It’s the weekend which means no work, partying and of course, the Women’s Wrestling Write-Up! How’s everyone doing this week? I am Jack ‘The Diva Deliverer’ White (yup, that’s an awful nickname) and this week’s write-up has developmental and main roster Divas in action (yes I know, the Divas actually got a match this week!) and the Knockouts are in action too. Which Divas and Knockouts were used and what did they do? Let’s take a look at this week’s Opening Contest!
Our Opening Contest this week sees 4 TNA Knockouts battle over the Number 1 Contendership to the Knockouts Title. After last week’s tag team match featuring the 4 challengers that ended very controversially, it won’t surprise you to realise that Earl Hebner is once again the referee for this contest. Will Earl help Madison Rayne get another win? Will Tara Widow’s Peak her way to the title match? Can Gail make the others Eat Defeat or will Mickie James live up to her name and qualify for Hardcore Justice? To set-up the match, there was a backstage segment featuring Gail and Madison so let’s take a peek at that and then we can get into the match!
My Thoughts: WHAT a match! It was close between this and another match to be crowned this week’s Main Event yet there were just a few things keeping this off the top spot. Before getting to the match, I have to unleash this week’s OMG of the Week. What on earth was Miss Tessmacher on commentary LMFAO? I’ve always been cracked up by her mic work for some reason, (remember that “Miss Tessmacher is back, bitches” promo?) but tonight it was just an overload of blasphemous Maria Sharapova-esque groaning! She did a good job of portraying that the Knockouts roster is the best in the world, even if she did go on about it a bit too much but I was just creased by her random “OOH”s and “JESUS”s ha-ha. She even managed to throw the word ‘p*ssed’ around and call Tara ‘Lisa’ which sealed the deal for me! One very good point she made though was that she addressed Mickie’s upcoming snail’s pace of a Heel turn, which I really liked. Back to her being a hot mess though, I don’t know what it is that I find so funny but she comes across as so cocky and confident for someone who is meant to be an underdog, and it’s sort of like she is just so random that it’s funny.
Onto the match, it was a solid performance. First off, I’m now more in love with Gail Kim after the way she looked on IMPACT, the woman can do no wrong. Well she can, that time she threw glitter on Vickie Guerrero on RAW but anyway! The story within the match toward the finish was excellent in my opinion as for most of the match, Gail and Madison worked over Tara, including Gail’s amazing Superplex on Tara and the crowd were majorly behind the Widow’s Peak Freak. I was really gunning for her to win and for it to get snatched away from her at the last minute, it made you really feel for her. I also enjoyed when Madison was distracting Earl as Gail went for the pin following the Superplex.
Faults of the match for me were that Mickie James wasn’t in it enough for me. She got a little offence in but she didn’t use any of her patented moves like the Mick Kick or Lou Thesz Press and the latter of those moves would have made the match that bit more dramatic. I’m also not a fan of the finish again. Earl Hebner is proving to the King of the Screwjobs yet again by blatantly fixing the result so Madison wins and I get that but I think my main problem with this is Madison. She’s doing ok and her ring work is better than before but personally, I’m not her biggest fan and after she’s already lost to Tess several times, I would rather see Rosita take on this position but you can’t have it all. A very, very competent episode of IMPACT that was nearly my Main Event of the week.
Onto ‘Midcard Mediocrity’ for this week and we’ll stay with IMPACT Wrestling and focus on the woman who should be nominated for a Razzie award, ‘Crackers’ Claire Lynch. She’s a crazy mo-fo who wants AJ Styles to “DO THE RIGHT THING FOR OUR BABY!” Check out her baby shower hosted by Christopher Daniels and Kazarian. It’s so funny, it’s brilliant!
Next on this week’s Midcard Mediocrity is the first night on the job for new RAW GM, AJ! She has sadly ditched the converse for a new suit, which she said was a Child’s Medium on Twitter. Aww! AJ lit things up 4 times over the 3 hour show and I’ll address them all next!
My Thoughts: AJ was a pretty good GM for her first night in charge. She wasn’t as crazy as I would have liked but she did get those white coats to take away Daniel Bryan which provided some brilliant backstage segments for throughout the show. Her interaction with Daniel was great and her facial expressions were once again spot on. A decent start for AJ but please, bring the converse back somehow!
Also on RAW, the Funkadactyls Cameron and Naomi had their 2nd ever dance-off style shtick with Vickie Guerrero, which was just as funny the 2nd time around as it was the first time 6 months ago. Vickie’s moves are the bomb!
Sticking with Divas, we are off the yellow-roped land of NXT next to see Raquel Diaz continue her ‘Exfoliating Ugliness Tour’. Now this video was on YouTube, but unfortunately, it was taken down and now I can’t find it anywhere on the internet so apologies! It saw Raquel take on the person with less personality than a Potato, Audrey Marie. Audrey debuted new country-ish music and her tron featured her name on a cowboy-style belt buckle so I’m sure the comparisons between her and Mickie James will continue much to the chagrin of Audrey fans. Raquel got the win via a Gory Bomb and proceeded to put an L for Loser on Audrey’s forehead with lipstick after the match was done.
