TNA IMPACT 04 02 2009


Location: Orlando, Florida (Universal Studios)
Date: April 2, 2009 (Taped: March 30-31)

Jeff Jarrett + A.J. Styles + Scott Steiner: Jeff Jarrett said last week Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe won the right to be captains during Lethal Lockdown. Jarrett said Joe has agreed to be on the team but doesn’t want to be the captain. Jarrett named A.J. Styles the official team captain! Styles came out and said he was honored, but had to decline the offer because he is not qualified to be team captain. Styles said he has let Jarrett down. Styles said Jarrett put everything on the line to start TNA and employed a bunch of independent wrestlers. Styles said Jarrett hired the originals and they have let Jarrett down. Styles said he would be on Joe’s team at Lockdown, but someone who believed in them should lead them into battle – and that’s you, Jeff Jarrett! Styles guaranteed that they would not let Jarrett down this time! Jarrett accepted the offer with a handshake and a hug. Scott Steiner showed up and said when Jarrett started TNA seven years ago he filled the roster with nobodies, and now, except for the Main Event Mafia, it’s still full of nobodies! Steiner said he came out as Jarrett’s friend of over twenty years. Steiner said he and Jarrett were the same. Steiner said Jarrett has nothing in common with these punks (pointing at Styles). Steiner talked about meeting Jill (Jarrett’s wife, who passed away two years ago) and looking after his daughters. Steiner said Jill trusted him, and now Jeff needs to trust him. Steiner said if there was an emergency, who could he trust? Steiner told Jarrett to ask his daughters what they thought. Steiner said Jarrett needs to come back to where he belongs. Styles said there was a roster full of wrestlers who Jarrett can trust. Styles told Jarrett to have faith in what he trusted seven years ago. Styles challenged Steiner to a match tonight. Steiner accepted the challenge and told Jarrett “you gotta trust me.”

Jeremy Borash & Kurt Angle w/The Mafia: Kurt Angle said it was time for the Main Event Mafia to go to work. Angle said the TNA Frontline’s plan was to sway Sting over to the other side. Angle said Sting is still with the Mafia, but Jarrett is on an island by himself… Borash asked about Sting, and Angle admitted that the problem was with himself. Angle said he would offer an apology to Sting tonight. Angle told Nash to charm the pants off of Jenna Morasca to prevent her from investing her money into TNA.

Lauren Brooke & Sheik Abdul Bashir + NO LIMIT & Kiyoshi: Lauren Brooke said the Sheik asked for this time, so TNA decided to give him 15 seconds. The Sheik started talking, and was joined by Kiyoshi and NO LIMIT. The Sheik cut an agree promo saying “united we stand, divided we fall!”

Sheik Abdul Bashir & Kiyoshi & NO LIMIT defeated Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed & Homicide & Hernandez: The Sheik scored the pin and led his team to victory…

Jeremy Borash & Jeff Jarrett & Mick Foley: Jeremy Borash asked Jeff Jarrett about being invited to join the Main Event Mafia. Mick Foley interrupted and rambled on about weird stuff. Jarrett said he now regretes allowing Foley to buy into TNA. Jarrett said even Steiner is making more sense than Foley these days. Jarrett said maybe he should join the Mafia. Foley asked Jeff if he was Double J or Double D cause he sounds like Dougie Downer. Jarrett asked what was wrong with Foley? Jarrett said they were close to bringing down the Mafia, and then Foley decided to try to take Sting’s head off with a chair – setting them back six months. Foley said nobody wants to tune into TNA to see big guys getting along and friendly conversations. Foley said they need the Mafia. Jarrett said Mick wasn’t cut out to be a leader. Foley said he was going to make decisions and he is going to make a BIG ONE tonight!

Jeremy Borash & Jim Cornette & Team 3-D: Team 3-D were about to cash in a favour with Jim Cornette when the Mafia security guys interrupted and challenged Team 3-D to a match tonight. Cornette said “that’s what we need, two more big mouth Italians around here.” Cornette looked at Team 3-D and said “no offense.”

Mike Tenay & Don West + The Beautiful People (Angelina Love & Velvet Sky): Mike Tenay & Don West were previewing the show when they were interrupted by the Beautiful People. Velvet Sky heard the fans jeering them and called them a bunch of wild perverted dogs. Velvet said the marks will never have a chance with them! Angelina told Mike Tenay to plug the fact that Taylor Wilde would get a haircut tonight!

Mike Tenay & Mick Foley: Mike Tenay talked about Mick Foley smashing Sting with a chair when Sting was trying to protect him. Foley complained about Sting trying to be the great decider on his career, and felt a sense of freedom after he whacked Sting. Foley said he gave Sting way too much credit for making his career. Foley said he intends to drop the perfect elbow from high high hights at Lockdown. Foley said six months ago he didn’t dare to dream big enough to think about becoming TNA World champion. About the possibility of becoming champion, Foley got ravenous and said “WHY NOT?”

