like Gail Kim is in the opposite corner (although that scenario would be extremely entertaining if you ask me!) It is a package deal that gets you a contract, ladies! And part of the package is wresting know-how! That’s a crucial part of survival. Do you really want Mickie James to have you in position to be dropped on your brains without any idea of how to counter her? The answer is no! Because when she drops you on your melon, it HURTS! Take it from one who knows all too well!
So in conclusion ladies, it takes more than a pretty face or a mean forearm to the head to be privileged enough to call yourself a Knockout. I mean, look at the Queen Bee. Brains, personality, an amazing body, looks to kill for and an in ring skill set that takes most people years to perfect. Call it a gift; I was a natural from day one. That’s why, in an act of complete selflessness, I graciously offered an inside look on what it takes to be one of us. Now, with all that said, please don’t think for one second that while I’m out of the ring on leave, that anyone is going to storm onto the scene and take my place. That, just simply will NOT happen. But best of lucky trying!