November 15, 2001 – SmackDown: Paul Heyman delivers the greatest promo ever.
Transcript from SD! on November 15, 2001 (by Rob Boor)
Paul Heyman: “In just a few moments, at my leisure, I’m going to call Vince McMahon out, to his ring, in front of his public, on a television show that is owned by his grand company. At least, that is, until this Sunday at Survivor Series.”
Heyman stops as the fans chant Asshole.
“I know how much all of you appreciate what Shane and Stephanie and I have done. How Shane, Stephanie and I have stood up to the territory of Vince Mcmahon. And the way it is, ladies and gentlemen, is quite simple: The WWF will die this Sunday!”
The entire arena fills with boo’s.
“But don’t blame me for that. It’s not my fault. I’m not the one that ruined everything that was accomplished by Stone Cold Steve Austin. You see, at Survivor Series, it means so much more than just the personalities that are involved. It’s about ending what Vince McMahon has tried to accomplish. I sat there at that desk on Monday and I listened to Mick Foley and I agreed with everything that Mick Foley had to say. That the WWF truly does suck!”
The fans continue to boo.
“Don’t boo me! Have you watched the television show lately? Vince McMahon has lost his mind! The man doesn’t have it any more. He’s a has-been. His ideas are antiquated. His concepts are draconian, and Mick Foley was right because the WWF is imploding from within. Like every great empire, the WWF is imploding from within. Vince’s loyal employees, like Stone Cold, left him. Like Mick Foley, want nothing to do with him. Vince’s own children want him to burn in hell, and I don’t blame them. Vince Mcmahon will see the WWF die this Sunday at Survivor Series and he has no hope to save his precious company. Vince Mcmahon has the same chances of saving the WWF, as he did of realising his dream of starting a football league.”
Vince Mcmahon finally comes out to a huge ovation. As he gets in the ring, Heyman gets on his knees. He then gets back up to talk.
“I want you to know, I was down on my knees because I know that you’re used to men, *Kissing noises*, kissing your ass Vinnie. Every time you walk in the back, there’s Patterson and Brisco. ‘Oh what a great idea you had Vince!’ *Kissing noises* You like men kissing your ass, don’t you Vince, huh? Cause that’s what you’re all about! A billionaire! The billionaire Vince Mcmahon! The creator of sports entertainment! I’ve waited so long to see you face to face like this. And I’ve waited so long to tell you to your face that I hate your stinkin guts. But it’s not just me, it’s your children that hate your stinkin guts, Vince. And at Survivor Series, your children are gonna do to you, what I’ve waited my entire life to see somebody do to you, Vince. You are, so help me God, the most disgusting vile son of a bitch, I’ve ever seen in my life! You took Hulk Hogan‘s blood and you built Titan Towers. You stole Bret Hart‘s dream and with that money, bought yourself an aeroplane with WWF written all over it. You did that and you know it, you son of a bitch! You stole Shawn Michaels’ smile, took your company public and made yourself a billionaire. But not a self-made billionaire, like you like to tell everybody you are, oh no! You see, you’re a billionaire off of other people’s hard work. Your father, your father Vince Mcmahon, your father went around the country and shook the hand of. You know I’m telling the truth, don’t you? You know in your heart that I’m telling you the truth, that your father shook the hand of every promoter in this country and swore to them that he would never compete against them. That his son would never compete against them. And when your father died. you competed. And with your ruthless, merciless, take-no-prisoners attitude, you drove everybody out of business, didn’t you Vince? You ran all the competition into the ground and you stole all their ideas and you made yourself a billionaire out of it! And you know whose ideas you stole the most, Vince?! You stole mine! See, I don’t give a damn about Don Owen and Sam Muchnick and Jim Crockett, I care about what you did to me and my family. How you stole my dreams, how you stole my legacy! How you stole everything that ECW represented! Cause while Doink The Clown had green hair and a rubber nose, Stone Cold Steve Austin was drinking his first beer in ECW, damn you. While Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund were dancing around, singing tooty fruity, ECW was producing the edgy TV that you named, attitude. ‘Oh we’ve got attitude!’ You’ve got nothing man! What you’ve got is my ideas and you stole my life! My money! My legacy!”
Heyman snaps, and throws his hat at Vince.
“SCREW YOU! SCREW YOU AND YOUR FAMILY! I tell you something! Your own children hate your guts! And on Sunday, your children are gonna get even with you! For everything that you stole from me! For everything that you stole from them! You flaunt your affairs in front of your wife! You flaunt your affairs in Playboy for your children to read! You bastard!”
He turns his attention to the announce table.
“Look at Tazz! Look at Tazz! This man was a killer! He was a machine! He was a wrestler. A great wrestler, a real man. But wrestling’s a dirty word to you, isn’t it Vince? Your father built a wrestling company and you had to have ‘sports entertainment, we have to have sports entertainment ha ha ha’. He was a wrestler. He was a great wrestler, he was a man. And now, he’s just a fat little obnoxious colour commentator, and not even a good one! He is a sports entertainer. He is not a wrestler cause you made wrestling a dirty word. You made wrestling, a dirty word Vince! What kind of man, are you?!”
Tazz stands up and heads to the ring. Heyman stalls on the microphone and Tazz climbs into the ring behind him and locks Paul E. in the Tazzmission. Vince then picks up the microphone.
Vince Mcmahon: “Paul Heyman, you are the epitome of The Alliance, because this Sunday at Survivor Series, The Alliance will choke!”