WOMEN SUPERSTARS UNCENSORED
DVD #1: “The 2nd Coming”
DVD #2: “Uncensored Rumble II”
DVD #3: “Martinez vs. Orsini: Iron Woman”
(June 6, 2009 – Boonton, New Jersey)
INTRODUCTION: Women Superstars Uncensored released three DVD’s featuring matches from their June 6th mega event, including a major shake-up in the Tag Team division, an exciting Uncensored Rumble, and the greatest match in WSU history – a 60-minute Iron Woman match for the WSU championship. I decided to review all three of these DVD’s at the same time so I could catch up as quickly as possible. Congratulations to WSU and all the girls for the release of another quality product.
THE 2ND COMING
FOR RIGHTS TO THE BEATDOWN BETTIES
Roxie Cotton & Annie Social vs. Rick Cataldo & Sean Hanson: I think the only thing worse than seeing Rick Cataldo & Sean Hanson on my television is the realization that Missy Hyatt had to call the action by herself. The battle of the Beatdown Betties would finally end as the my sweetheart Roxie and her Goth tag team partner, Annie, took on the homosexual pairing of the perpetually irritating Rick Cataldo and his horny zebra, Sean “Ref” Hanson. Thank God the real Betties, Roxie and Annie, won the match and retained the rights to the Beatdown Betties name. Roxie was looking extra sexy in her new ring apparel. The post match whiney ramblings of Sean Hanson & Rick Cataldo will have you reaching for the fast-forward button. But if you must know; Cataldo professed his love for Hanson and kissed him on the lips! Hanson freaked out and ran away, as Cataldo chased after him…
IN-RING SEGMENT: Brooke Carter strutted out to the ring wearing some brand new sexy ring gear and left me wondering if she would be needing any fries to go with that shake. She was carrying both WSU tag team belts, and announced that her partner Miss April had joined the WWE. Carter said her new partner hadn’t shown up yet, and if she doesn’t show up, she will defend the WSU Tag Team titles by herself tonight.
Rain vs. Nikki Roxx: Before the match, Nikki Roxx talked about the Uncensored Rumble and wanting to win back the WSU championship, which she lost while she was working for TNA. Rain came out and said since Roxx was gone, she has taken control of WSU. Sean Hanson rejoined Missy Hyatt on commentary, and tactfully avoided Hyatt’s implications that he was GAY. Rain is also a former employee of TNA; remember Payton Banks? Both of these women managed to escape TNA without getting ruined, and are without a doubt two of the greatest female wrestlers on the independent circuit. Rain grounded Roxx and stretched her on the mat. Hyatt showed her class by calling it “Rain isn’t used to being on the bottom, she’s usually on the bottom with her legs up in the air.” Several minutes later, Hyatt was once again teasing Hanson and proclaimed, “gay people shouldn’t get married, they don’t have any rights, if you’re a FAG you don’t have any rights!” Seriously, why does this ignorant whore have a job in the wrestling business? Oh well, she has the right to her own opinion, but why does she have to express it while two professional athletes are busting their asses in the ring? Between Hyatt’s nonsense on commentary, Rain and Roxx were putting each other in some great wrestling moves. Surprisingly, Rain hit the implant DDT on Roxx and scored the 1-2-3 to win the match. I think Rain deserves a one-on-one shot at the WSU championship, now!
8-WOMAN TAG TEAM MATCH
Latasha & Missy Sampson & Amy Lee & Lady Dyvyne vs. Jana & Kacee Carlisle & Lea Morrison & Trixie Lynn: The stipulation of the match was that the winner of the final pinfall would earn the #20 spot in the Uncensored Rumble, while the loser of the pinfall would earn the dreaded #1 spot. Former Soul Sisters, Jana and Latasha, were the official captains of their respective teams – like a classic Survivor Series match. Latasha is so small and green, she looks like something you might find on Missy Sampson or Amy Lee’s dinner plate. Sampson and Kacee Carlisle trash-talked each other before the match. Lea Morrison looked like a fish out of water, but I never noticed how tall she is until now. Latasha wanted to have a dance-off, but Jana’s team didn’t want anything to do with it until Morrison stepped in and did a sultry dance in the middle of the ring. Lady Dyvyne stepped in and shook her ghetto booty. Trixie Lynn is one of the most physically fit women on the planet. After some more lame dancing, including some floor-humping by Primetime Amy Lee, this important match finally got underway. Missy Hyatt embarrassed herself once more by taking a uneducated shot at SHIMMER on commentary. Lady Dyvyne was the first person eliminated (by Trixie Lynn), so she will enter the Uncensored Rumble first. Missy Sampson was eliminated after a stiff chair-shot from Jana which they didn’t even get on camera. Hyatt went on a rant, “that can cause concussions, and we all know what concussions can do to a person – you kill your whole family and you kill yourself!” Lea Morrison was eliminated by Amy Lee after a splash. Things got crazy at this point for a few brief moments. Kacee Carlisle was eliminated by Latasha. Lady Dyvyne returned to ringside and attacked Trixie Lynn looking for revenge. Amy Lee and Trixie Lynn were both eliminated by countout during the melay. It came down to Jana vs. Latasha in the finals. Jana went down to a knee injury, and Latasha showed remorse for her former tag team partner. Jana was a little too over-dramatic to be taken seriously. Of course she struggled her way up to her feet with the help of a friend and then suddenly sneak-attacked Latasha! Missy Hyatt proclaimed “she Jap’ed her!” Idiot. Jana celebrated, having earned the right to enter the Uncensored Rumble at #20!
