TNA IMPACT 03 05 2009


Location: Orlando, Florida (Universal Studios)
Date: March 5, 2009 (Taped: February 23-24)

Jeremy Borash & Jeff Jarrett: Jeff Jarrett announced that Kurt Angle was suspended from TNA for one week without pay because of what he did last week. Wow, one whole week, way to lay down the law Double J. Jarrett added that Angle’s salary will be donated to a worthy charity.

RINGSIDE: The show started on an awkward note with Don West explaining why he walked off the set after telling off Mike Tenay last week. Don West sounded like he was getting emotional, but then said he wouldn’t change a thing and he meant every work. West down the viewers to relax, sit back and enjoy the ride…. Mike Tenay said the next two hours would be as much fun as an emergency landing in the Hudson river. West said he made his point and he feels comfortable with it….

Mick Foley + Sting + The Main Event Mafia (Kevin Nash & Scott Steiner & Booker T): Mick Foley came out and introduced the TNA World Heavyweight champion, Sting! Sting came out still wearing his Main Event Mafia gear. I don’t need a crystal ball. Foley thanked Sting for saving him last week when he was trapped in Kurt Angle’s anklelock. Foley said it wasn’t the first time Sting saved him. Foley said the most important moment of his career was when he jumped out of a cardboard box and dropped the elbow of a lifetime on Sting. Foley said that move changed his life, because it was with Sting. Foley said everything he has – books and fans – it goes back to the first time Sting saved him. Foley said after all those years, now he would like to save Sting. Foley said he hopes he has seen the last of Sting in the Main Event Mafia. Foley said that TNA needs Sting back. Sting said he appreciated the kind words, especially coming from Foley. Sting said he can’t let Kurt Angle dictate if he will be in the Mafia or not. Sting said he has a lot of history with the rest of the Mafia. Foley said he may have gave him the flying elbow but he never used Sting like the Main Event Mafia is doing right now. The Mafia (Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner, and Booker T w/Sharmell) came to the ring to set the record straight. Nash told Foley to relax. Nash said Foley doesn’t know the little punks (in the locker room) like he does, and reminded Sting that Foley is a stooge from the office. Nash said they were “this close” to getting the respect they deserve. Sting said he doesn’t have a problem with Nash, Steiner, or Booker T – but Kurt did not show respect when he spit in his face. Nash said they all knew Kurt was a hothead, but if he goes to war he wants Kurt Angle next to him.. but he wants Sting, too. Nash said Foley & Jarrett painted Sting & Angle into a corner and now they gotta fight. Nash said they can fight with honor, dignity, and respect. Nash said when it was over they could shake hands, because no matter who wins the TNA belt stays with the Mafia. Nash said the alternative is for Sting to turn his back and walk away. Nash said Sting might be able to live with that, but he, Scotty, and Booker can’t. The segment ended and Kurt Angle (who was suspended) arrived backstage at the iMPACT Zone.

Lauren Brooke & Consequences Creed & Jay Lethal: Consequences Creed & Jay Lethal were all dressed up and they explained that Jeff Jarrett gave them a bonus – presumably part of Kurt Angle’s salary… Lethal talked about the disloyalty showed by the Motor City Machine Guns…

Alex Shelley w/Chris Sabin defeated Kiyoshi to retain the TNA X-Division title: After the match, SUICIDE (Christopher Daniels) flew in on a zip-line and knocked Sabin into Shelley. SUICIDE took out Sabin and then Shelley as a heel Don West complained that SUICIDE only attacked people when they are tired. Mike Tenay agreed with Don West and said he would like to see SUICIDE in the Ultimate X match at Destination X..

Kurt Angle & Kevin Nash & Scott Steiner & Booker T w/Sharmell: The Mafia members tried to tell Kurt Angle to do himself a favour and go home. Angle said he was there to have some fun. Booker T told Angle that Jeff Jarrett was giving his salary away to guys like Lethal & Creed, who were walking around in new suits. Angle said it was his money so it was his property, so in the spirit of good fun, he’ll go get his property!

Lauren Brooke & Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode & James Storm w/Jackie Moore): Robert Roode said he has lost a truck load of money in the recession but the good news he has lots of truck loads of money. Roode said that LAX accepted the “Off the Wagon” challenge and explained that either Homicide or Hernandez will be gone from TNA tonght!

“Spend the Night with ODB” Contest: They showed some video submissions, one of Canadian indy wrestler Cody Deaner (who is rumored to win and join TNA as a wrestler). They also had a funny video from Shark Boy saying he would throw his net in the water and see if he can pull in any fish, shrimp, or crabs – well maybe not crabs!

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Kurt Angle attacked Consequences Creed and ripped off his brand new suit.