I didn’t think the match was as bad as the crowd made out (they were chanting YOU CAN’T WRESTLE!) although the edited down finished product was obviously going to be better than what was live. I’m sure it was edited so I don’t know why WWE didn’t edit out those chants. Maybe they’re so deluded and think its Heel heat for Raquel, I don’t know! However after the match, there was a brief backstage interview with the greatest WWE Diva ever, Paige and that IS still on YouTube, so here it is!
My Thoughts: Even if it was just 6 words that she got to say, it’s great to see Paige given a bit more spotlight than some of the other women on NXT. What’s confused me though is Paige was the first person Raquel beat on her ‘Exfoliating Ugliness Tour’ so why are they acting like that never happened? It would have made more sense for Caylee or Sofia to speak as they are yet to face Raquel. Nevertheless, Paige’s mysterious raven-haired lady persona was kept intact nicely and I look forward to see her teaming with Tamina whenever WWE decides to air that particular episode.
The final stop on Midcard Mediocrity this week is Friday Night Smackdown. Although the Divas didn’t feature in a match on the show, there were two backstage segments with Divas speaking with the new GM of Smackdown, Booker T! OH MY GOODNESS DAWG! The first featured Eve and the second one featured Layla. It’s nice to see that the Divas Champ hasn’t been forgotten about, and there’s more on that later. Take a look at the segments and then I’ll tell you what I thought.
My Thoughts: This is the sort of thing that should feature on all shows – these were two simple but effective backstage segments. Eve and Layla both showed off their personalities and both segments were entertaining. Now what was interesting to me was what Layla said to close her segment; she was talking to Booker T about switching things up. What could she have meant by that? She must know she’d not going to get any time on RAW even though it’s 3 hours long so I wonder what her proposition is to Booker T? I really hope WWE make something out of this, even if it is something that sounds a bit silly like a Shucky Ducky Number 1 Contender’s Tournament. Let’s keep our eyes peeled!
DUN DUN DUN! It’s time for this week’s Death Slot and we’re going back to IMPACT Wrestling. ODB and Eric Young got a backstage segment this week (Yey or Ney depending on how you feel about them) and one good thing came out this, ODB didn’t smack herself in the private bits. However, the rest was mindboggling annoying and well, you can see what transpires for yourself.
My Thoughts: What a plan Eric. That will obviously work as Brooke Hogan isn’t capable of booking you and ODB in a match together, bring the belts together! #Sarcasm. Eric’s comedy was horrible in this segment and WHAT THE HELL are they doing making a storyline that means the belts won’t be defended? Ok, it’s nice to get some spotlight on the ‘Knocked Up’ Tag Champs but tbh, this can only go one of two ways. Either, like how the X-Division has recently been beefed up, the Knockouts division replaces some of the recent names it’s lost and allow for more girls to contest for the tag belts or Brooke Hogan retires them due to lack of action surrounding them and the fact Eric Young is a man. I honestly wouldn’t care if it was the latter sadly, but let’s be positive and hope that it’s the former.
Drum roll please! It’s time for your Main Event of the evening! We’re jumping over to WWE Superstars to see Layla vs. Natalya! That’s right people, the Divas made it to TV, even if it is international territory TV. Will the Divas Champion Lay-Out Natalya? Or will the Dungeon Diva destroy our little English muffin? Let’s check it out!
My Thoughts: This was a very entertaining match and I can’t fault it! Both girls managed to show off their childish personas perfectly; with Layla acting like a goof whilst break dancing in the ring which ticked off Natalya. Nattie was the childish playground bully like usual using her “HOW DARE YOU” and “I HATE YOU” catchphrases which was great. The girls made lemonade out of lemons by using their expressions and voices to put themselves across as 3-dimensional characters and I applaud them for that!
Some of the action was very nice and action of note happened from the get go. Natalya slapping Layla lit a fire under the former LayCool member and it was good to see that after some nice offence, (including a variation of Layla’s signature flipping pin), Layla managed to get revenge by delivering a smack around the chops. Matt Striker alluded to Layla watching videos of Fit Finlay and it appears Natalya has too as she took a page out of his book by trapping Layla in the ring skirt which was very refreshing to see. Ms Neidhart managed to ride another surfboard from her arsenal which I loved and the camera work was brilliant to show that Nattie had own her shoulder up to stop it from going against her, very nice! Then out of nowhere, Layla got the win with a sick sounding kick and like the Lay-Out, it seems Layla can strike whenever you least expect it. Overall, whilst I’m a bit annoyed the match was on Superstars, it’s amazing that we got to see a match considering Layla’s last two appearances have been cancelled in recent weeks. Let’s hope after what Layla talked to Booker T about on Smackdown, the Divas can transition to proper TV!
Thanks for reading this latest edition of WWW and I hope you enjoyed it. Please don’t hesitate to follow me on Twitter @Jack5326 and let me know what you think of the column, or perhaps we can just talked about wrestling non-stop; both sound good to me! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!