Big Van Missy (Sampson) vs. Jennifer Cruz: After being carried out of the previous match with a concussion, Missy Sampson returned with a Vader mask and called herself Big Van Missy. I guess they’re doing the Cactus Jack gimmick from WCW. It’s MISSY TIME. They even used Vader’s music from the WWE. She made short work of rookie Jennifer Cruz..
IN THE RING: Angel Orisini came out and hyped the 60-minute Iron Woman match between herself and Mercedes Martinez for the WSU championship. Orsini called out Martinez to say hi to the fans. Orsini detailed their history, including helping to break Martinez into the business. Martinez took the microphone and talked about paying her dues and asked why Orsini turned her back on her. Someone in the crowd yelled “she’s jealous!” Martinez praised Orsini for being the longest WSU champion ever. Martinez thanked WSU for booking the first ever 60-minute Iron Woman match. Orsini said if Martinez beats her in the Iron Woman match she will have earned her respect.
WSU TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH
Brooke Carter & Alicia (replacing Miss April) vs. Hailey Hatred & Jessicka Havok: Brooke Carter started the match without her partner, because she had apparently hadn’t arrived at the building yet. After a few minutes, the lights went out, and a black-haired Alicia magically appeared in Brooke’s corner! They brought back WSU legend Alicia to replace Miss April as tag team champion because April had signed a WWE developmental contract and had reported to the FCW training facility in Tampa. I’ve seen older pictures of Jessicka Havok, but I had no idea how good looking she was in real life. Missy Hyatt is Alicia’s biggest fan, so she turned up the volume and really tried to put her over on commentary. Carter hit Havok with Sliced Bread for the 1-2-3 to retain the WSU Tag Team championships! Alicia cut a promo after the match, officially ending her retirement and said she would only be wrestling for WSU with her new tag team partner, Brooke Carter!
UNCENCORED RUMBLE II
UNCENSORED RUMBLE II
(20-WOMAN BATTLE ROYAL)
Nikki Roxx wins the Uncensored Rumble!: Lady Dyvyne entered at the dreaded #1 spot. Hailey Hatred entered at #2 – she has lost a lot of weight, and is still a big girl, but looking great these days! 90-seconds later, Missy Sampson entered at #3 – still selling the “concussion” suffered on the previous DVD. Kacee Carlisle entered the Rumble at #4 – and went after arch nemesis Missy Sampson. Rick Cataldo entered the Rumble at #5 – but wouldn’t officially get in the ring. Annie Social entered the Rumble at #6 – and quickly targeted Cataldo. Sampson was eliminated by Carlisle, Trixie Lynn entered at #7 – taking the fight to Lady Dyvyne (a feud which started on the previous DVD). Primetime Amy Lee waddled to the ring in the #8 spot – and punched Trixie in the face to defend her student! Dyvyne was eliminated by Trixie. Rain entered the Rumble at #9. Roxie Cotton entered the Rumble at #10. Nikki Roxx entered the Rumble at #11 – looking for retribution on Rain. Latasha entered the Rumble at #12. Jessicka Havok entered the Rumble at #13. Roxie was eliminated after a weak shove by Amy Lee. Brooke Carter entered the Rumble at #14. Lea Morrison entered the Rumble at #15 and was immediately eliminated – but none of it was caught on camera. Jennifer Cruz entered the Rumble at #16. Sean Hanson (who went quiet on commentary for several minutes) entered the Rumble at #17. Amy Lee was eliminated after everyone ganged up on her (she went out under the bottom rope because miracles don’t happen in Boonton). All the girls took turns beating on Ref Hanson. Big Van Missy (Missy Sampson with post concussion syndrome) entered the Rumble at #18. Sean Hanson was eliminated by Big Van Missy. Everyone seemed to stop what they were doing to look at Big Van Missy with concern. WSU legend Alicia entered the Rumble at #19 and took her time entering the ring. Hailey Hatred was eliminated by Alicia. Brooke Carter was eliminated by Jessicka Havok. Havok was eliminated by Alicia. Jana entered the Rumble at #20. Big Van Missy was eliminated off camera (way to sell the gimmick). Annie Social was eliminated by Rain. Latasha was eliminated by Jana. Kacee Carlisle was eliminated by someone unidentified.. The final four were Nikki Roxx vs. Rain vs. Alicia vs. Jana – Alicia was eliminated by Roxx & Rain. Jana was eliminated by Nikki Roxx. It came down to Rain vs. Nikki Roxx – the two most successful and experienced wrestlers in WSU. Roxx dumped Rain out of the ring and was declared the winner of the WSU Uncensored Rumble 2 and earn a shot at the WSU champion – which she once held in 2008.