The Beautiful People (Angelina Love & Velvet Sky w/Madison Rayne) beat Roxxi & Taylor Wilde (w/The Governor) and Awesome Kong & Raisha Saed and Rhaka Khan & Sojourner Bolt: Midway through the match, Madison Rayne walked down to ringside – after turning on Taylor Wilde last week. The Governor (aka Daffney) interfered and hit a few moves on the Beautiful People. The finish saw Madison Rayne spear Roxxi with a missile drop-kick off the top rope so Angelina could score the pin. It appears as though Madison Rayne is now aligned with the Beautiful People..

The Main Event Mafia (Booker T w/Sharmell & Scott Steiner) + A.J. Styles + Samoa Joe: Don West keeps going more heel and said he couldn’t believe A.J. Styles would stoop to cowardly tactics like attacking people from behind. Booker T said he was trying to show A.J. Styles some tough love, but A.J. Styles showed him how to be humble. Booker T called out Styles so he could apologize and they could squash it now and shake hands. Booker T said he knew it would make A.J. Styles a better man. Booker begged Styles to bring back his property (the Legend’s title) but then threatened to kick Styles’ ass. A.J. Styles music played but Styles attacked the two Mafia members from behind! Booker T & Steiner quickly over-powered Styles and kicked the crap out of him. Suddenly some police officers in riot gear hit the ring and arrested A.J. Styles before taking him away. Booker T grabbed his Legend’s title and took off. One of the riot guys stayed back and took off his helmet revealing Samoa Joe! Joe attacked Scott Steiner with the Samoan Tribal Knife. Don West scolded Mike Tenay for treating the Main Event Mafia like the Anti-Christ while condoning Joe’s actions. West said that the Main Event Mafia was the best thing going today! After the commercial, West said everyone was sick of Tenay’s bias and proclaimed that the Main Event Mafia was responsible for the recent ratings boost..

Booker T & Sharmell and A.J. Styles: Booker T & Sharmell taunted A.J. Styles as he was being taken away by police officers to take him to jail. Don West and Mike Tenay started argueing and West got up and walked off the set for the second week in a row. ..

Kurt Angle & Jay Lethal: Suddenly, Kurt Angle spilled through the curtain dragging and beating on “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal. Kurt gave Jay Lethal an AngleSlam and ripped his suit off!

Jeremy Borash & Jeff Jarrett: Jeff Jarrett said he was going out there to kick Kurt Angle’s ass..

Abyss & Dr. Stevie (Stevie Richards): Abyss blabbed on about the Tom & Jerry cartoon.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Where are the fricking wrestling matches?!?!

Matt Morgan defeated Shane Sewell: The match lasted four minutes. After the match, Matt Morgan found a bag under the ring and said it was the most important thing in the world to Abyss. Morgan poured the thumb-tacks out in the ring and said Abyss can’t compete with him in any way. Morgan bragged about his accomplishments and said Abyss was a mental patient. Morgan said he was the blueprint of the perfect athlete. Morgan said since he cannot bring Abyss up to his level he was going to sink down to Abyss’ level and challenged him to a “10,000 tacks” match at Destination X..

ANNOUNCEMENT: During the Sewell-Morgan match, Mike Tenay announced that Jim Cornette took possession of the Legend’s title and that Booker T was pissed off..

Lauren Brooke & Eric Young: Eric Young said he got his suit from the Salvation Army and spent the rest of Kurt Angle’s money on a surround sound system. Angle showed up and attacked Eric Young and they brawled until TNA securty pulled them apart!

Jim Cornette & Jeff Jarrett & Mick Foley + Sting: Jim Cornette tried to talk Jeff Jarrett out of fighting Kurt Angle and begged Mick Foley to talk some sense into him. All Foley said was “once a wrestler, always a wrestler. Jimmy, it’s in our blood!” Sting came in and said it would be over in two weeks and it was his fight. Jarrett said he would leave a piece of Angle for Sting at Destination X..

LAX (Homicide & Hernandez) defeated Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode & James Storm w/Jackie Moore): Hernandez still has his World title shot briefcase, and Homicide also had his X-Division title shot. So if they lose, they will also lose their title shots! The creative team have found a loophole to get out of that stipulation…. a good old fashioned DQ! So Beer Money keeps their titles and nobody loses their job. Team 3-D hit the ring to stop a post-match beat down on LAX..

Team 3-D (Brothers Ray & Devon): Brother Ray talked about the Off the Wagon challenge and Beer Money sending people home and messing with their ability to feed their family. Team 3-D accepted Beer Money’s challenge for an “Off the Wagon” match at Destination X!

Kurt Angle + Jeff Jarrett: Kurt Angle came to the ring and called out Jeff Jarrett, “hey boss!” Jarrett came out dressed for a fight and started going at it with Kurt Angle. The fight raged on for a few minutes until Jarrett literally pushed Angle out of the building and closed the door – locking him out! Mick Foley & Team 3-D showed up and celebrated with Jeff Jarrett..