Dr. Stevie (Stevie Richards) & Abyss: Abyss was shown talking about the Octomom and said he and Lauren would never be that irresponsible. Dr. Stevie said he told Abyss not to use weapons and he claimed he hasn’t touched any weapons. Dr. Stevie said Abyss missed his last two sessions. Dr. Stevie said he told Abyss not to use weapons and he disobeyed him. Abyss said he accepted the First Blood match with Matt Morgan at Lockdown. Dr. Stevie got up and started bashing Abyss in the face and screamed “I told you! No more violence!!!” Dr. Stevie quietly sat back down and said “same time next week, Chris?”

Team 3-D (Brothers Ray & Devon) defeated Mafia Security (Rocco & Sal): Beer Money Inc. joined Mike Tenay & Don West on commentary and told Team 3-D they just want to watch. Team 3-D did not trust them, but they were attacked from behind by Rocco & Sal! After the match, Team 3-D were looking down at Beer Money when they were attacked from behind again by Rocco & Sal. James Storm & Robert Roode jumped in the ring and beat the crap out of Rocco & Sal and gave Team 3-D their IWGP belts. Beer Money turned their backs and left Team 3-D very confused!

Jeremy Borash & Mick Foley + Samoa Joe: Mick Foley called Jeff Jarrett a party pooper. Samoa Joe showed up and said he wanted the Main Event Mafia, and Mick can make that happen. Mick asked Joe to take the knife away from JB’s neck and he’ll see what he can do…

Lauren Brooke & Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode & James Storm): Robert Roode explained that people are seeing the very serious side of Beer Money.. Roode said they want Team 3-D at their very best, with no injuries or excuses. Roode said between now and Lockdown, that have Team 3-D’s back. James Storm said they are on a mission to prove that they are the best ever. Storm said when they beat Team 3-D they want to see the look on their faces. Storm said they will be known as the greatest tag team in the world.

The Main Event Mafia (Kurt Angle & Kevin Nash & Scott Steiner & Booker T w/Sharmell) + Sting + Mick Foley: Kurt Angle said it takes a big man to admit that he is wrong. Angle said he questioned Sting’s loyalty. Angle said he was wrong about Sting, and apologized on the spot before offering a handshake. Sting asked if Angle really thinks a simple handshake will erase the last couple of months? Sting said when they started the Mafia in Las Vegas it was all about respect, but that’s not what Kurt is about. Sting said they call the young guys “brats” but Kurt has to be the biggest spoiled rotten brat in TNA. Sting said Kurt’s ego has gone too far and he’s not buying it. Angle said he is who he is and he can’t change, but once again offered his apology. Sting left the ring and Kevin Nash took the microphone to call him back. Nash said the man apologizes and Sting is just gonna walk away? Nash asked what ever happened to “turn the other cheek” and Sting said “don’t go there!” The crowd changed ‘walk away’ at Sting. Nash said there are a few people in the business he still respects and Sting is one of them. Nash said if Sting walks away he’ll never know what respect is. Nash asked Sting to give Angle a chance. Mick Foley showed up in the rafters with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. Foley said he wanted to make sure Sting was ready for him at Lockdown so he booked him in a Non-title match with Samoa Joe tonight!

Dr. Stevie (Stevie Richards) & The Governor (Daffney): The Governor has morphed back into her Daffney character. Daffney told Dr. Stevie about the Beautiful People cutting her hair. Daffney said sometimes there are chemicals in the brain that can’t be fixed. Daffney is a female RAVEN!

Taylor Wilde defeated Madison Rayne w/The Beautiful People: Immediately following the match, the Beautiful People attacked Taylor Wilde and threatened to cut her hair, but Taylor escaped and ran backstage to save her hair. The Beautiful People yelled at Madison Rayne and told her to run after Taylor…

Taylor Wilde & Madison Rayne + The Beautiful People: Madison Rayne attacked Taylor Wilde in the shower (don’t worry boys, she was wearing a robe). The Beautiful People joined in and they managed to cut some of Taylor’s hair off before security broke it up…

Lauren Brooke & Jenna Morasca + Kevin Nash: Jenna Morasca said she didn’t hear what Kurt Angle said about her earlier. Before Lauren could tell her, Kevin Nash showed up and pulled her away. Nash said all Angle said was that Jenna was the hottest thing to ever be in TNA.. She IS hot…

Scott Steiner defeated A.J. Styles: Jeff Jarrett came down and prevented A.J. Styles from using a chair and getting disqualified. Angle came down and started fighting with Jarrett. Steiner grabbed Styles from behind and finished him off for the win!

Jeremy Borash & TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeremy Borash: Sting said win, lose, or draw, he will survive because that is what he does. Sting said next week Mick is going to pay..

TNA World Heavyweight champion Sting vs. Samoa Joe ended in a No Contest: The match ended quickly in a double disqualification as Joe went wild like he usually does. Booker T tried to help Sting, but Joe destroyed him too. Joe found a chair and threatened to smash Sharmell, who was protecting Booker T. Joe dropped the chair and left the ring, but pulled Sharmell out of the ring and carried her backstage over his shoulder! Joe took Sharmell out of the iMPACT Zone and out the back door as the show ended…..