IN THE RING: Primetime Amy Lee came back out to the ring and I prepared to use my fast-forward button. Amy Lee congratulated Roxx and praised her for the victory before asking her to leave so she could speak her mind. Amy Lee talked about turning 40 in August. Lee claimed that she brought Angel Orsini & Mercedes Martinez into WSU and all she asked for was a title shot, but all of her title shots have taken place in NWS. Amy Lee yelled at a few front row fans for interrupting her and actually threatened to shoot one of them in the head (aren’t there laws in the U.S. against uttering death threats?). The noisy rant got even more aggressive, as she complained about people (like me) disrespecting her. You know what? Screw this. Amy Lee is not a good wrestler. She’s downright terrible on the microphone. I can’t stand the sight of her. I don’t care if she has been in the business for twenty years. I didn’t know who the hell she was until I started getting WSU DVD’s in 2007. She is an embarrassment to professional wrestling. I guess this rant was supposed to turn her into a “stone cold” heel. I started to feel like she was talking directly to me with this “shoot,” because I’ve been so critical of her work over the years. That’s okay, though - because at least I’m good at what I do. THAT… is a SHOOT!
BONUS MATCH – FIVE-PACK CHALLENGE (NWS – MAY 30)
Mercdes Martinez vs. Angel Orsini vs. Roxie Cotton vs. Annie Social vs. Brooke Carter:
BONUS MATCH – (FAN CAM NIGHT – MAY 1 in BROOKLYN, NY)
Angel Orsini vs. Jana: Good match, terrible camera work.
MARTINEZ VS. ORSINI: IRON WOMAN
60-MINUTE IRON WOMAN MATCH
FOR THE WSU CHAMPIONSHIP
Mercedes Martinez (c) vs. Angel Orsini: This was booked as their final encounter, and the end of their intense feud. The loser of the match would not receive a rematch during the champion’s title reign. There has been quite a build-up to this match, so they included a special preview video on the DVD so viewers can get the full perspective of the rivalry. Both women came out with water bottles, which is something they will want after sixty minutes of action. They started out slow, engaging in a test of strength and feeling each other out. About ten minutes in, the grapplers were starting to feel the burn – at least that is what they wanted us to believe. Around the fifteen minute mark, they started getting hardcore with a kendo stick and a trash can. Around the twenty minute mark, the fight spilled out onto the floor and into the crowd, where they bounced each other off the walls in an attempt to wear the other down and in order to score the first fall. A few minutes later, they ended up on the balcony – the same balcony they were on at the infamous June 21st, 2008 Falls Count Anywhere encounter at Army of One. At that event, Martinez launched Orsini from one balcony to the other, so for the Iron Woman match, Orsini paid her back by launching Martinez off of one balcony to the other one! Suddenly the girls crashed out the back door and fought on the flatbed trailer that supposedly carried the ring to the show. Cars just wizzed by as they exchanged punches under the stars. As they reached the thirty minute mark, there were still no successful pinfalls. At this point the match has gone by pretty quickly, but I wondered if they had what it takes to keep the fans interest for another thirty minutes. Around the forty minute mark there was a table and a ladder in the ring. Not even Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart are crazy enough to do that. At the forty-five minute mark they switched to a submission-style match. They’ve done a good job going from one genre to another so the match doesn’t have time to get stale. Fifty minutes passed with no successful falls by either woman, so the pace picked up, in an attempt to get that important advantage going into the home stretch. With two minutes left in the contest, things really started to get desperate. Martinez hit a Fisherman’s Buster on Orsini through a table in the middle of the ring! Orsini miraculously kicked out with one minute remaining on the clock. Martinez tried for the pin twice more with no luck. Martinez put Orsini in a submission hold and stretched her until time expired! All sixty minutes of this match have flown by, and I find myself wanting more. The referee called for sudden death overtime. Orsini regained the advantage and worked over the arm of Martinez. Orsini whacked Martinez with the kendo stick repeatedly. After about ten minutes of overtime, Martinez finally finished off Orsini with a Fisherman’s Buster on top of a flattened ladder in the middle of the ring! Incredible!! Angel Orsini grabbed the WSU belt and clutched it against her chest, before presenting it to Mercedes Martinez! Nikki Roxx came out in a cute purple outfit and congratulated the champion on a well deserved victory. Number one contender Roxx made it clear that she couldn’t wait to get in the ring with Martinez and get it on. Roxx offered to help Martinez out of the ring, but the champion wanted to celebrate in front of the fans for a few moments before exiting…